Disclaimer: If Axis Powers Hetalia were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.

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Minimal fluff 09!

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Sibling Competition

It was all Feliciano's fault. Really, it was. If it wasn't for his stupid little brother, he wouldn't be in his situation. Spain would not be staring at him like a man who had never seen other men before. And it wasn't that strange of a question to ask.

Alright, maybe it was.

But it was Feliciano's fault.

Granted, he hadn't wanted to see Feliciano at all. He never really did. Whenever his stupid brother was around, it was always 'Germany' this and 'Germany' that or 'potato' this and 'beer' that. Romano had woken up with a good mood, eaten breakfast in a good mood, was lazing around in a good mood when lo and behold, his brother appeared out of nowhere in his living room.

"Guess what, Romano? Guess what, guess what, guess what?!"

Something which required Feliciano to add an extra 'guess what' had to be news. Pretending to look interested (which only required a twitch), he put on an older brother air. "What the hell now."

"No, you hafta guess."

"Um…Germany died."

"What?! He did?! NO! I just left him only a few minutes ago…" Glancing around nervously, Feliciano looked near tears. "Who did it? Was it England? I knew it!"

"Relax, it was just a guess." Romano rolled his eyes, turning back to the mafia magazine he was reading. Wait, who stocked his magazines with weapon catalogues?!

"Oh! Okay! Well! You guessed wrong! Germany's still very much alive!"

"Feliciano, will you stop using exclamation marks? Overuse will cause them to become extinct."

"Really? Is that true? How do you know?"

"It pertains to question marks and periods and commas too," Romano continued, leafing through the magazine. These were pretty chic machine guns.

"Oh okay then I'll tell you right out without using any punctuation marks guess what Romano yeah that's right I had sex with Germany last night so guess what I'm not a virgin anymore!" Italy cheered for himself, before stopping. "Wait, I used an exclamation mark."

"You did what with Germany?!" Okay, so maybe he didn't like Feliciano very much, but he was still his brother, and older brothers had to worry about these kinds of stuff. "No, you didn't Italy. Don't lie to me."

"I did. I swear, I did! Do you wanna see? He gave me this big hickey on my neck. Do you wanna see?!"

"No, Feliciano, I don't. Normal people usually don't show their sex scars to the public." But Feliciano had gotten his attention and he had put the magazine down. "I can't believe you. I told you he was a bad nut and here you go, doing stupid things again. I can't believe it. Did you remember to use protection?"

"Germany said we had to use two."

"He would," Romano muttered to himself.

"But hey! It's a good thing! I'm not a virgin anymore! Isn't that great? I'm an adult now." Throwing his chin up proudly, Italy nodded. "I'm an adult," he repeated.

"Just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you're less of an adult, Feliciano."

"But I feel really older, you know what I mean, Romano? You know what I mean, right? Cause you're not a virgin." When Romano didn't respond, Feliciano's eyes widened. "What?! Romano! Why didn't you tell me! You haven't done it yet?!"

"Why would I tell you, dammit?" Romano muttered, feeling his face grow red.

"But…but…I thought you would have already…cause you're older…but…" Italy shook his head. "This isn't good! A little brother can't one-up his older brother! That's it. You're going to have to lose it now."

"When you say 'now', you don't literally mean…"

"Now! We've got to find you someone now! Oh! I know! How about Spain? You two are close anyway…and I would have thought that you two would have…"

Now Feliciano was silenced because Romano had pelted him with all the magazines that had been previously sitting next to him. "Don't say anything like that, dammit! Spain and I have never…he's never…!" Yes, Spain had hinted at it and even tried to initiate it (while drunk), but Romano had fended him off every single time. "Why would I want to lose my virginity to Spain of all people?!"

"Because…because…he cared for you when you were a little kid…and he still does…so I only thought, since he's so nice to you, that maybe…"

"Well, I'm not. And that's the end of the question."

"But Romano, you've got to…"

"I haven't got to do anything, dammit."

Italy sulked. "Alright, fine. Then it's your loss. It's a lot of fun. Germany knows a lot too. Did you know, that if you're in the right position, that…"

"You know I want to know nothing about Germany in that retrospect."

"Aw…"

But even when Romano threw Feliciano out after the little idiot proceeded to tell him much more than he ever wanted to know about Germany, when he thought about it…he had been beaten by Italy again.

He was still a virgin when his little brother wasn't.

This could not be so.

It was a man's pride.

So he had to really go out and lose it as quickly as Feliciano had said. But with whom? Hungary was freakishly creepy and was probably latched onto Austria…France was just downright perverted…England was probably rolling around with America as he thought, not that he would ever got for that island nation…which left only one choice in the near vicinity.

"Spain, will you have sex with me? Right now?"

And thus, where he was. Spain's face had reddened and he looked like he temporary lost his brain. Well, he looked like that all the time, just more so now.

"Romano…are you asking…why all of a sudden?"

"No reason," Romano muttered, turning around. "I just thought…but if you don't want to, I guess I'll go find someone else…"

"Find…?" Spain's face suddenly lit up. "Oh, does this possibly have anything to do with Italy? He was going around to everyone in sight and telling them that he and Germany did the deed. Is that it? Is it because you lost to your brother?"

"Lost? I haven't lost anything, dammit! Just because he goes and gets knocked up by Germany does not mean I lost anything! Dammit! Why does everyone get so obsessed with sex?!" Crossing his arms, Romano glared at Spain. "I knew it was a bad idea to come to you."

Quickly jumping to redeem himself, Spain flung his arms around Romano. "Oh, no, no! That's not what I meant! I mean, if it is…well…I'm touched that you came to me first…but are you sure? You shouldn't rush into things like this, Romano. Losing your virginity is a big deal. I don't want you to do something you don't really want to do." Staring the green eyed Italian in the eyes, Spain frowned. "Are you completely, absolutely, no-questions-asked sure that you want to do this?"

"Yes, Spain, I am completely, absolutely, no-questions-asked sure that I want to do this," Romano said tiredly. "Now hurry up, because I've scheduled a nap for later and I don't want to miss it."

"Well, okay, but I think you might be taking that nap a lot earlier than you intended when I'm done with you."

"Will you stop talking like that?"

Spain laughed, leading Romano into his room. "We'll take it slow, cause it's your first time. Don't worry, okay? Boss Spain's gonna take care of you~!"

It was true; Spain was utterly gentle when it came to things in the bed, and Romano was feeling rather comfortable until they had recklessly abandoned their clothing and something didn't seem right, didn't sit well with him, and he didn't think it was the pineapple-sardine pizza he had for breakfast. "Wait, wait, wait. Stop." Shoving a hand in Spain's face, Romano pushed the man off him. "I…I don't think I'm ready. Cause…cause…you're you and I'm me. It's not…now's not the right time, you know? Dammit, I don't even know what I'm talking about."

Spain stared at him, before smiling and ruffling his hair. "I understand. Take your time. Just come to me when you're ready, okay?"

"Hmph. When I'm ready, anyone is game."

"Eh?! No!"

Well, maybe Feliciano beat him this time, but when it came to partners…he just won in dedication by a landslide.

Feliciano: 1. Romano: 1

Owari

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note: Yeah…about that…I might make this a drabble collection (more like a fic collection, honestly), but not about Romano losing his virginity. This was awkward in itself. I had originally planned it about Italy bragging about how he was further than his brother and suddenly this appeared on the screen. I don't write M. I can't physically make myself write smut. And besides, I have important ADVANCED PLACEMENTS Thursday. So I can't afford to let my mind wander. Review. And pray for me. Or do whatever you constitute gives others luck. I NEED it, since Hetalia hasn't been providing adequate historical help.