Title: This Frenzied State [9/?]
Rating: M
Genre: Drama/romance
Pairing: Axel/Roxas (AU)
Warnings: Abuse of miscellaneous Final Fantasy characters. Seriously. Any mischaracterization is obviously all my fault.
Summary: When Roxas stands on the edges of buildings, he tries to see into some eternity. When Axel stands on the edges of buildings, he tries to see how he'd survive a fourteen floor fall.

Author's Notes: I'm just going to stop making excuses now.

A lot of you guessed where they were going which made me smile, but nobody got it right. THAT'S RIGHT, I TRICKED ALL OF YOU. No, I'm totally kidding. I hope where they end up at isn't disappointing after all those answers. I think this is the longest part so far. I also think I say that for every other one. Hmm.

"THROUGH THE LOOP, DARLING, THE LOOP, WILL YOU HELP YOUR FRIEND PLEASE, HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE HAS ANY CLUE WHAT'S DOING, SUCH A CUTE ONE TOO, GOOD JOB GRANDKID."

Roxas, at first, had felt very odd letting Axel accompany him to the nursing home. He'd had a feeling though, very pleasant and matter of fact, that this would potentially be okay and that it was the right thing to do. Vexen hadn't found him yet—he wasn't sure if Vexen was even here, being it so late on a Friday—and threatened to tell the court about his bringing a stranger into the grounds. And when Misty had set eyes on Axel and not stopped talking to him ever since, Roxas knew he had done the right thing. He sat back smugly in the chair, using his crochet hooks idly, enjoying the most uninterrupted time he'd ever gotten here. Occasionally Misty would bark orders at him to help Axel with his own crochet hooks, or Axel would shoot him desperate, helpless glances (to which Roxas would only glare in a very superior fashion), but for the most part, he was doing nothing that required thinking and that was a grand thing indeed.

Now, though, he leaned forward to help straighten out the line that Axel was working on. He'd had a fine chain down and he had wanted to go on with a chain forever, but Misty had insistently yelled at him until he'd been browbeaten into looping it up. It had taken him a few minutes, but he had figured it out and his long, thin fingers had taken to moving pretty quickly, working their way down to the other end. Misty had set him on a very simple patterned blanket and he could potentially have it done in a few days, but right now the whole thing was getting crooked, so Roxas untangled it and handed it back without saying a word while Misty went on and on about how cute they were. He ignored the most obvious innuendo in her voice, but Axel's faced had reddened a little as he obliged her nonsensical ramblings.

He probably felt bad for her, Roxas reckoned. She did look, after all, very old and senile. He wasn't out of that stage yet. He didn't realize how evil she really was. Roxas knew better.

"So tell me again where you two met?"

Axel's sigh was very nearly inaudible as he said, quite loudly and cheerfully, "In a park! I was walking my cat and Roxas was just strolling through the petunias and we ran into each other and decided to have a picnic. We then saved two small children from a very touchy ice cream vendor and then proceeded on to stop a bank robbery using only the powers of our minds. After that we decided to instigate world peace and save the world from meteor showers by redirecting the rays from the sun the opposite direction. After that we walked on the moon. It was a great first date."

A pause, and then Misty said, "I thought it was in Alaska where you were stopping outlaw oil supremacists from killing cute baby foxes for their fur."

"Oh, yea, that was in there too, don't worry about it. It was a great first date."

Roxas was quite content to sit there and say absolutely nothing and fantasize about the lock this place had on the door. The electric current one, he'd already thought about. But maybe there was a utility ladder somewhere.

"Well that's good," Misty was saying, positively beaming now. "It's absolutely wonderful you two are in love. I mean, it happens so rarely these days! And I just want my grandkid to be happy!" Her tone turned very serious. "Hear that, Axel? I just want my grandkid to be happy. If you break his heart I'll break your spleen."

"I wasn't aware that could be broken," Roxas interjected mildly.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU GRANDKID; GO BACK TO YOUR PINK BLANKET. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME IT WAS FOR THIS STRAPPING YOUNG GENTLEMAN HERE. I WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU MAKE IT LOOK NOT SO CROOKED AND LIKE A TWELVE YEAR OLD MADE IT. OH WELL. Anyway, Axel," she continued, lowering her voice and turning seriously back to him, "Like I said. I'll break your spleen if you break my grandkid's heart. I'm trusting this to you! He doesn't have much left in this world, understand? Don't you see how sad he is?"

Roxas looked up, narrowing his eyes.

"I do," Axel replied, solemnly.

"Good, I know I'm not the only one then. I mean, doesn't he just look like a sad little pumpkin to you?"

"Yes," Axel agreed, not looking at Roxas. "It's his eyes that give it away."

Misty nodded enthusiastically. "See, grandkid, look, he knows! You chose yourself a good one right here! Now, I don't know why he's so sad, I mean, he's got me and you, but—"

"Lots of reasons to be sad. Maybe something with his mom," Axel suggested.

Roxas's heart beat a little faster, and his chest tightened.

"Well, whatever the case, that's no reason to be unhappy all the time! You fix him up Axel! Fix him up right! Take care of him! I can count on you, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. Don't worry, nothing bad'll happen to him on my watch." Axel turned back to look at Roxas, and his eyes were smiling, more than his mouth was. Roxas did his best to smile back, but he wondered why Misty had never said anything. She'd treated him with nothing but… well, nothing but shortness and flirtations and jealousy and sometimes pure joy. Such was the life of one in such an institution, he guessed. But why had she never said anything about this supposed sadness? He didn't get it.

"Good," she said happily, sighing contently as she settled back into her bed now. "Good for you. Now, it's getting close to my bedtime. So, I want you both to go out and be happy! Will I be seeing more of you, Axel?"

There was an awkward silence, and then Axel said, just as cheerfully, "I'm going back to Brooklyn on Sunday. I live there, I just came to visit my darling Roxie for a bit." He cast a dazzling smile on Roxas and Roxas nearly shredded him to bits with the daggers from his eyes. "And he always mentioned how lovely you were so he brought me to visit you. When I come back to visit, I'll come see you," he said, reassuringly, when she looked a little put out.

"A long distance relationship can cause trouble," she said, a little darkly, and then brightened. "But I'm sure you two work it out just marvelously! Come here now Axel, give me a hug, you're part of the family now! Anyone my grandkid loves is fine with me!"

The smile as Axel went forward, hugging Misty in a mighty gigantic hug that made Roxas's little one arm grimaces look bad. He went forward obligingly anyway, putting an arm around her and a kiss on his cheek, and then stood back, running a hand through his hair. Now what? It was pretty early, only about seven, but her dinner would be in very soon and then she'd fall asleep not soon after. What about them?

Naminé, he thought, I need to go and see Naminé.

It occurred to him that he hadn't talked to her since he had seen her at her art show the previous day. Hadn't texted or called or anything. He didn't like when she fussed over him, so it was probably why she hadn't called or texted to see how he was doing. That was his daily duty. He'd forgotten. Granted, he'd had a good reason to forget, but it was still inexcusable. He'd hear hell for it as soon as he saw her again.

"I'll have this blanket finished next time I'm here," Axel was saying, carefully stowing the yarn and the crochet needle in his backpack.

Misty was beaming. "I expect it from you! Goodbye dear, goodbye Roxas, see you in a few days! You hang onto that one, grandkid! He's quite the keeper!"

"Yes, grandmother," Roxas sighed, and they left the room, heading toward the receptionist station.

"She seems like a pretty cool old bat," Axel said, shouldering his backpack. "Kind of off her rocker, but I guess that's to be expected, right? Sort of senile?"

Roxas cast him a dark glance. "No. Trust me. Misty is evil."

The look was more than dubious. "That sweet old lady? You're on cocaine."

"I wish," Roxas muttered, as they approached the station. Axel signed out and Roxas retrieved his skateboard and they started toward the exit. "No, she's evil, Axel. She is not innocent or sweet. She is pure, unadulterated, devilishly evil. She merely acts that way to weasel her way into your heart. Don't let her fool you. It'll only lead to your destruction."

Axel made a derisive, snorting noise. "Like I said, cocaine. Come on, she's—"

"Roxas."

"Oh shit," was all he had time to say before Vexen had swooped in on them, glaring at Axel and looking accusingly at Roxas.

"What's this? You brought someone to see Misty?"

He shuffled his feet, letting the tail end of his skateboard hit the ground. "Uh, yea. This is my friend, Axel. Axel, this is Dr. Vexen. Dr. Vexen, this is Axel. He wanted to come and see Misty and Misty was pretty thrilled to—"

"Any visits from anyone other than our community service people need to be approved." Vexen's face was long and angular, and right now it looked like the spot above his right eye was twitching sporadically. Roxas was used to it, but he hoped, oh he hoped, that Axel had the pretense of mind to not stare. Probably not, Axel was an idiot, but he didn't dare glance over. "You know this."

While he coughed to disguise his lack of an answer and his brain searching frantically for something acceptable, Axel stepped in smoothly, saying, "I'm sorry, this is my fault. Roxas very clearly told me the rules but he's told me so many nice things about Misty that I wanted to come and visit her. I just came to visit a few friends, Roxas here included, and it was a short notice trip. And she was very nice. Your facility is also very lovely, very nice."

When he saw how the twitching in Vexen's face increased, Roxas wanted to take Axel aside and shake him, and keep shaking him until his teeth rattled out of his mouth and he could no longer open his mouth to speak. He was sure he'd get endorsements from others about that, too. For the good of all mankind.

"That's very nice of you, Axel," Vexen said, still very venomously, "but rules are rules and it is Roxas's responsibility to follow them. Roxas, I'll be reporting to the court about this."

"Yes, sir," Roxas sighed, and Vexen glared at him and Axel once more for good measure, and then stalked off in the other direction. "Come on, let's go," he muttered to Axel as soon as Vexen was out of earshot, and he hotfooted it out, casting a flippant glance at the building across from the entrance of the nursing home; it was only three stories up.

Come on now, saving space was supposed to be in these days. Why was it these buildings seemed all perpetually short when he needed them to be tall?

"The court?" Axel asked, when they had gotten a few feet away from the entrance and were starting to head back toward Roxas's apartment.

"Eh, yea. I do community service here."

"Did you at least do something fun, like vandalize some cool old statue? Don't tell me you just did something silly like jaywalked. That's not what real men do."

Roxas pulled out his cell phone. "Eh, you could say something like that. To the first part, I mean."

"Well, as long as it was brave and manly, then you're good to go dude." They continued on a few steps, and then Axel said, in a voice that was tinged with guilt, "Sorry, man. I didn't know it was going to get you in trouble. I would have gotten myself into something else if I had known."

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, they don't listen to what that idiot has to say anyway. They know he's full of it."

There was an uncomfortable nod while Roxas texted something, and then Axel went on, a little more jovially, "But yea, she was a cool old bird. At least you get to hang out with her all day and not some guy who can barely talk."

"Yea, god knows what my life would be like if it were full of people who didn't talk," Roxas snorted, the implication clear.

It only made Axel smirk, and he said, "Boring, I promise. Who're you texting? Demyx off work yet?"

Roxas nodded absently, reading Naminé's reply. "Yea, he is. It's not him though, it's my friend." He trailed off, unsure of what to say. He wanted to see Naminé alone, because he didn't trust this fool with her, but for some reason he felt responsible now for Axel. After all, Axel had been trailing him around all day. To kick the dog to the curb was cruel.

He cleared his throat, and then said, "Uh, well, I need to go see my friend, her name's Naminé. Do you… want to come? Or you can text Demyx I guess. Or your aunt… it's up to you."

Axel mulled it over for a second. "Eh, my aunt hasn't gotten back to me yet… do you mind if I stick around with you? If you do don't worry, I can take care of myself," he added hastily, as though he were afraid of being branded some sort of dependant needy boy.

It was what he probably was, exactly, but they weren't going there.

He shrugged. "No, you can come, we're going to eat. Come on."

__

The girl in front of him had taken one look at him (more specifically, at his neck), then at Roxas, and decided they were going to be best friends. There was something more than possessive in the way she had sat down next to Roxas in the booth, blocking Axel from sliding in next to him. Axel, for his part, hadn't had any intentions of that and slid in on the other side, pushing his long legs out from underneath the table, so they strayed into aisle awkwardly but he hoped that nobody tripped over them and died. That would be… hilarious.

Roxas propped the menu up, much like he had back in the café earlier in the day, and busied himself in that. Naminé seemed to know what she wanted, because she set the menu down delicately and sipped some water, all the while surveying Axel not so very subtly. He didn't know whether to make a face at her or just take it, so instead he propped his menu up like Roxas had, and cowered behind that. Like a real man, yes.

"So where did you two meet?" Her voice was pleasant, but Axel could hear the prying undercurrents. Maybe she was Roxas's sister? They both had the blonde hair and blue eyes, though hers was more ashy than dirty. Or… or maybe she was some scorned lover. Hadn't Demyx said something about some girl who had once been obsessed with Roxas and brought him flowers at his work? He couldn't remember her name—he had a hard time remembering anything from that night, really—but what if this was her and Roxas was only bringing him around her to show him that he had protection should Axel decide to get sneaky? There could certainly be a demon lurking behind those innocent blue lenses. She looked like a succubus. Innocent and beautiful and sucking your soul out of your mouth all at the same time.

"Through Demyx," Axel volunteered, still safely shielded from her gaze behind the menu. "I'm Demyx's friend from uh... work."

"So that means you work with Roxas too?"

He frowned at the red curry at her use of the present tense. Had Roxas not told her? He spared a guarded look from behind the menu but he only met another stained brown menu. Great. He realized he didn't even have Roxas's phone number. At least he was living up to his one night stand title admirably.

"No," came Roxas's muffled voice. "Demyx met him through work and I met him last night at Demyx's party."

"Have a good time?"

It was probably a good thing they were both hidden behind their respective menus. Axel wasn't sure he could have kept a straight face.

"Yea, it was okay," Axel answered, deciding to take the lead and steer the conversation in another direction. "Demyx and Xigbar are fun. Nice people. And what about you two, where'd you two meet?"

"Ninth grade," Naminé said, and he heard her tapping her fingernails against the countertop restlessly. "We lived in Tourton, which isn't too far away from here, and then Roxas moved here with his mom about three years ago. She moved to Brooklyn to be near her doctor after he graduated and when I graduated I moved here."

"This is a nice place," Axel said eagerly, dropping the menu, seizing on something he could compliment her about. It had been Reno's most top lesson throughout their entire lives: flattery got a person everywhere, particularly with women. He took Naminé for a more salt of the earth type, who would be better off being praised for her city and upbringing more than being praised for the way her earrings looked. "Very nice, very cozy. I grew up in Los Angeles and moved out here like three years ago. Not here, I mean, but Brooklyn. This place is nice though, a lot nicer than the city. Very clean, very fresh. Don't get that much these days, am I right? Especially not in the city. I mean, you'd have to go like twenty miles away to get such clean air like this! It's almost like being in some magical forest wonderland, it really is."

Naminé didn't say anything and Axel fidgeted uncomfortably, unsure of what he'd said that had been wrong. Maybe he should have compared it to heaven, or Canada, or something, because maybe comparing it to a magical forest wonderland had somehow offended her. He forgot, he was trying to respect and give due to her intelligence and stature and maturity and a magical forest wonderland was probably not what she wanted to be complimented on. It was childish. Great. Great.

"He always talks that much Nami," he heard Roxas say then, as the kid dropped his menu. "Don't worry about it, it's natural. I need to use the bathroom, get me my usual okay? I can leave you two alone, right?"

Axel gave her a big cheesy grin; Naminé surveyed him coolly and then nodded a yes to Roxas. Strike two for me, Axel counted dejectedly as she got out of the booth so that Roxas could slide out and head toward the bathroom. She sat back down, this time moving all the way so that she was up against the wall and could examine him from an angle now, unlike before when she could only look at him straight on. He could feel her eyes lingering on his neck again, almost accusingly.

"So… I'm a little confused. Why're you hanging out with Roxas now?"

Oh god she could be Angela's smaller, prettier twin. Straight to the point, this one.

Axel leaned back against the cushion, looked up at the ceiling a moment, and then smiled. "You wouldn't believe me if I said it was because he owes me money and I'm trailing him around until he coughs up?"

Her expression shifted mildly, but there was a dangerous gleam in her eye now. "As much as I'd like to, no, I don't think so."

He shrugged, spared another glance at the ceiling, and then said, "Well, might as well tell you I guess, since I'm sure he won't. He's pregnant. It's mine. We're considering adopting it out. We're both all kinds of immature, not a good environment to raise a child in, you understand."

The expression shifted again, the gleam remained, but now a smile tugged at her lips. "Really Axel, tell me. It's because you like him, right?"

Again, straight to the point.

"No," he trailed off, eyes down toward the table now. "No, not really. Yea, you're probably wondering what these are—"and he indicated his neck "—and yea, they're what you think. But uh… I don't know. I came up here kind of spur of the moment so I've got no place to stay yet and Roxas offered to let me camp out with him tonight. I'm waiting for my aunt to return my call so I can go and visit her."

She was perplexed now, tilting her head and brushing hair back from the front of her face. "That was easy," she commented. "Not pulling teeth, like I expected."

He spared a shrug in her direction. "I'm not the most secretive guy, if you can't tell."

"Plus it's written all over you," she added.

"I had no turtlenecks. Didn't expect to need them."

There was a chuckle. "Not what I meant, but anyway. So what did you two do today?"

The waiter came and Axel ordered and then Naminé ordered for both of them and when he was gone, Axel said, "Nothing really. Woke up really late because we were both fucked up to heaven and hell. And then we went to that zombie place downtown and then he took me to see the old lady he has to visit in the nursing home. Misty. That's it. Nothing dangerous or shady or with ulterior motives, I promise."

Again she was frowning, before saying, "He took you to the nursing home?"

Axel nodded. "Yea. Just hung out there for a few hours and talked to that old lady. And I offered to get but he said I could come eat with you guys and like I said, I don't really have any place to go… well I mean, I can, but…. Well Roxas offered so I said yes." He felt only very slightly defensive.

"Well that's nice of him," she said, sinking a little down to the side. "Sorry. I'm not like this normally. But Roxas is like my little brother. I worry about him. I mean, didn't expect him to bring home a boy from last night."

Axel blushed and that made her smile. He berated the sensors in his face and gave them a strict warning that the next time they did that, he was cutting them out. Blood and extensive facial reconstruction surgery and all, they were coming out next time they decided to act up. He wasn't supposed to blushing, that wasn't him. Not good, face sensors, not good.

"It's not like that," he objected, only minutely.

It was a small, secretive smile. "If you say so, Axel. If you say so."

He was about to press her for more information when Roxas showed back up, sitting back down and looked vacantly at the table in front of him.

"Things okay? You took awhile."

Roxas nodded distractedly.

Now Naminé was frowning, moving up again to peer more closely at his face. "What's wrong, Rox? You're not acting like yourself."

Axel would have liked to vouch for that, if only to support Naminé's argument, but he was struck again by the very true fact that he did not know Roxas. A few hours of hanging out, an old crazy lady, and a very alcohol induced make out session did not make for knowing someone. But even he was getting the very distinct feeling that something was bugging the kid in front of him. There was a very serious air in the way he replaced his and Naminé's settings since they had traded spots, and in the way he stirred his tea with the straw, as though he was looking past everything. Thinking deeply, in any sense, and Axel was more or less okay with letting him think deeply, about whatever he wanted to think deeply about, but Naminé wasn't.

"Roxas, what's wrong? I know something was wrong yesterday."

They had talked yesterday, apparently. They were apparently best friends forever. But well, this was still not knowing Roxas and what he had done yesterday prior to party and Drunken Makeout. It deserved capitals now.

"It's fine, Nami. My mom wants me to go back down tomorrow. Says she's sick again."

Naminé didn't say anything for a second, Axel considered excusing himself to the bathroom, and then she said, "You aren't going, are you? You were just there, Roxas."

He gave a little helpless, unsure shrug—more helpless than anything. "I know that. But she asked me. Said she was sure she was really sick this time."

"Did you talk to the doctor?"

Roxas shook his head, saying, "No. It was a voicemail. I haven't called her back yet."

The food arrived then, surprisingly quick, all clanking bowls and white rice and spice. There was a certain thing in Thai food that Axel found soothing; he had grinned when they had first approached the restaurant. It probably had to do something with the fact that it was just super spicy. His entire family had not been able to handle spicy food. Reno had nearly choked on a pepper one time and from then on, Angela had forbid the household staff from cooking anything even mildly out of a regular temperature level. Maybe it was the extreme, maybe it was the secret, gleeful feeling he was privy to when he ate it because he felt it was giving him some more control over his life. At least, more control than what he'd had when he was a kid, in any case.

Naminé seemed to drop the issue, because now she was going on about some art show. Axel was treated to a very thorough description of her collection. Roxas had rolled his eyes at one point and Axel had seen, but they had only shared a very secretive smile when Naminé prattled on and on about watercolors and canvasses and the types of paintbrushes she used and how she used acrylics, at time, but her subjects took more easily to watercolor paints. She was very passionate about her drawing, there was no doubt in that, and Axel tried to butt in, at times, to talk about his experience in that field, because he did graphic arts and was quite handy with a paintbrush in the form of digitalized pixels on a screen. She would have none of it, however, and determinedly kept on over him. Roxas had grinned then, at her deft handling of Axel's supposed talent, and Axel had pouted until Roxas had rolled his eyes again, kicking him stealthily under the table. Axel had arched an eyebrow, kicked him back, and they went on for a second, until Axel caught the waiter staring at them, before he went back into the kitchen and started talking loud in Thai, and though Axel couldn't make out the words, he was pretty sure it was something along the lines of "AND THEY WERE PLAYING FOOTSIE, IT WAS SO CUTE LINDA, SO CUTE."

He returned to ask for dessert and Axel had actually opted to have some of the mango cake. Roxas had seemed surprised for a second, like it had startled him out of the bad mood he was in, and then asked for the melted bananas and fruit. Naminé had daintily declined, like the woman she was, but when the waiter returned she was more than happy to sneak out of both their dishes. Axel didn't mind though. Her smile was mischievous, and her eyes were kind, and she hadn't verbally abused him too badly over his and Roxas's drunken makeout. She sort of reminded him of Aerith, in a way. When she wasn't reminding him of Angela, that was.

When they were through and Axel had finished his third sermon about how mangos were obviously a superior fruit to bananas, she stopped, though, and looked very seriously at Roxas. "So what're you going to do?"

Even Axel could see through his feigned confusion.

"About your mom, Roxas. You're not actually going to go down there, are you? You were just there."

Roxas shrugged again, and Axel could see he was ready to shut the cover on this one. He would make this decision alone, and any disturbance or pleading from Naminé was probably not going to do any good on her behalf. He'd make up his mind on his own terms and with his own facts.

This was, of course, speculation, as Axel did not have a very high powered microscope to peer into Roxas's brain. He had a hunch though. The squaring of the shoulders was familiar. So was the way he shrugged. Maybe it was just a boy thing.

Naminé was persistent, though, and continued on, "Roxas, listen to me. Your mom does this all the time. It's got to stop. You're already going down there next week. She can survive a day or two without you."

He waved a dismissive hand, and said, "I know, Nami. I'll figure something out."

"It's probably nothing, Roxas." Her voice was forceful. "Talk to her doctor. And you have work. You can't keep skipping out on work when she has episodes like this. You have to go to work."

Axel lowered his head, and he expected Roxas to do the same, and was surprised when there was a harsh, almost barking sound from him, so unlike the easy going demeanor he'd just had in the past few minutes. "No, I don't. I got fired yesterday, Naminé."

Silence, and Axel again hastily wondered if he should excuse himself from the table to use the bathroom. The blank, confused look on her face was nearly embarrassing. It was sort of like watching some family drama, some soap opera. He imagined they'd be perfect for that, the perfect brother/sister dynamic. They were both quiet, except Roxas was sulky, and Naminé was patient. In the end they could turn to incest and have twin children, exact replicas of their parents, and so on and so forth and the world would explode and so on. He wasn't sure he wanted to be part of what was to come though. Roxas had taken out his phone and was shuffling through it now, while Naminé still hadn't said anything, like what he had just said wasn't registering properly in her brain.

When she finally did speak, her voice was subdued. "Did something happen?"

Again with the barking, harsh sound. "Obviously. I said something wrong over the phone. Or rather, Demyx did, but I was responsible. It went in my file. My file has too many pretty sticky notes over it. Lexaeus fired me. Said I wasn't the same type of employee I was when they hired me and my customer relation skills were not up to par. So, he fired me. So no, I really don't have anywhere to be. I mean, might as well be a good son while I can, right?"

He really, really hoped that she would leave it at that, let the transgression go, let Roxas just meander down whatever path he was currently on, but no, her words cut through that and they were infused with passion now and was that… anger he heard? "Roxas. Do not let your mother bully you into going to see her! She doesn't need you, she's fine, don't you see that? You need… you need to start figuring out stuff up here first. It can wait."

"Her situation sounded pretty dire, Nami."

Whatever kindness in her eyes there had been had been replaced by some sort of blazing demon now. Yes, exactly like Aerith. Now she was the perfect Angela/Aerith demon. Anrith. Aergela.

"It always sounds dire, Roxas. It's what she does, to keep you waiting on her. You can't keep doing that. What about yourself?"

"This isn't the time, Naminé," Roxas said, and it was said lowly. Dangerously.

"No, this is the time Roxas. You're listening just as well as if you'd listen any other time. Which is nothing, because you don't ever listen to anyone except yourself. And you're wrong Roxas, you're wrong this time like you've been this whole time about your mom."

"I think I know the situation with my mom better than you do," Roxas snapped.

She did not back down. "No, you can't see this clearly. Your mom's sick Roxas. And you're not letting her get better because you're constantly rushing to her side. You're feeding her delusions. You're the problem, you're not helping. You're being a bad son by going back to her again and again, that's what's making you the bad son. You're all she has Roxas. If all she has is you and you keep showing her again and again that you're always going to be right there, she's going to keep holding onto you because that's all. It's only you."

"Stop it Naminé." Roxas stood up, suddenly, glaring down at her. "I don't know why you chose right now, but just… I need to think about it." He stood down and furiously yanked the skateboard up from underneath the table. "My mom, my life, just leave me alone okay?"

"You're being stupid," she said, and her cheeks were red.

He yanked out a bill from his pocket, threw it on the table, and opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but on the end he just turned on his heel and walked out the door.

Axel was starting to feel very, very, very much like he was on the set of the soap opera. He looked at Naminé, expecting her to start crying, but her cheeks were still only red, and her eyes were angry.

"He's an idiot," she said, her voice hushed, but still brimming with something that was pretty much anger.

Axel nodded uncertainly. He didn't want to betray Roxas by agreeing with her—he'd know her less time than he'd known Roxas, in any case—but she was right in this instance. "Yea. I don't know what's up, but you shouldn't take it personal… I'm sure you're trying to help him…"

When she looked at him, he thought her eyes were glistening now, but it could have been just a trick of the light.

"You better go after him, Axel."

Axel started. "What? Me? I don't even know him. I mean, let me assure you, I know him a lot better than I did twenty four hours ago but uh, I mean, we're not even really friends."

This smile was all knowing, and shaky. "No, but he doesn't want to see me right now. He needs someone. Trust me. Please go after him. I don't want him alone right now."

There was an unpleasant prickling sensation at the back of his neck. "What do you mean?"

This smile, now, was sad. "That's not my place to say," she said slowly, sliding out of the booth. "But I just don't want him alone and it'll only make him angrier if I go after him. The skate park's down the block from here, to the left. That's where he went. If he skipped that, his apartment is one block down from there. The building's called Willow Creek. He's in floor seven, number 813. Keep knocking if he doesn't answer. He hates it when people knock. He'll open it eventually."

"Alright," Axel said, hesitantly, still not sure why he was following this girl's instructions.

This smile, finally, was again sort of mischievous. Knowing. "Thanks. It means more than you know."

He smiled too, then, taking a bill out of his pocket and putting it on the table. He clapped her on the shoulder, in a friendly fashion, and was struck at the boniness of it. "Not to worry, lass. I shall find your yonder ruffian and make a man out of him."

He winced. Oh, the innuendo, it was suffocating.

She didn't notice or chose not to say anything, because there was still the smile, and said, "See you."

He tipped her a salute, and walked out, down the direction she'd pointed him in, more questions on his mind than before. Obviously there was something wrong with Roxas's mother that made him travel to Brooklyn more than necessary. Naminé had certainly thought that whatever was wrong with his mom wasn't enough to worry about; Roxas certainly thought that whatever was wrong with his mom was definitely enough to make him doubt himself as her good son. Now he was a lot of things, and he was never a psychiatrist, but he'd read enough books and watched enough movies and listened to enough goddamn women at the Laundromat to know that Roxas probably had deep and severe mommy issues, which would explain, he admitted, quite a bit.

He got lost twice on the way there, and by the time he did arrive at the skate park, he'd made friends with three stray dogs, one stray man, and about a zillion stray insects that were intent on landing on him and sucking out his blood. It was dark, the street lights were on, and Axel was pretty sure he was about to be muscled into the back of some dark van, driven to a street corner, and there made to perform devious sexual actions that would at some point in his life require him to bow before a cross and announce his sins. By the time he had found Roxas sitting idly on the lip of one of the depressions in the ground, he was swatting his arms every three seconds, trying to drive off the swarm of mosquitoes that had been perpetually around his head since the time he'd left the restaurant.

"This place sucks," he mumbled when he approached Roxas, who hadn't turned to look at him.

No response, but he hadn't exactly expected one. He stood behind him, a respectful distance, and continued to bat his hands against his face and neck. Goddamnit he wished he'd brought a turtleneck. It would have been more useful in protecting himself against malaria then it would have been protecting himself against whatever vicious onslaught the marks in his neck could potentially have brought.

He contemplated what to do now. He could A) drag Roxas up by his hair and drag him back to his apartment, throw him inside, and then demand to know what the hell was going on in his life because damnit, Axel had been in it for twenty two hours now and he deserved to know everything or B) leave Roxas here, get a motel, and leave without ever having to see him or face Naminé again. It was probably the less messy of the two options, and probably carried less baggage with it. He swatted his neck at a particularly tender spot and cursed, which still didn't make Roxas turn around to see what the hell was attacking him. Option B for him it was then.

"Did Naminé ask you to follow me?"

Damnit, just as he was about to spring into motion.

Running a hand through his hair, almost nervously, he said, "Yea. She did. Said she'd just piss you off. Was she right?"

"Yes," Roxas said, no emotion.

Pause, and then Axel said, "Am I pissing you off?"

A decidedly short time before Roxas said, "No. But I wish you weren't here."

"Yea, me too. You have terrible tastes in hangout places. I'm catching West Nile as we speak."

"Then you should probably go."

Again there was no emotion, only the flat monotone.

There were bountiful options in what to do in this situation, but after wrestling with twenty six letters and sub letters and even sub sub letters, he decided on the very first one he'd come up with, the one that came before knocking Roxas over the head and stealing all his money and the one that came before calling the cops to let them know there was some drunken child molester in the park waiting for small children to come along all by their lonesome to be snatched up. He chose the first option, and moved forward, until he was sidelong by Roxas, and then sat down, dangling his feet over the lip of the bowl as well.

"I don't think I said 'yea, sure, sit right here by me.'"

"You were thinking it."

Roxas snorted.

"I can't go. I'm crashing at your place. If I didn't, I'd have to stay with Demyx, and I am sorry, but I am not drunk tonight and I do not feel it necessary to hear any sort of strange noises those two make in the middle of the night. Feel free to go over there, though. I'll just stay in your apartment, safe."

"Your aunt didn't call you back?"

His humor was not appreciated. "No. She's probably in Africa. Catching animals with her bare teeth and wearing their bones as necklaces. She does stuff like this a lot."

"Sort of a leap of faith then, you coming up here to see her?"

Axel sneaked a glance in that direction. Just hair, shadows, and more bugs. "I guess. Thinking ahead, never been my strong suit."

"I'd say."

Were they going to go on like this before? Axel slapped his neck. It came away with no bug guts.

"Do you think I should go see my mom?"

More hair, shadows, bugs. "You're asking me?" he said, carefully.

A small shrug. "Naminé thinks I shouldn't. I think I should. One of us needs to be right."

"Sounds simple enough. Well, in that case, I think you should listen to Naminé."

Axel expected an indignant response; he expected some sort of explosion, some sort of pathetic whine, some sort of half assed excuse and pitiful little sob story. There was none of that, only the hair seemed to sink deeper, the shadows changed, and Roxas was leaning forward, forearms on his mostly parallel thighs, head leaving over the edge and face turned downward.

"I think I should listen to her too."

Another slap, another sting to his bruised neck, but no guts. "So what's the problem Sherlock? Stay here."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

Axel had a lot of options here too, and he played out the scenarios in his brain, and it didn't really matter which one he picked, really. Most of them ended with blood, bullets, carnage, some type of ambulance, a few pigeons, and mostly, blood. Lots and lots of it, gallons of it. He wondered how much blood the human body held. Probably a lot. Paying attention in biology would probably have helped. Wasn't his fault he hadn't paid attention in that class, after all. The professor was a fox.

Ignoring his instincts to put a ring around Roxas's eye for that type of statement, he instead rolled his own eyes. "You're asking me my opinion. Thought I was entitled to it."

"You still don't know what you're talking about."

"So why don't you enlighten me?"

A chuckle, dry and dark and deep. "Rather not. I prefer we know each other for a full twenty four hours before I divulge that type of information."

"It's been almost that," Axel protested. "I mean, that time we spent on the phone could definitely be counted toward that grand total."

"Yea, probably like ten minutes. You're still two hours too short."

"I see. Well, come on then." Axel picked himself up, being very careful not to topple into the skateboarding pit. "Give me your board."

He should have done that a lot sooner, he noted, as Roxas's head shot up at the very mention of the board. His eyes were narrowed, suspicious, full of distrust.

"What do you want it for?"

"So I can ride it, duh."

"Do you know how?" The tone was skeptical. More than skeptical. Probably almost amused, actually.

"You say that like you don't trust me. Come on, I won't break it, I promise. I know how."

Roxas still looked dubious as he clambered up to his feet too, holding the board gingerly and pretty much protectively, away from Axel, against his side. "Don't know how much I like this," he said, uneasily.

"Come on. I won't go in there. Just let me take a spin on it."

There was still the distrust as he handed the board to Axel, who immediately dropped it on the ground and lined himself up with it. It was a regular board, trucks and wheels resting gently under his weight as he tested it while Roxas hovered around like an anxious parent. His baby was about to leave the nest. Axel was, most assuredly, not the baby in this particular situation.

"Why do you want to ride it anyway?"

"To kill the two hours before you can tell me what the hell is going on." And with that Axel propelled his right leg, sliding forward effortlessly. Roxas gave a confused chortle behind him but Axel was already riding away, waving his arms for a second while he regained his balance. It came, slowly and sort of awkwardly, but he managed to get a good dozen yards away before he had to stop himself. He did this rather ungracefully by precariously taking one foot off the board, stomping it down frantically onto the ground, and then skittering to a halt while the skateboard went sliding forward gently, coming to a halt a few feet away. Axel had nearly tripped and lost his face in the process, but at least he hadn't messed up Roxas's precious board.

He turned around to see Roxas hurtling past, going to the board and retrieving it, and Axel could almost hear the sweet nothings it was getting whispered, the "Don't worry, don't worry, it'll only hurt for a little while, you did a good job, don't cry, don't cry, it'll be okay."

Things had been okay for Axel for awhile. He'd learned skateboarding pretty easily. He hadn't learned how to stop though. He had enough scars to prove it.

That would never and wasn't ever going to cut it.

"Thought you said you knew how to ride it," Roxas said crossly, stepping back toward him.

"I was riding it, wasn't I?"

"Crash landing much?"

"Oh please, I barely even hit the ground."

"You nearly lost that face of yours, buddy."

"Bet you would have cried, wouldn't you have?"

"Shut up asshole."

"You're the asshole."

"Yea you're stupid."

"You're an idiot."

"You're retarded."

"You're a little bitch."

Roxas made a snorting noise, and then dropped the board, this time resting one foot squarely in the center of the black grip. "If you say so," he said, and pushed off, gliding forward effortlessly. Axel made a face at him, and started following along leisurely, as Roxas made a circle around the pit in the ground. Around the edge, with Axel a few feet back, Roxas dropped into the pit. Axel was vaguely concerned, but then Roxas was up, body and board contorting in the air, and Axel had a split second to remember that his eyes were blue, so blue, and they were more important.

It took a few minutes, but Roxas seemed to get it out of his system quick enough. When he came back to Axel, he gave up the board without too much of a fight and laughed, not cruelly, while Axel figured it out. He could ride and he could skate and just keep going and gliding, but stopping, no, stopping had never been a good point for him. Ever. About a half hour into Axel's disastrous attempts to stop that involved a trash can and a light pole, Roxas took over and showed him how to do it.

He still had trouble with it.

But it was better than it had been an hour ago.

That done, they returned to the apartment. Roxas found him some blankets and set him up in the living room, after introducing him to the cat, a cat named something completely boring like Rex. Roxas had said he was trying to be funny. Axel had replied that only blind nuns with no sex drive could come up with something that funny and they'd spent a few minutes chasing each other around the small apartment, Roxas holding a pillow to defend himself and Axel holding up the cat itself. When they had finished, Roxas had turned on the light in the kitchen as a courtesy, brushed his teeth, and then stood in the doorway entrance of the hallway, watching Axel twist and turn to get comfortable on the small couch.

Fat chance.

"Be good," Roxas murmured.

"Always Hulk Hogan," Axel had replied, and promptly passed out.

When he woke up in the morning, Roxas was in the kitchen, on the phone, deep in conversation with someone. He pretended to be asleep, digging his head into the pillow and tossing and pitching around for good effort. He needed to use the bathroom very, very badly but to suddenly wake up seemed rude. Instead, he tried to make a show of it, kicking his legs up, flailing about like in the throes of a dream, eyes kept firmly shut the entire time. He could hear the entire conversation and it was still going and Roxas was still sounding angry, so he hastened his flailing, and finally when he couldn't take it anymore and he thought he was about to explode in a dozen fiery pieces, he faked the hugest yawn he had ever faked in his entire life, sat up, shook his head, and fake wiped the sleep from his eyes.

When he opened them, Roxas was sitting on the arm of the chair, staring right at him.

"Problem?" One eye was raised skeptically.

Axel pretended not to notice and faked another yawn, not the biggest he had ever faked in his life, but it was up there. "Morning! How're you today?"

"Didn't you mother ever tell you to not eavesdrop?"

Axel dropped his hands, shook his head emphatically, and said violently, "I have no idea what you're talking about! I just woke up!"

That eye was still raised. "Right."

He was going to explode. "Yes, right, and if you excuse me, I need to use the restroom!"

He tried to get up before realizing he was too long for the couch, as always, and not only was he too long, he was tangled up in the sheets due to the incessant acts of show off-y sleep throes he had just put on. He tried to pull his legs out, but they were caught, and when he realized that fact, he attempted a kamikaze maneuver to escape and ended up crashing to the floor, head tilted at an awkward angle up at Roxas.

Roxas made no move and only, if possible, raised his eyebrow a little higher. "Stuck, are you?"

"I am most certainly not!" He sat up, kicked his legs, and felt the sheets tighten around him in a very suffocating fashion.

"You sure?"

"I am!" He tried to move his arms; they constricted around his chest and he made a strangled little gasp.

Roxas slapped his knees and stood up, a smirk on that too young boyish asshole face of his. "Well good, now hurry up and get dressed because I have stuff to do and places to see and bitches to kick and well, you need to hurry up."

"Right!" Axel wanted to salute, but his arm was presently pressing up against his side in a very dire fashion. Roxas walked away and Axel glared at his back. Fine. He was finally able to tear himself free of the blankets just as he thought he was going to blow up and then he ran to the bathroom, locking himself inside and feeling a very cozy sensation of relief. He came out a second later, didn't see Roxas, and retrieved his backpack and changed into the last spare set of clothes he had brought and then called out to Roxas to see if he could borrow Roxas's comb.

There was a muffled affirmative reply from Roxas's bedroom so Axel ran it through his hair, got it stuck, tugged, and broke off three successive teeth. He bit his lip, threw the comb in the trash, stuck some toilet paper on top of it, and then tried to look very innocent and shining and the perfect example of a proper and decent young man when Roxas came out of the bedroom, his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He seemed to know something was up, because his eyes were suspicious but Axel very determinedly denied any accusations of brush breaking or toilet paper stealing behavior.

"You sure you okay? You don't need something?"

"No! I am great! My hair looks great too!"

Roxas regarded him with an eye.

"Great! "

"Okay. Well. I have some stuff I need to take care of today. Um… what are you going to do?"

Axel ran a hand through his perfectly combed hair, felt one of the teeth still embedded near his scalp, and very surreptitiously pulled it out while appearing extremely thoughtful. "I don't know," he said, slowly. "My aunt hasn't called me back… I need to head back to the city tomorrow. " He shrugged, the weight of what he had just said settling on him. He was stupid. He looked bleakly at his phone, and then accusingly at it. It was stupid. He was stupid. What had he been thinking? To just throw himself on a bus and jet up here, like her life revolved around him and damnit, he needed her, now, and she was just supposed to know that?

And the food had been great and the zombie café had been worth and Roxas… well, Roxas was just what he was, but honestly, had this trip produced anything worthwhile?

No. He had just stupidly rushed up here, assumed things would work out because they always did, and this time, they hadn't.

Roxas appeared to sense that he was troubled by the fact, because he offered, half-heartedly, "You never know, maybe she just had trouble with the phone… I mean, you could look her up in the phone book, right?"

Axel shrugged. "Yea, I guess." There was still that sort of dismayed glint in Roxas's eye, so he said, a little more brightly, "Yea, that's probably a good idea. I mean, if she isn't back by tonight well… what can you do, I guess? I tried. Nobody can say that I guess."

Axel was grateful when Roxas did not point out the obvious, but instead glanced down at his watch. His wrists were skinny too, Axel noticed. Skinny and thin, not skinny and thin like Axel was, but unhealthy skinny and thin. It was natural for him; he didn't gain any weight no matter what he ate or what he did, and his bones stuck out more prominently than they should have, and he was scrawny and generally looked underfed but he was healthy and while looking underfed he was still... healthy. Roxas's sheen in his hair was forced, the glint in those too blue eyes was tired, and he was skin and bones and desperation and longing. Something was there, Axel realized, something important, but it wasn't his place and instead he just wondered again, instead of just asking, wondered again what was wrong with Roxas's mother and why he needed to head down there so frequently and why Naminé had been so adamant against his going when he clearly had desired to visit her.

In Axel's book, that made Roxas a good son. In Roxas's book, that made him the only acceptable son there could be. In Naminé's book, apparently Roxas's going to see his mother made him a worse son than if he actually never spoke to her again.

He hadn't known Naminé for very long—hell, he'd known Roxas just over twenty four hours now—but the girl was sincere and not bitter and not needy and needed Roxas to be okay. It was in her face, in the way her arms moved, in the way she had looked at him. Roxas was lonely and desperate and searching; Naminé wasn't any of those, but her face was fragile, and though she was strong, she needed him. She needed him to be okay.

"Well, like I said," Roxas went on now, "I have stuff to do. I mean, I'll be around later, I don't think I'm going to take off until tomorrow either but… I was going to get something to eat. Did you want to come?"

There were a million snide remarks—aw, did you just ask me on a real live date?—but Axel smartly held his tongue and replied with a casual shrug and a smile, "Sure. That's fine. I'll figure out what to do from there."

There was a nod, with a bitten lip. "Right. Let's go. No zombies though."

Axel raised an eyebrow at him. "No zombies, huh? You're lame."

No flashing eyes, just a wrinkly little smile. "Yea, I get that a lot."

"Demyx?"

"He's pretty vocal about it." They walked out of Roxas's apartment and he locked the door. "Demyx is a good guy but he's pretty persistent. I'm lame, he's the greatest sitar player who ever lived, I have no life, Demyx gives better blow jobs than I do, it's sort of this retarded competition that I have no interest in that makes him happy." A shrug as they entered the elevator, and Axel saw his eyes dart up, just quickly, just a glance, to the topmost button, before his hand slid down away from it and tapped the ground level. "He's a good guy. I'm glad I met him."

Having no cue to go on, Axel nodded and said the truth. "Yea, he seems nice, so does Xigbar. I've got to say bye to them. They were pretty adamant about that."

"They would be," Roxas nodded. "Very social, those two."

This time Axel nodded, and they stepped out of the elevator and went down the corridor, toward the street. Roxas stopped at his mailbox and opened it; there was nothing except some bills and some leaflets and fliers and some bag pleading for Roxas to donate all his old clothes to the veterans' who had served his country nobly, now didn't he want to give something back to those who had given everything for him? Axel pointed this out; Roxas snorted and pointed out he doubted any veteran wanted his old Vans and checkered hoodies; Axel replied they would the most fashionable old men in the hospital because Roxas had style and it wasn't every day you found style just lying around; Roxas nearly decked him but they went into the street then, laughing, and that's when they heard the voice behind them.

"Axel! AXEL YOU FUCKING IDIOT, GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE PRICK."

They both turned around at the sound of his name and when he did, he wasn't sure who was more confused—Roxas, because he was seeing a ghost, or Axel, because this shouldn't be happening in a zillion years.

It was Reno, and he was coming toward them and Aerith was behind him, and he looked utterly and completely pissed.