Secrets secrets

Secrets, secrets are no fun unless they're shared with everyone. Fem Deidara

People say that Tobi is actually Madara. I think Tobi is too funny to be an Uchiha like him. Tobi being Obito makes more sense, but here Tobi is Tobi and Tobi is a good boy.

No one knew. Not even danna had known. And Deidara wanted it to stay that way. The Akatsuki were a sexist bunch, and they only tolerated Konan because she was married to Leader-sama. If they knew Deidara was a girl, oh that would be hell. She would get kicked out, killed, or worse, raped.

Deidara shuddered, oh Danna, why? Why did you have to die? She ignored the breakfast that Kazuku placed before her, pushed it away when urged to eat by Kisame and Hidan, and made the dish explode all over everyone when Itachi pushed it towards her. She ran from the kitchen in a flurry of tears as an angered Kazuku shouted after her, "That costs money, brat! A lot of money!"

She ran to Sasori's grave. Where she had buried his remains all by herself. She had even made him a grave stone out of her finest clay. She kneeled on the young grass that was just sprouting in small scattered patches. Deidara hung her head and let the tears come. The hot tears streamed down her cheeks and fell on the dirt. The blond ignored the calls of comfort from the various Akatsuki members. "Just leave me alone, un!" she screamed at Kisame when he tried to make her feel better.

Then Tobi came.

"Sempai!" he shouted, "Sempai why are you sad?" "Go away Tobi! un!" She hissed. "What's wrong sempai? Are you PMS-ing?" Deidara froze. "What?" she asked, her voice little more than a whisper. Tobi cocked his head, "Is Sempai PMS-ing?" "Tobi, only GIRLS have that yeah!" Deidara hissed, making sure that the coast was clear. "But Sempai is a girl! A very pretty girl!" he shouted. Deidara's eyes widened, "How do you know that un?" she turned to face Tobi, she grabbed his neck and began to shake him back and forth viciously. "How did you find out?! How do you know?! Have you been spying on me, yeah?!" she yelled.

"No." Tobi whimpered. "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi would never spy on Sempai!" he said, horrified at her questions, "Tobi saw through Sempai's genjutsu on accident," Tobi looked very awkward now, " and Sempai is a pretty girl and-" Tobi stopped and turned away, Deidara could tell he was blushing under that orange mask of his. Deidara let go of Tobi.

"Sempai, why do you hide that you're a girl? Tobi doesn't understand, Sempai is a pretty girl." "Tobi, no. I-" Deidara started but Tobi cut her off. "Secrets, secrets are no fun unless they're shared with everyone!" Tobi chirped. "Because all the man here are sexist bastards who think woman are only good for cooking and shit like that, yeah!" Deidara exploded. "But Sempai can't cook at all!" Tobi replied, which made Deidara smile a bit.

"So will Sempai take off her genjutsu now?" Tobi asked, cocking his head to the side again. Deidara nodded and the genjutsu was released, revealing a gentler voice, softer face, shinier hair, luminous blue eyes, and her feminine figure. Deidara had a terrible feeling that Tobi had a nosebleed and/or was drooling behind his mask. "Well? I thought you could already see, yeah?" She told him, frowning. Tobi looked like he was feeling awkward again, "Tobi was a bad boy. . ." he said trying to escape."Tobi" Deidara warned. "Please don't hurt Tobi! Tobi saw through Sempai's genjutsu on accident! It was an accident! Tobi is sorry! Tobi didn't mean to! " He feverently tried to explain.

"Tobi" said ninja was still ranting. Deidara tried again, "Tobi!" no luck, the blond bomber tried again, "TOBI!" "Yes Sempai?" he replied tentatively. "Take off your mask un." she told him. "But-" "Secrets secrets are no fun unless their shared with everyone, yeah." Deidara reminded him. "Not everyone." he stubbornly insisted. "Just Sempai." and then the mask came off.

Tobi was an Uchiha. An Uchiha. One of the scum that she despised. But Tobi. . . Tobi was different. She couldn't bring herself to hate him.

He couldn't have been older than 21. He had perfect porcelain skin, marred only by a thick scar and a bandage over his right eye. His visible eye was deep, playful obsidian, and she knew that it could probably flash that Sharingan red at a second's notice. "U-U-Uchiha. Uchiha Tobi yeah." Deidara murmured. Tobi muttered something inaudible, "What?" Deidara asked the goofy Uchiha. He blushed a deep tomato red, "Tobi said nothing Sempai!" "Sure." She laughed. Then leaned forward and hugged the boy, "Thanks." "For what?" Tobi questioned, confused. "For caring, un." the bomber replied, placing her head on Tobi's shoulder.

Deidara entered the Akatsuki hideout, genjutsu-free. Tobi, mask-free, followed behind her. "What the fuck?! Deidara is that you?!" Hidan shouted. Deidara gave the Jashist a lethal glare, "Yeah, I'm Deidara, un." "But-but-but-"He stammered. "Whoa! You're a chick?" Kisame exclaimed. "Yes Sempai is!" Tobi said, stepping in front of Kisame, Sharingan flashing. Tobi drew himself up to full height, trying to look intimidating, and Deidara had to admit, it was working rather well. "Tobi hopes that Kisame-san has no problem with that!" "What the fuck?! Tobi?!" Hidan shouted, really freaking out now. "Tobi, turn the Sharingan off, yeah?" Deidara told the Uchiha boy. "Yes Sempai!" he chirped, smiling.

Deidara smiled back, and began to walk to her room. Tobi started to follow, but he turned around to face the stunned Kisame and Hidan, Sharingan on. "If you hurt my Sempai, Tobi will make sure that you will have a very slow and painful death." the formerly masked boy threatened. "Don't make Sempai cook either. She'll probably make it blow up again!" he laughed gleefully and followed his sempai. "What was that about?" Itachi questioned as he walked in. "I think. . . your cousin. . . threatened us." Kisame answered, still stunned. "I thought I killed all my cousins. . ." Itachi mused. "You missed one." Hidan replied. "Who'd I miss?"

"Tobi"

"Tobi is my cousin?!"

This is a two- Shot. Sorry, I had to write this, I have fallen in love with the Deidara Tobi couple. So cute!