Hello, Hello! You won't believe it but I'm updating! I'm extremely sorry that I haven't posted in anything in so long. The past year has been a huge change for me since I finished college and started university. It's been difficult to find time for anything other work and when I'm not working I'm sleeping! But now you have it, the next chapter. It's not as long as the others, it was literally a spur of the moment thing that I did when I should have been finishing an essay. But short and sweet isn't so bad ;) enjoy!

Chapter 20 - Weak at Heart

I've been counting up all my wrongs,
One sorry for each star,
See I'd apologise my way to you,
If the heavens stretched that far,
You are the one I want, you are the one I want...

"I'm not angry at you," Jacob's voice reiterated.

I looked up from the spot where my hands were busy picking away at the leather on the booth of the table we were sat in. In the warmth of a small diner off the outskirts of town, he frowned at me. It was a casual decision to come here, typical of Jacob though he didn't know it. He didn't want a battle for the truth, nor did he want the infuriating drag of a silent room. He just wanted civil.

Hours earlier I shifted in his friends shed, a fantastic entrance after three months of disappearing without solid reason. And he wasn't angry?

I gazed back at him, my stomach doing a tiny flip when he swept his hair out of his eyes. It had grown out since the last time I'd seen him, not much, but just enough to frame his face in jagged points. He looked tired.

"I'm upset but I'm not angry." He leaned across the table, shifting his half empty cup of coffee to make room for his elbows. "It's a scary transition. I get that."

"Jacob…" I whispered. How could he possibly get it? My whole life had changed in ways unimaginable. Not solely by the effects of my physical condition, but by the discoveries I'd learned that questioned everything I thought I knew before. My mother wasn't dead after all, but she was the reason that my dad was and now she wanted me. I still hadn't processed that myself.

"I know, you think I don't get it," he continued. "Morphing into a giant animal isn't something you do everyday." I scowled at his choice of words. "I get that you couldn't tell me, but not even a note to say goodbye? You left me hanging. I had no idea if it were something I did or something had happened to you. And the rumours that people made up at school…" He trailed off. "I thought the worst."

"I'm sorry." I swallowed down the nerves and sat up straighter. He knew the worst part, so there was no reason not to be honest now. "It's not just the…"

"Phasing," he filled in.

I nodded. "The phasing, yeah."

"Then what?" he asked. I stared at him a while longer, wondering how I should explain.

"You remember what I told you, or rather April told you, about my parents before I left." I said it as a statement rather than a question, but he nodded his understanding anyway. "I thought my mother was a wonderful person. My dad would express his best memories of her all the time, but he never told me what she really was. She…she's not dead Jacob."

I watched his face stay utterly still, holding my gaze as he thought about what I said. "You mean you saw her?"

I nodded again.

"How? I mean it's great that she's alive but…why didn't she try to find you?"

In a sick, twisted way she had. She didn't need to find me because she knew I would come to her eventually. I grimaced thinking about it.

"I think she already had," I told him. "She was waiting for me. For weeks I thought I was seeing things; amber eyes at the roadside; shadows at the window. She had someone waiting for me the whole time. He found me the night of the bonfire, when I transformed."

Jacob's eyes narrowed in question. "That was the night you transformed?" he asked. "I guess it explains all the weird scents we kept tracking.

I looked down at my hands fisted in my lap. Remembering everything fully was a hard task and it brought back some of the pain I'd managed to mask. "She killed my dad, Jacob. She got him to do it."

Jacob sat up again. "What?"

"The guy that was spying on me. Angelo is his name." I heaved a sigh and downed the last of my tea. It was cold now and thick in my throat but it washed away the lump I could feel creeping in. "He seemed like a good guy at first. He didn't want to be there any less than I did, and we sort of became friends. But then he admitted everything. God, I was so angry. I don't know what he was like as a person before, but compared to all those people she has cooped up he was the only genuine one left."

"That doesn't excuse what he did," Jacob said plainly.

"No, it doesn't," I agreed. "But it still feels wrong to be angry at him. After all, he helped me escape that place."

Jacob's jaw flexed. He folded his arms, then unfolded them again, shifting in his seat. "What place?"

"Just a cave. I couldn't tell you where it was because I fell asleep when we reached a meeting point and three other people drove us in some jeep." I gave a nonchalant shrug. "I woke up in the cave."

"What about when you left?" he pressed.

"It was dark," I answered. "I know my senses are, like, off the radar now but I was filled with so much adrenaline. All I could think about was going unseen. I just knew where I had to go."

Jacob sat back and glanced out of the window. The light had faded and the trees had turned to jagged silhouettes in the street. "I guess we should be going," he said, motioning to the street outside. "It's getting late." He picked the empty cups up and discarded them in the nearest trashcan.

Outside, the wind had picked up. Jacob's Mustang sat in a spot all on it's own and he hurried over to unlock the driver's side. I wasn't so sure that I had the right to feel anything, but I was relieved with how our conversation went. I'd told him the truth and he wasn't mad. Looking at him now, and knowing what I knew, I wondered why I'd ever left him in the first place.

The drive back was silent. The radio faded in and out of tune as Jacob fiddled to adjust it. We'd agreed that tomorrow I would see Tony and tell him that I'd spent three months with my "aunt Linda" and that I'd begged her not to tell him. In all honesty, I didn't have an aunt Linda, but it was the only viable excuse I could come up with. Whatever the reason, I was still going to be in for some crap.

For now, though, Jacob was driving me to Sam and Emily's house. Paul's house was definitely too cramped and Jacob's father still didn't know I was back. Just as we turned onto the dirt track that led up their house, Jacob slowed to a halt.

"What are we doing?" I asked, glancing around. We were engulfed by darkness, the only light being the dim yellow overhead light.

Jacob turned to face me. "You were honest with me," he said, "And you know what I am too. But I'd like to be honest with you now. I saw how you phased today, but I think you should know how it is for us."

I stared blankly at him.

"Come on," he said sliding out of the car. I climbed out after him and followed his footsteps into the underbrush. The forest was damp, the air cold, but it caressed my skin like a cool breeze. I guess I liked that about the change.

By the time I caught up to him, he'd thrown his shirt to the floor and was busy unbuckling his jeans.

"Whoa," I said, frowning at his back. He turned around, exposing a bronzed and muscular chest that rippled under his movement. I felt my cheeks get hot. "Jacob, you don't have to do this right now."

He stepped forward so that he was looking down at me and I restrained myself from reaching out and running my hands across his chest. "I want to. We can't move on from anything if we're not honest with each other."

I couldn't argue with that, so I watched as he walked into an open space and tugged on his pants. "You might wanna turn around for this," he said, gesturing to his pants. I spun on my heel immediately. I heard the sound of fabric moving and twigs snapping under feet, and then it was silent. Absolutely silent.

I stayed still until I felt his breath before I heard it. Then I turned slowly and Jacob's soft brown eyes were staring back at me in the body of a wolf. He was sat on his hind legs, head tilted slightly, questioning me.

"Whoa," I breathed. Again. "It's one thing being a shifter, but seeing how you are…" I reached out to rake my fingers through the russet fur behind his ears. "So different," I mused. He closed his eyes in appreciation. "Thank you for showing me, Jake."

He opened his eyes again and stood up, this time towering just above me. Then he padded further into the underbrush, just out of sight. "Jacob?" I called after him. I started to worry when he didn't answer me, and then I heard a movement in the bushes and he poked his head out, human again.

"Could you throw me those jeans?" he asked, slightly red in the face.

"Oh sure." I smirked as he caught them in one swift motion. As he redressed I walked back to the car. He followed two minutes later, fully clad in his cut-offs and shirt looking more relaxed than before.

"So now we both know," he said, turning to look at me in the passenger seat. His eyes held an anticipation that I'd never seen before. I guess he'd never had the opportunity to show this side of himself and I felt some sense of relief knowing I'd given him that. I didn't deserve it after what I'd done, but we were vowing to be honest with each other now. We both had a secret to share.

When I didn't say anything, Jacob looked down at the palms of his hands. "I'm sorry," I finally said, "for what I did to you, Jake. I never wanted to leave. I was lonely and hurting, and you made me feel again. I was starting to get better. But Angelo told me that I had to leave you and everyone I knew if I wanted them to be safe. I thought I was a danger to you. God, if I'd have known…"

"It's ok," he said, taking my hand in his. Now that I was warmer I couldn't feel his abnormal temperature like I would have as a human.

A human…

It felt strange to think of myself as a something other than human.

Instead of agreeing with him, I said something we both wanted to ask. "Where does this leave us now?"

For a second he tensed up and I could feel his grip tighten around my fingers. But then he heaved out a sigh and lifted our hands up between us. He spread my fingers out and gently linked his own through them. "There's something else you should know," he said quietly.

I looked at our entwined hands, feeling the new sensations in my chest and asked, "What is it?" I didn't think there could be anything else after the news we'd shared.

"You have to know that what I'm about to say doesn't change how I feel about you. That's still real, Grace."

I frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand and took a deep breath. "It's difficult to explain, but I'll try my best. As a wolf, it's in our nature to…"

He paused and I held our hands firmly with my other one. "To what, Jacob? What is it?"

"To imprint."

I looked quizzically at him. What did that mean?

He could see the confusion etched into my face and took both of my hands, holding them close to his chest. "As a wolf we imprint, Grace. It can happen at any time or maybe not at all. It means that when we meet our soul mate we form a bond with them. It's unyielding."

He stopped for a second to let me absorb the information. Was he saying that…

"Sam imprinted on Emily, and Quil on Claire. It doesn't always mean love," he explained, "At least not initially. Claire is just a baby and Quil was horrified when he knew what it meant. But a wolf can be anything an imprint needs them to be…until they are ready to love. Right now Quil is like her big brother. Soon he'll be her best friend and later in life who knows…Sam and Emily were in love right from the start."

He still hadn't let go of my hands and I hadn't tried to take them away, but an uncertainty was falling over me. "What are you saying to me, Jacob?"

His face was very still for a moment. Both of us never shifted our gaze. "I'm saying," he admitted, "that I imprinted on you. But it doesn't mean that my feelings for you are forced. You're my soul mate. It means that we were made for each other."

It took me a long time to process what he was telling me, but he never moved from the position we were in. His expression never faltered. "Do I get a choice?" I finally said.

His eyes wavered for one brief second, but he swallowed back whatever he had felt and let my hands go. "Of course you do." He turned back to the steering wheel and peered out into the road. "Like I said, we'll be whatever you need us to be. If you need me to be your friend, then that's what I'll be." He said it with certainty, but I could tell by the way he gripped the wheel that he wasn't so sure of himself.

"Jacob," I said. He didn't answer me. "Jacob," I repeated, "I don't want you to be my friend." I watched as he turned slowly, his eyes radiating sadness. But I didn't feel guilt because I knew what I was about to say was right. I leaned forward to look him dead in the eye. "I want you to be what you were made for. My soul mate."

And then I kissed him.

A wave of emotions crashed into me, sending dozens of sparks throughout my body. We'd only ever kissed once before, a real and powerful kiss, that left me feeling fresh from a pain I'd lived with my whole life. The intensity was still there. He kissed me back, softly at first, but when he realised I wasn't holding back he pulled me closer, hungrier. His lips were soft and warm, gentle against me. He snaked his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck, feeling happier for the first time in a long time. I bit his bottom lip and a growl emanated from the back of his throat.

"I forgive you," he whispered, capturing my mouth again.

Thanks for reading guys. I hope you like this one!