Rocketshipping – the low-angst version. Enjoy.

The Most Beautiful Girl in Team Rocket
by ShinyAeon

The ugliest creature imaginable shuddered and shambled from the forest, its misshapen hulk lurching obscenely on three legs

"A monster!" Meowth yelled, jumping into James's arms

"And a particularly horrible one!" James squealed, clinging to his Pokémon friend in abject terror.

The monster hulked closer, blocking the only path out of their little campsite clearing.

"We're gonners for sure!" Meowth bawled, burying his face in James's absorbent shirt.

James tried to bury his face in Meowth's fur, but ended up just whapping himself on the nose with Meowth's golden charm. He settled for just closing his eyes tight as he trembled against a tree trunk, and cried out his panicked, unconscious wish:

"Why oh why isn't Jessie here to protect us?!"

The hideous monster sighed, and spoke to them.

"Whoever said chivalry wasn't dead...didn't see YOU two pulling the plug on its life-support."

It said this with Jessie's voice.

Meowth raised his head. "D-dat monster..."

"...ATE Jessie!" James finished in horror.

At once, Meowth slashed him furiously with his claws. "It didn't eat Jessie, you moron! It IS Jessie!"

"EEEE!" James pushed Meowth away and clapped a hand to his cheek. "That's impossible! Jessie's not a hideous ugly monster! She's the most beautiful girl in Team Rocket!"

The hideous, ugly monster lifted its lumpen head. "You really think so...?" Then it slumped. "Well...I'm NOT ANY MORE!"

It dropped its "third leg" with a wooden clatter, and burst into tears.

As James and Meowth stared, dumbstruck, the outlines of the monster resolved themselves into Jessie: blackened, muddy, bruised and bloody. Her right boot had been slashed all the way through the leather, and beneath was a cut that was shallow but long enough to produce a frightening amount of blood.

The left side of her face was so bruised that her eye was squeezed tightly shut, and, most horrible of all, half her hair was gone, burnt off to a shoulder-length hank on one side, the ends blackened and twisted. The other half of her hair tried feebly to stay in its usual curve, but ended up just making a sad sort of zig-zag.

"Oh, Jessie..." James started forward.

"DON'T!" Jessie swooped and picked up the thick tree-branch she'd been using as a crutch—the "monster's" third leg—and leveled it in his general direction. It was marked from battle already, with scorches and bite-marks scarring its length. "Stay away from me!"

"But Jessie, you're hurt!" James said, nevertheless shying away from the branch.

"Wha' happened?" Meowth said, awestruck by the level of destruction. "You was just going to that little store to get some hair gel!"

"A badly trained, vicious Arcanine happened!" Jessie winced. "I only wanted to take a shortcut across its stupid yard, and the damn thing tried to kill me!"

James shook his head. "But...your Pokémon..."

"...are in their Pokéballs!" she said furiously. And then her face broke into embarrassed misery. "In my other skirt!" She burst into tears again, and started to sway on her feet.

Meowth winced in sympathy, but James suddenly dashed forward, dodging past her branch, and caught Jessie as she sagged.

"Get away!" Jessie fought him, but clumsily, hampered by her injuries. James ignored her, scooping her up in his arms with a slight huff of effort. He carried her, literally kicking and screaming, to the fallen log in their campsite, while Meowth made a quick dash to the balloon's basket.

"Let go of me! Don't touch me, don't LOOK at me!"

"Easy, now I'm setting you d—OUCH!" Meowth heard James drop her the last foot or so. "Jess, be reasonable! You're being ridiculous!"

"That's right!" Meowth said as he grabbed their hefty first-aid kit out of the balloon's basket and lugged it over to his partners. "Come on, Jess, you need help!"

"NOTHING can help me now, you imbeciles!" From her seat on the log, she fixed them with a glare, her one unharmed blue eye an awful counterpoint to the swollen, bruised remains of her beauty. "Look at me—I'm HIDEOUS!"

"No, you're not!" Meowth and James said in unison.

Meowth was astonished, and impressed, at James's reaction time. Usually James had to take a few minutes to rehearse before he could deliver a bald-faced lie in any convincing way.

Of course, Jessie wasn't going to be satisfied with such a flat contradiction of visible fact, so Meowth added smoothly, "You're just...not lookin' your best at the moment."

"And I never will again!" Jessie screamed in furious grief. "I'm hardly 'the most beautiful girl in Team Rocket' NOW, am I?!"

"Certainly not," James said softly.

The quiet agreement shocked her into silence.

Even Meowth was horrified, and looked at James like he'd grown fangs and tried to bite her. It wasn't like James to kick someone who was down.

But James looked steadily at Jessie's uninjured eye. "You're the most beautiful girl in the world."

Jessie gaped at him. "Y-you don't...mean that." Then her anger returned. "Don't you dare lie to me!"

But James just gave her a gentle smile. He looked her over—every scorched, injured, ragged inch of her—and met her eye again. "I'm a lousy liar, Jessie. So you must believe me when I say you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and you always will be."

Meowth was just as stunned as Jess. James WAS a lousy liar, especially to his friends, but he sure looked convincing. Had he gone blind, or flipped out entirely?

But Jessie visibly calmed. "Oh, please," she said, but there was a forlorn hope beneath the sarcasm.

"Cross my heart and hope to get thundershocked," James said.

James was either being really smart, or really stupid, Meowth thought as he put water on a clean towel. Then he shook his head, dismissing both theories. No, James was just being James – speaking from his heart, like usual. His head wouldn't catch up till next Tuesday.

Meowth caught his breath. If James's heart honestly thought Jessie was beautiful, looking like this...

"I really didn't think scorched black was my best color," Jessie said, making a joke; but her teasing was molecule-thin, a fragile film over her ravaged emotions. A dust-mote of doubt would break it.

"No color would ever dare look less than stunning on you," James said, taking the damp towel from Meowth beginning to dab at the soot on Jessie's bruised face.

"Hmph," Jessie said, not convinced...but wanting to be. "I doubt anyone else would say that if I went walking into town right now."

"The new look's a bit...daring...for provincial sensibilities," James said with a half-smile. "We may have to tone it down for the yokels, but to a sophisticated eye like mine, nothing could ever dim your beauty, Jessica." Then he gave her the ultimate compliment. "It outshines even mine. I could never look half this good with those injuries."

"James...!" Jessie said, staring at him. A strange astonishment came over the uninjured half of her features. "Y-you...really mean that?"

Meowth was watching them closely, so he saw the exact moment when it happened: when James realized what he'd been saying, and what it meant, and gave a startled, wondering nod...and when Jessie, too vulnerable in this state to slam shut her defenses, let the sincerity of his words sink in to her core....and melted like a ton of hot butter.

Meowth saw the exact moment when they fell in love.

Nothing changed outwardly. Maybe the tears in Jessie's good eye trembled a little, but otherwise neither of them moved a muscle. Meowth just FELT the change all around them. It was a little like when Chimecho used to use Heal-Bell, only without the actual ringing sound; it seemed to permeate everything the same way, changing the very feel of the air in the campsite. But rather than lulling and soothing, it awakened and intensified everything.

They didn't do anything but stare at each other, but Meowth still felt like a voyeur.

Then, hesitantly, James touched Jessie's uninjured cheek and leaned forward. Jessie began to pull back, almost unconsciously, a skeptical doubt creeping back into her face, but James gently cupped his hand around the nape of her neck and held her as their lips...connected.

Jessie's eye went wide, and she made a small, helpless sound; then she closed her eye and leaned into him. Their arms went around each other like they had so many times in fear, but there was no fear there this time, only a deep joy.

It was the most beautiful thing Meowth had ever seen. He just stood there as it lasted, reduced to a speechless puddle of Meowth-tinted mush.

At last, James gently drew back and said, "I really meant it, Jess. The most beautiful girl in the whole world."

Jessie tried hard not to smile, and failed. "I think you've blasted off one time too many, James. But..." she touched her fingertip lightly to his chest, "I think I could get used to it."

"I'm glad," James said, "because I don't think I could survive if you couldn't."

Jessie leaned forward to kiss James again.

Because Meowth was so happy for them, he set down the first aid kit and tried to back away quietly.

But (because he was also a little bit envious), when he couldn't get more than two feet away before their second kiss drifted out of the realm of "beautiful" and tried to encroach onto "get a room" territory, he had to say something.

"Hey, you two!" he blurted. "Stop the countdown already! First aid before foreplay!"

"MeOWTH!" they both chorused, shocked, annoyed, and blushing like crazy.

Meowth deftly jumped out of range of their simultaneous swings, cackling at their totally-busted expressions.

James tried to glare, but he couldn't quite keep the loopy grin off his face. "Meowth, why don't you take a little walk?"

"Preferably off an even littler pier," Jessie added tartly.

Meowth felt a burst of relief – Jessie was herself again! To cover that grin up, he said, "Fine! I'll just go down to that little store myself. I tink I need to buy somethin'."

"Like what?" James asked, falling for it.

"Earplugs," Meowth said, feigning disgust, "for tonight."

Jessie's one visible eye suddenly looked amused. "What makes you think we're - "

" - going to wait for tonight?" James finished.

And they gave him matching, wicked smiles.

"Eeaah!" In real fear, Meowth beat a hasty retreat.

As he trotted away, a cynical part of him took the opportunity to say, Schmuck! You should have interrupted them sooner! Now they're going to be insufferable, and you're never going to get a full night's sleep again!

But the rest of him was unabashedly happy – drunk with vicarious joy that his friends had finally found each other. And Meowth knew he'd stay that way.

As long as that store had earplugs.