ROUND 1

FIGHT!

Scorpion vs. Liu Kang.

"Come on, Kang, give me your best shot!"

"I'll kick your hot, skeletal ass back to hell with my bicycle kick!"

(Weird bicycle kick battle cry, Scorpion ducks out of the way)

"Ha, that's your best shot? Get over here!"

(Launches spear at Liu Kang, Liu jumps over it)

"Hey, wait, hold on a minute."

"What?! We're supposed to be killing each other!"

"Why, though? I don't even know you, man! Why are we attacking each other?"

"Uh…so I can avenge my family and--"

"Yea, I got that, but I'm not the one that did that. Are you really going to kill me for something I didn't do?"

"But I have to kill you to move up the list!"

"For what? To kill a few more people before you even reach Sub-Zero, who'll probably just freeze and break you…again?"

(Announcer groans)

LIU, SHUT UP AND FIGHT!

"Hey, up yours, Tsung! We're having a nice civilized conver--!"

(Scorpion punches Liu in the face, Liu glares at him)

"You asshole! ANIMALITY!"

(Liu turns into a dragon and eats Scorpion)

LIU KANG, the pansy, WINS

ROUND 2

FIGHT!

(Scorpion reappears and gets in a fighting stance)

"You…you killed me! You almost ruined my plight!"

"Yea, and you punched me in the face when I was trying to help you!"

"I just want to win!"

"That's not cool, man!"

OH, PLEASE! WILL YOU WHINEY LITTLE BITCHES SHUT UP AND KILL EACH OTHER ALREADY?!

(Scorpion and Liu Kang look at each other)

"I have a better idea."

"Me too."

"Hey, Sub-Zero! Truce?"

(Sub-Zero walks in)

"I take it you guys are skipping the rest of the list?"

(Liu groans)

"What list? Shang Tsung is, and always has been, in the back room! The list was just there so we'd know who to maim next!"

(Scorpion and Sub-Zero look at each other and shake hands. All three head for back room)

NO, WAIT…I WAS JUST KIDDING WHEN I CALLED YOU WHINEY…NO, PLEASE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Microphone squeaks. Liu Kang clears his throat)

"Ahem…FATALITY."

Next Time: Sonya Blade vs. Kano!

"Oh, come on! Your eye shoots lasers now?!"