Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I thought I should give FMA some love, since I've focused on FFVII so far.

Children were something that Edward Elric had little experience with. He felt uncomfortable around them, seeing as they had no sense of what was proper behaviour. They pointed out his automail, asked questions about Al, and generally made life difficult. All of this was going through his head while the Colonel described his latest mission.

"-and so that is why we need you to mind the class for an afternoon. Any questions?" Mustang leaned back in his comfortable chair, watching Ed's face change from annoyed to horrified. Ed glared at him.

"Yeah. Let me get this straight: I have to watch a classroom full of kindergarteners?" he looked at Roy, who nodded, hiding a smirk behind interlaced fingers. "I have to teach a classroom full of children for a whole afternoon that I could be using to do research?" Again, he nodded. Ed steamed. "What does this have to do with the military?!"

"Questioning orders, Fullmetal?" Roy asked smugly. The boy twitched.

"You are going to die. DIE, Mustang, you hear me?" he shouted, slamming the office door on his way out.

Ed stomped into the classroom. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. A room full of eager young minds, ready to learn from him, Edward Elric! Maybe he could inspire some to become Alchemists. Ed stopped at the front of the room, and froze. Twenty or so children were simply staring at him. What was he supposed to do with them?

"Uhh. Hi. I'm Edward Elric. Uh. I'm taking over for your teach today, got it? Any questions?" Five hands shot up at once and Ed nodded to one. "Yeah?"

"Why you got a weird coat on? Like a dress?"

"It's a very cool jacket. You wish you had a jacket like this," Ed fumed. Another kid piped up.

"Why you got long hair like a girl?" What was this, twenty questions?

"It's too bothersome to get it cut all the time. So… today I think we'll start with-"

"Why dya have gloves on? Its springtime!"

"I said we're going to start with-"

"Why are you so much shorter then sensei?" That was it. Screw Mustang.

"Ok kids. I've got a game!" Ed sing-songed sweetly. The kids cheered. "Just follow after me ok?" The kids nodded enthusiastically. "Iiiiiif you're happy and you know it…"

A loud explosion shocked Mustang in his office. He dropped his coffee mug. It originated from somewhere near the school Ed was teaching at…

"EDWARD ELRIC! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"

No children were harmed in the making of this drabble.