Star Trek IM: Where No Man Has Gone Before

By Serena

Welcome to the Enterprise chatroom. You have been warned.

WARNING: This story contains randomness, OOCness, and insanity.

A/N: Man, I've got like fifteen fics to update... AAAAHHH!!! But the plot bunnies are killing me. This however, can be either a series or oneshots. It doesn't matter either way. If you'd like to know who is who, then let me know and I'll tell you in the next chapter. :)

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

Coolest_Captain_Ever has logged in.

NOTanElf has logged in.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Let me guess… Spock?

NOTanElf: Very astute observation, Captain.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: How is it that you can still manage to sound completely sarcastic without you even speaking??

NOTanElf: I'm sure I have no idea.

DocsRuletheWorld has logged in.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Hm – this is a toughie. :p

DocsRuletheWorld: If you don't know who I am then either my screen name isn't obvious enough, or you're just an idiot.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: I was kidding, geez, Bones. Of course I know who you are.

DocsRuletheWorld: How was I supposed to know you were kidding? I'm a doctor, not a mind-reader. I leave that to the hobgoblin.

NOTanElf: Perhaps I should change my name to include that as well…

LOVEtheEars has logged in.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Oh, my, my. :D This must be our lovely Uhura. Or every other woman on this blasted ship who goes for Spock. (scowls)

LOVEtheEars: It's me.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: That doesn't help.

LOVEtheEars: Let me put this in a way that someone with a feeble mind such as urself can understand. THIS IS UHURA.

DocsRuletheWorld: lol

NOTanElf: ^_-

Coolest_Captain_Ever: OK, that's just freaky, Spock. You still manage to raise one eyebrow on THE COMPUTER.

LOVEtheEars: It's an art. :D

Coolest_Captain_Ever: But seriously. All the girls on this ship are crazy for the Vulcan. The guy who DOESN'T SHOW HIS EMOTIONS. Geez, what is this, a freako universe?

LOVEtheEars: Or just a bunch of very smart women. :D Who, of course, need to stay far, far away from my man.

DocsRuletheWorld: You mean Vulcan.

NOTanElf: I am still half-human, Doctor.

DocsRuletheWorld: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

NOTanElf: Has it occurred to anyone that most of the senior officers are on a chatroom instead of on duty? Most of us should be at work.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: You first.

LOVEtheEars: It's fine. I'm sure the others can handle it.

RailThin has logged in.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Honestly, I got no clue who this is. Any ideas, people?

LOVEtheEars: That weird guy w/ the accent.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Which one?

RailThin: 'Ey! I resent that.

LOVEtheEars: Er… is it that strange, ugly little creature who keeps staring at me?

RailThin: What???!

DocsRuletheWorld: No, I think it's Spock in disguise.

NOTanElf: ^_-

RailThin: NO! It's me! Scotty!

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Who?

RailThin: Your transporter guy?

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Erm…. Sorry, ain't ringing any bells.

LOVEtheEars: I still think it's that small, ugly creature.

RailThin: NO!!! It's ME!!

DocsRuletheWorld: OK, so maybe it's not Spock, because he doesn't use those thingy-majjigers… er, whaddaya call 'em…

LOVEtheEars: Exclamation points?

DocsRuletheWorld: Know it all.

LOVEtheEars: Hypochondriac.

DocsRuletheWorld: Show-off.

LOVEtheEars: Grumpy-grump.

DocsRuletheWorld: Fancy-pants.

LOVEtheEars: Grouchy-grouch.

DocsRuletheWorld: Irritating person.

LOVEtheEars: Nice comeback, genius. XP

DocsRuletheWorld: Hey!! I'm a doctor, not a genius.

LOVEtheEars: U can say that again.

DocsRuletheWorld: I take it back. I am a genius.

LOVEtheEars: No ur not. Ur a doctor.

DocsRuletheWorld: Hey, that's not true! I'm a doctor, not a doc… er…

NOTanElf: ^_-

LOVEtheEars: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Coolest_Captain_Ever: LOL!

LOVEtheEars: Gotcha there, genius.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: LOL!! That was PRICELESS!! BURN!!!

NOTanElf: That was impressive, Lieutenant.

LOVEtheEars: (fans herself) Thxs, honey-buns. ;D

DocsRuletheWorld: Shut up, you hobgoblin!!!

LOVEtheEars: Wait, I'M a hobgoblin now??!

NOTanElf: Well, we are seeing each other. Perhaps he's decided to extend the courtesy to you as well.

LOVEtheEars: Oh. Wutever. Stupid doctors…

NOTanElf: However, if you call her that again, Doctor, you leave me no choice but to render you unconscious.

DocsRuletheWorld: I meant YOU, not HER! IDIOTS!!!

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Geez, take a chill pill.

RailThin: I don't quite get what's goin' on…

LOVEtheEars: Hey, Mystery Man! Wut's up?

RailThin: I'm not a bloody Mystery Man! I'm Scotty, for the love of Pete!

DocsRuletheWorld: Nah, Scotty would have a name like TransporterMan or EnergizerScotty or something like that. RailThin doesn't make any sense.

RailThin: It will!! ARGH!

NOTanElf: I must leave. I have an appointment I can't miss.

LOVEtheEars: :D I wonder wut THAT could be? (grins) Perhaps maybe a date with a gorgeous not to mention genius lady? :D

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Isn't that… against the rules?

LOVEtheEars: Yep.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: As Captain, I could stop you.

LOVEtheEars: Nope.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Um… because you'd kill me if I tried, right?

LOVEtheEars: Yep.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Oh.

NOTanElf: Spock out.

NOTanElf has logged out.

LOVEtheEars: And that's my cue!! By all! Bye Mystery Man!

RailThin: OH FOR THE LOVE OF –

DocsRuletheWorld: Stupid women and their stupid ability to win all the stupid arguments.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Oh, take it like a man, Bones.

DocsRuletheWorld: I'm a doctor, not a m… SCRATCH THAT!!!!

LOVEtheEars: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Coolest_Captain_Ever: LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! OH MAN!!! You set yourself up for that one, Bonesy.

DocsRuletheWorld: Forget this.

DocsRuletheWorld has logged out.

LOVEtheEars: Well, I gots to go. Adieu!

LOVEtheEars has logged out.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Great, now I'm the only one on here.

RailThin: Um, HELLOOOOOO?????

Coolest_Captain_Ever: You don't count.

RailThin: WUT??!!?!?!?!?!?!

FromRussiaWithLove has logged in.

FromRussiaWithLove: Hello. Theese ees Chekov.

Coolest_Captain_Ever: Oh geez.

Coolest_Captain_Ever has logged out.

FromRussiaWithLove: Hello?

RailThin: Hey, there, mate. I'm Scotty.

FromRussiaWithLove: Who?

RailThin: Oh, THAT'S IT!!!

RailThin has logged out.

FromRussiaWithLove: … What?

OK, it was random. Hey, it's me. You have to know right off the bat - I write random stuff. Don't ask me why.

- Serena