On Sunday the Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys! (American football, get with the program. XD) So, uh, that's why I decided to update. Because I decided to do something nice for a change…

Dear readers! You disappoint me! You voted… Garen Muln as hottie of the year? Of all people! He's getting all the attention! Which, er, distracts from his studies as a Jedi Padawan. Shame on you for depriving the teen of a normal life.

Enough of that. This issue will give you the scoop on this year's hottest wedding- mine! And as I will be busy partying and celebrating, I have decided that Garen Muln shall be the reporter! (Since you all seem to like him so much. Are you happy now?)

ooooo

Um… hello, tabloid readers of the galaxy. This is Garen Muln, holding a datapad and stylus… I'm not sure how I got this job. Tahl is an emotional wreck today because Qui-Gon 's ex girlfriend showed up. She just shoved the datapad in my hand and went off to cry in the bathroom. But what am I talking about? That's not tabloid material. So, er, I assume I have to be the writer of this article as punishment for winning that contest? I guess I better walk up to someone and ask them how the wedding went…

"The ceremony was beautiful. The doves were a bit much though," says Clee Rhara as she picks feathers out of her thick hair.

"This cake is great! The wedding was great! And the best thing is Qui-Gon's leaving for his honeymoon for six whole weeks!" Obi-Wan says with a mouth full of frosting.

"I was… so happy… for Tahl… until I realized… she was going to be gone for six weeks!" Bant Eerin, Tahl's constantly overlooked Padawan, sobs.

"When Qui-Gon said 'I do' it was a picture perfect moment. How very emotional. Qui-Gon looked ready to die. Of happiness, of course," Siri beams.

"Boogying with the bride on the dance floor I was when hurt my back I did!" Yelps a hunched over Yoda. "Too fast these songs are!"

"Zora and I have had a good time. I made a speech earlier. A toast to the newlyweds!" A tipsy Mace Windu announces.

"I'm a little offended they didn't let me be the caterer. I would have been great. And look, we've run out of cream puffs!" Reeft exclaims.

"It's icky. They keep kissing. And dancing. And putting cake icing on each other's noses!" Whines a Youngling.

"At first we were very concerned because that evil ex of Qui-Gon's showed up. Tahl seemed ready to fling herself off the tallest tower in the Temple. You know, all romantic-like. But we convinced her to shove his ex down off the tower instead. Smart, right?" An anonymous bridesmaid chirps.

"When they first walked into the reception everyone started cheering. And a few women started sobbing. Unfortunately I only have two shoulders for them to cry on," says Kit Fisto with Aayla Secura, who also sang the song for their first dance.

And finally, we hear from Qui-Gon and Tahl:

"I wasn't expecting all this. In the good way. And now… we honeymoon, right?" the groom asks dazedly.

"Honeymooning! Whoop! Yes, Quiggy, that's where we're going next," an excited bride giggles. "Oh, Garen, thanks for taking over for the next six weeks. But after that, would you mind taking over for the next year or so? Qui and I are gonna get busy!"

"Bye Garen," Qui-Gon says forlornly.

The end, tabloid readers. There you have it; that was Tahl's wedding.

…Wait, did she say I have to do this for the next year?

I'm Garen Muln, not Tahl! I can't… commandeer a tabloid!

I'm out of here.

ooooo

So, er, I've decided not to write any more chapters. It used to be fun, but now… it's not. I've been moving on to other genres. Plus, I just started high school (it sucks, by the way) and really don't have the time anymore.
Thank you, everyone, for reading. Thanks to everyone who helped out and to everyone who reviewed. You guys are without a doubt the best readers ever! :) I hope you enjoyed reading and I hope the ending wasn't too bad…