1. Her mouth

Jackie was not impressed. She helped save all the universes from a bunch of pepper pots and what does the Doctor do? Give her hug and a cup of tea thanks? Noooooooooooooooo, instead he left her on a beach stranded with her confused daughter and his clone.

Great just great.

"I have a bone to pick with you Mr I'm-The-Human-One, why the bloody hell did you have to leave us here? And what happened to a simple thank you? I sacrificed my life to help and instead I get insulted about my driving!" she ranted.

The clone looked unimpressed. "Well aren't you all high and mighty" he sneered. "If you had forgotten I'm the clone, I didn't leave you here that was the twit in the brown suit; get your eyes tested Blondie! Also it was the twit in the brown suit that insulted you; I was busy talking to Donna. Maybe for your birthday I should buy you an eye test voucher"

Jackie was gobsmacked, usually the Doctor would have paled or edged away in fear of a slap while rambling apologies. This one had a little more fire, spirit, backbone...

She could get used to this version.

2. Shopping

Rose was surprisingly bored. Usually she had adored shopping, especially dragging the Doctor along when she was younger and had full advantage of his psychic paper to use as a credit card. Usually then the Doctor was whinging and dragging his feet like a three year old but this one, the human one...

Well the tables turned after the fiftieth shop and he was still comparing ties, asking which ones were his colouring and which one is cheaper than the other. She was bored to tears and was beginning to drag her feet like a three year old as she pleaded the Human Doctor to go to a cafe.

"Not yet Rosie love, I want to check out that shoe sale over there"

3. Love of Pringles

"Hey Doctor do you know where my file on the Sontarans went....what the hell?"

Rose stood there shocked as she saw the mess in the Human Doctor's room; the whole floor was littered with empty Pringles' tubes. The Human Doctor himself was lounging on his bed while eating Pringles slowly.

"Oh hello Rose!" he said cheerfully. "Don't mind me, it's that time of the month when I get my Pringles craving, only I wasn't so sure which flavour is the best because you know, different reality, different Pringles so I had to have them all and determine which ones I should eat in the future"

"What happened to bananas and marmalade?" Rose asked weakly, shocked at the mess and the amount the Human Doctor consumed.

The Human Doctor wrinkled his nose. "That's what Space-Boy eats, awful stuff. You know I had to clean up the kitchen after his last marmalade craving and I had to chase after a hyper Time Lord"

Rose wondered why he was talking about himself in third person but decided it was just another Donna quirk.

4. Hats

"Remind me again why you need an empty hat box"

"Planet of the hats! Here I come!"

Rose just sighed.

5. Hair care

Rose was tapping her feet impatiently, she and the Human Doctor had agreed on going to a nightclub that had recently opened while she had been ready for over half an hour and the Human Doctor was still in the bathroom doing his hair.

Jesus Christ he had short hair, why the hell did he need to wash it five times, then blow dry it, then straighten it and then start messing with mousse and gel?

"Come on Doctor! We're supposed to have gone half an hour ago!" she shouted through the door.

"I'm trying to find a good hair clip that will match my outfit!" he shouted back.

Rose blinked...what did he say?

6. Drinking

"Blimey Doctor how much have you drunk?" Rose asked as she held onto the Human Doctor's waist to keep him balanced.

He was swaying far too much and was very likely to trip over nothing any minute now.

"Jusht enough to ake em eel better" he slurred. "I'm worth nothing Rosh, my mummy thinksh I'm orthless and I'm jusht a temp"

Tears built up in his eyes and Rose wiped them with her sleeve. "No you're not" she whispered. "You're Donna Noble, most important woman of all creation"

He then puked all over her brand new shoes.

7. Love for strong, handsome, charming men

Rose stood there in shock at first she thought she should be upset or angry or heartbroken or something! But this man wasn't the man she loved, the man she loved wasn't like this man who was a little camp when she thought about it and more like Donna – a best friend than the Doctor – a love interest.

But still!

The sight of the Human Doctor snogging Jack – parallel, they met last week when he almost crashed into Big Ben with his drunk driving – both shirtless and looking rather good. She felt anger but not at them.

She was angry at the Time Lord Doctor for not realising how different his Human counterpart would be. She had a feeling Donna wasn't herself, which meant Wilf and Sylvia would be worrying...

"Hem, hem. Kindly keep sexual practises outside of the offices, we might be a secret agency but we still like to be professional" she said in her best 'snotty' voice as Jackie and the Human Doctor labelled it.

The two men tore apart in shock.

"Oh shit" the Human Doctor said. "Look Rose, I'm sorry about this it's just-"

"It's ok" Rose said. "No one can resist Jack Harkness besides we got bigger things to worry about"

"Eh?" the Human Doctor looked confused and lost.

Rose suddenly grabbed hold of his ear and began dragging him out of the office. "first we need to save the world from some car-thieving blowfishes, then we're going to have a long talk about why having sex in my office is wrong and then we're going to fix the dimension cannon and check on Donna and your Time Lord self because something isn't right about this at all!"