This is my entry for the Epic T Rated One-Shot Contest~. Be sure to visit either Daddy's Little Cannibal or Bronzehairedgirl620's profiles to see the comm with all the other entries, there's some great stuff in there.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Summary: Emmett sends Edward to the store for barbecue supplies, and Edward picks up a little something extra.

The Epic T Rated One-Shot Contest
Hosted by Daddy's Little Cannibal and Bronzehairedgirl620.

The rules are as followed:
1. No lemons.
2. It must be rated T.
3. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a cannibal.
4. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a fireman.
1. No lemons.
5. Cannon pairings.
6. It has to be a one-shot, you're allowed to continue it when the contest is over with.
7. Must copy and paste this to the beginning of every story you enter (you're allowed up to two entries, collaborations are accepted).
1. No lemons.

Benefits of Barbecue

"Hey, Edward, run to the store for me? We need the pointy sticks."

I rolled my eyes. "Emmett, one, they're called skewers. Two, why can't you do it? It's your barbeque."

He sighed dramatically. "Because, brother of mine, some needs to get the grill set up. And Rosalie should be here any minute, and while I iknow/i how much you love her, I think you'd rather run to the store."

"Point taken." I pretended to shudder. As happy as I was that my brother had found the love of his life, it didn't mean I wanted to spend quality time with her. "Although, I'm worried about leaving you alone with the grill. I don't want to have the fire department send another firemen to give you a talk on fire safety again."

"I was five, Edward." Emmett said, exasperated. "It's not my fault I was a curious child."

"Curious child, alright," I grinned, "We still can't figure you out."

I laughed as he threw the bag of hot dogs buns at my head. I caught it easily and tossed it back. "I'm going, I'm going. Need anything else?"

He grinned as he caught the bag. "It wouldn't hurt you to pick up a cute girl. I hear they're having a sale."

"Ha ha."

The things I do for family. I shook my head as I grabbed my keys from the hook beside the door. Emmett insisted on having a barbeque to celebrate the first day of summer, though I suspected he just wanted an excuse to light something on fire. Otherwise, he would have told our sister, Alice, further in advance so she could make a real party out of it, rather than spring it on her in a text message this morning. She'd threatened bodily harm and dismemberment, but couldn't do anything about the barbeque other than show up with her fiancé, Jasper.

And it wasn't that I didn't like Rosalie, we just had a very awkward start (which was a whole other story), and didn't want to risk a repeat performance. She was perfect for Emmett, and anyone crazy enough to love him had high marks in my book.

Besides, ever since Emmett and I moved out of our parents' house, our mother had been tireless in getting information about our love lives, and with Rosalie to distract her, I was off the hook.

I pulled into the parking lot, grabbed a basket, and quickly made my way through the store. Luckily, everything I needed was in the seasonal aisle, so it didn't take long. In addition to the skewers for the shishkabobs, I picked up some matches (knowing Emmett would probably run out), some Ketchup (Jasper liked a ridiculous amount on his hot dogs), and a serving fork and spatula (because I didn't want to see Emmett trying to remove the meat with knives or his hands).

Basically, all Emmett had done in preparation of his little shindig was buy ridiculous amounts of meat.

I took my supplies to the first check-out that was open, and set the basket on the conveyor belt. The cashier was a short, curly-haired girl who chatting up the boy at the next register over.

"I mean, obviously it was fake," she giggled before plastering that fake make-the-customer-happy smile and turning to me. Her eyes widened and her smile shifted into one Emmett would call predatory. She eyed me up and down and leaned forward, "Well, hel-lo. Did you find everything you needed?"

I shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably; I was used to women hitting on me. Alice was forever teasing me, telling me I was too handsome to be single and insisting on setting me up with someone, but I always refused. I wasn't about to let Alice have any hand in my love life – she was prone to going overboard.

"Yes, thank you," I smiled hesitantly, hoping she would simply bag my items and move on.

I was not so lucky.

"Are you sure you found everything?" She lowered her voice, I think in an attempt to sound sexy.

"Jessica, knock it off, he's not interested," a soft voice cut in, sounding annoyed. I glanced over to see the bagger looking as if this was not a rare occurrence.

Jessica spun around and glared at the girl. "Bella, just because you can't get or keep a man to save your life doesn't mean you need to get in the way of everyone else."

She turned back to me and smiled sweetly, "Sorry about that. She's new." Winking conspiratorially, she continued in a stage whisper, "And not very socially adjusted." She persisted to try to talk to me as she very slowly rang up my few purchases. I gave short, monosyllabic answers, trying not to encourage her, glancing at the bagging girl – Bella – out of the corner of my eye.

She looked flushed and kept her eyes down. I didn't see why she would have any trouble "getting a man," as the cashier implied. Dark hair, dark eyes, pale, clear skin… she had a regular girl-next-door, simple kind of beauty. And she didn't act like a ditz around guys, which was more important than any level of beauty to me.

Jessica totaled everything up and I swiped my card and signed quickly. Bella handed me my bag and mumbled, "Have a nice day. Do you need help carrying it out to your car?"

I glanced back at Jessica, who was still eying me. I suspected she going to pounce on Bella as soon as I left, accusing her of being the reason behind my rejection. I didn't know this girl, but I knew she didn't deserve that. "Yes, I would," I said decisively. She looked like she was going to cry, and I wanted her away from this vulture.

Her head shot up as she eyed me warily. "It's just something we're supposed to say to every customer. You have one bag. You don't need my help."

"Indulge me," I smiled warmly at her.

She watched Jessica's jaw drop in shock and then smiled timidly back at me. "Alright, then."

She tried to take the single bag from me, but I pulled it out of her reach. "I was raised to be a gentlemen, don't think I'm letting you carry these."

"Well then, what am I supposed to help you with?" She was getting agitated, and it was amusing to see she was trying to put up a fight.

Though my back was to Jessica, I could hear her gasp as I leaned close to whisper conspiratorially in Bella's ear, "Help protect me from girls like her."

She blinked once before smiling widely, and followed me out the door.

"I'm Edward, by the way."

"Bella. And, um, thanks," her cheeks regained that slight tinge of pink. "Any break from Jessica is very much appreciated."

I laughed. "Is she that bad?"

"Not usually. But then, you're a step above the usual guys that come in." When I laughed, she realized what she just said. "I'm sorry! Sometime words just come out without my permission. I meant…um…" she trailed off, looking miserable.

"Don't worry about it," I let her off the hook as we reached my Volvo. "This is me." As I dug my keys out of my pocket, felt my phone vibrate – a text from Emmett.

Dude, I was kidding about the girl sale – stop looking, everyone's here.

"So um," Bella spoke again, bringing my attention back to her, "I think you're safe from Jessica now, so I'll just be heading back in."

"No, wait," I shifted the bag so my hand was free and caught her wrist. I could just imagine the look on Emmett's face if I did indeed return with a girl. And I wanted to thank her for trying to protect me from her coworker.

"How would you like to come to a barbeque?"

She eyed my bag. "You're not a homicidal cannibal, are you?"

I choked down a laugh. "What makes you say that?"

"I didn't see you buy any meat."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry, my brother was in charge of getting the meat. And he got a little excited and forget to get some other essentials." I let go of her and held up the bag. "So what do you say?"

She bit her lip and looked back at the store. I could see Jessica watching us from inside, a bitter look on her face. "I still have another hour to my shift."

"I was the only customer in there, you could leave early," I tried to convince her and she looked back up at me.

"I need the hours," she insisted, but her commitment was clearly wavering.

"It's just one, you can make it up later. And just imagine the look on your friends' faces."

That seemed to seal the deal.

"You've got yourself a date," she smiled.

My lips curled up into a grin as I texted Emmett back.

I got lucky – set another place.