To see you smile

By: Fallon-chan

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AN: My return to the writing circuit. For all those who wonder it is an E+T. Don't like it then I'd advise you to leave. This is also my first Card Captor Sakura fic so let's go easy one me please. I do hope you enjoy this and it lives up to the standards I want it too. As for grammar and spelling mistakes we can now curse San-chan! My new beta-reader. ^-^

Disclaimers: Clamp owns everything isn't it quite obvious that if I owned CCS that known of this would be required.

For: Starchick, hope you're happy with yourself now. Haha

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Prologue: Once upon a time and never again

Daidouji Sonomi paced the halls, walking at a moderate pace for a woman her size. Her mind was trouble and filled with many unpleasant thoughts. There was no way she would ever let him in this house again. She had been a fool once and she had learned from her mistakes like most of us do. This time around she'd be smarter.

He had hurt her once. No, not Sonomi, not she. She never loved him in the first place. Why should it pain her to see him leave? Unfortunately it had pained her more then she would have ever dreamed. She found herself crying in the middle of the night thinking of those eyes. Those beautiful violet eyes filled with tears, sobbing endlessly. If those eyes had been the color of emerald, Sonomi would have lost herself again.

While it was a comfort to her aching heart it was also painful for them to look so much alike. Sonomi loved them both so much. To see one crying was like remember the other tears. When either of them did cry, it was few and bitterly awful. Sonomi hated witnessing tears. She had seen too many in her lifetime.

Sonomi shook her head furiously. There was no way she let her ex-husband see her precious Tomoyo. Tomoyo-chan, her life, her daughter was her own soul. Tomoyo was the only thing that kept her going in life. If she had not had her baby girl with her when Nadeshiko died, so many years ago, she would have left along with her dear cousin.

Her husband, the foul person he was, had made Tomoyo cry all those years ago. She had loved her father very greatly as most children do. Her eyes over flowed, those marvelous violet gemstones wept till Sonomi feared they would never stop. How much she had feared that Tomoyo's heart would have forever be broken. By a miracle perhaps Tomoyo learn to love again.

It hadn't take long for Tomoyo to stop grieving for her father. She had realized that she had her mother and friends. She was still loved and Tomoyo gave the gift back freely. Tomoyo had even tried to be Nadeshiko for her mother because she knew how much her mother missed Sakura-chan and Touya-san's mother. Tomoyo forgave her father because she was able to love again without his love, though her mother did not know of this. She had learned to love even when it wasn't returned at all.

Sonomi knew this. She had often fear how much it pained Tomoyo not be loved by the one she cared most about. Surprising to most, Tomoyo did not seem sadden by this. Sonomi knew better for she had been there. It hurt Sonomi to know her daughter would face the same gray world she had lived through. Her daughter would suffer. Would the sudden return of her long lost father make Tomoyo grieve more on the inside then she was already. Perhaps not, Tomoyo had been a very forgiving and loving child all her life.

Even at the age of sixteen Tomoyo still showed these gifts. Would she be able to forgive her father if she hadn't already? Sonomi did not want to think about it. She would not have the man she despised so much to be near her daughter once more only to hurt her again. "Never", Sonomi mumbled to herself.

But how to keep Tomoyo from him without her knowing? Maybe she did want to see her father. Tomoyo was strange at times and Sonomi was never sure exactly what she was thinking. Tomoyo may not be pleased with the knowledge of her mother keeping her from her father.

Sonomi stopped pacing and walked into her study, a place where she spent most of her time. She found a cup of tea place on her desk, not doubtfully by a maid, Sonomi knew it hadn't been there long because it was still very warm. On her desk sat the letter. She slid it out of its envelope that was address to her.

Sonomi,

I know there is no use in saying I am sorry. Too many things have been said and to few done about them. What action I took seemed like the best for our dear Tomoyo. You must know that I did and still do love her with the depth of my heart. Knowing that Tomoyo-chan is alive gets me through the day. Knowingly you do not believe a word I say. It wouldn't surprise me if you didn't, you never did. You never believe anything I told you. Not even that I loved you. You were always so caught up in the past that you never saw the present or the possibility of what the future could have been like. Do not deny it Sonomi, for you know it's true.

I have no quarrel with you. I never want to see you or speak to you again. I'm only writing this letter because I need my Tomoyo. Not just your Tomoyo. She is my daughter too. I've lived by your selfish wishes far too long and have regretted it with ever breath I take. I take it back about not wanting to say something to you. I do have something I've always wanted to say to you dear, after the night you told me to leave. Sonomi I could call you so many things right now but I dare not because I fear sweet Tomo-chan might read this and some words that I would like to write are not appropriate for her eyes. But know this Ms. Daidouji, I pity you. Yes, I pity you. Pity how you never let go of things. I pity how you don't believe in anyone's love but your own.

I often wondered if you ever loved Tomoyo the way I did. From the moment she wrapped her tiny fingers around my fingers I knew that I had finally done something right. I knew that we, yes we, had finally done something right. I never knew how you felt. I often hated myself for wondering (this was the time I loved you Sonomi) that if you only loved our precious gift from the heavens because she reminded you of Nadeshiko.

I remember when Fujitaka and Nadeshiko came the night she was born. They watched our baby through the glass window in the hospital nursery. They smiled at her. Such warm loving smiles. They loved Tomoyo too you know. I knew Nadeshiko, God bless her soul, would love her because she loved you so damn much. Too much if you ask me. But it surprised me that Fujitaka loved her too. It wasn't because she reminded him of his wife, notice the empathized on his wife dear, but he loved her because he not only loved Nadeshiko, but he loved you too. You never knew that did you Sonomi? That is why I wonder if you're able to love our daughter. I wonder because you would never accept love from anyone who wanted to love you other then you're dear sweet cousin who I loved as well. I loved you and you never knew. Nadeshiko loved you but not enough. Your grandfather loves you but you don't give him enough back. Hell, Fujitaka loved you and your whole family hated his guts. Things like that make me regret not picking Tomoyo up and taking her with me.

But I didn't Sonomi. I could have and I would have. You knew this as well. Do you know why I left her behind me all those years ago? You should, haven't I made it clear enough yet for you? You need some one who would return your love. I know you love her even though I been speaking as I do not believe it to be true. You'd have to love her because unlike me she is you. Tomoyo is part of you. You carried her for nine months inside of you. You bonded before you held her for the first time. You need Tomoyo-chan; I could always see that in your eyes. I'm jealous of your bond. I wish it had been me that had her. Ha. That truly is something funny. A man wanting to carry his child. That must give you a laugh. I envy this between you because you've always had her with you. At least if I had carried her she would have been all mine for a bit.

I need that. I need our daughter, Sonomi. I want you to share her love. I know she still loves me even after I've hurt her so much because unlike you Tomoyo will be forgiven.

She is sixteen already. She has grown so fast. No doubly she has grown into a beautiful lady. I need to see her before it's too late. Please understand me. Put yourself in my shoes. You may hate me because I've hurt Tomoyo but remember you were the one that told me to leave. You told me to leave because- Well do you remember why you told me to leave? I do. Every day I relive that moment in my head. If not for losing Tomoyo from it I would look back on the memory and smile. Come on, Sonomi tell me why you made me hurt her? Hmmm..... It's just as much your fault you know, for her pain.

You told me to leave because I said I loved you like Nadeshiko would never. But I told Tomoyo that same night, with the rain pouring down that I loved her more then you loved Nadeshiko and she understood I loved her greatly. I hate using Nadeshiko name like this. Almost in vain. She had died way before I left. It killed me using her name in an argument. I hope she can forgive me.

I don't want it or need your forgiveness, only Tomoyo. I want to see her if only for a minute. Understand how much I love her even if you hate me. Tomoyo needs more love then what she gets from you. You know this to be true. She deserves love, the angel of a child, deserves love from everyone who seen her smile. I want her to know I love her too.

Let me see her please. I ask you because you love her as well. If you won't at least tell her that I love her very much, never meant to--

At this Sonomi tore the letter into shreds. How dare he? To say he loved Tomoyo. She had told him to get out of their home not out of their daughter's life. Damn him, Sonomi cursed. He would not doubtfully write or see Tomoyo on his own with out her permission. Sonomi would never let him again. He would never hurt their daughter or she.

Sonomi wiped the tears from her eyes that threaten to run down her face. The only answer to the problem was to get Tomoyo out of Tomoeda for awhile till this blew over. But Sonomi had no time for a family vacation so many problems and complications had come up in her business. Sometimes she wished she could just hand Daidouji Toys over to the first person she met on the street. It kept her from seeing and being with Tomoyo. How would she keep Tomoyo from being hurt again?

Bring, bring

The ringing of her telephone frighten her from her troubled thoughts. She answered the phone in a rather upsetting tone for the person on the other end.

"Yes, who is this?" Sonomi snapped.

"Excuse me Ms. Daidouji, I hate to bother you at this hour." The person on the other line replied.

"Well how nice of you to remember your manners. Shame you couldn't before you distributed me." Sonomi stated.

"Yes, well sorry for that again but this is very important news that couldn't wait. I'm afraid you need to hear this as soon as possible no matter what the time of night it may be there in Japan."

"Really, I'm dying to hear what news is so important that you have the nerve of getting smart with me. Who in the hell is this?" Sonomi snapped again rather angry.

"I am Mr. Applegate, Madam. I'm from your branch in England. I'm the vice president of this office." The man replied.

"Should have known you were from England other then the accent, you're all-ruder then Americans." Sonomi answered.

"Sorry you feel that way but there is some pressing business her that needs your attention right away." Mr. Applegate told her.

"Yes, yes. What is it that is so important because I will tell you what is important. Daidouji Toys here in Japan, Vice President Applegate, we are in a major crisis. Half our workers have gone on strike for no apparent reason other then they want more money, and we are far behind with our producing rate. All the while I have a major deal with Holland coming in tomorrow and have to meet with the man myself seeing how my own vice president had decided to spend more time with his sectary in the Florida Keys while his wife is visiting her mother in Rome. Do not forget the fact that my grandfather is sick and I can't visit him because I have another company breathing down my throat to take over my business. Now I have to deal with more damn things at once then I would like too. So you Mr. Applegate, and your president of my company whether it is in Japan or England, should be able to handle a single problem by yourself. If not I will see to it that some one that is more capable of handling a job so I don't have to be on a jet for more then two hour of my life. Do I make myself clear, Applegate." Sonomi shouted over the phone line.

"Yes, Madam. We just figured you like to know that you're biggest American and French ad vestures are thinking of taking their business elsewhere if your someone from you personal branch isn't here in two days tops. Seems they rather talk to someone named Daidouji then Applegate. So I am sorry that I bothered you, but do know it has been such a pleasure talking to you today, Ms. Daidouji. May I add it makes me glad to be part of your fine line of--"

"Shut the hell up Applegate, do shut up and hold your breath for one minute if the British are capable of it or else I'll have a talk with your Queen." Sonomi barked.

Sonomi rubbed her temples with her free hand she had more then a headache coming on. It was more like a migraine. What to do? She couldn't be in two places at once. She needed to be in Japan to deal with business as well as personal problem. What a life, she thought bitterly to herself. The Americans and French want to speak to some one with Daidouji in their name. As if she didn't have enough problems. Now she had to deal with this and Tomoyo's father. It was at that moment when she realized something. It suddenly came to her, how to kill two birds with a stone. Perfect, Sonomi thought to herself.

"Mr. Applegate are you still there?" Sonomi asked calmly.

"Yes, I am still here."

"Good, you tell them they'll have a Daidouji there before their two days." Sonomi stated.

"So you've decided to come then?" Applegate asked and Sonomi was not sure whether he was pleased or not.

"No sir, not I but my daughter Tomoyo. Be assured they will much more enjoy my daughter's company then mine." Sonomi said to the man.

"Yes. I certainly hope so." Applegate replied before Sonomi laughed.

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More AN: Yes, I know that there isn't much Eriol and Tomoyo mush in here for anyone right now. Actually there is none at all. heehee But do understand that this prologue is needed to work for many things in my story. I can't just throw Tomoyo in England for no apparent reason now can I? But I promise there will be E+T in the future chapters as well as other pairing. Such as S+S and Sonomi/Fujitaka. *coughs* Sorry for the insult towards Americans, French, and English. No harm needed just wanted Sonomi to sound well you know how I want her to sound! ^-^ On other notes I am not an Yuri fan it's just how Clamp want its. *shakes head* It won't be like that for long though.

Hope your enjoying this Starchick. You have no idea how difficult this is.

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