Obligatory Disclaimer
Hack is red
Slash is blue
I don't own ReBoot
So please don't sue
It was several nanoseconds before AndrAIa finally stood up and started walking. Her feet hurt, her head hurt, it was hard to maintain focus. He knees wobbled beneath her as she made her way towards her quarters.
She was still furiously depressed. She was coping with the knowledge, the loss and the lies, all at once. And she didn't even have Matrix to hold her hand and stroke her hair as she cried. But it was his fault she was even feeling this way in the first place. It was his fault she was so reckless and got bit in the first place. If he had just told her... then this would have never happened, and the download would still be processing.
Why was he so secretive about it? Why couldn't he have just told her? She would have been so happy... they could have been so happy together. She would have continued to follow him through the games, under strict supervision, of course. There was no reason to stop, Mainframe was the only place Matrix would ever consider home, and she wasn't about to hold him back from being with his family, even if it was growing by the millisecond. If would have been fun, even. They had been playing games for so long that they were always finding ways to make it more interesting. Imagine a big old sphere blocking her from seeing her feet, that would be hilarious.
A heavy sigh escaped her, almost smiling at the thought. She was out of tears now, quite a feat for a water Sprite, and was tired. She was going to bed and sleeping until all the hurt stopped. Maybe she could pretend it never happened, it was all a delusion from her energy loss.
As she opened the door very slowly, she remembered that Matrix would probably be inside. Matrix, who was the cause of all this hurt. AndrAIa paused. Did she really want to go to bed with the man who had been hiding such a secret for so long? It was then that she considered his feelings, too. The realization suddenly dawned on her that he must have gone through the exact same feelings that she was now. Matrix put up a tough front, but she knew how gentle he was inside. He was still just a lost little boy...
She held her breath and waited to see if the bedsheets stirred. They didn't, of course not, Matrix slept like the rest of the world didn't even exist. But there was a large mound in the middle of the bed that was distinctly Matrix-shaped.
AndrAIa smiled, just a little. As upset as she'd been with him, maybe she could somehow find a way to forgive him. It was hard to stay made at the little boy she knew still lived within Matrix. This little boy, somehwere in the corner of Matrix's subconcious was crying because of this, and because he had no one's hand to hold.
She really did want to have a baby with Matrix, but she'd rather know from the start and enjoy the affection and intimacy it would allow them. And she'd much rather not have to deal with tip-toing around an active war zone instead of joining the fight, which Matrix would never allow if she were with child.
It hurt now, it really did. But now the hurt was more about the deceit than the loss itself.
AndrAIa walked into the room, to the side of the bed, and slowly sat down to remove her boots.
Matrix, on the edge of sleep and conciousness, felt her weight depress the other side of the bed. She was coming to bed with him! He was so concerned that she wouldn't come at all, that she'd stay out all night and not sleep. He had the urge to roll over and pull her body close to his, but he fought it. He mustn't move too quickly, let her move at a suitable pace.
He was in pain, yes. He wanted so much to hold AndrAIa close to his body and let it all out. He'd been suffering so much, ever since the creature made off with her code. He knew the very instance he saw her floating there that it was gone, that there was no hope for his child now.
But she was so mad at him, she didn't even know how much this was affecting HIM. Matrix had risked life and limb just to make sure that everything went according to plan. He'd spent long nights watching her sleep, resting his hand on her small tummy, and waiting for the first movements. Matrix would often close his eyes and imagine what it would look like... a little girl, maybe? With his complexion and AndrAIa's eyes? He was so ready to be a father... and yet he couldn't even protect AndrAIa. How in the Net did he expect to protect their little 0.0?
Matrix hadn't felt this kind of pain since Bob had been stolen away into the Web. But no, he must stay strong now. He must be sure that AndrAIa didn't know how many tears he'd held back, how many bitter sobs he'd kept inside. It was up to him to be strong for her, and he knew it was no longer his right to grieve; it was all AndrAIa's.
They both grew aware of the dead silence in the room. AndrAIa knew Matrix was awake, and Matrix knew that AndrAIa knew. One of them would have to speak eventually. AndrAIa turned. Matrix sat up.
"Ma-"
"And-"
Another silence, this one much warmer, drifted across the room as they looked at one another through the darkness. AndrAIa looked down, trying to hide the small smile that was spreading across her cheeks. Matrix didn't hide a thing.
Matrix finally took the initiative to break the ice. "Can you ever forgive me?" he asked pleadingly.
In one slow movement, AndrAIa reached across the bed and kissed Matrix on the forehead. "No..."
And they both knew that she didn't mean it.
A/N Well, that's the end of my very first fanfic (ever)! I'm open to all praise and criticism that you have to offer. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the ride!