I've decided to write this cute little songfic for no absolute reason.

I got the idea from JesseMac Girl the Flinda Freak's Defying Professors. Read it, it's pretty funny.

This is based on "Popular", originally sung by Galinda, but this time it's Elphaba's turn to teach with "Intelligent".

I may not own "Popular", but I sure do own this one! :P

Enjoy it!

-Essence

"Intelligent"

ELPHABA:

(Spoken)
Galinda, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project.

GALINDA:

(Spoken)
Um, you don't really have to do that…

ELPHABA:

(Spoken)
I know, that's what makes me so…generous.

(Sung)
Whenever I see someone with less IQ than I,
and let's face it, who doesn't have less IQ than I?
My tender brain tends to start to bleed.
And when someone starts to fail at math,
I simply have to direct their path!
In order to show them exactly what they need!

And even in your case,
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,
Don't worry, I'm determined to make YOU succeed!
Follow my lead,
And yes indeed, you will be...

INTELLIGENT!
You're going to be intelligent!
I'll put you right on track, ,
When you start to slack,
And teach you how to read and write,
Yes!
I'll show you what books to peruse!
How to find your muse!
Everything that really counts to be...

INTELLIGENT!
I'll help you be intelligent!
If you're willing to learn,
There's so much you'll earn,
Knowing the vocab you've got to know.
So let's start,
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

Don't be offended by my shrewd evaluation,
Think of it as a very necessary salvation,
Now that I've chosen to become a
friend, a tutor and professor,
There's nobody better!
Not when it comes to...

INTELLEGENCE!
I know about intelligence.
and with a boost from me,
to be who you'll be,
instead of dumb who you were...
Well, are.
There's nothing that can stop you,
from becoming intellegence... ent...

La la, la la!
We're gonna make you intell-i-gent!

When I see dim-witted maids,
With uproariously horrible grades,
I remind them on their own they have
To - read - of
Celebrated heads of state,
Or specially great communicators!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!

OF COURSE THEY DID!
Please!
It's not all about popular.
It's all about aptitude,
It's not about the way you're viewed,
So it's very shrewd to be,
Very very popular
like YOU!

(Spoken)
Why, Miss Galinda, look at you. You're actually paying attention for once!

GALINDA:

(Spoken)
I, I have to go...

ELPHABA:

(Spoken)
You're welcome...

(Sung)
And though you complain,
You think it's obviously lame,
But I know clandestinely,
You're gonna thank me one day!
For your first great new A!
Aah!

La la, la la!
You'll be intelligent!
Just not quite as intelligent as ME!