...Surviving
James Sirius Potter II's Guide to ^ Hogwarts
By: Loligo7687

I'd like to thank my best buddy, Ashley (more commonly known as Shinja) for the story she wrote in Lauren's POV. And the first quotation McGongall says when she first meets James! Thank you again! I hope you enjoy the first chapter. James and the world of wizards belongs to J.K. Rowling. Lauren belongs to Ashley, and Vega to me.

If you have suggestions for another chapter, I'd be happy to hear it. Let me know in the reviews. Read on! (:

Loligo7687

Author's Note (5/15/11):

Just wanted to clarify that Lauren's POV is included in the chapter because Shinja wrote Lauren's side of the story and also because James' version of the ordeal would be horribly skewed and embellished on his end. xD

The guide is tangible; more or less a book he's writing it in. The Detention chapter later on would be example. This concept is also important a little later on in Chapter 25!

~Lucy

Author's Note (7/14/12):

After much thought, I've decided that it's best to place this on indefinite hiatus.

I explain a bit on my profile, but basically I've run myself into the ground with poor planning. Many of my head canons have also changed (re: more Potter sibling interactions, for example) and it's too late to start over. I want to continue to write Next Generation, but in a different verse than I've written here. I love this regardless. It was fun writing and I hope you had a nice laugh or two along the way. C:

Plus there are just so many mistakes I didn't catch and ;lfdwj;elrk;ewlkrkwe;r. Sorry! :C

Story image was edited in Photoshop and James Sirius Potter's face character is Aaron Johnson.

Thanks for reading!

~Lucy

Chapter 1: First Impressions

Dear Albus, Lily, Rose, Hugo, and anyone else who cares,

Since I don't truthfully think you guys will be able to survive the rest of your years at Hogwarts, I figured I would be nice enough to compile this loose guide for all of you. Within it, I list important issues such as Headmistress McGonagall and those infamous Howlers Ginny likes to send. Though I'd much like to revel in the fact that you'd make the same mistakes as I, I'll instead show you my past experiences. But hey, that's what big brothers and cousins are for! Enjoy!

Sincerely Yours,
James Sirius Potter II

Despite what you may all think, first impressions are very important. They determine relationships and future events believe it or not. Though I'm handsome and charming, not everyone took to me at first. The following three stories will illustrate what you should not do.

The first anecdote deals with the lovely Lauren DiGiacomo. A Seventh Year Slytherin and fiery in temper, we were acquainted at first on the Hogwarts Express. Yes, Albus, I know I'm slightly hypocritical. But I fell in love with her. And so, I'm not allowed to tell the story in my words – else I'll suffer a similar fate in the story. Lauren's point of view is present below:

This had to have been the best day of Lauren's eleven year old life. Never before had excitement ran through her veins at such an ecstatic rate as it did at that very moment, as she ran through Platform 9 ¾, on her way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had purchased all of her supplies the previous day at Diagon Alley, which was some sort of wizarding marketplace. Lauren was overwhelmed with the new sights and discoveries; she was Muggle-born, and Muggles did not teach their children about the wizard world (not that they knew of it in the first place).

Dark brown hair was pulled back in spunky pigtails that bounced off her shoulders as she walked confidently down the aisles of the Hogwarts Express. The scarlet steam engine was roaring, announcing that it would be leaving the station soon. She needed to find a seat and she needed to find it quickly.

Her blue-green eyes looked back and forth between the compartments. Most were full of older students buzzing about news of their summer adventures, while some were crowded with first year students such as herself. Everyone was anticipating an amazing time at the school, obviously. If only she could find an available seat…

Aha! Spotting a compartment with a group of first year girls giggling around it, Lauren pushed her way through. There was only one person in there; a boy about her age. He had a dark mop of brown-black hair and dark brown eyes. He had a cocky, crooked grin on his face as he talked to the ladies around him, obviously sweet-talking them to the high heavens.

The only thing worse than an overly-confident jerk was the overly-confident jerk's fan girls.

Growling something under her breath, Lauren slid the glass door open forcefully. "Unless those seats are reserved for the Queen of England, I'm sitting in here." She said harshly. She had no intention of walking any further.

The boy arched a brow. "Well, I was going to pick a few lucky ladies to grace me with their presences—"

"Exactly, you were. Now you'll just have to settle with me." She said icily.

"Uh, excuse me. Do you know who I am?" he asked.

Oh great, the kid had a title?

"You're the annoying toad who is holding up the traffic in the aisles. You're also the pathetic moron who was about to hold me back from getting in a compartment that is open to the public." Lauren replied coolly with a plastic smile.

"I'm James Potter," the boy said. Quickly he blinked a few times, as if remembering something he'd forgotten. "The second," he added quickly (as if it mattered to her).

"Oh, so we're introducing ourselves? In that case, I'm Lauren DiGiacomo," she said in a sickeningly sweet tone. "The one and only." She added in the same quick manner James did, though she was clearly sarcastic.

James obviously took offence to this.

"Uh do you have any idea who my dad was?" he asked in a diva-like tone.

Lauren rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Humor me."

"Hello! Harry Potter!" James exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. When Lauren reacted with slight puzzlement, James sighed, clapping a hand to his forehead. "Oh c'mon…The-Boy-Who-Lived!"

Lauren arched a brow.

"The one who defeated You-Know-Who…?"

Still no reaction on Lauren's part.

"You know…the ring leader of the legendary Golden Trio?" James asked, looking desperate to become recognized.

Lauren shrugged. "If all you're going to do is act like a bumbling idiot the whole ride, I might as well read a book. Better yet, I'll write one. It'll be a comedy…care to inspire me?"she asked wickedly, smirking. In the meantime, she pulled a heavy looking textbook from her trunk which she had failed to put overhead.

James narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you're cool." He muttered sarcastically. A comedy? About himself? Hah, the only funny one was her! She didn't know who Harry Potter was! What, did she live under a rock?

"At least I'm not funny looking."

Lauren snapped the book shut, grinding her teeth. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me!"

Lauren stood suddenly, grabbing James by the front of his robes, lifting him from his seat. "Any last words, Potter? You know, before I pound you into dog food?" she asked, nose inches away from James' own nose.

"Yeah. I think you look like you could model." James said in a suave tone.

Lauren's grip loosened as she eyed him suspiciously.

"You know, for death threats."

Suddenly Lauren's fist flew in a mean right hook, plowing into James' jaw. She dropped him, kicked him hard in the stomach, grabbed her trunk and left the compartment without a sound.

And so the tale began.

Yes, the tale began that very day. Our relationship was rocky and tumultuous for the next six years, until I pestered her enough to reconcile and go on a date with me. Yeah, McGonagall mentioned something about me catching my grandfather's curse, whatever that was.

Moral of the story: Don't act like a complete idiot in front of strangers. Especially if they end up in Slytherin and threaten to beat you up every day. They'll make your life hell. And there's a small chance you'll never get that first chance again…

The second story has to deal with the unexpected friendship between Vega and I. She's actually quite different from me, seeing as she studies and is quiet. I have been told I'm extremely obnoxious and ready to fail out of school any day now. Not that it hurt me at all; it could be construed as a very nice comment. That's a long shot. But even this story turned out better than I could have expected:

Albus and I were practicing Quidditch skills on the grounds since the stadium was closed to individual practice at the time. We were helping each other balance our skills between Seeker and Beater, which to say the least went well. I threw acorns at the poor kid and he did pretty well.

Anyway, we stopped practice in the middle of it. It was sort of cold since it was the beginning of December and snow was covering the ground. I hatched an idea to pass the time by launching snowballs and spells at unsuspecting victims. Albus was clearly against it, so he sat off on the sidelines.

Taking my wand from inside my jacket, I searched for my perfect target. Vega was coming toward the two of us with a bazillion books in tow and her robes showed under her winter apparel. As she walked by the tree, I silently muttered the spell to produce water to soak her clothes and books. Wouldn't that be ironic? But Albus went to stop me by producing his own spells, which somehow made me mutter another spell that accidentally produced sparks that ignited her robes.

She turned around and gasped at the sight. "Get it out!" she shrieked, looking at the both of us helplessly.

"I don't know, do something Albus! It's your fault!" I exclaimed, as he returned a sour look. He shook his head and said the spell that cast a jet of water on the spreading flames.

It turned out that she had forgotten her wand in her bag in her room, which wouldn't have helped her in this situation anyway. Vega looked once more at the smoldering flames and looked at me for an apology.

"It's not that hard, James," Albus said, poking me in my ribs. I conceded since I was caught trying to prank the poor girl.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's my nature," I said, half-heartedly.

Vega inspected us closer. "You must be the Potter boys, right? I'm Vega Madison Dering, but you can call me Vega. Oh, and I'll accept your apology. No harm done. Bye now."

She skipped off, leaving me in wonder. I was expecting some sort of retaliation, like I did with Lauren. Luckily it was the formation of a rare friendship, of which my terrible first impression set the mood off wrong but somewhat right.

Moral of the story: Setting people on fire is okay - actually not really. Don't try to prank people while your goody brother is beside you, and you'll be fine. And you might get a friendship out of it, even if their robes are singed a little.

Lastly, hopefully you've made a good impression on Headmistress McGonagall. Since she's in charge and an old bat, sometimes you can work her out of a stupid punishment like cleaning vials for the Potions teacher. Ugh, it's simply revolting at that. At least she liked our parents, mind you – that will give us some favoritism over most.

Though I swear the chair in the office has my name written all over it, sometimes…

Here's the first story of what happened in our first encounter:

After Lauren punched me in the jaw (and nose, but conveniently she forgot to mention that) and kicked me in the ribs or stomach, whatever, I ended up going right to the Hospital Wing. The very first day I went to Hogwarts, can you imagine? I couldn't heal my own nose as an inexperienced wizard!

Wincing as Madame Pomfrey worked her magical wonders on my nose and jaw, the old bat herself walked in and examined my progress.

"Well, well, well, Mr. Potter. It seems that you already have gotten yourself into mischief and you haven't even been Sorted into your House yet!" she exclaimed, adjusting her very pointed hat on her head.

"How do you know me?" I asked, slightly confused. I hadn't known anyone at Hogwarts yet; maybe she was a teacher? Oh no, she was Headmistress. Ouch.

"I know your father, Harry. He was a pupil of mine when he came here," she replied.

"Okay, so who are you?" I asked again, causing Madame Pomfrey to gasp a little. What, had I committed murder? So sue me if I didn't know!

"I'm the Headmistress of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall. Professor McGonagall will do as well," she said, addressing herself in a high manner. I guess she was allowed to.

"So, Minny, when's the Sorting going to happen?" continued my endless amount of questions, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her grimace at me.

"Professor McGonagall, if you please, Mr. Potter. I think I have the feeling that you're much like your grandfather than your father now."

"Wait, like Grandpa Arthur? I'm going to like Muggle artifacts?"

McGonagall face palmed herself. "No, your other grandfather; your namesake, James."

"Oh. Okay?" I replied, slightly confused. She shook her head.

"Nevermind, Mr. Potter. The ceremony will begin shortly. Hopefully Madame Pomfrey will patch you up before then. And I'd advise you to not engage in any conversation with Ms. DiGiacomo any time soon."

With that, the old bat left. And I would be seeing her once a week after that – I always found a way into her office. I had my own practical password, you know.

Moral of the story: Have parents that went to Hogwarts and were on good terms with McGonagall. That way, she can't really rag on you. On the downside, she can contact your parents easily. Though the benefits I've gotten were my own personal password and free trips from class. And never, ever, call her Minny unless you want to spend a week with Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest…