Here's yet another alternate reality. This assumes that Cosmo returned to Tails. It also assumes that chapter one (and only chapter one) of How Not to Learn Hobbies happened. This'll probably be five or six chapters. An odd idea for a cross-over? Not when you consider Cosmo and the Hulk are both green…

COSMO AND TAILS MEET THE INCREDIBLE HULK!

Chapter One

"Don't Touch That Dial!"

Tails put down his acetylene torch and rubbed his eyes. He'd been working for hours on a way to reopen the portal between Mobius and Earth.

"I think you've done enough work for awhile," Cosmo said, bringing in a tray of lemonade and cookies. "You have to take care of yourself, honey."

Tails beamed at his girlfriend. He and Cosmo had suffered through more in the two years they'd known each other than most people had in a lifetime. "I don't need to," he kidded, "I have an angel to look after me."

"I'm not an angel," Cosmo said. She seemed to consider this. "Well, not anymore, anyway." Neither said anymore on the subject. That horrible time that Cosmo had been dead had nearly destroyed Tails.

Cosmo cleared her throat. "So, um…what are you working on now, Fuzzy Wuzzy?"

"Please don't call me that in front of other people," Tails said, blushing. He liked the pet name she'd come up with for him, but knew that Sonic and Knuckles and Amy would all kid him mercilessly about it.

"I'm working on a way to reconnect with Earth," Tails said, "it would be nice to hear from Chris and his friends again."

"I don't understand why it's so complicated," Cosmo said. "If you can build a space ship and super transform into Turbo Tails, why can't you get a time machine working?"

"Um…because flying and being energized by chaos emeralds is easier than manipulating the space/time continuum," Tails explained. "Anyway, I think I'm just about finished. Now, let's talk about us for awhile, my little Flower Princess."

"Why talk, Fuzzy Wuzzy?" Cosmo asked, kissing him. He wrapped his arms around her and returned the kiss. The world seemed brighter, the air fresher. They could almost hear birds singing.

They fed each other cookies and drank lemonade from the same cup. It was very sour, because Cosmo liked her lemonade that way. It made Tails pucker, which just encouraged Cosmo to kiss him again.

All too soon, Tails sighed and said, "I really should be getting back to work now."

"So soon?" Cosmo asked, pouting.

"I think I'll be finished today," Tails said.

"Good," Cosmo said, taking the tray back to the kitchen. "And I don't want you starting another project tonight!"

"Don't worry," Tails said. "I was thinking we might go to Twinkle Park tomorrow. Why don't you see if Sonic and Amy and Cream can come?"
"That's wonderful!" Cosmo cried. "I haven't been there yet! Cream promised to take me on the Little Planet Ride!"

"Uh…yeah," Tails said. "That's a…well, Cream loves that ride!"

"Don't you like it, Fuzzy Wuzzy?" Cosmo asked.

"Well…a lot more than Shadow would," Tails said.

"Great girl," Tails said affectionately. "Don't know what I did to deserve her, but being with her should get me out of a few years of purgatory." He sighed, then returned to his work.

Cosmo washed the dishes, then swept out the kitchen. Then she went out into her garden. She came back inside an hour later, soaking wet. She had watered the lawn, all of her flowers, the vegetable garden, then, just for the fun of it, herself!

"Note to self: wear swimsuit the next time I do that!" Cosmo muttered as she went to her room to change. She hummed a happy tune. It was spring, the best time for being a plant, and she was happy to be alive and with the love of her life.

After dressing, Cosmo remembered to call her friends

"Hello! Cream speaking!"

"Cream!" Cosmo said. "Hi! Would you like to come with Tails and me tomorrow to Twinkle Park?"

"Oh boy!" Cream cried. "We'd love to, wouldn't we, Cheese?"

"Chao chao!"

"That means yes!" Cream said.

"Could you call Amy?" Cosmo asked. "I'm afraid she might still be angry at me because of what happened on the tennis court."

"Sure!" Cream said. "I'll call you back later, Cosmo! Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye, Cream!" Cosmo said. She hung up the phone, then decided to see how Tails was doing.

He was still working on his latest invention, and talking to himself as he worked. "This should do it! Yeah! I think I've finally got it! Just a few more last minute adjustments, and…"

"What does this switch do, honey?" Cosmo asked, resting her hand on his invention.

"No! Tails cried, as Cosmo's hand accidentally bumped the switch.

The machine started to glow with emerald energy. "Tails!" Cosmo cried. "What have I done this time?"

"I was still adjusting it!" Tails cried, grabbing her and spinning his tails to get them away from the machine. "It's supposed to chaos control…"

There was a blinding flash. When it cleared, they could both see that they were…elsewhere.

"Tails?" Cosmo cried. "Is this where Chris lives?"

"No!" Tails said, looking around. "This looks like a desert!"

The flash had not been unnoticed.

"General Ross!" Major Glenn Talbot cried as he hurried towards his commanding officer, General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross."

"What is it, Major?" General Ross demanded. "Well, man , speak up!"

"Sir!" Major Talbot said. "There was a sudden release of an unknown type of energy not far from here!"

"We're hunting the Hulk, Major, not UFOs!"

"But sir, surveillance has picked up two figures in the desert. One of them is green!"

"Blast it, man! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"But, General! I tried!" Talbot said. But the general had already raced off. He hurried to follow him.

"Well!" General Ross demanded of his lead scientist. "Is it the Hulk?"

"This is going to sound crazy, General, but we seemed to have picked up…well, see for yourself, sir!"

"What is this?" General Ross demanded, looking through the scope the doctor had just indicated. "I never did like surpri…What the devil?!?"

"So I'm not imagining it, Sir?" the doctor asked. "You see them too?"

"What?" Major Talbot asked. "What is it, Sir?"

"Tell me what you see, Major!" General Ross demanded.

Major Talbot looked through the scope. "What the…?"

"Well?" the general said. "Come, come, man! Out with it! What does that look like to you?!"

"It's…well, it's a…some kind of dog-like creature, no, a fox! A fox with…two tails?! And with it is a…a little green girl?"

"Mutants!" General Ross cried. "Disgusting freaks, no doubt created by the same gamma bomb that turned my best scientist, Bruce Banner, into that monstrosity that calls itself the Hulk!"

"Wha-what do you want done about them, General?" Major Talbot asked.

"If there are two, then there are bound to be more!" General Ross said. "I want them captured immediately!"

"Yes, Sir!" Major Talbot said, saluting.

But Tails and Cosmo had no idea any of this was happening. Tails was trying to figure out how to fix his invention, which was smoking now.

"I'm so sorry, Tails!" Cosmo said.

"It's okay," Tails said. "I just need a few more minutes to…"

"Tails! What's that?!?" Cosmo asked, pointing. "You never told me anything like that was on Earth!"

"Huh?" Tails said, looking up from his work. "What do you…What IS that?!?"

What Cosmo had noticed was a huge green…something, rocketing through the sky. Tails looked up just as it landed in front of them. It was huge! About three times their height. Broader than Big the Cat or Doctor Eggman. Green in color. And looking very confused.

"Huh? This is crazy! Hulk thinks he sees little green girl and talking puppy dog!"

To be hulktinued!