12.00

My Room

You know, if I had the faintest idea how to begin a diary, I'd get started. But I don't so...

Oh, wait, I've began it.

Ok, I might have to tell you something about myself. (I don't see why personally, 'cos it's a bit stupid to give your personal information to a diary-no, not because of identity fraud- and no-one else is going to be reading this are they? Are they...?)

But I'll continue.

My name is Rayman-yes, him, don't go fangirl-, I'm seventeen and a half (Well, nearly eighteen, but try telling Ly that-she doesn't want me to grow up), and I'm...well...

Let's just say my life is not normal.

For one thing, I'm bunnyphobic. That is an actual disease. It's the irrational fear of bunny rabbits. But not so irrational in my case, 'cos the rabbits I've met are just plain freaky. And mad. I had nightmares afterwards. (Strangely, they involved a leprechaun*, but never mind.)

(*A leprechaun is a mythological annoying thing. I'm not too sure how else to explain it, other then it sort of reminds me of Murfy.)

"Rayman?"

It's Murfy, resident annoying mutant frog-bluebottle thing. He also has a really annoying habit of peering over peoples shoulders to see what they're writing.

"No I don't!"

See what I mean?

"You called me a mutant frog!"

"Well, actually I called you a mutant frog-bluebottle thing." But he wasn't listening to me.

"If you have a right to call me a mutant frog-bluebottle thing, then I can just call you a limbless freak!"

"Stop it Murfy."

Another thing-I'm limbless. You know, Rayman, the Limbless superhero guy. Anyone who was going fangirl would know that already. (I do have hands and feet and a head, but they kind of float.)

"Yes, well..."

"Murfy, I don't think you see the hilariousness of this situation. I write "He has a habit of looking over people's shoulders" and you say No I Don't, implying you'd looked over my shoulder, which means you do."

"You are confusing."

"Murfy, when even your blood circulation baffles people, I think you've got to the point where you're confusing."

"My blood circulation doesn't baffle people."

I'll leave him alone. He doesn't understand metaphorics. What was I supposed to say? "One's blood circulation"?

Anyway, going downstairs. And I've just been glomped by Tily the Hyperactive Fairy.

"Hello Rayman."

Hello Tily, nice to see you can still break my ribs.

"Hi...Tily...urgh...get...off...me...please."

She lets go. Thank Pokolus.

"Tily, sorry to tell you, but I might have to go into Casualty. It's not your fault; you obviously had very rough parents."

"You might...?"

Is there such thing as sarcasm in this world, or was it erased while I wasn't looking?

Obviously not, 'cos I was sarcastic then.

"LY! I've injured Rayman, and he's gotta go into Casualty!"

For. Pokolus's. Sake.

"He looks fine to me."

Allow me to facepalm myself.

"What was that for?"

"Tily...have you ever heard of sarcasm?"

"Uh-huh...Why?"

"ARRGHH!" And I go upstairs.

Murfy is still in my room. Pervert. He's worse then that ringmaster guy I met when I was eleven and had a stupid accent.

"Why is your diary writing itself?"

"What?"

I knew I shouldn't have left it in the same room as my Lum collection.

(Hey, the blue ones have oxygen in them. You want me to suffocate in an emergency situation?)

"Maybe the temporal energy exuding from the Lums is grafting itself to the space-time quantum signature left by the diary and therefore temporal signals from when you write the diary in the future, which would be your present, are echoing through time, and appearing in the past, which is also the present." says Murfy.

...

"You watch too much Doctor Who."

"How does that work?"

"EXACTLY! HOW DOES YOUR THEORY WORK? I'M CONFUSED, Murfy, AND I'M GETTING A HEADACHE! IN ENGLISH PLEASE?"

"Basically, your diary's writing itself."

...

"Back to Square One then." And I go back downstairs.

(The amount of times I'm travelling on these stairs, I swear I'm going to be renowned as Rayman the world-saving yoyo.)

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to the babies."

"They can't talk!"

"So? They can't confuse me!"

Murfy looks confused and slightly miffed. Ha. I smile at him and set off.

Tily is showing the girl Baby Globoxes how to make a friendship bracelet. Aww.

"Hello Mister Sarcastic." She says upon seeing me.

Not so sweet then.

But then, Tily has a habit of going all weird on people. You wouldn't believe she's fourteen.