First Captain's Club

Ukitake Jyushiro exhaled sharply, letting the burn of the sake run down his throat. The warming effect the alcohol had on his body was somewhat comforting and helped to dull the pain within his chest. The Thirteenth Division Captain's fuzzy mind referred to him how ironic this was, as he filled his cup once more. Dealing with the constant pain and discomfort his mysterious illness had always granted him with, Ukitake never thought there could be anything more painful to experience.

Never before had he been so wrong; even the pain from losing his vice-captain, Shiba Kaien, could not come close in comparison.

Tears stung his brown eyes once more and he quickly blinked them back. Jyushiro had probably cried enough to fill a lake already, the red puffiness around his orbs a testament to that fact. When the last drop of moisture fell down his cheek earlier that evening, the captain felt even emptier than before and he knew that the dark heaviness within his heart had to be filled.

The sake seemed to be helping, if only a little. The sharp edge of the pain had dulled to something more of what he was used to, more like the illness that still attacked his frail body.

Politely blowing his nose into a tissue, Jyushiro downed another cup of the rice wine, slightly wincing at the burn it still had. His eyes were starting to constantly blur with unshed tears, but he held them at bay, shutting his eyelids and crossing his arms upon the bar before him. The captain bowed his head, further encasing him within darkness as his silvery hair cascaded over his shoulders to hide his face. He bit his lower lip as a few traitorous drops of moisture fell from his lashes to soak into the sleeve of his white haori.

'What am I going to do now?' his mind whispered in misery as his trembling hands balled into fists. 'How can I go on without…?' A small sob escaped his throat; he couldn't even think the name within his mind without breaking down.

"Ukitake-taicho, I didn't think I would run into you at a place like this."

Jyushiro's eyes whipped open at the sound of the smooth, calm voice he knew, causing a few more tears to slide down his already stained cheeks. He immediately turned his head slightly to confirm what his ears had previously told him. "Kuchiki-taicho," he whispered as he caught sight of the Sixth Division Captain. He blinked a moment before hastily wiping away the wetness from his face as the younger man sat beside him. Jyushiro took a deep breath and poured out some sake into his cup before doing the same for the other captain as Kuchiki got his own cup, plastering a fake smile on his lips as he did so.

"What brings you out here, Kuchiki-taicho?" the white-haired man asked as he set down the bottle of rice wine.

Light blue eyes glanced at him for a mere moment before the clan leader picked up his cup. "I could ask the same thing of you, Ukitake-taicho," he stated evenly. "I know that there are other drinking establishments, which are closer to the thirteenth division barracks. By all accounts, this place, the closest to the sixth division, should be far out of your way." Like the overly-polite noble he was, Byakuya slowly sipped his drink until it was gone.

Jyushiro's smile faltered a bit, his brown orbs locking onto the rippling sake in his cup. 'Because I knew he wouldn't be here.' Trying to keep cheerful, he responded with a short, "No real reason, I suppose," before downing the rice wine and forcing himself not to flinch at the burn.

A short silence passed, one where the thirteenth captain could feel those noble eyes upon him, studying his every move, his posture, even watching intently as Jyushiro drank another cup. It seemed to be working for him; his mind was starting to lighten and the pain was going away as a buzz began to hum between his ears.

Byakuya sighed heavily beside him. "What happened, Ukitake-taicho?"

The older man turned to the Kuchiki, raising a dark eyebrow at the serious look upon the other's face. "We're not on duty right now, Kuchiki-san," he said softly, pouring more sake into his cup. "You don't have to address me so formerly."

The younger man glared slightly, dark eyebrows coming together and thin lips curling downward. "You did not answer my question… Ukitake-san. What happened to you?"

Jyushiro looked away, carefully dipping a finger into his cup to swirl the alcohol within it, small smile still on his face. "What makes you think something happened?" he whispered, removing his finger from the liquid and bringing it up to his mouth, where he sucked the flavor from his skin. He quickly swallowed what was within his cup, this time releasing a long breath afterwards and leaning a bit heavier upon the bar.

"For one thing," Byakuya answered, swiftly reaching across the older captain to snatch the half-empty bottle of sake away, "you never drink, Ukitake-san. I thought sake was bad for your illness."

The white-haired man nodded, the liquor really starting to kick in at this point, making him forget just exactly who was sitting beside him. "You would be correct, Byakuya-kun. That's why I always drink tea."

The captain of the sixth division, although a little annoyed at the name the older taicho had given him, placed the bottle down on his other side. "How bad is it for you?"

Jyushiro shrugged a little, running a hand through his silvery mane. "Theoretically speaking… maybe fatal."

"Fatal?!" the Kuchiki said in a surprised tone, blue eyes a little wide as a wave of concern flashed within them.

"Don't worry, Byakuya-kun," Ukitake reassured, although that expression had only warmed him further. "It would probably take a whole bottle before that happened."

A very, very faint pink hue touched the clan leader's cheekbones as he calmed, clearing his throat as he poured a bit of the sake into his empty cup and drinking it with a single gulp. "Are you going to tell me what would make you take such a risk, Ukitake-san?"

Jyushiro remained silent, brown eyes staring intently at his empty cup as the smile slid from his face. How could he say it? Was there any way that the younger man beside him would be able to understand what he was feeling right now? Did he know what this dark emptiness felt like?

Kuchiki sighed again, a hint of defeat within his voice. "I don't understand why you're here, Ukitake-san," he said in a slightly soothing tone. "I saw Kyoraku-taicho walking towards…."

Whatever else the noble said, it was lost to the older man as he flinched at the sound of his name. His hands began to tremble once more as he balled them into fists, the onslaught of pain and utter misery slamming down upon his soul in a single instant. 'The damn sake didn't help at all!' his mind screamed, tears once again coming to his closed eyes.

Byakuya watched his senpai closely, a deep frown touching his lips. "Did something happen between you and Kyoraku-taicho?" he asked gently.

Jyushiro couldn't take it anymore, his body refused to hold these strong emotions at bay any longer and he cried out, causing several of the other patrons in the bar to turn as he screamed, "Shunsui left me!" He broke down into heavy sobs, burying his face within his shaking hands as tears fell uncontrolled from his eyes.

"Kyoraku-taicho left you?" the younger captain questioned genuine surprise within his voice. It had been no secret that the two had been a couple; they'd known each other since their days in the Shinigami Academy, so it only seemed natural after so long. This truly was shocking news to the captain of the sixth division. "What kind of excuse would he have to do so?"

Jyushiro collected himself a little at the question, sniffing and rubbing his eyes to remove more tears as he thought back to the very truthful answer his former lover had given him when he'd asked something akin to that. "Well… do you know about that big party Matsumoto Rangiku put together the other day?" After the younger man's confirming nod, he went on, tears and sobs fighting their way free as he spoke, "S-she had it… and Shunsui went… b-because…. Hitsuguya-taicho finally turned eighteen!" The white-haired captain broke down again, crying into his folded arms on the bar.

It was too new; this feeling of emptiness. He'd been with somebody too long and he didn't know how he was going to survive without the single person who had meant so much to him.

"I'm too old," Ukitake mumbled on, the rice wine loosening his tongue, "that's why he left me. He decided he couldn't be with someone my age anymore, which is why he went to Toushiro-kun! I'm not good enough for him! My illness makes me weak and ugly… and Shunsui just had enough." He cried for a few more moments before a warm hand upon his shoulder made him pause. Blood-shot eyes rose from his arms to gaze curiously at the sixth division captain.

Byakuya's expression seemed… empathetic to the almost-completely-drunk white-haired captain and it made him wonder what the other was thinking.

A small, sad smile slowly spread onto the younger man's lips as soft words left them. "I understand completely where you're coming from, Ukitake-san."