TOW The Past Isn't At Rest – Epilogue

"I Could Not Ask For More"

AN:  I came very close to not posting this at all – and just letting the story end with Monica saying yes.  But…I went ahead and wrote this, so I decided to post it even if I did want to just let it end.  So be forgiving! 

Monica pulled into the carport and wearily turned off the ignition.  Chandler had left the garage light on to welcome her, and she knew that when she opened the door to the house, the kitchen would be well lit as well.  He knew how much she hated coming home to a dark house.  

            She unlocked the door and stepped inside, laying her keys on the table.  She cast a quick glance around the kitchen to make sure he had cleaned up after dinner, and smiled when all she saw were spotless white counters.  He'd even loaded the dishwasher. 

            "Chandler?  Honey, where are you?"

            No answer.  That meant only one thing.  She smiled and headed for the stairs, turning off the lights as she went so they wouldn't have to come back downstairs.  She headed straight for Emma's room and found exactly what she expected.  Her husband and daughter were lying side by side in the bed, both asleep.  A book was lying closed on Chandler's chest, suggesting that he had indeed finished the story and decided to lie there with his sleeping daughter for awhile – and then fallen asleep himself. 

            Monica smiled as she gazed at them, knowing that if she had no other reason to love Chandler, just seeing him like this with Emma would be enough.  She walked over to the bed, making sure her 3-½ year old daughter was covered and looked comfortable.  After kissing her forehead, Monica rose from Emma's side of the bed and walked over to kneel beside Chandler. 

            "Hey sleepyhead," she whispered fondly, ruffling his hair to wake him up as she kissed him lightly.  Chandler moaned and shifted before slowly opening his eyes and looking up at her.  He smiled lazily and reached out to rub her arm.

            "Hey…how was work?"

            "Okay…I hate working late, though.  I miss the whole evening with you and Emma."

            "We missed you too…"  Chandler sat up slowly and leaned over to kiss Emma on the cheek before he stood up and reached for Monica, his face concerned.  "Tired?" 

            "A little," she admitted, trying to look more awake than she felt.  She wanted to spend some time with Chandler before they went to sleep, and she knew he would insist on rest if she let on just how tired she really was.  Hoping to avoid more questions, she gestured pointedly at their sleeping daughter, kissing her good night one last time before leading Chandler to their room next door so they wouldn't disturb her.  As soon as the door was closed behind them, Monica wrapped her arms around Chandler, lifting her face for his welcoming kiss.  Chandler smiled at her, then pulled back so he could study her face.

            "Are you hungry?  I'll make you dinner…"

            "No, I'm fine – I ate on my break.  All I want right now is some clothes that don't smell like an Italian restaurant and my husband."

            Chandler hugged her more tightly in response, kissing the top of her head as she leaned against him. 

            "I think that can be arranged…"

            Monica pulled back and ran her hands through his hair, letting them rest at the nape of his neck. 

"Let me take a quick shower and then I'm yours.  Okay?"

            "Okay."  Chandler watched his wife walk into the bathroom - pulling her hair up into a bun as she went - and listened for the sound of the shower starting before he changed into his boxers and an old NYU t-shirt and stretched out on the bed to wait for her.  He reached idly for the picture that rested on his bedside table, and smiled as his eyes fell on the familiar image.  His wedding day.  He could remember it so vividly – the rush of nerves when Ross grinned and told him it was time…his beautiful daughter preceding Monica down the aisle, her terrified face making everyone smile…the shock that went through his whole body when Monica appeared at the back of the church, her eyes meeting his instantly and the look of love and happiness on her face expelling any fears he had.  It had been perfect.  Absolutely romantic in every way.

            Chandler looked up as Monica walked out of the bathroom – one of his old t-shirts hanging loosely on her body – and held out one arm to her as he sat up and leaned against the headboard.  She came to him willingly and settled into his arms, smiling when she noticed the picture in his hands.  

            "Can you believe it'll be two years in a couple of months?"

            "The most amazing two years of my life."

            "Mine too…"

            Chandler put the picture back on the table and laid down, pulling Monica with him and wrapping his arms securely around her.  Monica turned her head to kiss him deeply and Chandler returned the kiss, smiling against her lips as he slowly slid his hands under the hem of the t-shirt Monica was wearing so he could rub her stomach gently.             

            "When do you think we should tell Emma?"

            Monica sighed and closed her eyes, enjoying Chandler's caresses. 

            "I don't know…maybe we should wait until I'm showing and she starts asking why Mommy's getting fat and ugly."

            "You won't be fat and ugly, sweetheart, you'll be pregnant and beautiful.  And…you are showing."

            "I am not.  I was wearing tight jeans and a tank top this morning and even I couldn't tell.  It's just your imagination."

            "No, really, you are."  Chandler pulled her shirt up to reveal her bare – and flat - abdomen and stroked it lightly.  "See, there's a bump…right there."  He kissed her stomach for good measure, and grinned up at her.  "That's our baby."

            Monica smiled at the boyish grin on his face.  She still thought that whatever he thought he was seeing was just wishful thinking, but she was glad he was so happy.  They were both excited. 

            "Sweetie, you know it doesn't count if I have to be naked for you to tell." 

Chandler smiled, and moved back up to lay beside her, kissing her gently on the neck as he put his arms back around her and pulled her against him. 

"I don't know who told you that – anything that involves you being naked counts for me."

            "I think we established that a long time ago, honey," Monica told him with a smile, shifting her position so that her head rested against his heart, their hands joined together over the spot where there baby - according to Chandler – was beginning to make an appearance.  She listened to the slow and steady rhythm of his heart for a minute, feeling calmness spread over her as a result of the reassuring sound. 

            "Do you think we'll have a boy or a girl?"

            "A boy," Chandler answered without hesitation.  Monica looked up at him, surprised by his confidence. 

            "Really?  What makes you so sure?"

            "I don't know…just a feeling, I guess.  What do you think it'll be?"

            Monica smiled.  "I think it's a boy, too," she admitted.

            "You know it's going to be a girl now, just to spite us."

            "So you think this is going to be our "rebellious" child?"

            "Depends on how much of your stubbornness he inherits."

            "Funny, Bing.  You better keep in mind that you're dealing with a moody pregnant woman here.  I could kill you, blame it on hormones, and probably get away with it."

            Chandler laughed and kissed her on the forehead. 

            "I love your stubbornness, babe.  It just makes you passionate.  But I must admit I'm glad Emma's a little more easy-going.  That personality trait is a lot more attractive in a wife than a child."

            Monica accepted this without comment, and they were quiet for a few minutes until Chandler spoke again.

            "Did you think Emma was going to be a girl?"

            Monica heard the slight note of sadness in his voice, and knew exactly what he was thinking.  She'd seen it in his eyes several time over the past few days, and had wondered if he was going to bring it up.  All of the excitement and planning and late night talks about the new baby only reminded both of them that he hadn't been there for this when she was pregnant with Emma.

            "Yeah…I knew she was going to be a girl.  There wasn't a doubt in my mind."

            Chandler nodded, one hand stroking her hair gently. 

            "Did you ever…wonder what I would think?  If I had been there for you to ask?"

            "Every night…" Monica whispered, hoping her answer wouldn't make him feel worse, but knowing they both needed to be honest about this.  There was another pause before Chandler spoke again.

            "Did you resent me?  Because I wasn't there?"

            "No…I wished you were with me every day, but I never resented you.  You had your reasons.  I certainly understood that."

            "I would have resented me…I never realized how much I missed while you were pregnant with her…until now.  I'm sorry that I wasn't there.  I'm sorry you didn't have me to share all of this with."

            "It wasn't your fault, baby.  You didn't know…"

            "I'm not sure that's an excuse, but I can't help it now.  All I can do is promise that I will never leave you again…that I will be here to watch both of our children grow up with you, to hold you in my arms every night, to kiss you each morning when you open your eyes…and to love you every day for the rest of our lives."

            "That sounded like wedding vows," Monica stated with a smile, squeezing his hand to let him know how much his words meant to her.  "But I promise you all of the same things.  And Chandler, I don't want you to ever think that you've let me down or disappointed me.  You make me so happy…"

            Chandler kissed her gently, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers. 

            "You make me happy, too, Mon.  And I want to thank you for making me a husband and a father… not just physically but emotionally too.  I don't think I could have done it with anyone but you.  I love you so much."

            "Oh, sweetie.  I love you too.  I'm glad we're having another baby together."

            "Me too.  So what are we going to call this one?"

"Well, I think that will depend a lot on whether it's a boy or a girl."

"You know, if it happens to be another girl, we can call her Caroline."

"Caroline?  That's pretty.  I never knew you liked that name."

"Well, I thought we could continue our trend of naming them "after" Ross's ex-wives.  "Emma" is for Emily, "Caroline" can be for Carol.  Then the next girl can be…what sounds like Rachel?"

"Sweetie, let's not go that route.  I think that will involve having to have far more children than we really want if we have a daughter for each of Ross's wives."

'Yeah, you're right.  Plus, after we named one for Rachel, we'd have to name one for Phoebe or she would get upset and claim she was being discriminated against because she hadn't married Ross."

"Yeah, let's not get into politics with Phoebe.  That can be dangerous.  Besides, we just agreed that we think this one's a boy."

"Right.  So we can rule out Ross and Joseph so we don't have to worry about the other getting jealous, as well as Richard, Pete, Ethan, Bobby, Julio, and the name of every other guy you've ever dated.  Especially Richard."

"I don't know, babe.  I kind of like Julio.  Julio Bing."

"If you did that to our child, you would be even worse than my parents."

"I didn't suggest middle-naming him Muriel…"

"And you won't suggest it either.  And I know you're going to eventually go on a "Jr." kick, so I'll tell you now that our son will not be named Chandler.  No negotiating."

"Boy, you're strict.  So what do you suggest, Mr. Bing?"

"I suggest that we get some sleep, since Emma will have both of us up early in the morning and you and our baby need your rest.  Besides," he paused and kissed her softly.  "We still have months to decide, even if it is fun to talk about it now."

"Okay, if you insist," Monica agreed with a yawn, suddenly remembering how tired she was.  She lifted herself up to turn off the lamp beside them, then kissed him good night before settling down in the comfort of his arms. 

"Good night, baby.  Love you."

"I love you, too, sweetie."  He pulled himself out from under her just enough to kiss her stomach.  "Both of you.  Sweet dreams."

"You too," Monica murmured before she dropped off to sleep.  Chandler listened to her even breathing for awhile, then finally closed his eyes.  Emma would be bouncing on their bed to wake them up in just a few hours, much more anxious for them to get up and start a new day than he would be.  But even as he dropped off to sleep, he couldn't help looking forward to it…waking up with his wife and unborn child in his arms and his daughter grinning at him with blue eyes so much like her mother's…

He finally had the life he'd always dreamed about – even when he was afraid his dreams would never come true.  He had everything he'd ever wanted, everything that mattered, all in the house with him at that moment.  There was nothing left for him to wish for.

The END!!!!  For real this time. 

"I Could Not Ask For More"

Edwin McCain

Lying here with you, listening to the rain

Smiling just to see the smile upon your face

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive

These are the moments I'll remember all my life

I've found all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes, seeing all I need

Everything you are is everything to me

These are the moments I know Heaven must exist

These are the moments I know all I need is this

I have all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together

I could not ask for more than this time with you

Every prayer has been answered

Every dream I've had's come true

Right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be

Oh, here with you, here with me…

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive

These are the moments I'll remember all my life

I've got all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together

I could not ask for more than this time with you

Every prayer has been answered

Every dream I've had's come true

Right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be

Here with you, here with me…

I could not ask for more than the love you give me

'Cause it's all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more…

And I could not ask for more…