I'm not scared of being alone,
I'm just happier being confused
beside the fire as long as it's with you.
Why should that fire die?

Nickel Creek

"No, no, no," I say, nodding in disapproval. "You have to curl your lips up at their sides like this." I pull the edges of my mouth upward into the creepiest grin I could manage and dilate my pupils for added measure. This earned me an immediate fit of giggles from the only other person in the car. I couldn't even finish my impression because Jonny was writhing in the space of his passenger seat in a matter of seconds.

"Am I right or am I right?" I ask, giggling somewhat sheepishly now that I realize I might've looked more stupid than impressive. It took Jonny a good moment to regain his composure.

"Oh, Jess," he groans, unable to utter anything but grunts of laughter now that he grips his stomach in agony, begging for the amusement to stop. This was getting ridiculous.

"Jonny, come on!" I say exasperatedly as I punch him in the arm, expecting to knock some seriousness back into his feeble form. He takes a deep breath, straightens himself up and then turns to look at me. My patience is now depleting by the second. "It's the temper of a Bannon, darlin'!" I could hear dad say somewhere in the back of my head. I roll my eyes at the thought.

"That was the best Jeremiah Surd impression you've ever done," Jonny says in his most formal tone. He shoots a hand up to me and I high five him satisfyingly. It was nice to finally get credit for stuff like this; Jonny is always the one putting on a show but I was the mastermind behind all of the subtle nuances in personalities. Anyway, I digress.

"Hey," I say after a time, eager to shift the subject, "remember what you asked me last week? About lunch?"

"Yeah," Jonny says easily, "what about it?"

My train of thought had suddenly disappeared in that moment as the Rockport breeze whirled through the car like a banshee. All traces of laughter fade with the wind and we sit in silence for a while. Jonny looks out at the ocean and I catch myself staring at him in all his glory. I see the way his blonde tresses sway to and fro with the breeze. "You have such beautiful hair," I blurt out a second later, my want getting there before my brain. I reach out and comb my fingers through all that feathery softness and silently thank the gods of the universe that Jonny didn't object this time. Then again, I couldn't think of a time when he ever objected to this sort of thing.

"Here we go again," he says defeatedly as he drops his hands in his lap.

"But I'm serious," I say. My fingers continue their exploration and I'm rendered somewhat speechless as I realize that I've been fond of that hair since I was a little girl. And now I'm suddenly eager for him to understand how much I love this part of him among others. "It's like silk."

"If you like my hair that much, you can have it," he says evenly, his gaze still lost in the water. I laugh as my hands drop back down to my own lap and follow his vision out to sea.

Our view was spectacular. There really was no place like home. We had spent the better part of our lives traveling the world but every time we came home, it felt right. The chaos of whatever predicament we'd found ourselves in would ebb away and then disappear. Our home made the abundance of our lives that much sweeter. During summers like this one, we would spend most of our time wandering around town, driving to wherever our hearts directed us. Best part of all that was that dad was becoming more lenient with age and as a result, he would let me take one of his cars out for a joy ride. I managed to convince him of how responsible I was, that in all the time I've had my license, never once have I gotten ticketed. Nor did I ever violate road rules the way Jonny did. Anyway, today was one of our luckier days and we were riding in style.

"Hey," Jonny says, interrupting our peaceful silence, "how did it go with Dean?"

"Oh." I bit my lip, hoping against hope that I wouldn't end up sobbing uncontrollably and blurt out all of the profanities that had been whirling in my head ever since Dean told me he no longer wanted a relationship. I look at Jonny and smile halfheartedly. "Well," I began shakily, "he said it was going nowhere, that he wanted something better."

"He what?" Jonny spat, his sudden anger catching me off guard. "Who the hell is he to tell you that?" I saw the intensity rising in his blue eyes as he tensed up at the thought.

"Relax Jonny, it's been awhile since all of that." I meant for this to come out calm but instead heard my voice laden with a dull sadness as I barely managed to squeak it out. I look over at Jonny and his eyes immediately soften into concern.

"How come you didn't tell me this sooner?" He asks.

"Because I didn't want you to worry," I say as I unsuccessfully pull up the corners of my mouth into a feeble smile. Jonny throws an arm over me and pulls me in close. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes at the sudden contact. I snuggle into his curves. "He said I wasn't good enough for him," I mumble into his warm chest a moment later.

"The guy is an absolute moron," he says softly, running a hand through my hair. He squeezes me tighter, hoping I can feel his love, hoping this simple notion of human comfort would erase my sadnesses. In that moment, it does ease the tightness I've felt in my chest since Dean spoke to me that day. And much the way day turns to night, I was reminded of how much I had loved moments like this with Jonny. I would fall into a comfortable daze and lose myself in his warmth for however long. The waves crash against the rocky shore and grow louder as the evening wore on. After what seems an eternity, I gently pull away to put some distance between us.

"Maybe he was right," I say, my cheeks flushed and stained with tears. Jonny opens his mouth to protest but I place a finger over his soft lips so I could continue. "I tend to screw up things like this, Jonny. I always feel the need to hold my ground." I laugh dryly to myself at the thought. "I'm not dainty or sensitive or desirable. I can't blame him for wanting something different, something more."

"Don't say that, Jess," he nods in furious disagreement. His fingers tangle themselves around mine and he squeezes my hand. "There is no one like you. You're brave because you have to be, for your mom and for Race. Your love for others is a fierce kind of love and I'm here because of that, because I love you just as deeply." He smiles lovingly, hoping that I would get the gist of his words, that I would believe him.

"I know, but-"

"But nothing," Jonny says evenly. "Dean is the idiot who never had a chance to really know you. He's the one who's missing out on someone special, not you." Before I could protest, he holds up a hand so that I could let him finish. "Jess, you're one of the greatest people I know. Don't let that asshole tell you anything different."

I laugh, the tears drying up just as quickly as they came. I lean in and wrap my arms around him once more, grateful that he was here with me. "I love you," I say, my small voice muffled by the crashing waves. Oddly enough, I felt like the words had meant something different this time. As I look up to gage his reaction, my thoughts are confirmed. He looks down at me with wide eyes and then smiles.

"I love you more," he says quietly, more to himself than to me.

"I love you infinitely more," I say under my breath as I close my eyes and focus on the rhythmic beat of his heart.

"You know, my offer still stands."

I was quiet for a little while before Jonny nudged me to look up at him and reply. I grinned, unable to say anything purposeful except that "I forgot about that." He smiles, unaware that I've been trying to avoid the inevitable. A few more seconds of silence pass before I pull away and eye him cautiously. "You know why I haven't taken you up on that offer, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know," he says rather sullenly. "You don't wanna lose me." He nods to himself rather disappointingly, as if that weren't a legitimate reason. He also happened to look like a 10-year-old who had just been defeated in a game of handball. I couldn't restrain myself and let out a shrill of giggles, to which he looked back at me with wide eyes. "What's so funny?" He asks, taken aback.

"N-Nothing," I manage to sputter out. My giggles ran their course and after a minute of miserably failing to control myself, I sigh in defeat. "Fine."

"What?"

"I'll take you up on your offer."

I could see an alarming mix of surprise and pleasure washing across Jonny's face as he tried his best to suppress them. He then crossed his arms and looked at me rather sternly. "Don't do me any favors," he said as he raised a hand to illustrate his point.

"This isn't a favor, Jonny Quest." I realize how tense and high my voice had sounded and then realize that Jonny had been doing what he does best - irritating me to no end. Worst part about all this is that he's annoyingly good at it.

"Then say it like you mean it," he egged on. I stare at him incredulously and see that he can barely contain himself. He was unbelievable.

"Jonny, I'd like to go out with you," I deadpan, hoping I put some bite into it. This, of course, didn't phase him one bit.

"All right, all right," he says in mock exasperation. "I'll go out with you if you stop begging like that. It's so unlike you, Jess." He flashes his widest grin at me. What a sight for sore eyes. I look at him hard before my walls break away and I return the childish grin. Then I laugh.

"I can't believe we're doing this," I say.

"Why not?" He asks, his boyish grin in full form. "It doesn't really change anything." He takes my hand in his and gives it another squeeze.

I take a moment to dwell on that thought and decide that he's right. For all that we've been through, being together wouldn't change anything. It might actually make things better. Dad and Dr. Quest would be ecstatic and probably surprised that this didn't happen sooner. Hadji would be relieved only because he had the unfortunate luck of becoming our middle ground whenever other relationships failed us. All in all, this would be a good thing. It certainly felt right here with Jonny.

"What are you thinking about?" Jonny asks, breaking my reverie.

"You," I say. "Mind if I try something?" To my usual delight, he nods with a welcoming smile. And rather than following my brain's rational instructions to go slow, my physical want thought it better to do it as quickly as I could, just to save us from the awkward embarrassment that was bound to follow. I lean in and place my lips on his. We're as still as statues for the first few seconds before I feel the blush crawling up my cheeks, already tormenting me for this stupid notion. But then Jonny tilts his head to the side and presses his lips into mine. Our eyes remain closed as the kiss lingers. I'm in perpetual shock because of the sensations being aroused within me. Jonny tastes like mint and honey and that intoxicating aftershave sends a chill up my spine. The hairs on my neck stand on end. I know he feels this too. I throw my arms around his neck as we begin exploring each other's contours. He compliments my movement by wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in just a bit closer. And the heat rises even higher, a bolt of electricity pulsing through us as our tongues dance in bliss together. I catch myself breathless and wanting so much more of him before I feel him pulling away from me, panting hard. I look at him in total confusion and he laughs. I'm still in shock before it wears off and I realize what just happened. "Why are you laughing?" I say, my breath still uneven.

"Because that was incredible," he says evenly. His laughter fades and he looks at me uncertainly. "Wasn't it?"

"It was amazing," I say delightfully, grinning like an idiot. He beams at me and then places a hand on my thigh. We sit in silence for a while longer as the Rockport breeze grew colder. There were so many thoughts running through my head.

"Let's get dinner," he says a moment later, peering out the window at the darkening sky. Our fingers are still entwined. "I'm starving."

"That's a good idea," I say as my stomach growls in agreement. Love will do that to you. I revved the engine and pulled out of our favorite spot by the beach.

For the first time in a long time, I felt extraordinarily great. To love my best friend in more ways than one was a welcome change. For both of us.

Notes:

Who wouldn't want to fall in love with Jonny. I really love these two together thanks to *ahem* Ghost Quest. This teeny little convo was floating around in my head so I had to write out. Thanks for reading.