Disclaimer: The first rule of fanfiction writing. Never own what you write.

Warning: Angst. Fuji's POV. Fuji's angst.

A/N: Another oneshot that I've been inspired to write. I love writing angst so much, so I got carried away. Please, if you find this confusing, just ask and I'll be glad to explain everything. I'm trying this style of writing; I hope you will all like it. Please enjoy~

By Lachrymosa13blue

The world ended when I first laid sight of you.

And I was ignorant of the fact.

Having those perfectly brown gentle eyes held mine in a strong gaze sent tremors to my heart.

I knew I was in love, in love with this child the same age as mine, in love with this complete stranger.

In such a young age, I was able to recognize love right away.

I thought it was like a gift, something not everyone could experience.

I was young and naïve, I don't understand everything, I don't know the right from wrong, and I don't know the reasons of reasons.

Yet true to my young age, I indulged in your presence, your gestures and your occasional smiles.

I've always thought that after my parents decided to return back to Chiba, I'll forget who you are.

That's why I asked you to remember me always, that we'll always be friends, that one day we'll see each other again.

A promise was made. A promise between two childhood friends.

And with that, I let go of Tezuka Kunimitsu's hand and left him.

I wondered if I'll ever meet him again.

The person that ended my life of freedom unconsciously.

---

While away from you had only then had I known that I can't forget you.

I can't run away from those brown eyes that seemed to linger on my mind's eye.

It seems this love I have is so pure; it seemed innocent enough I can't get over it.

I was still in love with Tezuka Kunimitsu even as years passed.

Am I tied to you? Maybe, since I can't seem to grasp away from something I can't see yet I can feel.

Life seemed to turn again when I was informed that we were to go back to Tokyo, to the old house we've lived in, to the place where I fell in love with that one person.

I'm going back.

I am tied together with you…Tezuka.

---

I wanted to tell you.

I was bursting.

I want to confess, anything will do. I wanted to tell you how I felt.

I want to already see the tie binding us together.

Yet...

I'm afraid we are…stepping farther and farther away from each other now.

Loosening ties, ever since I went back, it never has been the same.

Your intentions to grow as an individual, to be stronger, to be best, I was overshadowed.

Sure, you recognized me, remembered me, and remained friends. But what is that I feel too different around you?

My love for you, nearing the dark pits of the unreturned, barely hanging yet desperate to make you feel it, didn't change.

I'm still waiting and expecting that everything would both come to our senses.

I will forever hold you captive in my heart, Tezuka.

---

I gasped as your lips assaulted mine, forceful and hungry.

Our tongues danced in wild frenzy, what is it that happened?

Suddenly you just cornered me, and robbed the air out of me. Such demanding action…I never expected it. Yes, I want you so much. But…the way you kissed me this time is different.

It's not saying the words I want to hear from such intimate gesture.

Is this the way of telling me…to stop hinting and get on with my life?

Rejection coated in kisses I longed to have from you.

So that's it…

You don't love me.

---

Where are you now?

It's been a while.

You see…I still love you.

I'm waiting for you to come back.

---

I've met pain face to face.

Now, I want to meet happiness face to face too.

Can you grant my wish?

---

I've always believed, Tezuka. Since I was young, I knew this one capability of mine to love will only be given to one person and to that person alone.

And that person turned his back on me.

I could never love again.

It was always you from the beginning.

---

Tezuka, I've already ended my life when I first met you. How do you expect that you'll end it again when you rejected me?

If only we didn't make that promise, my ending had been different.

If only I was incapable to love, or have loved someone else.

And everything might perhaps be such a happy ending.

---

The world ended when I first laid sight of you.

It was absolute.

Tezuka, I always had absolutely loved you.

If only you knew.

If only you understand.

OWARI

A/N: I'm definitely going to write a sequel for this. Angst again, but this time I'll make a happy ending…perhaps. I hope you understood my point, since it's been pretty confusing. I enjoy writing like this, especially from Fuji's point of view; forgive me for being such an angsty writer. Reviews please, let me know what you think. Thank you for reading.