DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, I NEVER WILL,

IT HURTS TO DAY BUT I DON'T! ALL BELONGS

TO

One-Shot

It was a Saturday night and all of us apart from Emmett were crowded in the living room. I was on the couch, with Edward, I snuggled into Edward's perfect chest, inhaling his perfect, irresistible scent. I removed my head from his chest,

"Where is Emmett," I questioned. Everyone burst into a chorus of laughter. Edward kissed my temple,

"He is hunting, love," I knew he was lying,

"Yes because, hunting is THAT funny," I mumbled, I said crossing my arms pouting, "It is," He said, everyone started laughing, hard.

"Fine," I said, getting up walking out of the room, Edward rushed to my side, picking me up and placed me on the couch, I shook my head,

"I do not want to sit on the couch with you" I said stubbornly [A/N: I know this is really OOC] I made my way and sat next to Alice, Edward pouted, "Bella, love I am sorry," I he looked at me with his topaz eyes, I sighed,

"fine," He signalled me to come over to him. I got up and walked back over to him, pecking him on the lips, he smiled. Knowing I had given in,

"So where is Emmett?" I asked, Alice disappeared, she entered with a tape, this should explain. She put it in

Emmett came on camera in a tutu, he was on a big stage, there were 3 people sitting behind a desk, "So…" The lady glance down at the sheet of paper, "Emmett Cullen, what will you be doing today?" Emmett looked up, "I will be performing a dance to my favourite song of all time," He said,

"Go ahead," The man said,

"Thank you…" Emmett paused to look at the name card, "Mr PeteBottom," Emmett laughed, Mr Petebottom looked at Emmett,

"Do you find my name comical?" Emmett shook his head, " No I don't sir," Emmett did a thumbs up, the music began, It was from Billy Elliot, Emmett started gracefully prancing across the stage, He leapt, twirled and leapt. The music came to a stop, Emmett looked at them expectantly,

"So, did you like it…who am I kidding, of course you did," Emmett said confidently. The judges shook their head. The camera zoomed in on Mr Petebottom,

"Well, I think it was…different," He said, Emmett smiled, thinking it a compliment,

The camera then focused on Judge 2,

"Well I didn't expect someone so big, to dance, like that, could you do a leap for me please?" She asked, Emmett leapt across the stage. The stage gave way under his weight, The judges stared in disbelief,

"I thought that might happen."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!" Emmett asked, screaming, before the judges could reply he carried on,

"YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T NEED THIS, I BET ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER WOULD SNAP ME UP QUICK" [A/N he is like a musical manager :)] The judges looked at him, " I'm not sure they would…" Mr Petebottom said, Emmett narrowed his eyes,

"WELL AT LEAST MY NAME DOESN'T MEAN ASS!" Emmett shouted, storming of the stage. He came back on,

"For future refrences, remember the name Emmett Cullen, E-M-M-E-T-T SPACE C-U-L-L-E-N!" He said he looked directly at the camera,

"ALICE I HOPE THAT IS A BIG IPOD WITH A CAMERA! IT BETTER NOT BE A CAMCORDER," He shouted, he approached the camera, the camera went black.

"So that's what Emmett does every Sunday?" I questioned everyone nodded, we all started laughing. Alice stood up, bowing her head, "May that camera rest in piece, it died doing the thing it loved, recording Emmett make an ass out of himself! The tape barely made it out alive, but it made it." She said jokingly. Emmett walked in, Alice ran up and took out the tape.

"Hey Emmett, what did you do," I said faking innocence. He looked down,

"umm---I went hunting," He lied, I nodded,

"Okay, I hope you didn't break any stages, or cameras," Rosalie joked. Emmett narrowed her eyes,

"Alice you didn't show her the tape, that can not be shown?" He asked. Alice looked away,

"Nooo" She said. I got up,

"I need the toilet," Edward said, he leapt and twirled out the room, Emmett gasped.

"ALICE!!"

"What Emmett, Bella wanted to know where you were, I couldn't lie to her!" Alice said, I smirked,

"So how did it go today Emmett?" I asked,

"Well I am banned from the theatre down the road," He answered. Alice got up and ran out of the room, "Okay, let's add that to the list, on the list it had thousand of theatre names."

THEATRE OF ENGLAND

One read.

"You went to England to perform?!" I asked. Emmett looked at me,

"I am dedicated." Emmett said. Carlisle walked in with Esme,

"Did we miss anything?" They asked.

HOPE YOU LIKE IT! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW, I LOVE THIS LOL! GOOD? YES/NO?! REVIEW TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!! DID IT MAKE YOU LAUGH? SCALE 1-5 5 BEING PISSING YOURSELF…CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES