This is an experiment. If you love it, thanks. If you hate it, it's all Dragonrider7's fault.
I don't own a single character in the DC Universe. Heck, I don't even own any characters in this universe!
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Chapter 20
They reappeared in the conference room of the Watchtower. Lex clutched the conference table, catching his breath. Ambush Bug walked over to the end of the table where the crystals and the ruined bust were laid out. "Aside from the $35 you owe me, I want to know where them Justice Leaguers are. Let 'em loose, and I'll knock $5 off what you owe me."
Lex pointed to the larger crystal. "That crystal controls the others. I can use it to deactivate them." He was still gasping, trying to get his heart rate back to normal. The madcap ride with the bug had completely destroyed his composure. For the first time in his life, Lex was a beaten man.
Irwin hefted the eighth crystal. "What's this – some New Age mumbo jumbo? C'mon, Lexxie. I'm looking for heroes, not Shirley McClain."
Lex flushed. "Why you idiotic-"
He stopped. Ambush Bug was pointing out the conference room window at the moon.
His shoulders slumped. "Let me see the large crystal."
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Fifteen minutes later, the heroes, the bank robbers, the train passenger, and the airline pilot were all standing in the conference room. Irwin, lacking space on the floor, stood on the conference table, the large crystal in his hand. "Now let me get this straight – each of these small crystals is a gate to a pocket universe, and each one is attuned to the DNA of one of the Justice League members. When active, it dimension-shifts the hero in question when it gets within ten feet, along with anyone close enough to get caught in the field." He smiled at Batman. "If my costume hadn't countered the effect, I'd be hanging in the crystal with you right now."
Bruce shuddered, despite himself.
The bank robbers scowled at that. "Yeah, thanks a heap, Luthor! 'Easy bank job', my eye! You'll be hearing from my HMO!"
The train passenger looked over at Wally. "I'm so sorry. A man told me to hold the crystal or they'd hurt my wife. I didn't know what to do."
Wally shrugged. "Hey, no sweat. It all worked out. But I'm pretty sure you're going to be late for work."
The airline pilot, a Lexcorp employee, wisely said nothing as he stood between a furious Green Lantern and Wonder Woman.
Ambush Bug grinned. "Lex, despite everything, I gotta hand it to you. You are one clever guy! I mean really – crystals that capture superheroes. How do you come up with this stuff? Is there a Diabolical Genius Plots for Dummies volume out there somewhere?" He flipped the control crystal in his hand. "It's brilliant, yet simple! Suppose I were to activate this crystal right here with everyone present, would it-"
"NOOO!" shouted everyone in the room.
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Superman grinned as he dropped Luthor off in the exercise yard of Metropolis Penitentiary. He knew that Lex would be out on bail within the hour, but the symbolic gesture was lost on neither man. "Maybe next time you'll know better than to have anything to do with Ambush Bug."
Lex returned the smile. "Believe me, I've acquired a new respect for the abilities and resourcefulness of Ambush Bug."
Superman's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Lex's grin took on a sinister touch. "Oh, you'll see."
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Two days later . . .
Ambush Bug sat sulking at his desk. The Justice League had once again refused to grant his request for membership. So he'd been the guy who gathered the Justice League's DNA for Lex Luthor and made his scheme possible. It wasn't like he hadn't fixed everything. He even gave Bruce's cape back when the Dark Knight had rather fiercely demanded it. Sheesh, it wasn't like he couldn't afford a thousand of them. But even after Irwin had pointed out to them that gathering their DNA was a simple matter of hosting a benefit dinner, inviting the League, then washing the dishes afterward, they were still mad at him.
He shrugged. Maybe he should have waited for them to remove Lex from the room before mentioning that fact, but it seemed painfully obvious to him. But then, Irwin had a way of looking at things from a slightly different perspective.
He grabbed his official Superman letter opener (™) and sliced open the envelope that the mailman had delivered. "What is it today, Cheeks? A lost kitten? Someone wanting me to follow his wife around with a camera?"
The envelope had a letter and a copy of the latest DC Comics' Who's Who in the DC Universe. The letterhead was from the International Superhero Society, and it was a formal notification that Ambush Bug was cordially invited to a superhero scavenger hunt. As an added element of competition, an anonymous team of superheroes were tasked with trying to stop the scavenger hunt contestants from acquiring the items on their lists. The winner would receive honorary membership in the Justice League and a two-week vacation to Cancun with the Justice League member of his choice.
Irwin's heart raced as he scanned the comic, noting circled items next to each hero's biography. "Ooooooo! I already know where most of this stuff is!" He winked at Cheeks. "Hold my calls, little fella! I've got a few things to pick up!"
He popped away, never noticing that the envelope had a Lexcorp return address.
The End
(Of Superman's sanity, at least)
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Ambush Bug is difficult to write for, as he's notorious for breaking the fourth wall. I fell in love with the character before DC made that shift to his dynamics, and I wanted to capture him in that sense. But it was impossible not to put a few inside DC jokes in without denying a major part of what Ambush Bug means to the DC Universe.
Hopefully you've enjoyed this tale. If so, great. And if not . . .
I still blame Dragonrider 7. Take care. Thanks for riding this train wreck to the bitter end.