In the Closet

Sequel to: Parental Revenge

Building A Family Series

One-shot

Written by: chochowilliams

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Summary: Building A Family series. Shuichi very nearly escaped death from the raving lunatic Scott Keene and the event traumatized Hiro. Can he find the comfort he so desperately needs?

Warning: romance, sexual situations, cheating, M/M, mentioned M/F, possible OOC, OCs

Pairings: Hiro/Suguru, mentioned Shuichi/Eiri, Hiro/Ayaka

Insert: "In the Closet" by Michael Jackson

A/N: This is the second fic in the Building a Family series. In order they are: "Parental Revenge", "In the Closet", "Give In To Me", "My Heart Beats Like A Drum", This I Promise You, Because of You, "Limelight".

oOo

Because There's Something
About You Baby
That Makes Me Want
To Give It To You
I Swear There's Something
About You Baby

Just Promise Me
Whatever We Say
Or Whatever We Do
To Each Other
For Now We'll Make A Vow
To Just
Keep It In The Closet

- "In the Closet" by Michael Jackson, Dangerous

oOo

That Night - Marriott Hotel - New York City

He'd come so close to losing his best friend tonight. It was not something he wanted to experience again. Never ever again. Those feelings of helplessness at not being able to do anything, of anger at that Keene bastard for thinking he could try for Shuichi and get away with it; those feelings were overwhelming. He never wanted to feel that way again. Once was enough to last several lifetimes and here it had happened twice.

Fate was a cruel triumvirate of sisters just as destiny was an equally cruel mistress. Why Shuichi seemed to be made to suffer was beyond him. It did not seem fair. He would gladly shoulder some or the entire burden if he could for his friend. Despite the time difference, he tried to get in contact with his wife. He needed the solace in her presence, even if it was only through the phone. He needed to wrap her voice around him. But the phone in their apartment just continued to ring.

"She must've gone to her parents," he decided, snapping his cellphone closed.

A knock sounded at his hotel door.

"Fujisaki," Hiro greeted as he swung open the door.

"Nakano-san."

Hiro stepped aside to allow Suguru inside. He shut the door behind him.

"How's Shindou-san?" Suguru asked as he settled down on the foot of the bed. He gripped the bedspread as he studied his bare feet against the beige carpet.

Hiro shrugged. He set his cellphone on the nightstand besides the bed. "He was fine when I left him with Yuki-san."

"Hm."

"Did you get in touch with Seguchi-san?"

"Yes. My cousin said he would take care of everything and that we shouldn't worry." Suguru risked a glance over his shoulder and found the guitarist staring out the window into the midnight view of New York City with his arms crossed over his chest. He appeared to be troubled. "He was able to make some calls and got a hot new band that Rage just signed with XMR Records to fill in for tonight. Our tour schedule was shuffled around so that tonight's concert could be rescheduled."

"That's good," Hiro mumbled quietly.

Suguru pushed to his feet. "Nakano-san-"

"Shu," Hiro interrupted as if he did not hear his young manager, "said he was all for doing the show tonight."

Suguru snorted. That sounded just like Shuichi. No thought for his own well-being or mental state after being assaulted and coming this close to being killed.

"He was worried about disappointing the fans."

"I hope you told him that he'd be no good to anyone after what happened here tonight until he was properly healed."

Hiro nodded once. His gaze was distant as he lost himself in the black metal and glass landscape. "He tried to argue that he was alright, but then Yuki-san slapped some sense into him." Quite literally. At least now, Shuichi and Eiri could spend a little time with their adopted son Riku while they were here in the city. To say the boy had been beside himself with worry would be an understatement when he arrived at the hospital and saw his mama's arm in a cast. Not that Hiro could blame him.

"Nakano-san-Hiro, are you alright?"

"Hm?" Hiro forced his gaze from the sight of the city that was still bustling even at this late hour. "I'm fine."

Suguru frowned. They both knew that was far from the case. Hiro had a tendency to ignore his own care and wellbeing over that of his best friend. Shuichi came first and always would. While on one hand it was admirable, it was stupid and foolhardy on the other. "Have you told Ayaka-san about what happened?"

"She wasn't home when I called." Hiro shifted his gaze to his cellphone. "She tends to go visit her parents when we're out of town."

"Did you try her there then? I think she should know what happened. I know I would." A rosy tint colored his cheeks when he heard what he just said. "I, uh, I mean you know how the press can get when something like this happens. She might think something happened to you."

Hiro snorted. "Yeah. Her parents would just love that. Then they could marry her off to some lawyer or doctor or something."

Suguru looked at Hiro sadly. "They still don't approve?"

"Why would they? I play in a rock band with the guy who broke up their daughter's betrothal to Yuki-san. Besides, the entertainment business is an unstable, unreliable profession. One minute you're at the top of the world and the next you're penniless and living on the street." Hiro shrugged. "They want their daughter to play the role of the dutiful housewife, but with us in the road as often as we are that's impossible." He barked out a laugh that did not sound happy. "Really, I think the problem is my association with Shu." Everything else was just an excuse.

No more need be said. Even now, Bad Luck was known more for the backstage antics and love life of one Shindou Shuichi than for their music.

Suguru couldn't blame Ayaka's family for not wanting their daughter to have anything to do with them. It was only natural for parents to be critical of their children's choices. He would do the same in their position. On the other hand, Hiro was a great guy and if the Usami's could not see that then that was their problem. So Hiro had long hair and was in a rock band. So Hiro's best friend was one Shindou Shuichi. So what? If Ayaka's parents could get over themselves long enough to jump down off their high horses and get to know their son-in-law, they would be able to see that there was so much more to Hiroshi. They would be able to see what their daughter saw…What he saw.

"I asked her to come on tour."

Suguru stiffened. "What?"

"She said no, of course."

Suguru breathed a sigh of relief. It was nothing against Ayaka. She was a smart, pretty and at times timid, but she has caused nothing but trouble for all of them since she appeared on the scene. He wished she would just go away. Far away.

"We got into it right before we left."

That wasn't anything new. Hiro and Ayaka seemed to be fighting a lot lately. Suguru wasn't sure how to feel about that. "What about?" he questioned, trying for nonchalant. He didn't think he pulled it off. Though, if Hiro noticed the odd tone to his voice, he said nothing.

Hiro snorted. "What else?" With a tired sigh, he collapsed onto the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

Hiro loved his wife, he really did; he has loved her ever since he first laid eyes on her. That was never going to change. Just like he still loved Shuichi. He never had the guts to tell his best friend about the deviant feelings he has harbored for him ever since he stumbled across him in the music room in middle school. Instead, he opted to remain his friend. The two of them were more close now then they could ever have been had he confessed to him. But those feelings were still there and they always would be. Just as his love for his wife would be. Though things lately between him and Ayaka have been rough. It all started when their relationship was leaked to the press. She did not care for the limelight. She hated it in fact. For someone like her who preferred her privacy, all the added stress of being a rock star's wife was beginning to become too much.

"They call me 'Nakano Hiroshi's wife' and not 'Nakano Ayaka'!" Ayaka's voice screamed through his head. "I can't go outside! I can't go to the corner market or to the florist! I can't go clothes shopping or get my hair done! I can't go anywhere or do anything!"

Hiro felt guilty for doing that to her, for making her a prisoner in her own home. He was used to it. He did not like it and would prefer not to have his private life on public display, but he had known about all the sacrifices he would have had to make when he started this band with Shuichi fifteen years ago. Unfortunately, Ayaka hadn't. All she did was fall in love with him. She hasn't asked for this. But at the same time, from a certain point of view, it could be said that she knew what she was getting herself into when she agreed to go out with him. Just like those married to doctors, lawyers, police officials or to those in the military.

"I love you, Hiro. I do! I love you so much and I love that you love what you do and I'm happy that you guys are so successful, but…"

He knew. His job has brought her nothing but hardship, trouble and heart ache. Because he loved her, because she was so dear to him, he felt bad that he was doing this to her.

"I hate it. I hate what my life has become! I hate that you're never home!"

"…Ayaka…"

"Even when you're in town, you're never home! You're a ring on my finger, Hiro! A picture on the wall! A dream! A memory! You're not real anymore!"

"Then come with us!"

He'd pleaded and begged with her. Eiri was always with them if Bad Luck was scheduled to be out of town for more than a few days. But then again, Eiri was a possessive, jealous bastard who couldn't seem to keep his hands (or anything else in fact) off Shuichi (or so Shuichi claimed) and he was an established, best-selling author. Ayaka did not really have any side hobbies or interests that would keep her busy while Hiro was off with the guys. That was why she declined to come. A new city every other day? Living out of suitcases and hotel rooms for months at a time? Besides, what would the difference be? Home with no husband or in a foreign country with no husband? It would be pointless.

Hiro felt like such a failure. As both a husband and a best friend. There was nothing he could have done to protect Shuichi. Not from that sourpuss bastard Aizawa Taki and not from Scott Keene. Just as he could do nothing to help ease the resentment that Ayaka felt about him being in a rock band. What good was he if he could not help those dearest to him?

Useless

Helpless.

"That's not true."

Hiro lifted his head. He was startled to discover Suguru kneeling before him. He hadn't even heard him cross the room.

Suguru lifted a hand and brushed away the tears that fell from Hiro's eyes. With a gentle smile on his face and a softened expression in his eyes, Suguru lightly grasped Hiro's arms. He stared up into those dark eyes gazing down at him and quickly found himself lost within their intensity.

"Fujisaki?"

"Don't sell yourself short, Hiro," Suguru told the older man. "You're not God. You can't do everything. You're only human after all. You, like me, like Shindou-san, like everyone else, can only do what you can. And that's more than enough."

A stray tear rolled down Hiro's cheek. Suguru rose up and kissed the salty droplet away.

Wide-eyed, Hiro stuttered in surprise.

"Shindou-san knows that. Just having you by his side, lending him an ear and a shoulder and every now and then the warmth of your arms and your bed. That's all he asks of you. To be there when he needs you."

"Fujisaki."

Suguru framed Hiro's face with his hands. He brought his head little by little towards Hiro until their lips were but a hairsbreadth apart. Their breath mingled in the air between them. Suguru's gaze shifted from the hypnotic hold the guitarist had on him to the thin lips parted before him. He ran his tongue along his lips. "Just as I am here for you," Suguru whispered. He pressed his lips against Hiro's.

Hiro gasped.

Taking full advantage of the opportunity, Suguru slipped his tongue inside the moist cavern of Hiro's mouth. He deepened the kiss. He'd waited so long for this. So very long. It was low of him to take advantage of his friend when he was in such an unstable set of mind, but he did not care.

Hiro's tense body started to relax into the kiss. His eyes fluttered closed. He reached down and pulled Suguru into his arms. As they exchanged a multitude of kisses, deep and passionate, shallow and chaste, they wrapped their arms around each other and held one another close. Hiro gently laid Suguru onto the bed and rained a blazing trail of kisses from his mouth up the line of his jaw to his ear and then down his throat. He lightly touched Suguru's collarbone where it peeked out from under his shirt.

The gold band on Hiro's left ring finger gleamed in the light from the lamp on the bedside table as the room filled with their mingled cries and wanton moans.

oOo

The Next Afternoon - En Route

Their tour bus rattled and shook as it sped down the interstate to their next destination.

Suguru lifted his gaze from the itinerary on the table before him and snuck a glance at Hiro who was sitting on the couch across the aisle from him. The guitarist had his ankle resting on his opposite knee as he strummed an unfamiliar tune on his brand new limited edition Esteban guitar. His long reddish-brown hair was tied back in a ponytail. The jeans he wore were not too tight, but not too loose either. A black short-sleeved t-shirt that read, "Not Mom's Favorite" in white lettering across the front stretched across his chest. It was a shirt that he picked up in some tourist souvenir shop.

At the same shop, Shuichi bought the young manager a shirt that said, "I never make mistakes" and underneath that it said, "I thought I did once, but I was mistaken".

"It's perfect for you, Fujisaki," Shuichi told him when he handed him the shirt.

"What the hell does that mean?!"

Shuichi had just giggled and skipped off to give Eiri his shirt. Suguru wondered what his said. Probably something like, "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" Suguru chuckled lightly. Or maybe something like, "Let's play carpenter! First we get hammered, then I nail you." If it had been up to him, Suguru would have chosen, "You should come with a warning label," because Shuichi should come with one.

"What's so funny, Suguru?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, nothing," Suguru said, blushing deeply. He dropped his gaze.

Booming laughter exploded from the back of the tour bus.

"They're having fun," Hiro commented.

Suguru winced as he heard Shuichi whine. He must have lost. Suguru had no idea how Eiri stood it. He would have gone insane a long time ago. In fact, he was sure he had. "How can he play video games after nearly getting his arm cut off?"

"He's Shuichi."

Enough said.

Silence settled between them. Suguru tried to concentrate on the paperwork before him, but he was acutely aware of the man not more than five feet from him. Those same fingers that fingered the cords on the guitar had played him over and over again just the night before. His blush blazed hotly as he remembered just how well their concierto had gone. They had both received standing ovations. Those lips that moved wordlessly had tasted every inch of him. Just remembering how sweetly they had made love sent his heart racing. Not to mention his pants were beginning to feel a bit on the restricted side.

Then as quickly as his arousal was brought to life, it died a quicker death as he caught sight of the wedding band on Hiro's left ring finger.

Last night, he and Hiro made love until the sun rose. It was something Suguru had dreamed of for so long now. He did not know when his feelings for his friend changed, but when he became aware of them, they snowballed out of control. What happened last night could never happen again. Hiro was married. He had a wife at home. Hiro and he had to stay friends. Just friends. Last night had to remain nothing more than a memory.

"Sug?"

Suguru's head snapped up. "Huh?" A wet spot appeared on Bad Luck's itinerary sheet.

"Suguru! What's wrong?" Suddenly worried about his friend, Hiro set his guitar down beside him.

"Nothing," Suguru sobbed.

Scrambling across the aisle, and nearly losing his balance in the process, Hiro slid into the booth next to Suguru and cupped his cheek with his hand. His thumb brushed away a tear as it rolled down the younger man's face.

Suguru leaned into the warm touch of Hiro's hand against his clammy skin. He sniffled as his tears continued to flow. Sadness welled up within him. He did not want it to end, but he knew it had. For both of their sakes as well as for the band.

"What's this for, huh?"

Not trusting his voice, Suguru shook his head as he cried silently.

Hiro could hear the others in the back arguing.

Hiro hugged his forbidden lover tightly. This time yesterday, he never would have imagined he and Suguru would take such a drastic and unexpected turn in their relationship. He knew it was wrong. Last night never should have happened. This right now shouldn't be happening. He was married. He loved his wife. He wanted to make a life with her, but… This felt so right. Holding Suguru in his arms. Kissing him. Touching him. Making love to him. Lying next to him. Waking up next to him. Falling asleep with him besides him. It made no sense. He shouldn't feel this pull, this ache, this longing for this man. What did it mean?

Suguru buried his damp face in Hiro's chest. Gripping fistfuls of the black cotton t-shirt, he sobbed silently. He hated this. He really hated this. He was in love with Nakano Hiroshi. He wanted to feel Hiro's lips against his, feel the press of his flesh against his. He wanted to lose himself in the hypnotic sensation of being rocked and held tightly, but oh, so gently in those strong arms. He wanted Hiro to hold him and never let go. He wanted to hear Hiro whisper, "I love you" in his ear. He wanted…He wanted Hiro. All of him. Not just his body, but his soul as well as his heart. He wanted Hiro to want him.

"I don't understand this," Hiro whispered.

"What?" Suguru pulled away from Hiro.

A pang jolted through Hiro's heart at the dejected expression on Suguru's face. "Sug." He started to reach out, but a sudden clatter drew their attention. Coming towards them from the back of the bus was Michael, Kei and Kai. "Guys?"

"I'd, uh, turn on the radio if I were you," Michael suggested as he flopped down onto the couch Hiro had vacated.

Kei and Kai chuckled.

"Why?" Hiro asked.

"Real loud," Kei added.

Suguru narrowed his eyes. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"Uh…"

Michael and the Shiro twins exchanged looks.

"Yuki kicked us out."

"Why-?"

"Oh! Ei~ri!"

The five men turned red.

Clearing his throat, Michael quickly stumbled his way to the radio while Kei and Kai burst out laughing. Lady Gaga drowned out the sounds of Shuichi and Eiri's love making.

Mortified, Suguru turned his attention to the paperwork that he should have finished by now. Part of him was curious how someone whose arm was in a sling could be so exuberant in bed. The other part was horrified at the pictures that question conjured up.

"Maybe Shu should've gotten his own bus," Kei was saying to his brother.

"Yeah," Kai laughed.

Nothing ever surprised him when it came to his best friend. Once you have known Shuichi as long as he has, you learn to expected the unexpected.

Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Hiro felt his face fall as he took in the young manager's eyes that were red from crying. In all the years he has known Suguru, this was a first. He hadn't even been aware that Suguru could cry. Guess he was human after all. If he did not feel the crushing weight of guilt, that fact would have been funny, but just the knowledge that it was he who had caused Suguru to expose a side of him that he had not shown to any of them was enough to make him cry right along with him. Crossing his arms over the top of the table, Hiro leaned forward and dipped his head towards Suguru. "I don't know where we go from here," he admitted, "but I do know that last night…"

Here it comes, Suguru cringed.

"…was not a mistake."

Suguru froze. Slowly, he sat up. "…What?"

Hiro lightly bumped shoulders with Suguru.

Tears filled Suguru's already red eyes. He ducked his head to hide the relief that he was sure was written all over his face.

Hiro did not know what would become of him and Suguru. What did the future hold for them? What about Ayaka? He wasn't sure, but he was game to find out.

…The End…

Preview: Next in the Building A Family series is the two-shot, "Give in To Me".