A/N: You'll have to forgive me...I'm having relationship issues currently...I can't possibly write anything fluffy and happy...

Numb. Confused. Apathetic. Hurt.

This is how you make me feel.

I was having a good day, maybe even a great day, and then you just had to ruin it, didn't you? God, you're such a jerk!!!

I like how you used to be so sweet, so nice and innocent. What the hell happened? Why are you suddenly treating me like this? You used to share chocolate with me, you used to smile at me all the time, you used to wait for me in-between classes and so much more. You used to email me; now you won't even so much as chat with me.

Angry. Sour. Bitter. Fuming.

This is how you make me feel.

I don't even now why I bother, really. I only make the situation worse, by continuing to treat you like royalty when in return you treat me like…god, what have you done to me?! You've mutated me into a monster! I never used to curse so much, but listening to you all the time combined with the lower-than-dirt way you make me feel…

I really hate you! I HATE YOU!!! I never knew I could hate like this, just like how weeks ago I foolishly thought, 'I never knew I could love like this.' Ugh, you make me imagine violent scenarios…

Upset. Depressed. Forgotten. Unloved.

This is how you make me feel.

You know, I was sifting through our old chats, the ones from way back when, when you actually gave a damn about me and my life and my feelings. Those old chats actually made me cry, for what used to be.

Remember this one?

Oliver: hey, Lil!

Lilly: lol, Oliver, it's almost my bedtime!

Oliver: yeah, I know

Lilly: 

Oliver: 

Lilly: well…

Oliver: well…I just wanted to say goodnight to you

Lilly: awww…thank you!

Oliver: and we'll meet in the library tomorrow? First thing, okay? I have a surprise for you

Lilly: a surprise?

Oliver: yes, you'll love it

Lilly: ok 

Oliver: but I have a bedtime, too, so, I hate to be on and off so fast, but…I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night, and don't let the bed bugs bite (I hear they are really annoying)

Lilly: LOL! Night, Oliver

Oliver: night 

Remember that? Do you remember when you actually wanted to chat with me, and for more than just a few minutes? Do you even remember that night, and the next day? Remember when you gave me a lily the next day at school from your mom's garden? Remember how much I loved it, and how happy we both were all day?

Happy. Ecstatic. Adored. Floating.

This is how you used to make me feel.

But you don't miss it, do you? You don't even care. And you cannot sit there and tell me that you never did, because it is clear that, at one point, you did like me. You did want me. I felt it. You did too. So where did we go wrong? How did we get to this???

Lilly: Hey!!! You're never online anymore! I miss you!

Oliver: Sorry, can't chat. My memoir thing's due tomorrow and I was merely checking my email

Lilly: Oh, ok. Well, if you need any help, I'd be glad to help 

Oliver: Ok bye

And sometimes, you don't even say goodbye, do you? Because you're that anxious to get away from me. Did I tell you I hate you yet?

Oh, well, I don't care if I did, because it needed to be said again. I will continue to say it. Forever, and forever.

Depressed. Emotional. Lifeless. Broken.

Because this is how you make me feel.