Disclaimer: I own only this story

Note: I really felt bad so I decided to write something like this. I was kind of inspired by another Bleach fiction; by the author whose pen name I don't remember (I apologize). If you like/dislike this, please review! I will continue this only if I receive enough reviews (at least 6, for the start; I'm not asking much, aren't I?). That would really cheer me up!

Pairing: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya

Rating: M

Warning: Attempt at suicide

Unloved

Chapter 1: Not Needed Anymore

At first, he could hear voices. He could feel the multiple reiatsu gathering around him. He couldn't open his eyes, not yet; he wasn't ready to face with the world. But he exactly knew who the people around him were. Besides, he could recognize the voices of the ones who spoke.

The first one was a female voice, which belonged to Captain Unohana. Judging by her presence, he could conclude that he had been saved.

The second one was female as well. She was very concerned. She asked if he was alright. Rukia…

He could hear some other comments as well, such as:" What a jackass, taking a bath in such depth!", or, "We all knew that no one bathes in that river!", the statements which belonged to Ichigo and Ikkaku.

"Hey, maybe he wanted to try bungee jumping (without a rope, though)" Hanatarou tried to explain. Renji could practically feel the others turn and glare at the poor thing. Unohana cleared her throat.

"We should all leave him to rest. He'll be fine." She said and everybody followed her as she was exiting. But one reiatsu was still present.

If Hanatarou knew that he wasn't too far from truth. And that's why the redhead refused to open his eyes. He had acted like a coward, trying to commit suicide. Yes, suicide. Because of his lame love life. As if he was a chick. But he couldn't help it. It had reached the line where he could no longer fight. He had been too tired to do so.

"Open your eyes, Renji." a cold voice said. "I know you are awake." There was a trace of worry within those words. Renji obeyed. He slowly opened his eyes, but saw nothing. It was only darkness and terrible headache.

"Water…" he whispered; only then did he realize that his throat was dry and that his entire body was in terrible pain. He gritted his teeth, to prevent himself from screaming.

Soon, his mouth met with the edge of the glass, and he drank the contents of it. He felt slightly better.

"I can't see a single thing." he stated, with much clearer voice this time.

"You needn't worry. Captain Unohana said that it was normal and that you should regain your vision in no time." again that flat, cold voice.

Renji laid his head back on the pillow. He felt the weight on his bed. Byakuya was now sitting beside him.

"Why did you try to kill yourself, Renji?" he whispered, accusingly, his voice filled with disgust.

Renji closed his eyes again. "It's none of your business."

"Only now do I see that you are a coward, and not a fighter." Byakuya said.

"What a hypocrite!" Renji hissed. "All I was doing was to fight. My entire life." Even when he had given up, he was still a fighter. "I just found out that there's nothing I could fight for anymore. Therefore, I'm not needed in this world." He could feel Byakuya's frown.

"That is so pathetic!" the 6th squad Captain stated. "So pathetic of you, Abarai Renji. I should consider finding a new lieutenant. You are not suitable for that position anymore."

Renji hissed in anger, but couldn't do nor say a ting, since he was in a serious pain. He felt the weight abandon his bed, and Byakuya's reiatsu fading away. His captain had left his room.

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Two days ago

The bridge was high enough and the river beneath was fast enough to sweep away anybody who even place a toe inside, let alone jump from the bridge.

Renji was sitting on the ledge, with broken look in his eyes. That morning, he had realized some key facts about Byakuya, himself, and love in general. That morning, he had finally realized that Byakuya would always have heart only for Hisana, and that Renji would never replace her.

The discovery had defeated him immediately, the only battle he couldn't win. All these years, he had been sacrificing and fighting for Byakuya; had always been by his side, on the battlefield, in bed, wherever Byakuya wanted him to be. But seeing his beloved in deep thought way too often, with nostalgic face expression every time, and melancholy, was too much to bear. He had heard once that Byakuya had once been cold, stoic, but somehow more open, until Hisana's death. Not even he was capable of waking the fire in those eyes he adored. Nothing could summon life in Byakuya's soul. Only Hisana's altar, which was in a room specially made for that, could do such thing.

That was defeat, and Renji was aware that he could never surpass such barriers around his beloved's heart. He had been deceived by the gorgeous Captain.

The 6th squad lieutenant, Abarai Renji, untied his long, red hair, which was now dancing gracefully while the wind was playing farewell music in his ears. Both Soul Society and Earth were in peace now, no Hollows or anything similar was in their way of happiness. Ichigo had become the 9th squad Captain to everyone's amusement, and Rukia had been proposed by him.

'At last' Renji thought.

Yumichika had finally acknowledged his feelings towards Ikkaku; and Ikkaku reciprocated those feelings; but Yumichika was a two timer, cheating on poor Ikkaku with Hisagi Shuuhei. Still, all of them were happy; Ikkaku was living in blissful ignorance.

As soon as little Yachiru had grown up and became such a beauty, Zaraki had fallen in love with her, and she loved him back. She had always been the only one who could tame such insane and powerful Shinigami. It had been a lot awkward at first, since Zaraki had been taking care of her as if she was his own child; but things tended to change, everybody knew. But the crazy bastard respected her too much, and the only thing they had done so far was to hold hands (Zaraki had confessed to Ichigo, to Ichigo's utter discomfort). Yes, it was strange for somebody that huge and strong, so brutal and dangerous, to be so silly, especially when it came to love.

Renji smiled at this. And then, he carried on with his list. Love was blooming for almost everyone. That comforted him a little.

Urahara couldn't decide between Yoruichi and Nova, so he decided to stay away from both of them, claiming they were messing with his head; Sado and Inoue were in a happy triangle with Ishida (which Renji found utterly disgusting); Hanatarou had been proposed by stupid moron Ganju. Luckily, the little guy had refused. He was happy to be single.

So, when he summarized, he decided that nobody needed him. Everything was in perfect order. He stood up and looked into the sunset; it was beautiful and reminded him of Byakuya's love-the dying one, perhaps the one that had never existed.

Closing his eyes, he let the gravitation force him down into the river, and soon after, his senses were shut down.

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TBC…?