So here it is: another attempt to do a third season of Total Drama with eleven of my favorite campers returning and eleven new ones coming back. Why am I doing this when there are already hundreds of these?
Well, first of all, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Total Drama Comeback 2 from The Kobold Necromancer. In anticipation as to what is going to happen, I developed numerous possibilities in my head. In the end, I realized I had enough to do my own little versions of the sequel to my favorite Total Drama Fanfiction.
Disclaimer – I do not own the characters of Total Drama Island. Teletoon owns them. HOWEVER, I DO own the eleven original characters submitted in this story. Please do not use them in your stories without my permission.
Author's Note – This Fanfiction is dedicated to The Kobold Necromancer in appreciation of everything you have done here on Fanfiction! Thank you The Kobold Necromancer!
Prequel: Entering The Madness
Total Drama Action was finally over! The fourteen campers that had partaken in the show were now free from Chris' evil schemes…or so they thought.
Leshawna was hanging out with her two best friends from the show, Trent and Gwen, talking and laughing about different things that had happened during the second season of Total Drama, like how Chris had gotten jealous of Total Drama Aftermath after it proved to be more successful than the actual show, how Heather kept losing her wig, revealing her bald head, and how the most unlikely of events occurred during the finale of the show when the underdog Harold managed to beat out Duncan to claim the title: Winner of Total Drama Action and the grand prize of $1,000,000.
Trent and Gwen, during this time, managed to make up and agreed to start seeing each other again with a clean slate, forgetting about what had occurred between the two during the second season. They toasted to a fresh new start and shared a kiss to celebrate the moment.
Speaking of kissing, the nearby hot tub was occupied be the series two most popular couples making out vigorously: Bridgette and Geoff being the first and Duncan and Courtney being the second. There was no small talk, no conversation, or flirting: just the two couples in a heavy make-out session, not paying any attention to the other.
Eva just rolled her eyes as she walked by the two couples: she was still fuming over the fact that Courtney, the spoiled little prep girl who was furthest from winning the chance to be on Total Drama Action, was allowed to participate on the show halfway through after seven other contestants were voted off. She felt she should have been on the show instead, being the most skilled and athletic individual on the show. Yet she wasn't even given the chance to prove herself.
"So freakin' unfair," she muttered to herself as she shot glares at Courtney, who didn't notice her.
"Wow…I didn't know you were the kind of person who was into watching others make out," a lazy voice called out behind her.
Eva turned to see Noah sitting a few feet away from her in a lawn chair, reading his favorite novel.
"Shut it, wimp," Eva snorted.
"Sheesh…touchy," Noah scoffed.
"Aren't you?" Eva barked. "This spoiled prep gets to return to Total Drama Action just because she threatens to sue the producers? It ain't fair, I tell ya!"
"What are you complaining about, eh?" came a thick Canadian accent. "I was voted off the first day of the first season. At least you got a second chance at that! I didn't even get that!"
"You deserved it, sexist prairie boy!" Eva snorted. "I'm one of the most threatening challengers to this show! That's why I was voted off so early!"
"You lost, you failed to get in the second season, and it's over. Life goes on! Get over it!" Noah called over, not looking up from his book.
"NO! I WANT JUSTICE! AND I'LL PUMMELL ANYONE IT TAKES TO GET IT!"
"Ooh! We've got a cat fight going on!" an excited voice called out. Then, in an instant, an orange and green blur jumped down from the sky. "Izzy gets to be the judge of the cat fight!"
"Don't do that, eh?" Ezekiel pleaded, trying to find his heart rate after being almost scared to death.
"Aw, Izzy's sorry," she innocently cooed the prairie boy. "Izzy got a little excited when she saw a cat fight about to break out between Eva and Noah and couldn't miss out on what could be the fight of the century!"
"Uh, Izzy, first of all, I don't think Eva does cat fights. She fights to the death," Noah sighed. "Secondly, you need two girls for a cat fight."
"But Noah IS a girl…at least he acts like one," Izzy laughed as she leapt over to Noah and scuffled his hair slightly, much to Noah's annoyance.
"I don't think I'll ever understand that girl, eh?" Ezekiel chuckled.
"Don't talk to me…sexist pig," Eva grunted and walked away.
"Don't think I'll ever understand that one either," he sighed, scratching his head.
Elsewhere, Katie and Sadie were sitting by the pool, watching eagerly as Justin prepared to dive into the pool, almost drooling over the male model as the sun glistened off his bare chest. Justin didn't pay any attention to either of them as he was more focused on his diving form.
Cody was nearby watching Justin as well. The male model dove off the high board and landed the dive perfectly. Katie and Sadie squealed in delight as Justin emerged from the pool, looking even more beautiful with water dripping off his already smoking hot body. This gave Cody an idea. Without saying anything, he raced for the high dive in his swimming trunks and performed a cannonball. He instantly raced out of the water and stood in front of Justin and began to pose for Katie and Sadie.
"What do you think, huh girls? Pretty neat and hot too, huh?"
"Uh, could you, like get out of the way please Cody?" Katie asked as nicely as possible.
"Yeah…you're blocking the marvelous view that is Justin," Sadie replied, swooning at the thought of Justin being wet.
Cody looked shocked and sighed when his plan didn't work. He obliged the girls and unblocked their view of the male model.
DJ was simply lounging near the hot tub, petting Bunny and enjoying the day. He had avoided everyone at the resort as of late due to his conscious eating him from the inside about forming an illegal alliance with Chef. The truth was, no one really blamed DJ for what happened and weren't mad at him in the slightest bit. But DJ didn't believe this for some reason.
Elsewhere, Tyler, Lindsay, and Beth were hanging out and talking up a storm about all sorts of things.
"So are you two going to come up to visit me on my family farm?" Beth excitedly asked Tyler and Lindsay.
"Totally! And you two are definitely coming to visit me at my daddy's millionaire estates in Montreal! We've got a large swimming pool that's, like, SO much bigger than this one! And our own personal chef's that are, like a bazillion times better than Chef! Plus, we've even got a ranch!"
"SWEET!" Tyler exclaimed, seeming excited. "I can't wait to show your family how awesome I am at polo and diving!"
"Great!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"Uh…yeah…sounds fun," Beth uncomfortably chuckled. "Sounds a lot better than tractor rides and camping out."
Lindsay gasped in amazement when she heard this. "You do tractor rides? OH MY GOSH! I have NEVER been on a tractor ride before! Have you Tyler?"
"No way! It sounds like fun!"
"Really?" Beth asked in astonishment.
"Definitely!" Lindsay squealed. "I knew we'd be the greatest bestest best friends ever!"
"Me too!" Beth squealed and gave her friend a great big hug.
Nearby, Heather just scoffed at the scene that fell before her: to be honest, she couldn't have cared less for those three that had screwed her of winning the grand prize on Total Drama Action. It had been down to the final five: Justin, Heather, Courtney, Harold, and Duncan and Chris had given everyone at Playa De Losers 2 the chance to vote someone out of the game. Immediately Beth and Lindsay stated Heather's name and this started a chain reaction that ultimately got Heather voted out of the contest.
"I'll find a way to get even with those two bitches if it's the last thing I do," she muttered to herself.
Finally, Owen and Harold were conversing with one another, talking about how great it felt to be the two winners of the Total Drama contests.
"We so totally owned this game!" Harold wheezed in excitement as he held up his $1,000,000 check proudly. "I'm sorry you lost your prize in attempt to out-skill my mad skills my noble foe."
"Don't worry about it dude!" Owen chuckled happily. "I had a blast! Heck, I almost won again. I think I'm the contestant that has suffered the most days under the cruel hands of Chris and Chef. At least I have bragging rights!"
"Dang, I wish I had bragging rights," Harold sighed. Then, his face lit up instantly. "Oh wait! I do! YES!"
Both Harold and Owen shared a laugh over this.
As the rest of the campers enjoyed their time at Playa de Losers 2, a cold, sudden chill filled the air. The making-out, revenge plotting, Justin ogling, laughing, relaxing, fighting, and conversing instantly stopped as Chris entered the scene, pushing a large television in front of him.
"Oh dear lord. What's that man planning now?" Noah shuddered, looking up from his book.
"Good afternoon campers and cast mates," Chris grinned.
"I'm not giving up my money to try for more!" Harold instantly said, cuddling his briefcase.
"Cool," Chris merely replied. "I wasn't going to give you guys that option anyways."
"Then why are you here?" Gwen asked suspiciously.
"And what's with that television?" Leshawna added in, quirking an eyebrow.
"Allow me to fill you all in:" Chris evilly chuckled. "It seems that Total Drama has become the number one rated reality television show in all of Canada. Millions of millions of viewers tuned in throughout both seasons to watch the twenty-two of you suffer at my hands. Go ahead: give yourselves a pat on the back for that."
"That's not something I'm particularly proud of," Eva snapped back. "We were humiliated and embarrassed on national television. And for what? NOTING!"
"Not true," Chris replied. "You all got cheap tabloid fame and became national celebrities at the same time. You'll all continue to be celebrities…for a few months more anyways."
"Gee…how nice," Duncan grunted. "My fellow inmates at juvie will want to get my autograph before they engage in a fist fight with me. I'm touched and feel so blessed."
"Not the case for you, my friend," Chris smiled.
"Yeah, well…wait…what?" Duncan asked, looking intrigued.
"Allow me to explain!" Chris began, clearing his throat. "In the beginning, when you all signed your contracts, it was obvious you were all oblivious to the fine prints in them, which is why we got to do Total Drama Action."
"I'm grateful for that!" Harold called out proudly.
"Yes, we know Harold," Chris replied, slightly irritated he had been interrupted. "Anyways, the producers and I speculated that the show might be a huge success and thanks you all, it was!"
"Well, duh!" Heather scoffed. "You had ME on the show."
"STOP INTERUPTING ME!" Chris barked out. "Anyways, to keep up money…I mean, to keep the national sensation that is Total Drama continuing, the producers and network have agreed to let us all do a third season!"
"WHAT!" All the members of the show barked out in union.
"Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO!" Leshawna growled, marching up to Chris. "You did NOT just sign me onto a third season!"
"No, I didn't," Chris smiled. "YOU did when you signed the contract. It's called the fine, fine print!"
"Is there even such a thing as fine, fine print?" Bridgette asked, looking very irritated.
"There is now!" Chris laughed.
"NO!" Gwen shouted in anger. "THAT'S IT! IF, AND WHEN I ESCAPE THIS HELL HOLE OF A SHOW, I AM GOING TO HAVE A LAWYER READ EVERY SINGLE CONTRACT GIVEN TO ME BEFORE I SIGN IT!"
"Relax Gwen," Chris signed. "You're not going to partake in the next season."
"What do you mean by that?" Gwen demanded.
"Well, to be honest, there are two different kinds of contracts that were given out to you all. Eleven of them said that in case of a third season, you are obligated to participate as a contestant. The other eleven state that you will be obligated to partake in other duties related to the show: interns, Chef's assistant…another talk show."
"Sweet!" Geoff bellowed out. "I loved doing that! Bridgette and I call dibs on that responsibility!"
"Sorry Geoff my man, but according to my paperwork, you and Bridgette both signed the contracts that said you would be contestants in the third season."
"OH NO!" Bridgette and Geoff groaned out together in despair.
"So who are the other nine that signed the 'contestant' contracts?" Noah asked, seeming concerned.
"I'm getting to that! Just be patient!" Chris declared. Once everyone settled down, Chris began to read from a list he brought with him. "The eleven that will be participating in the third season as contestants are…Geoff…Bridgette…"
Again, both Geoff and Bridgette groaned.
"…Heather…"
"UGH!" Heather shouted out in anger. "NO! YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!"
"Oh, but I can…fine, fine print," Chris snickered. "Anyways, moving on…Duncan…"
"Aw man," Duncan sighed.
"…Courtney…"
"WHAT!" Courtney demanded. "I'm stuck with HIM again?!"
"Oh, season three just got more exciting and thrilling!" Duncan smiled as he pulled Courtney in closer to him.
"Stop pretending you hate it," Noah scoffed. "You were just making out with him a few minutes ago."
"Noah!" Chris called out.
"Sorry, I'll stay quiet and let you finish reading off the list of poor souls that have to endure another season with you," Noah lazily sighed as he opened up his book.
"No Noah, I mean…Noah…YOU are going to partake in season three!"
Noah's eyes went wide and his emotionless expression turned to one of shock as he dropped his book.
"Oh God, tell me this is a cruel prank or a bad dream. One or the other will do fine. Heck, I'll even take both right now."
"Sorry Noah, but you signed the contract," Chris replied. He then returned to his list. "The next names I'm going to call are…Beth and Lindsay!"
All three of them moaned in frustration.
"AW, COME ON!" Lindsay cried out in a high pitch squeal. "I was so looking forward to that tractor ride!"
"And I was looking forward to that horse ranch!" Beth exclaimed.
"And I was looking forward to both!" Tyler cried out.
"Hey, look on the bright side you three: this is another chance for you both to become even more famous," Chris announced.
Instantly and simultaneously, all three stopped complaining. Instead, they all looked to be very excited and enthusiastic about the idea.
"That was easy," Chris chuckled. "The next camper to return as a contestant is…the Codester! The Codemeister! Cody!"
"WHAT?! For real?!" Cody asked, showing signs of mixed emotions between excitement and despair. "Really? You're not pulling a fast one on me, are you? Are there going to be bears again?!"
"Yes and yes," Chris replied, making Cody both thrilled and scared at the same time.
"Next is…EVA!"
"YES!" Eva called out. "OH YEAH! THIS IS IT: MY CHANCE TO SHINE AND SHOW WHAT I'M REALY MADE OF! THANK YOU CHRIS! THANK YOU!"
"You know, it sort of scares me that you're as excited about this as you are," Noah replied.
"SHUT IT! OH YEAH!" Eva continued to celebrate.
"People…this is the last name to be called," Chris announced. "The remaining eleven contestants who do not get their names called must do as they are told, when they are told, and how they are told by your new boss. And you can't quit or come onto the show…EVER!"
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, now he's making it into an elimination ceremony," Leshawna grumbled. "I just hope it's not me!"
"Me too!" Trent and Gwen replied in union.
Lindsay was gripping onto Tyler as tightly as possible, praying he would be selected to participate on the show.
Justin anxiously awaited Chris to announce who it would be. Katie and Sadie were grappling onto him in anticipation and excitement.
DJ gently stroked Bunny in anticipation of the moment. Sweat was pouring down from his forehead.
Ezekiel was shaking vigorously, the tension built up inside of him.
Izzy, Owen, and Harold were begging to themselves that they would be the final participants in the show.
'Please, let me be a part of the awesome show one more time,' Owen begged to himself.
'One more chance to show off my skills to the world,' Harold thought to himself in excitement.
'Izzy can't wait for the third round! Either or is good enough for me!'
"People, the final participant of you twenty-two that will be in season three is…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…Ezekiel!"
"WHAT!" Cried Bridgette, Courtney, Eva, and Ezekiel at the same time.
"That's right Zeke!" Chris grinned. "You have a chance to redeem yourself in this third and upcoming season!"
"Oh, No! No! No! No!" Ezekiel whimpered. "I was SO looking forward to going home! Pick someone else, please!" he pleaded.
"Sorry! Fine, fine print dude," Chris chuckled.
Ezekiel sighed in despair and hid himself under his toque as he felt three pair of angry eyes glare at him.
"NO!" Owen cried out in despair. "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"Darn it!" Harold shouted in frustration. "I so wanted to participate in this season."
"Wait! What about Tyler?" Lindsay whined, not letting go of the jock.
"Well, he, along with the others that weren't chosen to be on the show, are going to be working for Chef, helping him around the campgrounds doing different things. Don't worry, you'll be seeing plenty of them," Chris assured.
"Oh good," Lindsay smiled, hugging the jock. Then, a state of shock came across her face. "Wait…campgrounds? You don't mean…"
"I do," Chris grinned. "We're returning to Wawanakwa for this third season!"
The eleven that had been chosen for the show groaned in union. Even some of those that hadn't been chosen groaned.
"So…there's only going to be eleven of us competing for the prize of the third season?" Cody asked.
"Works for me," Heather smirked. "It makes it all the easier for me to win."
"Actually, no," Chris explained. "You see, the producers thought it was time to shake things up a bit. You see, we feared that the show might get too boring if the same people kept competing in these challenges all the time. Therefore, in addition to you eleven that have been chosen today, we signed eleven new teens to compete along with you! We're REALLY shaking things up this season! We're coming in it with a BANG!"
"Cool! I LOVE meeting new people," Beth giggled. "So, who are they?"
"That, Beth, is why we brought this television! Here, you're going to meet the new competitors that may end up being your friends, foes, or maybe…just maybe…something beyond friendship."
Some of the teens giggled in glee at the thought of this (mainly Cody) while others, (like Heather) just scoffed.
"Ladies and gentlemen…allow me to introduce you to the new campers of Total Drama Madness!"
"Total Drama Madness?" some of the campers asked.
"It's what we're calling the third season," Chris explained.
"Lame," Noah replied.
"Shush now. The audition tapes are starting to play!"
(New Contestant 1: Joe – The Comic Artist)
(A fifteen year old boy with an oddly shaped oval head and three single hairs coming out the front and back of his head is sitting at a drawing table. He is relatively thin and looks about six feet tall. He is wearing baggy jeans, sneakers, and a gay hoodie)
Hey guys! Joe here! Heard you needed some new contestants for the third season and thought I'd give it a try. Well, what's to say about myself? I'm outgoing and I love new challenges. I'll certainly be entertaining to the show. Plus, I could use the money to build my own comic studios.
(He grabs some papers and holds them up to the camera) Here, let me show you what I can do. (The first drawing is of a cartoon duck) This is my main character, Ducko. He's sort of my outgoing side that isn't afraid to say what's on his mind. (The next picture is of a cartoon farmer) This is Ducko's owner. It's all he can do to keep up with Ducko and stop him from getting into trouble. And this one is… (He holds up a picture of three ladies dressed in skimpy clothing with large breasts. He quickly pulls is back, realizing what the picture is) OH CRAP! THAT'S NOT THE ONE I MEANT TO SHOW YOU! (He sighs) Ah, I'll just edit that last part out.
(New Contestant #2: Jamie – The Country Girl)
(A sixteen year old girl with dark, brown hair is riding her horse through an open field. She is on the shorter side, around 5 foot 5, but average weight. She is wearing jeans and a pink sweater.)
Hi everyone at the network! My name's Jamie! (The camera shows footage of a great farm in the background) This is my home. I've lived here all my life and have never ventured out from it. (She chuckles) It's kind of embarrassing, but I've never been in a town with a population larger than 150 people. I have no experience living outside the country whatsoever. But who knows" Maybe that's what you guys are looking for in your contestants.
The reason I want to enter this contest is to make my brother proud of me…(She starts to tear up) He was shot over in Iraq and…he…he was my best friend…and I want to make him proud of me by being as tough as he was…(She starts crying) I'm sorry…I promised I wouldn't cry.
(New Contestant #3 – Jason – Mr. Perfect)
(A tall eighteen year old with short, smooth brown hair is standing in front of the camera wearing casual dress clothes: red polo shirt, brown khakis, and brown leather dress shoes. He is very built and handsome for most boys his age.)
Good afternoon fine producers of Total Drama Madness. My name is Jason and I would love to have the opportunity to partake in your third season of the great hit reality television show that has taken a nation by swarm. I feel that it will benefit me greatly in many ways and it would be an excellent addition to my resume. Here, let me read it out to you (he pulls out a piece of paper). Let's see, I was captain of my football team, basketball team, baseball team, debate team…I led our school to victory in last years envirothon…was elected prom king at my class prom…that's just a few things.
If you do choose me, I would appreciate it. If not, I understand. Just make sure that whomever you choose to be in my place is worthy of being on the show. Thank you for your time.
(New Contestant #4 – Amie – The Dancer)
(A sixteen year old girl standing about 5 foot 7 and average weight is dancing in her room to some hip-hop music in the background. She has blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and is wearing a white t-shirt with a red long-sleeve blouse and a red skirt that goes just below her knees. She is dancing happily to the beat of the music in her sandals.)
Hey guys! What's happening? I'm Amie and I think I'd be a perfect addition to your Total Drama Roster! Why? Well, I was elected class leader by my own peers at school, so you know I'll have leadership skills. Also, I LOVE camping, so that'll come into play when I'm on the show. And finally…because I've got the moves baby! (She closes her eyes and lets the music take control of her body as she continues to dance around her room)
(New Contestant #5 – Brandon – The Soccer Star)
(A sixteen year old boy with dirty blonde curly hair is standing in a soccer field dressed in soccer attire: a green jersey with the #1 on the front, green shorts, shin guards, and black cleats. He stands about 5 foot 9 and is a little skinny, but not terribly.)
Yo! Brandon here! (He begins to juggle the soccer ball) You're looking at the man who's going to go all the way in Total Drama Madness! (He bounces that ball on his head) I'm not afraid of anything you guys have to dish out because I'm the kind of guy who loves a challenge! I ain't afraid of anything and turn down NO challenge!
"Oh yeah?!" a voice from off camera calls. "I bet you can't kick that ball clear over the school!"
"Oh yeah? Just watch me Andrew!" Brandon replies, grinning menacingly.
(He allows the ball to drop to the ground. Once it is settled, he backs up for a head start and charges at the ball, kicking it as hard as he can. He watches in excitement and anticipation as the ball sores through the sky. Seconds later, the sound of a window smashing is heard in the distance).
Oh crap! Guy! Turn it off! Run!
(Camera cuts to static)
(New Contestant #6 – Ali – The Rich Bitch)
(A seventeen year old girl is standing in front of her mansion beside a Hummer. She has long, blonde, silky hair and stands about 5 foot 10. She is athletically fit and has a very curvy body. She is wearing a short, hot pink sleeveless silk dress and is wearing sandals.)
Hello everyone. My name is Ali and I am giving you the opportunity to have me partake on your reality show. The way I see it, this isn't the opportunity of a lifetime for me, but for you! You should be honored that someone like me would want to lower myself to that horrid campground you call Wawanakwa. But I consider myself a caring, giving person. That's why I want to give your show a reason to be watched by being on it. Plus, I'm giving the world the chance to see this perfect, beautiful body. (she flicks her hair aside) I trust you'll make the right decision.
(New Contestant #7 – Greg – The Asshole)
(An eighteen year old boy is simply standing in front of the camera. He is wearing a white muscle shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. He is athletically built, standing about 6 feet tall and had short, blonde hair.)
Hey, this is Greg here. You gonna put me on the third season of Total Drama Island? (He pauses for a second) WHY NOT? I'M FREAKING ENTERTAINING! Oh, oh because the producers won't think I'm viewer friendly. Oh, I see. You know how old those producers are? (He pauses for another second) 97 YEARS OLD! Look, I was there when they were watching the audition tapes for the first season. I saw them be wheeled into the room in their wheelchairs! Took up three freaking rows…slurping popcorn and soda through the tubes in their throats…I could barely understand the audition tapes with all those beeps coming from their "please-keep-me-alive computers".
But hey, you trust their opinions, fine. You know what? Pick another male model like that Justin guy. Have him stand there doing nothing while he just winks at the camera to making the girl's pants tingle. See if your asses merge to your chairs waiting for him to do something worth mentioning! Or better yet, pick another juvenile kid. Yeah, have fun picking between criminals that record themselves escaping from the cops! Guess what?! YOU'RE GOING TO GET MILLIONS OF THEM! OR HEY, PICK ANOTHER RETARD FOR THE WORLD TO LAUGH AT LIKE LINDSAY OR GEOFF! THANK GOD THEY'RE CONSIDERED EYE CANDY FOR THE WORLD OR THEIR PARENTS WOULD'VE SHOT THEM YEARS AGO! SPEAKING OF WHICH, IF YOU DON'T PICK ME, I HOPE YOU GET SO CRAMPED IN THE BRAIN, THAT YOU GO AND BLOW YOUR FACE OFF WITH A SHOTGUN! YOU'RE NOT WORTH HAVING ME ON YOUR ULTRA BADASS RALITY SHOW!
(He calms down) But hey, you still need convincing, check out my Myspace page. You can see footage of me dancing around some hot girls without any clothes on and…
"Dude, you can't post that on Myspace," a voice calls off camera.
YOU TOLD ME I COULD POST THAT!
(New Contestant #8 – Alicia – Writer)
(A sixteen year old girl is sitting under a tree, writing in her notebook. She has long, black hair that goes down to her shoulders. She is on the skinnier side, but not terribly thin and stands about 5 foot 5. She is wearing a simple white shirt with light blue jeans and sneakers and appears to be very laidback.)
Salutations, everyone. My name is Alicia. I am charmed to be your acquaintance. I believe I will be a beneficial and admired accession to your programming because I am compelling, vigorous, acute, and diplomatic. All four of these qualities will inevitably make me a fulmination to the others participants in this program. My gratitude goes out to you all for you time. Thank you.
(New Contestant #9 – Aaron – The Science Fiction Nerd)
(A fifteen year old scrawny boy is standing in his room. He has spiky hair and eyeglasses and is wearing a green t-shirt, regular blue jeans, and green sneakers. He is short, about 5 foot 4 and very skinny for his height and age.)
(He is speaking in a robotic tone while doing the robot) Greetings mortal humans! My identification is Aaron. Calculations indicate that the selection of me to be on the third season of Total Drama will result in an increase in ratings and 100% satisfaction and entertainment will be guaranteed. We request that you select Aaron for this season to prove these calculations to be correct. Thank you for your time! End Transmission.
(He stops doing the robot and starts speaking in his normal voice) Okay, I know I'm an uber-nerd, but in all seriousness, if you select me to be on the show, I promise you won't be sorry.
(New Contestant #10 – Hannah – The Pianist)
(A sixteen year old girl is sitting in front of a piano. She is dressed in a formal, black dress. Her orange hair is done up in a bun as she begins to play a very classical piece of music on the piano. Her eyes are closed as she lets her soul express itself on the piano. After thirty seconds, she stands up and takes a bow. Here, we can see she is about 5 foot 6 and is of average weight.)
I believe my song has spoken for me. Please select me!
(New Contestant #11 – Rikki – Overweight Cross-Dresser)
(A large seventeen year old boy wearing a tank top, revealing his large gut, and a long skirt is standing in front of the camera with a big grin on his face. His face is covered with makeup and his hair has been dyed Orange. He stands about 6 foot 2 and weights an amazing 315 pounds.)
Well hello there, people. I heard your little show needs some spice to it. Well, they don't get any spicier than yours truly, Rikki! Look at me! Aren't I sparkelicious? I'll make your show so exciting and delicious you'll be wondering why you didn't choose little ol' me for the first two seasons! I look forward to meeting you silly gooses shortly! Have a sparkly day!
END AUDITION TAPES
"Well people, what do you think of the eleven new contestants?" Chris smiled.
All was silent for a few minutes. Not even the sound of chirping crickets could be heard.
"OH TELL ME THAT LAST GUY WAS A JOKE!" Duncan pleaded.
"Afraid not," Chris laughed.
"Well, I think I'm going to need therapy once this season's over," Noah added.
"It's not that Rikki that concerns me," Bridgette admitted. "I'm more worried about that Greg guy…he seems like a real jerk!"
"I know…TOTALLY uncool," Geoff admitted.
"Loud…mean…not afraid to say what's on his mind…I like his style," Eva said.
"That Alicia…she totally hurt my head with her audition tape," Lindsay moaned as she massaged her temples.
"Mine too," Beth admitted. "But that Jason guy's one heck of a hunk!"
"Oh my gosh! Jason was so dreamy!" Katie swooned.
"Totally," Sadie agreed.
"I have to admit…I'm a bit of a fan of him myself," Justin smirked.
"What do you think Tyler?" Lindsay asked her boyfriend.
"They all seem okay…but that Brandon…I know I'm not the BEST athlete in the world, but at least my screw-ups don't cause any property damage…I don't know about him."
Elsewhere, DJ was having tears swell up in his eyes.
"That Jamie…it was so beautiful what she's doing…" he choked. "…Don't cry DJ," he told himself between sobs.
"Yeah…and it looks like Ezekiel will finally have someone he can relate to this season with that Jamie girl," Bridgette smiled as she shot a glance over to Ezekiel. Ezekiel sheepishly returned it with a smile, but only for a few seconds.
"Well, the Codester knows one thing: he's looking forward to getting to know that Amie chick!" Cody grinned as he licked his hand and ran it through his hair slyly.
"You don't really expect me to compete with those two geeks, do you?" Heather scoffed. "That robot wanna-be and that freak cartoonist?! Ugh! He'll probably drool at the very sight of me!"
"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that," Gwen sighed. "I'm just glad I don't have to put up with two Heathers this season."
"Amen!" Leshawna agreed. "That Ali looks like bad news."
"Totally!" Trent replied. "Here's to us not competing against her this season…though I would have liked to get to know that Hannah girl more…"
"TRENT!" Gwen snapped.
"As a friend!" Trent immediately replied. "You know, we both share a common interest in music and all that. You know I'd never try to replace you, right Gwen?"
"Yes, I know?" Gwen smiled. She leaned in to get a kiss from Trent. But just as their lips were about to touch, Chris popped up between the two of them.
"Now, now you two! You're not contestants this season, so you two don't get to make out in front of the camera this time. Darn shame, I know."
"Does that mean you had to stop us from doing it this time?" Gwen asked, seeming annoyed.
"Yes, yes it does," Chris grinned.
Chris then stood in front of the camera and boldly stated, "So who will come out on top this season? Will it be one of our old campers? Or one of our eleven new ones? What kind of Drama will unfold this time around? Find out next time as we officially begin TOTAL…DRAMA…MADNESS!