Disclaimer: Don't own South Park.

Cartman was sitting at home alone on his bed. He had no idea how he was gonna get Wendy to date him. And even though he didn't care about Kyle, if Kyle didn't date Stan, then there was absolutely no chance for Cartman to date Wendy.

He heard the garage door open, and then the front door. He figured it was his mom, so he went downstairs to ask when she was making dinner.

Cartman saw a man with a gun in his hand, searching through drawers in the kitchen for money or anything valuable. Cartman tried to keep silent, but he accidently made a small gasp noise, which caused the man to turn, point the gun and shoot.

He dodged the bullet, running upstairs. Cartman ran into his room, grabbing his cell phone and barracading himself into the bedroom.

Locking his door, he flipped open the phone and dialed 9-11. A woman answered.

"9-11, what's your emergency?" Cartman panicked, and whimpered, "Help! There's a guy in my house with a gun and he tried to shoot me!"

The woman responded, "Kid, is this a joke?"

The door then began being pounded on, and then he heard bullets being shot into the hinges. "Please! He's trying to get into my room! Get your bitch ass out of your freakin' head and get some deputies out here! It's 215 Bonanz-"

The door broke open, and the man pointed his gun, and all Cartman remembered was a BANG! and blacking out.

The next morning, Cartman found himself waking up in a hospital, but he struggled to keep his eyes open. Then he realized he was standing up, and staring at his own self, who was sleeping in the white bed.

In the room was Liane, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and...Wendy?

The doctor came in, sighing. Liane moved over slightly to listen to what he had to say.

"I'm sorry...but Eric's in a coma." Wendy looked like she was gonna cry.

"When will he wake up?" asked Liane, but she didn't look the slightest bit sad. "He may never wake up. All we can hope is that he will, and monitor his behavior. But, it is sometimes known that similar things that are from the comatose patient's memory can contribute to comatose patients waking up."

Liane nodded, and then just walked out of the room. The kids raised an eyebrow. "That's a nice mom." said Wendy.

Cartman felt himself fading away. "Hu-huh?" he questioned, realizing that in a matter of seconds, his form would fade completely away.

He tried to yell out. "STAAN! KYYYLE!" No use. "WENDDDY!" Still no response. "KENNNY!" this caused the boy to turn around.

"Did you hear that?" he mumbled.

"Hear what, Kenny?" asked Kyle. "Cartman. I swore I just heard his voice."

And Cartman faded away, and the heart monitor flattened out with a long, piercing beep.