Argh. I had this idea, and I had to get it out. I was just doing my homework, and then this idea popped up in my head, and I couldn't get it out. and because I couldn't get it out, the homework got abandoned and my mind went into overdrive and planned two sequels for this. thus, I'm sitting here with a pile of undone homework. (kinda like Matsumoto and the paperwork and the sake)

have fun

DISCLAIMER: I HAVE SO MUCH BLEACH. SOSOSOSO MUCH, AND IT TURNS YOUR CLOTHES WHITE, BUT IT TURNED MY SCHOOL UNIFORM PINK

The young heir to the Kuchiki clan sat in the garden, with an expensive-looking shrub squished beneath him and his legs dangling in the water of the pond. His old grandfather approached from the far reaches of the garden, holding a slim zanpakutou in his gnarled hand. 'Byakuya-kun, would you care to explain why you ditched your zanpakutou in a vase before coming here to poison the koi, not to mention flatten a few plants?'

The young child, who looked barely twelve years old, shook his head, his black ponytail swinging.

'That was meant to be a rhetorical question, you dolt.'

'No way in HELL am I going to touch that thing,' at saying this, he shuddered. 'Ever again!'

Well, old men have short tempers, just to match their attention span. 'Why,' demanded the head of the clan. One old man was losing it already.

Byakuya glared defiantly into his grandfather's eyes. 'Because, it's a GIRL! A freakin' GIRLY GIRL!!'

'There are girls in this world for a reason, you know. Without a certain female known as your mother, you wouldn't be here.' Apparently some old men forget that they're angry really quickly too.

'All the better then. That way I wouldn't have to hang out with this JERK.' Byakuya stubbornly jabbed a finger in his zanpakutou's direction.

'Nobody said you had to "hang out" with your zanpakutou. You just need it to co-operate with you. Take it, and the next time I see it, it had better be with you.'

The child stuck his tongue out at his grandfather's retreating back, reluctantly wrenching his zanpakutou out of the tree where the head of the clan threw it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kuchiki Byakuya, exact age unknown, future heir to the noble clan, stubborn child who was currently swinging his future life companion in circles in desperate hopes that it would entertain him with a puke.

But of course, swords don't vomit.

'Why don't you just hack up SOMETHING, you useless metal rod! Darnit!'

A single flower petal floated out of the tip of the zanpakutou. Byakuya stared.

And then he yelled. 'I KNOW you're a girl but it doesn't mean you gotta hack up GIRLY stuff! EVEN SHIHOUIN HACKS UP FURBALLS!'

Young one...it has been a while since we knew each other...

Byakuya glared at the weapon.

Maybe it is time...to teach you something more powerful...of more worth.

He narrowed his eyes. 'What? The art of flower arrangement?'

My shikai.

'Which is? The ultimate perfume-producing attack? Why don't we start an air freshener business?'

Say it: Chire...(scatter) it will be good; I promise

'Fine.' He stared blankly at the zanpakutou. '...Chire...Senbonzakura.'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

An anguished (not to mention pissed) yell echoed throughout the entire Kuchiki grounds. Which to say, is a really large area. 'MY GAWD IT'S PINK!! AND FLUFFY!!'

How was it? my first oneshot concerning byakkun. (: I got sososoSO bored, you see, and I couldn't resist. and I know some people may complain, 'why put "gawd"? isn't it wrong spelling?' but I'm saying that it was spelt like that on purpose to place an emphasis on the pronunciation of the word, like how the vowel is dragged out and also pronounced a little wrongly. yeps, please don't kill me over that.

oh and if you wanna know, the sequel is more than likely going to be called The First Bankai.