Chapter 7 Payback

by LongRider

Author's note: This is a replacement for the original Chapter 7. I wasn't happy with it so I changed it. To Makokam, thanks for the review, but you were right. It wasn't as good as the other chapters. Hopefully this one is.

Derek had been jumping at shadows for a while now.

He remembered a party back in the future. They'd been sat round a barrel of alcohol of some kind, trading jokes, trying to come up with the scariest experience between them. When a very drunk General Conner had told them the scariest thing in the world was his mother, the legendary Sarah Connor, pissed off, with resources and a bare minimum of 4 hours to plan.

Derek knew that Sarah was pissed at him.

He knew she had resources.

It definitely had been longer than 4 hours.

But she hadn't done anything yet. Every time he was in the same room with her she would just smile at him.

It was unnerving. Derek wished she would just get it over with.

xxXxx

It was a quiet weekend for the Connors/Baums.

For once they had no tasks to complete, no leads to follow up. In short, they had to be "normal."

Or as normal as a bunch of time-travelling fugitives with enough ordnance to defend a small country could try to be.

John had been looking forward to a "normal" weekend ever since they moved in.

John liked to people watch. He got a kick out of trying to figure people out from the subtle clues he could pick up when they didn't know they were being observed. It was even better with his family.

Because nobody in this family could admit they didn't know how to do normal.

Cameron would do her statue impression while she stared out the back window. John was convinced she was counting each individual blade of grass.

Sarah would clean the kitchen top to bottom, cook something halfway edible, then clean the kitchen top to bottom again.

Derek would go out for hours at a time. John didn't have a clue what he did in those hours. But when he returned he'd unload and reload every weapon in the house.

Except Derek hadn't got up yet and John was dying to know why.

xxXxx

John nearly choked on his juice when Derek finally came storming in. Stomping his way over to Sarah.

"What the hell is this?" Sarah slowly turned away from the oven. Gave Derek a once-over, then in the voice of an adult explaining to a slow child.

"You have your hands down your pants." How she kept a neutral expression in the face of the furious soldier John would never know.

"You glued my hands to my ass?" Derek was practically whining.

"You can't write on people if you can't hold a pen." Sarah explained completely deadpan. John could see his uncle moving dangerously close to boiling point.

"You think this is funny!" Derek was growing increasingly irate.

"Hey, how long have you been stuck like that?" John couldn't help teasing.

"Woke up this way." Derek explained never breaking his accusing look at Sarah.

"Why does Derek have his hands under his clothing?" Cameron asked from the doorway.

"Mom super-glued his hands to his butt." John quickly filled in while beckoning his cyborg protector to sit down with him and watch.

"How long before it wears off?" Derek groaned in defeat. Sarah had turned back to the oven. Ignoring him.

"Hopefully before you have to pee!" John said cheerfully, then Cameron asked.

"Is it commercially bought glue? Or industrial strength adhesive?" Both John and Derek turned to her.

"What difference does it make?" Derek demanded angrily. John had to cover his mouth to suppress his giggles when Cameron answered.

"Commercially bought glue can be removed any number of ways. Industrial adhesive may require a medical procedure." The way Dereks eyes bugged out at the word "procedure" had John full out laughing.

Derek was now panicking, he knew Sarah had a mean streak a mile wide. But this? She wouldn't, would she?

"Calm down Derek. It's only a couple of layers of skin." Derek turned on John.

"It's a couple of layers of skin. Off my ass." John tried to keep a straight face. He failed.

"Okay so it's your ass. I'm not judging." John noticed his mother shoulders shaking. He wouldn't be surprised if she was biting her lip right now.

"You are being a freak." Cameron spoke up. Not understanding the value Derek placed on his bottom.

"She is, definitely judging." John chuckled as Derek kept changing between glaring at Sarah and talking to John and Cameron.

"Would you two give it a rest. Sarah! I want to know how long." Sarah finally turned around. John could see she'd finally regained some composure.

"I don't know, you'll have to call the manufacturer." Cameron asked the question no-one else dared to ask.

"How?" John was laughing so hard at this point he couldn't sit up straight.

"Someone will have to give him a hand!" He managed to gasp out.