The first time Sam Winchester dreams of River Tam he is an observer in his own body – he has no understanding of what was happening, and no control over himself.

Sam hears a knocking at the door of the motel and stands up, walking over slowly. He places his hand under his shirt, ready to pull his gun out and shoot at any second.

When he opens the door, he finds a young woman standing there, her near black hair tumbling in a mess over her shoulders and half way down her back. Her long dress is dirty, and combat boots encase her feet.

"Sorry I'm late," she whispers and he nods. He removes his hand from his back, releasing the gun and walks out of the motel, leaving the door wide open and his cell phone on the side table.

They leave the motel parking lot, walking quickly, side by side in silence. They quickly jog over to the airplane and she nearly leaps up the small stairs extending from the jet, and she turns at the top to give him a small smile and a knowing glance. He has stood back and watched the grace she exhibits with such great ease, and she looks up and smiles.

"You are not fast enough to create the velocity and force it would require for you to elevate yourself to the plane from the ground," she says to him softly.

He laughs, not fully understanding but amused by how easily she changed a normal situation into cold math and numbers and back to normal again.

"You can't jump onto the plane once it takes off, qing ren," she grins and bites her lip. Sam jogs up the airplane steps and puts a hand on her hip. She turns and leads him into the plane, tugging on his hand, holding it to her slim body.

Her hip is thin; he can feel the bones underneath, like she hasn't been eating properly enough to gain the right amount of weight, which worries him.

But she smiles at him, and as he turns the corner, her eyes lit up at the sight of the cargo bay of Serenity, and he forgets about any worry for her. She is home, at peace, and safe.

She tugs on his hand and he lets go as she started spinning in circles, with her arms thrown out to her sides like a small child, giggling and grinning wide.

He takes the opportunity to look around at the ship, the metal catwalks, creaky stairs and the fact that behind most of the walls were secret compartments all felt comforting to him. But the lack of noise aside from the woman dancing in the middle of the bay makes him raise an eyebrow.

"Where's the rest of the crew?" He asks. She stops spinning.

"Am I not sufficient for your needs?" Her voice was almost cold, but sad. In so many ways parts of her were still a child, conflicting with need and lack of understanding. They clashed with the parts of her that were woman, wanting and confident and brilliant.

"You are everything I will ever need." He promises and she walks softly to him, her large, clunky boots making almost no sound as she slides towards him. He encircles his arms around her waist, and she rests her head on his chest.

"Captain and Jayne went to make a deal, Zoe and Wash went to get supplies. Book went to pray at a local abbey. Simon took Kaylee to dinner, and Dean will come shortly."

Sam raises an eyebrow. "Dean?" He asked. It was odd – he hadn't even thought of his brother before now.

"Of course, silly. Couldn't leave him behind," she replies quickly and spins out of his arms and runs up the stairs, shedding her combat boots for her preferred bare feet. "Chase me, Sam. Will you come after me?"

"Always," he answers.

-

Sam woke up slowly, still groggy from the sleep. The alarm clock next to him glared red numbers into the back of his eyeballs 3:47. He sat up slowly, the covers falling down around his waist.

He rubbed his chest and yawned, looking next to him. Jessica was peacefully asleep; her hair smothering the pillow in its golden strands, and her hand was on top of Sam's left thigh. Her nails were painted a soft blue shade, and he smiled remembering how she had painted them while singing along with the radio.

He pushed the covers down and slowly walked into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and ran the tap, splashing water onto his face. Had he really been dreaming about another woman?

He had no idea who she was – he had never said her name in the dream. Sam hadn't ever even seen her before. Why had his subconscious taking his usually abnormal dreams and replaced Jess with this woman?

He sighed, moving into the kitchen and pulling out a bottle of water, twisting the cap and drinking greedily; he suddenly found himself parched.

"Hey you," a soft, sleepy voice whispered from behind him. He turned to see Jess, clad in one of his button up shirts and a pair of silky pyjama pants that had bright green cats on them smiling softly at him.

He nodded and whispered, "Hey," in her general direction. She moved forward slowly and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. He was instantly reminded of the girl in his dream – that the head against his chest was smaller, with paler skin and dark hair, instead of the bright and vibrant blonde against him now.

She started softly kissing and nipping at his chest, and he watched her, knowing where she was intending for this to go.

He let her tug him back to bed. He wasn't sure who he made love to that night; Jess or the mysterious dream girl, only that when he drifted back to sleep, she wasn't there.

The next night he dreams of Jess burning for the first time.

-x-
He didn't see her again until after Jess died, when he was out on the road with Dean. They'd just finished the shape shifter a month ago, and they were somewhere near Detroit. He nodded off in the front seat while Dean was driving. It was dark out, but Dean didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.

She was sitting on his bed, her legs curled up under her skirt with her head tilted towards the ceiling. She had bubble gum in her mouth, and she kept blowing large bubbles upward.

"You're back," he whispers. It's been a long time, near a year, since he'd seen her the first time, and here she was again. The same way he had remembers her. Thin, pale, haunting, gorgeous, with a black wild mane of untamed hair and eyes that pierced through souls in seconds. He wants to grab her and whisper that he'd missed her into her hair, but he isn't entirely sure why he felt that way.

"You wanted me gone," she answers back, her voice soft and quiet, but just as effective as last time; it makes him want to be surrounded by the sound of her words.

"I did?" He questions, moving over to the bed she is sitting on. She blows a bright pink bubble and it pops loudly. He wonders why she is in Technicolor and everything else seems to be desaturated and losing focus, except for the woman on his bed, (which he isn't entirely sure is actually his).

"You were embarrassed," she shrugs. "You wanted to be with her, and I made you feel guilty. So I didn't come back until now." Her voice is still quiet, but she speaks a little faster this time, like there is some hidden emotion coming as subtext that he's not quite catching.

He doesn't wonder how she understands him so well, or why he isn't overly curious about her fascination with chewing gum. He didn't wonder why she doesn't wear shoes or why seeing her made him feel calmer inside. They made sense at the time; the questions only came when he was awake.

So he lies down next to her and she moves against him, still curled up and blowing bubbles. She frowns every time one of them pops, and sometimes her face wrinkles a little when she's particularly disappointed after a bubble gets larger then previous ones had been.

He chuckles at her antics.

"Trying to fly away?" He strokes her arms, and brushes hair back behind her ears and out of her face.

"Trying to create a balloon for you," she replies, looking down and smiling at him. "So you can fly away and come find me."

He lifts his hand to her face, cupping her cheek and stroking just under her cheekbone with his thumb.

"Will you come back, this time?" He tugs her towards him and she lays down, on his chest, her hair spreading out over his shoulder. He leans down and smells her hair, but he can't identify the smell and he won't remember it later.

"I'll always come for you," she whispers into his shirt, her hair falling like a curtain over her face and hiding her from sight. He brushes it back and she sits up, her eyes holding his.

He remembers these eyes – the ones that made him curious and intrigued when they sparkled, the ones that made him confused when they were dark and heavy.

She kisses him and her lips are soft and gentle, and his are rough from where he's bitten them, but his arms pull her against his body and he can feel her smiling

When she pulls back and his pushes her hair behind her ear, she smiles sadly.

"It's time to go," she whispers. He sits up and goes wide eyed, his arms falling to her waist.

"It's too soon," he answers back, burying his face in the crook of his neck. "You just got here," as he plants a small kiss on her neck.

She smiles and leans into his kisses. "I have to go. The time difference means its time for me to wake up," she answers him but she leans against his warm body anyway, tugging his arms around her tighter.

"I imagine 500 years would mean we're on different schedules," Sam muttered. He moves away from her and slings his legs over the side of the bed. She stands and moves in front of him. They are nearly at eye height, with him sitting on the bed and her standing, so she doesn't bother to move to catch his eyes.

"I will find you again, qing ren. Just ask, and I will come for you." She kisses him slowly and walks out of the room slowly, her feet bare. When the door is open he can see the blinding light that is where his consciousness will find him and he doesn't watch her leave.

He rubs his eyes and throws his face into the pillow, trying to catch the remainders of her scent. He smiles and chews softly; she has left her bubble gum in his mouth.

-

"Dude!" Sam heard, and opened one eye tentatively. Dean was reading the paper, looking for signs of a case, but had stopped to look at his younger brother with one arched eyebrow.

Sam groaned and yawned, sitting up slowly. Dean laughed and Sam blinked at him, sleepily.

Dean flexed the paper and smiled, shaking his head. "You kept moaning' 'bout some river." Dean's smirk grew and he got that look in his eye that made Sam dread whatever his brother was about to say. "So if you're gonna drop the Mississippi, I suggest you get in that cold shower damn fast." He took a sip of the coffee cup posed next to him and Sam rolled his eyes.

He threw a pillow at Dean and walked into the bathroom, and for once, actually followed his brother's advice.

-x-
She returns often, about once a week. She keeps telling him that there's a time difference; he asks when they can be together and she whispers that time will merge when she gets there.

He doesn't understand; she's smarter than he will ever be and he loves how she understands the universe more than perhaps the universe understands its own laws. She says they'll be together one day, and he believes her.

But sometimes, one day isn't soon enough.

"Madison was pretty," she whispers when he finds her in the cockpit of Serenity. She holds a plastic dinosaur in her hands, not fiddling but laying it in her lap. They belong to a man named Wash, River had told him once.

"How did you know about Madison?" He asks. He moves over and slumps down in the second chair of the cockpit. River liked to frequent it, but she is currently in the main pilot's chair.

"She was in your head. The same place that I come to find you." Sam frowns and pushes his hair out of his eyes, hoping to catch River's gaze, but her brown orbs are firmly fixed on the small orange tyrannosaurus in her hands.

"River," he starts to explain, but she shakes her head. Her long dark strands waved around her face, falling over her shoulders and into her face.

"I'm not physically with you; I cannot satisfy all of your wants and needs." Her voice is hushed and quiet, and she seems tired. He moves over and turns the rotating chair so she must face him, but he just hovers over the chair, so much taller then she is and still she will not meet his eyes.

"River, please, let me explain." He kneels down, and tips her chin upward so her eyes finally find his, and she looks sullen, with dark eyes. She is obviously tired.

Her head shakes and she leans to the side, placing the dinosaur back on the dash. "I understand, but my head cannot rationalize pain my heart feels." He nods, and sits on the ground, pulling up his knees towards his chest and resting his arms on top.

She reaches down and takes one of his hands, then slides down to the floor and moves in between his legs. His arms wrap around her naturally, and she rests her head on his shoulder.

"What can I do to make it better?" His breath is warm on her ear, and she nuzzles the crook of his neck.

"Just don't forget that I'm coming for you." She allows him to pull her body against his, and she rests against him, and together they wait, staving off their inevitable separation and return to their individual worlds.

-x-
Sam and Dean return to a motel after dealing with a particularly unfriendly incubus nest, and Sam feels riled up and agitated. They'd come close to getting killed – as per usual, of course – and the adrenaline is still pumping through his blood. He crashed against the bed, his body wanting more action and his mind wanting unconscious bliss. His mind won, forcing his body to sleep quickly and effectively.

-

He opens his eyes to River hanging over top of him, a soft smile on her lips. She asks no questions and poses no mathematical theories for now. She merely leans down and kisses him, soft and inviting.

He rolls her over on the bed (he's not sure who's world they are in tonight, his or hers but all he can smell a little bit of engine oil in her hair and a soft scent of lilac from the soap she uses and he's stopped thinking about it) and soon they are tugging at each other's clothing and stripping each other.

There is no stopping to ask for permission, no words of worry or concern if this is best. She simply pulls him flush against her and mews softly into his ear, encouraging him to continue venting and releasing his energy into her. Her body fits against his, soft where he is hard, and they rock together quickly, the sweat building between them. They fit together the way man was made to fit against woman, and its not just Sam thinking that there was some greater design into the two of them.

She pushes when he pulls, and they react easily and naturally to each other; understanding perfectly what the other wants and needs. She came here to fill Sam's need, he stays to embrace hers.

He finds her sensitive spots easy, he nibbles against her neck till she gasps, and she brushes her fingers against his nipples until he groans. They search each other's bodies, stopping at nerve points or sensual spots to suck, nibble, kiss and lick.

His hunger for her isn't satisfied, and the heat she feels from his touch doesn't fade. Neither ever has to make a request for 'faster' or 'harder' or to switch positions. They are in perfect unison; their bodies cannot make love, but their minds will meld and merge together to allow them the release it provides all the same.

It is fast, and at times slow; rough and then gentle; all of their urges and desires satisfied except for the pure desire for the other's touch. They don't need breaks – their minds do not care for such distractions. Tonight, they lose themselves in each other.

-x-

Sam walks through the cargo bay of Serenity and down to River's room, his explanation running through his head. He knows why she has not come to see him recently; he knows why she hasn't been easy to find when he sought her. He's aware of what he's done wrong and what she knows, and he's fully ready to apologize.

She is sketching on her bed, coloured pencils laid out alongside her in order according to their hue numbers (not alphabetically or even in colour co-ordination, but by hue number as is proper, River would tell him).

"River, baby, I am so sorry, I swear Bela doesn't mean anything and it was just stupid lust and I swear-" he begins when he stands in front of her. She looks up and laughs, her long dark hair falling around her.

"Sam, it's fine, I know." His brow wrinkles and his puppy dog eyes appear, and her smile grows.

She pulls him down to sit on the bed and rests her hands on his shoulders, massaging gently. "Bela used the silene capensis on you to play with your mind – make it easier to confuse you, so you would let her work with you and then she stole the Colt."

He sighs, presses his forehead to hers for a moment, and then pulls back. "Wait- how do you know that's what Bella did?"

River blinks.

Sam smiles and kisses her softly. "Sorry baby, it's not like I spend all my time with mind readers."

She shrugs and he kisses her neck slowly. She leans against him, one hand on top of his thigh, the other entangling with one of his.

"Can you feel it?"

He raises an eyebrow. He's never been as in tune with her universe as she seems to be with his, he's never been as controlled and without limits as she is.

"I'm close. I'm on my way now, Sam. I will be there soon," she whispers against him, and he buries his nose in her hair, grinning like a little kid in a proverbial candy store.

"How soon is soon?" He whispers.

"I'll be there as soon as Dean is ready to go." He frowns at this revelation.

"But, he just got back, and it's not like I can just demand him to recover, and what if he doesn't trust you and we'll have to sell the car," Sam answers her, just letting his thoughts spill out – she can hear his mental ranting anyway.

She snorts at the end of his rant. "You won't sell the Impala; she will come with us."

He smiles gently and kisses her cheek, comforted by her omniscient presence within his dream; by the fact that he hates the word 'hell' since Dean got back, that he doesn't like peas and that he'll never have to tell her how totally in love he is with her.

They sit in silence and wait for them to awaken, smiles on both of their faces.

-x-

They are in an empty field, this time. She is laying down, a sundress around her and her arms tossed carelessly behind her head.

Her grin is evident, and he feels happy to be lying next to her.

"I felt you yesterday, for the first time." He nuzzles into the side of her neck, taking in her smell, one arm thrown lazily over her torso.

"We're close." She answered, a perfect explanation as always.

"Very close," he whispered.

"I hope you're packed," she replies. "Dean, too." She rolls onto one side, facing him.

"I haven't told him we're leaving." He strokes from one him to the small of her back, and then back again.

"If you wait, we can tell him together." He nods and she kisses him slowly.

"No more dreams," she whispered.

"I like dreaming with you," he answered back, planting a soft kiss underneath each of her cheekbones.

"Would you prefer we stayed apart and only dreamed, then?" She asks, amused. He loves seeing her like this – so relaxed and carefree, which is unusual for her lately.

"If it was all I had, I'd take it," he answered, laying flat back down in the grass. She rests her head on his chest, her dark hair flowing over his body freely. "But I'll give up dreaming with you if it means I get to hold you when I wake up."

She grins, "You'll never have to wake up without me anymore, soon." River smiles and he runs a hand through her hair.

"Soon." He repeats, and when consciousness drags him back to the real world, it doesn't seem nearly as bleak as it did some past days.

-x-

The rumble of an engine drew Dean, Sam and Bobby outside the salvage yard, looking to see what caused the noise. Dean arched an eyebrow as the dust was kicked up around them, and a large yellow vehicle – some kind of mutant ATV came driving straight towards them.

Bobby nearly choked when a young, lithe woman jumped from the still moving ATV, and ran clear over to the three men. She threw herself up and into Sam's arms, who caught her with ease, the biggest smile he'd ever had on his face. He held her against him until he pushed her back to take her in with his eyes.

"You made it," he said, breath caught in his throat.

"You doubted me?" River answers, wiggling her bare toes against the rough ground.

"Never, baby. Never." Sam claimed her lips with his own, and instantly knew he would never settle for dreaming again.