Moment to Seize
I don't love you. RYOSAKU
.
.
.
The Sun was shining. And it was a good day.
.
.
.
She ripped out her hair and consequently, her scalp. Afterwards, Sakuno aimed for her knees, kicking them to the side, making her trip onto the pavement. There was a moment for exhilarating, sort of rushed excitement that made Sakuno tingle. Her hands were shaking.
Sakuno took out her tennis racket.
She felt so alive! Did she ever feel this alive?
The girl was shaking. Sakuno approached.
I want to hit her. I want to hit her.
Bash her face, Sakuno wanted to whisper.
I love you.
Bash it.
The girl screamed and Sakuno jammed her racket into her stomach, twisting it until it was like a swirl on top of an ice cream. It dug deep- making red indian marks. It was when Sakuno tugged her racket out, with some difficulty, that sanity returned.
I'm scared.
Of you.
.
.
.
Sakuno woke up the next day, clutching her heart, feeling that it was just as heavy as it was before.
.
.
.
"A party?"
Sakuno looked up at the invitation Tomoka had offered.
Tomoka looked guilty, as she had to the right to, "It's for the Tennis Club... you know."
There was a moment of silence. Tomoka was shuffling her feet nervously as Sakuno only jerked her hand a little.
Sakuno finally shook her head, "I have homework, sorry."
"Ah... I see," Tomoka said, "That's too bad."
"Yes," Sakuno said curtly, "It is."
It was awkward. Tomoka smiled politely before leaving the classroom entirely.
She used to stay, Tomoka did. If things weren't the way they were, Tomoka would've do anything in her power to get Sakuno out of the house and into the social life. Anything. Promises of free lunches, shopping sprees-- Tomoka was a good friend like that. She always worried about Sakuno.
Sakuno stared at her hands and clutched them. Her back was hung over.
If only things weren't the way they were.
.
.
.
In her day dreams, people would ask Sakuno what she liked best about Echizen Ryoma. When she would answer, Ryoma is by her side, holding her hand with a slight smirk.
She would stutter, she always did, "I-I don't know."
"Come on," That person would say wickedly, "What do you like best about Echizen Ryoma?"
There would be so much to say, so much to say about Echizen Ryoma. He's everything. Everything. I love him so much. He loves me. I feel safe. He's handsome. He's talented. He's confident. He smiles at me-- with love.
I don't feel ugly.
He doesn't make me feel ugly. I want to grin and show off my teeth, even though I know I'm ugly when I do.
"He's," Sakuno would smile, "He's everything."
Later Ryoma might take her out to lunch and he might hold her close, pressing their foreheads together in that simple close moment. She might close her eyes, because Sakuno gets nervous around Ryoma.
I love him.
.
.
.
A deep, warm feeling over came Sakuno.
.
.
.
Three years later and they are about to graduate. She stops at the tennis courts and tries not to look like she's searching for him.
Sakuno continued walking. Her posture as perfect as it could be.
A loud applause gave Sakuno the excuse to glance over again, and he was smirking.
He's there, oh God, he's there.
He looks as handsome as he did yesterday. He leaned out, if possible. Grew stringy muscles and a few inches. His hair was short, clipped to his ears, but still managed to get in his eyes never the less.
Sakuno's heart stopped.
But he wasn't smirking at her, he was facing the audience, giving them the cocky show he always did when he won. No words, but slinging his racket over his shoulder and smirking because he knew he was too good.
The girl ran to him then, a towel in one hand and a drink in another. Ryoma took the things from her without question. He wrapped the towel around his neck and took a gracious gulp of Ponta.
They were talking. The girl was chastising him for something and Ryoma only smirked back before replying.
Sakuno's heart stopped. But it felt different.
.
.
.
"You should come," Horio insisted, "It's the last party of the year, you know."
His presence reminded Sakuno of Tomoka, which also reminded her that she never had many friends.
She always thought as long as she had Tomoka, she would be okay.
"I have homework," Sakuno replied.
Horio sighed, not bothering to hide his frustration.
He visited her sometimes, Sakuno was sure it was out of pity, as he used to be a close friend of Sakuno's. Among other things.
"It's going to be a pretty big party," Horio said, "You probably won't even see her."
Sakuno's mind flashed to the girl, seeing her smirking with Ryoma over a good game of tennis.
Nothing was said and Sakuno closed her bag.
"Come for me," Horio gently said.
"No.
Horio looked genuinely hurt, "Sakuno, it's not that big of a deal. Hey, we can even get back at him, you know?"
He was trying to cheer her up.
Horio continued, "We can come in hand and hand-- wouldn't that be awesome. We can even wear matching colors, too! Show him whose boss!"
She pictured Ryoma hurt that she moved on. She pictured herself in a pretty dress and laughing and having a good time. She pictured shaking the girl's hand and talking pretty memories with her and Ryoma in to some how proved she how close they once were.
The idea was tempting.
It was barely agreed to,
"Okay."
.
.
.
In her day dreams, someone would ask how Sakuno would feel if Ryoma went out with some one else.
The idea was out of the question, far than rhetorical.
.
.
.
It was a bad idea.
"So I hear you're going with Horio," Tomoka curtly said. For the first time in the year she sat next to Sakuno. It was before class.
Sakuno immediately looked down to her lap.
Tomoka scoffed, "What are you going to say to that?"
"He asked me," whispered Sakuno.
"Oh, that's great," Tomoka said, "Of course, he would ask. And of course, you had to say yes."
"He..."
"What- What- no, don't say anything. God, Sakuno. What are you trying to do?"
There was silence.
"What about your homework."
Sakuno was expecting this one.
"I finished it early." Lame excuse.
Tomoka laughed, "That's great. That's just great."
"He asked me to come for him," Sakuno couldn't look Tomoka in the eye, "H-He didn't want to go alone to the dance."
"That's rich," Tomoka sarcastically raised her hands, "Horio can't go to a tennis club event alone, boo hoo-- Douche."
"Don't call him that," Sakuno whispered.
"A what."
"..."
"A what, Sakuno. Answer me."
Sigh.
"I'm tired of every one playing victim," Sakuno mumbled. She had the urge to look up at Tomoka, "You and Horio. I didn't want to go to the party, but-"
The topic wasn't about the tennis party anymore.
Tomoka stood up, "Excuse me? What did you do to be victim?"
"I-I was the one who..." Sakuno stuttered, "He was the one who ask-"
"No," Tomoka defiantly said, "God, that's not how it works, Sakuno! You can't do this!"
"..."
"I liked him," Tomoka spat, "God, to remember those days when you begged me not to hang out with Ryoma kun."
Tomoka said his name with mock appraise, but it didn't make Sakuno feel any better.
Instead she looked out the window and saw cars drive by, then, wishing desperately to jump out, and land crashing.
.
.
.
Ryoma once said she was pretty.
It was an off hand comment, something that would be brushed off if said by any one other than him.
"My hair is messy," Was what Sakuno said as she was looking at the mirror.
Ryoma's reflection shrugged next to hers'. He was looking at her through the mirror, something Sakuno noticed.
"Maa."
Sakuno's face fell and Ryoma had a feeling he said something wrong.
"Should I cut it?"
She was looking at Ryoma, as he was looking at her through the mirror.
A long pause, "Tch, you don't need to."
Sakuno was honestly surprised, "But you always said..."
Ryoma shrugged again, "That was when you played tennis. You gave up."
She made an "O" out of her mouth and understood. Then stared at her reflection like looking at something a new.
"It's pretty," Ryoma dryly continued.
"Thank you."
.
.
.
Before the party, before Horio picked her up-- Sakuno cut her hair.
.
.
.
Horio was, sadly, on time.
"Woah," He said once Sakuno opened the door, "That's a change."
Sakuno played with her hair, thinking she looked cute. She probably did.
"Is it?"
"Yeah," Horio grinned, "You look really cute."
That was it, and Sakuno grinned. Horio gladly guided her to the car. She convinced herself that Horio didn't look too bad, either. He cleaned up well, but one could tell he was a hard worker, silly perhaps and not skilled, but very much experienced.
"We'll probably be a few minutes late, but that's when all the cool people show up, anyways," Horio shrugged, "Watch the mess."
He dutifully opened the car door for Sakuno. There were litters of empty fast food bags and some forgotten school papers folded and pressed to the floor. The mess was so Horio-esque that Sakuno couldn't help but smile.
"Oh, it's alright," Sakuno smiled politely as she scooted into the passenger's seat.
"Yeah?" Horio grinned.
His smile was contagious, especially since Sakuno hadn't had a smile towards her in a while, "Yes, I've rode in worst."
"Do tell."
"Oh yes," Sakuno openly laughed, " In Ryoma kun's car-"
Horio sucked in a breath. His and Sakuno's body froze.
What Sakuno was going to say, was in Ryoma's car, there were empty tennis cans every where, it was quite silly. It was also something Sakuno could vividly remember. The last time she rode in Ryoma's car, it was silent, the only sound was the road, but even that didn't cut the tension.
The only thing Sakuno could ever pay attention to was the empty, plastic containers of wasted tennis at her feet.
"Pull in your dress," Horio gently said. He made sure to shut the door carefully.
.
.
.
In her dreams she is killing herself, perhaps Ryoma would miss her then.
.
.
.
Sakuno imagined ranting to Horio, crying out all her fears to him. What if they stare? You know what happened right? Do you think he remembers? What do you think he would wear? Ryoma didn't always care for clothes. Some times Sakuno thought he would show up to his own wedding in tennis clothes if he could.
Somehow Sakuno smiled at that. So much to say.
But she didn't speak, so they drove in silence for the first few minutes.
Then the scenery became familiar, and she looked at Horio with a slight alarm in her voice,
"Where is the party?"
He visibly stiffened, she saw.
"Echizen's house."
"Oh."
She was worried. That house.
"It's really nice," Horio said, "His dad just got it remodeled a few months back."
"Did he?" Sakuno tried to chuckle, "Did they put in a library?"
Horio scoffed, "What?"
"Ryo-" She couldn't say it, "He always told me how he wanted a library."
Laughing, Horio failed to hide his obvious disbelief. Sakuno understood, Ryoma wasn't the type of person you would expect to visit a library, much less build one in his own house.
"I don't think Echizen has enough books to fill a room with."
Sakuno with hidden urgency, said, "He used to have books all over his room, remember?"
Horio was strangely quiet, "Oh yeah, I remember that."
That was enough, any more than Sakuno would've cried her words. She looked out the window and dreaded the ride in silence.
"Do you want to go home?" Horio whispered.
"I'm already here," Sakuno chuckled, "I... I might as well."
He turned on the radio and let the music fill in the silence.
Later Sakuno would learn that a separate bedroom was in place of a library.
.
.
.
I love him, I really do. I feel selfish because if any one were to be with him, I wouldn't be happy.
I would cry, because he's supposed to be mine. Every one, said it, didn't they?
A prince and his princess.
A perfect couple.
We were meant to be, weren't we?
I would've accepted you! I would've loved you!
You were mine!
Don't. Don't fall in love with her. She likes tennis, but so do I! She can talk to you, and understand you, but I can learn too!
I love you.
We were fine, together, weren't we?
You make me feel pretty. I feel happy around you. I can say whatever I want.
And you would still love me, right?
No one makes me feel so special.
I love you-
You liked me too, right?
Ryuuzaki, shut up.
.
.
.
In the mirror of her room, Sakuno felt ugly.
.
.
.
Before Ryoma and Sakuno broke up, she didn't care how she looked like.
Now, standing in a room mingled with tennis legends and amateurs alike, Sakuno couldn't help but feel even more self conscious.
The room didn't erupt in silence with her presence, which was fine. There were a few whispers, but most of them came from the the cheer team, whom, in the middle of Tomoka sat. Sakuno avoided her gaze. Horio helped.
A part of her wished.
A part of Sakuno wished someone would pick a fight with her. Maybe she could be victim, maybe she could prove she was the one hurting all this time! It was unfair!
Horio ushered her further into the house.
Oh God.
It was different. They certainly did more than add an extra room. There were different furniture, even. The layout virtually stayed the same, but it was like a different family had moved in all together. The pictures were changed, from Ryoma as a child to him reluctantly smiling as a man. The vase- the one his mother liked was different. Even the smell.
Sakuno gulped a cry. It was all too sudden. Everything she knew about the house was gone and replaced it was a different being.
It smelled different.
"Horio, you came."
She fought with herself if to make eye contact or not.
In the end, it didn't matter because Horio half hid her behind his back.
"Feh, of course!" Horio loudly exclaimed, "And why wouldn't I come, Fuji senpai!"
Fuji chuckled, "I think we're a little too old for those kinds of... endearments."
Horio scoffed, "You talk as if I call you senpai because I like you."
Again, Fuji laughed at the indirect insult. Sakuno felt her heart tighten. Has it been so long since she's seen anyone from Seigaku laugh?
She heard an intake of breath, and knew immediately that Fuji had seen her.
Most of her body was covered by Horio's body, and she didn't have the courage to look over. But Fuji's tone had said enough. It made looking at Horio's back seem so much more vivid.
"Well then," Fuji said, "Enjoy yourself."
His tone was indifferent and coldly polite, Sakuno could only cringe.
Horio took a deep breath, "We will."
As soon as he left Horio let out a long sigh, "Ah! That guy is so scary!"
"Horio..."
He tried to smile at her, but it didn't meet his eyes, "Listen, Sakuno, if there's anything my years of tennis experience has taught me-- is that you must never show the enemy your weakness!"
Sakuno attempted a laugh. He was honestly trying. She guessed he looked kind of cute, scratching his head at her sheepishly.
"So..." Horio muttered, "I'm going to go get us some drinks, okay?"
Her face must've shown obvious alert to this because Horio suddenly looked worried.
"A-Ah you could come with me, if you want," Horio quickly said.
"Okay," Sakuno replied.
She didn't feel her feet move, but Horio's comforting hand helped her somehow make it from the living room to the crowded kitchen. Somewhere she could faintly see Marui Bunta, eating cupcakes and Kintarou was waving at her. She would've laughed, but for some reason it didn't feel right.
Atobe raised a curious eyebrow at her and took a sip of wine. Kawamura quickly left the kitchen. Ann Tachibana followed.
"Here we go," Horio said, "You want soda?"
"Lemonade," Sakuno said absentmindedly.
"There's no lemonade."
"Oh."
Horio shot her a look and then said, "Oh! I think, uhm, I saw Ann take the last lemonade. Rotten luck."
She looked grateful, enough.
Sakuno ended up drinking Ponta, which Horio regretted giving her, but she gave him a sweet smile and politely took the drink. They stood for a bit in the kitchen, each filling silences with sips of sodas.
Then, he found a familiar face, "Oh snap. I need to go say a greeting to our host..."
Freezing, Sakuno kept her voice even, "Is he here?"
"Almost," Horio whispered back, "Stay here, okay?"
Sakuno nodded and Horio gave her a gentle smile and patted her back. He walked past her. A few seconds later, Sakuno could hear loud greetings.
"Yo, Echizen!"
"Horio."
"Nice party."
"Thanks."
"Aah, but you could tell it's totally amateurish. You know you should've asked me to help set up, I can teach you a thing or two, you know."
"Huh."
He sounded annoyed, Sakuno almost giggled. But she found that her body was trembling instead. Her back was still facing the two, but by now she was looking at the floor.
Suddenly, she felt regret at cutting her hair.
.
.
.
"Ryoma kun, are you awake?"
Ryoma groaned and turned on his side. He weakly opened he eyes.
"Tch," He grabbed her by her stomach and spooned himself to her, "Go back to sleep, Ryuuzaki."
"I-I can't, I need to leave soon."
He grunted and then started kissing her neck. Then his hand reached across her bare stomach and he gently massaged there.
"Ryoma kun," Sakuno gasped.
"Mada Mada Dane," Ryoma smirked. His voice echoed along her skin. It gave Sakuno goosebumps.
.
.
.
Maybe she should move, Sakuno thought, but would he notice her that way? All Echizen Ryoma would have to do is look past Horio and see her standing there, dumbly in his kitchen. Sakuno was too scared to even move to set her drink down.
Oh my, oh my.
He would notice, for sure, not that it was a big deal.
Maybe if she moved quickly enough, Ryoma wouldn't notice her. Horio's gentle voice was the last thing on her mind and Sakuno had just begun to move.
Maybe Kintarou would notice her. He was known for his loud voice cutting through even the loudest of rooms, perhaps he would notice her and save her with the excuse of wanting to catch up. She prayed. Ryoma would notice, but imagine his face when she is dragged off with none other than Kintarou!
Bad thoughts.
Evil thoughts.
Sakuno inwardly groaned.
Maybe Horio spiked her drink and she had a headache, then she could leave with the excuse that her date drugged her.
Maybe she could faint and someone can say, "Oh no! Poor child, why would she faiint?"
Ryoma would notice her and be saddened? He might even be the one to catch her.
Ryoma.
Sakuno dropped her drink.
"Sakuno?"
Horio's face looked worried, but she was breathing too fast. It was too sudden.
"Sakuno!"
With each gulp of air, Sakuno felt the stale taste to her tongue. It made her suffocate, and begged her for entrance.
The house didn't smell the same.
Two skinny arms supported her.
"Woah there, chill out!"
No, Sakuno's eye widened.
Not you.
The girl grasped Sakuno's shoulders supported her weight.
"You alright?" She looked worried, "Hey Ryo kun! Get her something, will ya?"
Ryo kun.
Sakuno choked.
She shook her head furiously. People started to gather around the spectacle.
"No, no, no," Sakuno whispered and she smiled politely, "I'm fine."
The girl frowned and felt Sakuno's forehead, "You sure? You turned pale as a sheet there."
"I'm fine."
"No, really. I know how these things go sometimes. The last time we had a party here-"
We. We. They had a party. Oh my God.
"- And he threw up!" The girl finished, "Don't worry, you can use the spare room."
A spare room, Sakuno inwardly cried, "Please, please don't do this."
"It's no problem," The girl said, "Ryo kun! What are you doing? Come help her, already!"
"I can do it," Horio insisted, "Give her to me."
The girl joked, "You sure you're sober."
Horio laughed, it was real and hearty, "God, one time."
"One time was enough, Mr. I-am-an-experienced-drinker."
"Oh har, har."
Laughter.
They were having joyful banter, Sakuno moaned. Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.
"Traitor," Sakuno said.
It left her mouth before she could even think about it.
Someone looked hurt and another was shocked, every one else, Sakuno thought, looked all the same.
They were all the same.
It hurts.
Sakuno clutched her chest.
It hurts.
.
.
.
It was when the rumor got about that Sakuno cheated on Ryoma did the Seigaku Regulars stopped talking to her.
It was only a rumor. Inui high doubted it was true which gave the Seigaku Regulars some hope.
But when Sakuno and Ryoma broke up, she left his world, completely.
You wouldn't avoid someone unless you believed you did something wrong, right?
.
.
.
Tomoka was a good friend, despite what others assumed. So she was there when Sakuno was in the kitchen. Tomoka was there to drag Sakuno's limp body out towards the front yard, and there they sat.
"God, not even five minutes," Tomoka snapped, "And you have an attention break down."
"Tomoka," Sakuno moaned.
"Hush," Tomoka quickly said, "Ah, but this might be my fault more than Horios'... I invited you too, after all.."
"Yeah."
Tomoka didn't look amused, "So you agree it's my fault."
"Yes- No, I mean," Sakuno mumbled, then she cradled her head, "My head hurts."
Sighing loudly, Tomoka said, "Why did you come, Sakuno? Are you here to win him back?"
"N-No! Horio invited me-"
"Sakuno," Tomoka snapped, "Cut the bullshit."
"I-I..." Sakuno's eyes started to blur.
"God, don't cry," Tomoka moaned, "Oh my God..."
"H-He... I wanted to look okay," Sakuno reached for her now short hair, "I wanted to see every one again."
"You cut your hair," Tomoka said. For a girl with the sharpest vision, it's amazing she didn't notice before, "You were here to show him you moved on, huh."
When Sakuno didn't reply, it was an obvious "yes".
"Well then, what the hell was that," Tomoka yelled, "Oh right, showing him you moved on by having a breakdown in his flippin' kitchen it gonna change everything- Christ!"
They were silent for a while. Sakuno was shivering. She didn't realize it was cold.
"Just go," Tomoka breathed, "Just leave."
She wanted to, oh my, Sakuno just wanted to get up and leave.
But one look at Tomoka's face stopped her.
"Tomoka?"
"What," Tomoka snapped.
"Why are you crying?"
.
.
.
Sakuno writes and rewrites mental letters that she would imagine sending to Ryoma one day. They're often very bitter, but some of them are quite honest.
I love you, so I can't get over you. You're not some crush I can just throw away.
Please understand that.
She doesn't think he will.
.
.
.
"I'm not crying!" Tomoka yelled. She furiously tried to wipe her face, "Just go, already!"
"Tomoka..."
"Leave," Tomoka snapped, "I don't want to see your face!"
They were best friends once, Sakuno remembered. The brave, loud girl and and shy, quiet one. Two opposites joined by common interests and simple understanding. Sakuno thinks she loved Tomoka, once. A sister to make things better-- and worst.
"You used to walk away when you got angry at me," Sakuno said softly, "You said you didn't want to snap at me."
"That was when we were ten," Tomoka rolled her eyes, "I'm snapping at you now, aren't I?"
Because you want me to go away, Sakuno thought. Because you might say something hurtful, again.
That was a long time ago, when Sakuno passively accused Tomoka of hanging out with Ryoma after the breakup. Tomoka got upset, and screamed at Sakuno with some unforgivable words.
They never made up again, did they?
No, Tomoka was never one to apologize, but Sakuno was the one who understood when Tomoka was sorry.
At least, she used to.
Tomoka. Tomoka. Tomoka.
Smile for me, Sakuno!
He's just a dumb boy, he doesn't know any better!
It's not the end of the world, it's okay-- I'll still be here!
Sakuno, smile.
Sakuno!
Where was she, where was Tomoka?
In front of her, Sakuno saw a broken girl, someone who lost their best friend to self pity. She was skinnier, come to think of it, and when did Tomoka let her hair become so long?
When did this happen?
Tomoka. Tomoka. Tomoka chan.
"Tomoka chan," Sakuno cried.
"What," Tomoka said, "Don't try those tears on me, it's not going to work."
"When did your hair get so long?" Sakuno asked.
"Wh-"
But Sakuno couldn't stop, "When did Tomoka chan start swearing? How come you look skinnier? Where is your necklace I gave you?"
"Sa-Sakuno, stop asking such things," Tomoka said.
"No! What happened to you," Sakuno cried, "You're not the same. You're not eating healthy, are you?"
There was a flash of something like hope, but Tomoka crushed it, "No, no you're not allowed to do this, Sakuno! Don't just act like you care, now! Not now! Not ever! Don't do this to me, Sakuno!"
"Tomoka chan," Sakuno cried, "What happened!"
"You happened!" Tomoka cried, "You decided it was okay to leave me! You left, Sakuno! You left, not me!"
"But you-"
"No!" Tomoka screamed, "Not me, Sakuno, not me."
All that was there was Tomoka's harsh breathing and Sakuno sobbing. She had never seen Tomoka so furious in her life.
"I-I'm sorry," Sakuno quivered.
Tomoka looked with a blank face and suddenly she was so tired.
"I couldn't talk to you anymore, Sakuno. You just didn't want to do anything," Tomoka said. Her body was looking so frail, it gave Sakuno a desperate instinct to comfort.
"I was sad," Sakuno said, "He loved me and-"
"God, Sakuno, don't you get it?" Tomoka sounded desperate, "It wasn't just you!"
"Tomoka chan?"
Tomoka buried her head, "Ryoma asked me about you, a few weeks afterwards. He asked me if you were okay, my God, what can I say to that, you know? You ignored me most of the time and if not, you were sleeping. It was like nothing mattered to you anymore."
Sakuno looked shocked, "Ryoma kun ... asked about me?"
Tomoka scoffed, "Yeah. He seemed pretty genuine about it, too. You were probably like, his little sister, you know?"
Uncharacteristically, Sakuno was bitter, "Brothers don't have sex with their sisters."
It was silent.
Then,
"What!!!" Tomoka screamed, "You're lying!!!"
Sakuno flushed and looked at her feet, "Well..."
"Well what?!" Tomoka cried, "Why didn't you tell me?! Oh my God, Sakuno!"
"It's... embarrassing," Sakuno muttered, "It was weird..."
"Weird..." Tomoka whispered, "Weird... how?"
"Well..." Sakuno was very uncomfortable, "When it happened I could see his cat over his shoulder and I started laughing during the..."
"Oh," Tomoka chuckled, then giggled, then she started laughing.
So, Sakuno started laughing too.
And pretty soon they leaned on each other for support, laughing at Ryoma, at Sakuno, at Tomoka, they laughed because for some reason it felt okay. They laughed at Horio and Sakuno's hair. All the relief and stress that were on their shoulders wasn't as heavy anymore, not when the leaned on each other.
.
.
.
They laughed themselves to exhaustion and eventually sat quietly. They looked up to the sky, something they sometimes did as a children.
"Are you okay, now?" Tomoka asked.
Sakuno twirled her short hair, "It's fine."
Tomoka didn't look convinced.
Sakuno shyly laughed, "Yeah, it hurts. Some times I just want to crawl up in a hole."
"I know that feeling," Tomoka nodded thoughtfully, "You know what you need? A vacation. Lord knows I'm overdue for one."
"It's still school, Tomoka chan," Sakuno smiled.
"She could always get a hot boyfriend," Horio said dryly.
He squatted on the curb on the other side of Sakuno, careful to avoid eye contact with Tomoka.
"Well, look who decided to drop by," Tomoka said, "What's happening on the inside?"
Horio tried to brush it off, "Aah, it just got awkward. Atobe didn't help, either, he just started laughing."
Tomoka rolled her eyes, "And what about..."
"He's fine," Horio huffed, "He actually asked me to come out here and see if everything was all good-- not that I wouldn't have come out here, myself."
"Thank you, Horio," Sakuno said.
"No problem," Horio grinned, "Gotta look out for one of my ladies, after all."
What he said made Sakuno feel guilty, and it didn't take long for her to remember why.
"Horio," Sakuno said nervously, "About what I said..."
Horio dismissed it, "Don't worry, Sakuno. All is well, besides, the drunk people think that I'm a total player-- more points for me."
Tomoka looked tired, "God, Sakuno! What made you think coming to Echizen Ryoma's house with this guy would make everything better?"
"He would make me laugh," Sakuno said softly, "He would make me laugh a lot."
"Laughter is the best medicine," Horio concurred.
The three chuckled.
"So tell me," Tomoka said to Sakuno, "In this little dream world, what would happen next?"
"What?" Sakuno asked.
Tomoka smiled, "I imagined it. I imagined not talking to you for years and then bumping into you at a supermarket, or something like that. By then we would forget why were even upset at each other. We would make up and every thing would be okay again."
"You dreamed about that?" Sakuno asked shyly.
Tomoka nodded, "Yeah, but in my dreams you were fat."
Horio busted out laughing and Sakuno grinned into her hair.
"I... I used to dream about bad things," Sakuno admitted.
"Like what?" Horio asked, "It's not like you killed anyone, right?"
Sakuno remained silent.
"Oh my," Tomoka giggled, "Sweet Sakuno actually had thought of killing someone?"
Ashamed, Sakuno looked to her feet, "Am I a bad person?"
Tomoka and Horio shared a look.
"Well," Horio said, "It's not like any of us have really been ourselves, lately."
"Every one has issues," Tomoka waved her hand.
Sakuno weakly smiled. "I guess."
"So, you never answered my question," Tomoka kittenishly grinned, "What's gonna happen next?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Horio asked, "She's gonna get a hot boyfriend and get back at Echizen!"
"Oh? And I hope that guy isn't you," Tomoka deadpanned, "Look Sakuno, if you want to make Ryoma jealous, go for Kintarou. It's bound to raise a few eyebrows."
"Not that guy!" Horio belched, "He's so annoying!"
"Sure, he's annoying."
"What's that supposed to mean?! Don't look down on me!"
"I think," Sakuno interrupted, "I think I'm going to open a bakery."
Pause.
"Holy cow, you'll make millions! But leave the business stuff to me. My uncle used to own a shop of his own, so I know a few tricks of the trade."
"God, Horio. Do you ever stop talking about yourself?"
"Hey!"
Sakuno laughed now, more freely and louder than she had in months.
.
.
.
They had more in common than others realized, Sakuno fondly thought. Didn't a situation like this naturally occur? Inside the Echizen house were tennis prodigies, geniuses, and people far skilled than the three of them could possibly hope to obtain. So the three of them sat outside, together, looking at the stars for perhaps another future- a better one.
.
.
.
We could keep trying but things will never change,
so I don't look back.
Still I'm dying with every step I take,
but I don't look back.
… And it hurts with every heart beat...
- Robyn (Every Heartbeat)
.
.
.
April 23, 2009 (2:29 AM)
It's not RYOSAKU, but it is centered around that couple, hence the summary. I honestly just wanted to write a something out of my comfort zone and this was it. I won't lie- I was tempted to change Horio to Kintarou. But in the end, I liked Horio's character so I stuck with him. And here you go.
Thank you for reading- if you did.
This wasn't supposed to be RyoOC or HorioSaku.