Title: Comfortably numb
Author: kira
Word Count: 1557 (I blew the word count out of the water with this one…^^;)
Rating: Adult+
Characters: Jakotsu, Bankotsu, Sesshomaru, Naraku
Genre: crack!porn
Universe: Modern AU
Summary: Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll…
Warning: yaoi, bondage, prescription drug use, weirdness…

Author's note: Special thanks to my beta, Jen, for polishing this and helping me to make it shine! Special thanks also go out to Tas, for behind the scenes cheerleading…

FYI: According to the yen to US dollars converter I used while writing this, 500 yen is $5.10.

FYI 2: This is a side story to one I wrote called, "Best laid plans," in which Jakotsu breaks his leg in a sex-related accident. No knowledge of that fic is needed to enjoy this one.

FYI 3: Kinbaku is a style of Japanese bondage designed to give pleasure to one's bottom. Trying someone up in this manner also produces an intricate design of cords and knots.

For the awesomeness that is n0t_again… Shine on, you crazy diamond!

"There is no pain you are receding
"A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
"You are only coming through in waves.
"Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
"When I was a child
"I caught a fleeting glimpse
"Out of the corner of my eye.
"I turned to look but it was gone
"I cannot put my finger on it now
"The child is grown,
"The dream is gone.
"I have become comfortably numb." From "Comfortably Numb" by D. Glimour &

888

Jakotsu reached over and grabbed the bottle of pain medication, wincing as he did so. He shook a pill out into his palm, and bringing his hand up, he popped it in his mouth. Grabbing his cup of tea, he drank, swallowing the pill before it could leave a bitter taste behind. Setting everything back on the side table, he closed his eyes and waited for it to kick in.

He was glad Bankotsu had decided to hold the meeting with Youkai in their apartment rather than the conference room over at Lucky Seven Records because he was bored out of his mind. The forced inactivity of his broken leg had left him house bound for the past two weeks, which was not really a bad thing, since he got to spend more time with his life-partner and it was nice to have some company too. It was the summer rain he could live without. The damp, while refreshing, since it had broken the mid-June heat wave, was making his leg throb something fierce. He hated taking the prescription medication; it gave him the strangest dreams, but it was either pop Tylenols like they were candy without any relief or take it and hope for the best. Sighing softly, as he loosened the ties on his happi jacket to expose his lucky panties, he listened to the snatches of conversation going on in the dining room.

"Kagura's got to appear in court next Tuesday. I keep telling her to just ignore Kikyou…"

"I know what you mean… I've been telling her that too, but she doesn't listen so I'm going to court too, Kouga," Naraku replied.

"Good… I just wish the girls would get along because it would make life so much easier if they did."

"Tell me about it," Naraku smirked.

"We're trying to have a meeting here, if that's okay with you," Sesshomaru cut in.

"Hey, Ban, who died and left Sessh in charge?"

"I thought I did…" Bankotsu said dryly.

"Did he sleep with you to get that position?" Naraku smirked. "Because if that's all it takes…" He leered at his boss as everyone chuckled over Bankotsu's annoyed expression. "It's been what since Jak broke his leg? Two weeks? That's a long time to go without nookie. You know, if you want, I can lend some of my porn to tie you over until he's better. I have some good stuff, you might like… no?"

"I kept your best stuff…" Jak murmured from the adjoining living room.

"So that's where it went…"

"Anyway, since Jak is out of commission, what if we do something different? Like maybe a costume piece, some scifi adventure or something…" Sesshomaru continued as if there had not been any interruptions.

"I still can't believe they actually had a real honest to goodness catfight… with hair pulling, nails flying, ripping their clothes to shreds catfight. It was like watching bad porn," Miroku added, ignoring Sesshomaru's attempt at leading the meeting.

The sounds of the guys' laughter had Jakotsu chuckling softly to himself at the memory. The band had been on tour in Osaka and the cross-dresser was able to spend the weekend with them there as it was an easy half hour train ride and back. After the concert, they had gone for diner where the sake had flowed like water. Once they had got back to the hotel, the band decided to have another quick round in the hotel's bar, leaving the wives, along with Jakotsu, to go back up to their rooms. As they made their way down the hall, a fight erupted between Kouga's wife, Kagura, and Naraku's wife, Kikyou. Just like Naraku had said, the two women had a fur flying catfight of epic proportions, resulting in the arrest of the two of them for disturbing the peace. It had taken a couple of the guys to pull them apart. In fact, they were all lucky they were not arrested along with the two combatants.

Talk of the "incident" and the women's court dates swirled in his drug-fogged brain to give him one wild ride of dream as he drifted off to sleep…

Jakotsu opened his eyes to find himself sitting on a dais. He looked down at the richly embroidered kimono he wore and he had a moment of panic when he could not remember his lines. Thankfully the man playing the daimyo turned out to be his life-partner, Bankotsu, and he breathed a quick sigh of relief. Just like in a typical period piece, they sat there, listening to various courtiers and samurai petition them. Suddenly the scene shifted without warning, and they were walking outside in one of the palace's gardens. Two women were there, fighting, pulling each other's hair, and ripping their beautiful kimono. Bankotsu shouted at them, and taking Jakotsu's hand, they hurried towards the women.

As they drew closer, the women changed into youkai and Jakotsu nearly doubled over with laughter. The youkai were none other than his ex-lover, Naraku and his good friend, Sesshomaru, their faces painted like anime characters. The two circled each other, snarling fiercely. Naraku tensed and strained as tentacles erupted from his chest, sweeping towards Sesshomaru. The silver haired youkai nimbly danced out of the way, a bright light flowing from his fingertips outwards to form a long thin line of energy he used like a whip. It effortlessly cut through the tentacles, leaving Naraku defenseless… or so it seemed. Just then, a dark cloud of noxious looking gas flowed out around Naraku, spreading threateningly towards Sesshomaru.

"Nice try," Sesshomaru scoffed at him, "but I've been in a compact car with Bankotsu, after he had been living it up on Kirins and takoyaki. Your puny miasma will have no effect on me."

"Hey!" Bankotsu cried indignantly as he moved forward, shielding his lover from the conflict. Jakotsu giggled at his life-partner's protective stance, a giant halberd held defensively in front of him, but stood behind Bankotsu none-the-less and watched the fight.

As the battle heated up, bits of their clothing disappeared until at last Sesshomaru had the naked Naraku at his mercy. Fisting a handful of wavy dark hair the blond tugged hard, snapping the other's head back to expose his throat. In a move from a cheesy vampire flick, Sesshomaru leaned over to lick Naraku's neck. He moaned softly as the blond moved to stand between his knees.

Jakotsu blinked. He was naked and on his knees, and Sesshomaru was busy biting his neck like some demented vampire. When the cross-dresser moaned, the blond set to work, binding him kinbaku style. Blinking again, Jakotsu saw himself binding his ex-lover, wrapping his genitals, slipping the ends of the cord between his buttocks. Naraku looked as though he was covered in a delicate spider web made of fine silken cords. Blinking again he was there, and yet, not there as no one seemed aware of his presence.

Sesshomaru knelt in front of Naraku, kissing him tenderly as he cupped the other man's heavy sack. As his hands wandered over the bound man's body, Sesshomaru grew shorter and darker, until it was Bankotsu having his way with not Naraku, but Jakotsu as the cross-dresser stood in the shadows and watched. Things shifted in a never–ending dance in his dreamscape, with Jakotsu sometimes voyeuristically watching himself pleasure another version of himself.

Just when things couldn't get any stranger, a giant box of pocky walked up him and demanded he pay him five hundred yen or else he was going to turn his life-partner Bankotsu into a woman. The cross-dresser, who suddenly found himself tied up again, struggled against his bindings. He opened his mouth to yell, "NO!!" but nothing came out. Shaking his head, Jakotsu watched in horror as Bankotsu slowly turned into a woman and when the cross-dresser looked down, he saw he was a woman too.

"What the hell?!" he cried when he realized he was Bankotsu, himself, Sesshomaru and Naraku all in rapid succession, before becoming himself again. Jakotsu also found himself far removed from the action. Floating above, he watched Sesshomaru pleasured Naraku orally. As the blond's head bobbed up and down, Jakotsu could feel a little knot of pleasure forming his belly. It blossomed outwards, growing more and more intense, until he could hold back no longer. The cross-dresser climaxed…

"Thanks for coming over here," Bankotsu said, "I really appreciate it. I'll make the calls and get things set up so we can start shooting in another week or two."

"Okay," Sesshomaru said as the others said good bye. He was about to say something else when Jakotsu let out a soft moan and both men looked over at him. "Nice underwear he's got on there, uh…" Sesshomaru chuckled. "That, uh… must have been some dream…"

Bankotsu grinned. "Yeah…" He's going to be mortified when he wakes up…

"You two must be really missing the nookie, hunh?"

"Why? You offering?" Bankotsu quirked his eyebrow at the blond guitarist, who blushed, and said, "I didn't think so… Just keep this between the two of us, Sessh, okay?" he smiled, leaving the "or else" unsaid. "I don't want Jak wondering if everyone knows what happened next time he sees you. It's bad enough everyone teases the hell out of him about how he broke his leg."

"Will do, Boss-man…"