You've Got Verve Main Pairings for this chapter: RoxasxInternetCreeper, couch!threesome, SoRiku Warnings: Faggotry, Sexual Content, Some Language, Cross Dressing (sorta?), Cousin complex, Extreme OOC, CRACKPAIRINGS.

Chapter Five: It's Not All Shits And Giggles. [Pshh, yeah right.]

Leon knocked on the door of the Xehnohart household, waiting a moment, then just pushing the door open. He froze mid-step, gagging on his own spit. A silverhaired guy he hadn't met before, he assumed it was Sephiroth -the 'other' brother- in some kind of 'Manwich' with a blonde and a black haired guy, all sucking noises and breathy pants. He backtracked quickly, tripping down the stairs, and falling agaisnt his car.

"Hey Leon!" Sora bounded from the back yard, Riku in tow, dragging his bag with him.

"H-Hey Sora." Leon shook his head to clear the image; that was twisting the short blonde into his spikyhaired one. That is Cloud, not Roxas... Ew.

Sora hugged Riku goodbye and got in the car, and Leon tried not to notice Riku shuffle his legs awkwardly as Sora got in the car. Living in a house like that, it was no wonder the kid popped a woody whenever Sora was in a half-a-mile radius. He remembered when Cloud did that to him...

Oh, wait, he still does.

SCENERYCHANGECENERYCHANGESCENERYCHANGE

Roxas lounged on the couch with Namine and, suprisingly, Vexen. Marluxia had skipped out about an hour ago, leaving the 'Blonde Brigade' to thier 'dull, unenthusatic, Angst Clut meeting'. They were watching some show about animals or murderers or supermodels, or whatever- same difference, when Roxas' phone rang.

'Come fly with me, let's fly, lets fly away. If you can use, some exotic booze, theres a bar in far bombay.'

Roxas pulled his phone out, then pressed the side button, sheepishly putting it on the table.

"It's him again, isn't it?" Namine voice was slightly tense, and Vexen shook his head.

"How can you hate him so much? You've never even met him!" Roxas sighed, turning to stare at Namine.

"Neither have you!" She excliamed, eyes wide.

"How do you know it's not some creeper Roxas? I mean, this guy could be really dangerous." Vexen said, pursing his lips.

"He's not! And he's my age!" Roxas protested, flushing.

"How do you know? You can't be sure!" Namine demanded, turning a bit red. Vexen nodded, and they chorused reasons together, attacking the shortest blonde.

"How? This is how!" Roxas shouted back, flipping open his phone and pressing a few buttons before shoving it towards Namine's face.

The recorded sound was a bit muffled and shaky, but the images simply confirmed it. The person was definatly saying Roxas' name, and the image on the screen on was definatly not PG-13. Namine gasped and Vexen burst into horrified laughter.

"Roxas!" She yelled, and the other blonde boy pouted angrily.

"What you didn't believe me?!" He shrieked back, and Vexen snatched the phone, playing the video again. Namine and Roxas argued while he fast-foward and paused.

"AHA!" Both the shorter jumped and turned toward him.

"Check it out, I got it to pause perfectly so we could see more of Mystery Man. He seems pretty hot." He turned the phone back toward them and Namine blushed bright red and turned back to the TV.

Roxas scrambled over to her to peer into the small screen. The actual shot was simply of the guys hard-on, head pink and dripping shiny. Behind that though, (if you'd ever think to look beyond that), a firm body and shadows of a face lay. Roxas squealed and pulled the phone closer.

"Namine, look Namine, look! OHmyGOD, Namine, look!" Roxas grinned and pushed the phone toward her, but she just blushed, shuddered and pushed him back.

"UH, Roxas, actually, me and Vexen are gonna go, and uh..." Namine ran out the door, and Vexen shrugged and followed her.

"Bye Roxas. Have, erm, fun?" The eldest shook his head and pulled the door shut.

Roxas rolled over onto his back and sighed, rubbing his thumb over the picture. He glanced around before opening up his texts, clicking that oh-so-familiar number.

SCENERYCHANGESCENERYCHANGE

"So, Sora, did you have fun?" Leon glanced over at his cousin, and the boy enthuastically nodded.

"Yup! I got see Sephiroth, and Zack, and Rufus, they're Seph's boyfriends, again, which was nice, and me and Riku had fun. It's too bad you couldn't meet them, Rufus, Zack, and Sephiroth that is..." Leon coughed a few times, then glanced back at the now quiet boy.

"What's wrong?" Sora chuckled a bit at Leon's concerned Mommy tone, but tugged on his earring a few times.

"Does Riku like me?" He asked quietly.

"Erm." Leon stared over at the boy, furrowing his eyebrows.

"'Cause, uh, we've, ya know fooled around a bit, but then this morning... He thought I was asleep, but I woke up when he rolled over on me, and... it was like, he like, wanted us to be together you know? Like he was pretending we were, but it was weird, and I didn't think Riku liked me, and I mean, I guess I like him, 'cause we have fooled around, and I did like that, but I don't know, ya know? Like, I known I'm gay, and I guess he's bi or whatever, which really, everyone kinda is, right? But anyway, yeah, he called me baby and stuff, which was a little weird and stuff, 'cause I was asleep, well supposed to be, and then I thought maybe he knew, but then he kissed me, and pulled away and sat on me to wake me up and stuff... And, goodlord, Leon, what do I do? Do you know if he likes me?"

Sora said this all with hardly breathing, flinging his hands around and turning toward Leon. The other brunette blinked thickly, squinting one eye as he tried to sort through Sora's speech. He went with just telling Sora what he knew.

"Yes, Sora, Riku likes you. I think he's been hinting and flirting in his own way. You should take it into your own hands." Leon pulled into the driveway and turned off the car.

"Thanks Leon! I'll think of a plan. Hey, you should take your own advice.... Cloud really likes you, you know? You guys should quit messing around and just kiss." Sora slammed the car door shut, and Leon banged his head on the steerwheel a few times.

Roxas grinned as Sora skipped in the house, and the car horn beeped loud and long a few times. Cloud looked up from his magazine, and glanced at Sora. The boy grinned and flopped on Roxas' lap.

"I need your advice, big brother."

[Part of this is based on true facts. ]