A/N: I know it has been a terribly long wait for this chapter… SORRY hunnies! :D But I hope you enjoy it! Also, Don't forget to READ the final Author's Note at the end of the chapter! ;) Love you!
000
Chapter 46: Nuts Part 2
000
Yuki: You had us worried over strippers.
Kyo: (Whispering) Gay...
Haru: What was that Kyo-kun? ^_^
Kyo: Hmm? What? I didn't say anything.
Butler #1: Wait, so you're not Motoko?
Haru: About that...
Yuki: No, he is not.
Butler #2: Oh wow. So do any of you kids know where Motoko is?
(Kyo points to Yuki)
Kyo: Ask their god.
Yuki: Wha-?
Butler #2: You're their GOD?
Kagura: Oh my god.
Yuki: W-What? Of course not! Are you people idiots? No, I do not know where Motoko is. We are trying to find friends of our own. Have you seen anyone else besides Haru?
(The butlers shook their heads)
Yuki: (Sigh) Great.
Kyo: I say, we stay here and mooch off of all of this nice food.
Haru: I'll say! ^_^
Butler #1: Ummm...
Yuki: Waah- No! We can't do that!
Butler #2: Uh yeah, sure you can do that-
Kagura: Yes! Cold lemonade for me!
Kyo: And then, whoever is looking for us, will find us here!
Kagura: Yeah!
Haru: I totally agree! This is the best idea!
Butler #2: If you have a total of fifty thousand yen with you.
Kyo: Let's hit the road.
Kagura: I'll just grab some coconuts along the way...
Yuki: Mmm-hmm, you see?
Haru: This blows.
Butler #1: Oh, and Mister Haru, I hope that you haven't forgotten that you owe us money.
Haru: And if I do not pay it?
Butler#1: Then you and your little friends will be arrested before we return to Japan.
(Silence)
(Haru looked to Kyo. A silent agreement was made)
Haru: Get them.
(Both butlers were knocked unconscious)
Yuki: Oh god, this is going down as a felony!
Kyo: (Popping his knuckles) Hush up pansy! Now let's hit the road!
Kagura: What road?
Kyo: Shut up, you know what I mean.
000
Motoko- (Weakly) Girls?
#1 and #2- Y-Yes?
Motoko- Any luck on your side #1?
#1- Nothing...over...here...
Motoko- Number 2?
#2- Nope. Nothing...
Motoko- This is strange.
#2- We've been digging for hours Motoko-Senpai! I'm exhausted!
#1- Yeah, I don't want to dig anymore!
Motoko- Oh, NONSENSE! There are no quitters in the Prince Yuki Fan Club! Suck it up and continue to search girls!
#2- (Sigh)
#1- No...
Motoko- (Shuffling around in the sand) Come on now, it MUST be around here somewhere. I mean, this isn't Survivor! The map shouldn't be that hard to find!
000
Akito- No, I never said that!
Shigure- You totally did.
Akito- DID NOT!
Shigure- Did too!
Akito- No I did not! NOT NOT NOT!
Shigure- Yes you did! DID DID DID!
Bobby- Would you two stop fighting for five seconds?
Shigure- Akito started it.
Akito- I- WAH?! Did not!
Shigure- DID TOOO!
Bobby- (Sigh) You two are like an old married couple.
Shigure- Cute! ^_^
Akito- GROSS!
Bobby- I hate this island.
Akito- So do I! Humph.
(Akito looks into the distance and sees a person approaching)
Akito- Hey, Shigure.
Shigure- Yes, Jolly Rancher? ^_^
Akito- Look, isn't that a person over there?
Shigure- (Searching) Where?
(Akito starts to point in the direction of the person when he realizes that it is Tohru Honda, running towards them)
Akito- Ump! Never mind, it's no one. ^_^ (Pushing Shigure) let's go this way.
Shigure- Hey! Wait, I thought you said-
Akito- I was just a rock. Common mistake. ^_^ Let's go. Fast.
Bobby- Hey isn't that Tohru?
(Bobby waves)
Akito- ...
Tohru- (Distant) AKITO-SAN! OVER HERE! ^_^ I see you Akito-san!
Shigure- ...
Akito- ...
Shigure- A rock? Really?
Akito- (Sigh)
000
Kagura- Ooh, Kyo! I spy something green!
Kyo- Good for you.
Haru- I found something green back in the bushes.
Kagura- You're supposed to guess what it is I spy with my little eye, Kyo! ^_^
Kyo- No thanks.
Yuki- (Thinking) And we passed this tree twice, so...
Haru- I think this might be important or useful. It's a weird little gadget.
Kagura- I said, I spy...
Kyo- Kagura, I don't want to play your stupid game.
Haru- You know, this green thing I have looks like it could help. I found it awhile back.
Kagura- (Roaring) IT IS NOT A STUPID GAME!
Yuki- (Irritated) Just play it with her, JEEZ. Do something constructive will you? (Thinking to himself once again) Maybe if we take this path-
Kyo- Fine! The palm trees.
Haru- I found this thing in the bushes...
Kagura- How did you know? ^_^
Kyo- (Sigh) Beginners luck.
Haru- Hey guys?
Kagura- Okay, okay. I spy...something BLUE.
(Kyo looked at Yuki pleadingly. He only chuckled and continued to focus on which direction they were headed)
Kyo- The Ocean.
Kagura- OMG you're like amazing at this game!
Kyo- Uh-huh.
Haru- ...
Kagura- Alright. How about something-
Kyo- The sand.
Kagura- WTF how did you do that?! I didn't even tell you the color yet!
Kyo- Because those are the only three things on or around this island. Trees, ground, and water.
Kagura- ...
Kyo- (Sigh)
Haru- Fuck you people.
Kyo- Hey!
Yuki- Woah, woah, woah, where did that come from, Haru?!
Kagura- MEANIE!
Haru- Oh, I don't know, you ASSHOLES! I've only been trying to get your attention for like- EVER.
Yuki- Well, what do you need?
(Haru holds up the small, circular, green colored gadget)
Haru- I found this-
Yuki- HARU! Is that a COMPASS?!
Haru- I said I thought it might be-
(Yuki snatched the compass away from Haru)
Yuki- Why didn't you TELL me you had this?! We've been walking around in circles for the last ten minutes! JEEZ!
Haru- ...
Kyo- Haha, Haru's an idiot. ^_^
Kagura- That's not nice, Kyo-kun... (Snicker) (Snicker)
Haru- (Seething) One day...
000
(Ren was slowly waking up)
Hatori- Shit.
(While contemplating whether or not to bash her over the head once again, Hatori noticed a small buzzing sound coming from somewhere around him)
(He looked to the side)
Hatori- It sounds like a smothered bee.
(He looked upwards, finding nothing)
Hatori- Perhaps, I am just hearing things.
000
Tohru- I am so excited that we found you!
Akito- ...
Shigure- So, is there anyone else here with you?
Tohru- Oh, yes! Isuzu-san found me, and then together we came across Ayame and Mine-san! ^_^
Akito- Oh god.
Shigure- (GASP) MY AYAA?
Bobby- This is great!
Tohru- Now we can all stick together as a team to find everyone else!
Bobby- Yeah, let's stay together. (Turns) Where are you going, Akito?
Akito- Huh, what?
(Suddenly, Ayame and Mine burst out from the shadows, wearing nothing but coconut bras and grass skirts)
Ayame- Gure-san, my LOVE! You're alive!
(Ayame and Mine danced forward, and Akito studied the lack of clothing on the two of them with utter disgust and disdain)
Akito- What the fu-
Bobby- Ooh, coconuts!
Shigure- (SQUEAL) YOU look UH-mazing, Ayaa! ^_^
(Ayame and Shigure embraced for far too long)
Ayame- Now that you're here...
Shigure-...we can finally be alone...
Ayame- ...together!
Akito- EW! Gross, quit that!
Bobby- (Pointing to Ayame's coconut bra) Do you think that you could make me one of those?
Ayame- Certainly! ^_^ Mine and I have worked long and hard to create bras and skirts for the whole zodiac, including our wonderful Aki-
Akito- Fuck you. ^_^
Shigure- (Already in a Coconut bra and skirt) Don't you speak to him that way!
Akito- What the-
Bobby- Me too! Me too! I want it!
Shigure- That's what she said.
Ayame- Ahahhahaa! ^_^
Bobby- What?
Akito- Sigh.
Tohru- But Akito-san, we can wear the beautiful skirts together and-
Akito- I will warn you only once, Tohru Honda.
Tohru- (Gulp)
(Isuzu walked out next, standing next to Mine)
Rin- What the heck is all this ruckus?
(Rin spots Akito)
Rin- Aw, damn.
Akito- Hmm? What was that, Isuzu? Unhappy to see me alive, are you?
Rin- It's like he can read minds.
Akito- (Gasp) Well!
Bobby- I love these bras!
Shigure- (Cough) Gay (Cough)
Ayame- Did someone say, GAY?! ^_^ I am definitely happy!
Shigure- (Snort)
Akito- (Sigh)
Tohru- Well, I guess we should get some rest.
Shigure- Or we could all dress up in our coconut bras and skirts and go searching for the others!
Akito- I'd rather jump into the ocean with cement blocks strapped to my legs and arms.
Shigure- Well, that's just harsh.
000
-YankeeThug logs on-
-BlackFlower logs on-
YankeeThug- You are not going to believe this!
BlackFlower- Try me.
YankeeThug- I opened an e-mail this morning that said it was from school. Turns out it was a VIRUS. I mean, who would want to send me a virus right?
BlackFlower- If I wasn't your friend I would have done more to your computer than just send it a virus.
YankeeThug- Okay, point taken. But guess who the virus was from.
BlackFlower- The Chinese restaurant that you toilet papered four years ago because they messed up your order of egg drop soup.
YankeeThug- No.
BlackFlower- The two freshman from a year ago that swore on their mother's graves that they would make you pay for permanently super gluing their lockers shut with their things still inside them.
YankeeThug- Aww, I remember them. Good times, good times, but still: No.
BlackFlower- The family that owned the cat names Puffballs who-
YankeeThug- Okay, okay that's enough guessing.
BlackFlower- Well then, who?
YankeeThug- The Prince Yuki Fan Club.
BlackFlower- That is indeed comical.
YankeeThug- You're telling me. Now every time I log into my laptop I get to see dancing Yuki's floating across my screen. All of my icons are now little symbols of his face and my screensaver is in an unchanging slide show of various, creepy pictures that they must have taken of him. It's every fan girls dream.
BlackFlower- You said it was a virus. What has it destroyed?
YankeeThug- My sanity.
BlackFlower- Yes, I understand. But I meant what files have it destroyed on your computer?
YankeeThug- Anything that had Tohru's name in the title.
BlackFlower- Ha. Of course.
YankeeThug- I also think it's a tracking device.
BlackFlower- Why do you say that?
YankeeThug- I've gotten four death threats and three suspicious visits to my front porch. Each time it was someone yelling and screaming about how I am not worthy to know the Great Yuki Sohma. SO, I'm pretty sure the fan girls are tracking my house.
BlackFlower- They wouldn't touch her.
YankeeThug- Yeah? Why is that?
BlackFlower- Because I've sent a virus of my own. ^_^
YankeeThug- Oh?
BlackFlower- Hahaha... It will be marvelous!
YankeeThug- ...OMG, I think a group of them are at my house!
BlackFlower- Who?
YankeeThug- The crazy bitches!
BlackFlower- Hmm. Well what do you want to do?
YankeeThug- Well, since you asked-
BlackFlower- Oh goodness...
YankeeThug- I was thinking I could set a trap! You know like those trap door things in the movies where the people come onto the porch and fall into this deep, dark pit of doom? Like that, except better!
BlackFlower- Perhaps this is just my curiosity, but what would you do with the Fangirls once you got a hold of them?
YankeeThug- Torture. ^_^
BlackFlower- Mmhm, saw that one coming. But how do you plan on making this so called pit of doom?
YankeeThug-...I haven't really thought that one through yet...
BlackFlower- I see. So-
YankeeThug- Blahahahahhaa! Bow down to the Yuki Fan Club!
BlackFlower- Arisa?
YankeeThug- FOOL! The Yuki Fan Club has now hacked into the system!
BlackFlower- Oh I see, the virus has allowed you idiots to hack into Arisa-san's computer.
YankeeThug- PRECISLEY! And now YOU, creepy, retarded, voodoo witch girl, will give us the EXACT COORDINATES to the location of the other witch's home, TOHRU HONDA!
BlackFlower- ...
YankeeThug- We must find out where she lives so that we can stalk her, ruin her, and scare her until she returns Prince Yuki into the caring, gentle hands of the Prince Yuki Fan Club! You will not be released until we obtain the needed information!
-BlackFlower logs off-
YankeeThug- Nuts!
-YankeeThug logs off-
000
BACK ON THE ISLAND
Akito- I'm tired! Let's stop walking!
Rin- Oh shut up already!
Akito- (GASP) Excuse me!
Shigure- Now, now Akito. Why don't we play a game to pass the time?
Akito- NO.
Shigure- But-
Ayame- OOH, what kind of game Gure-san?! ^_^
Shigure- Well, it's called Dirty Minds. ^_^
Rin- Jesus...
Ayame- Hahaha, fantastic! Explain the rules immediately!
Shigure- There isn't that many rules. I give you dirty clues to a normal thing and you have to try and guess what it is without guessing anything dirty.
Mine- This sounds interesting.
Tohru- Um, I'm not so sure about that...
Akito- No way, Shigure. Just keep those things to yourself.
Bobby- Yeah!
Akito- Shut up, Bobby.
Bobby- ...
Shigure- Alright! So who wants to play?
Ayame- Ooh, ooh Gure-san! Pick me! I want to play! ^_^
Mine- Well, sign me up too!
Rin- What the hell? I'll play.
Shigure- Tohru?
Tohru- Um... sure.
Akito- No way. Bobby and I will not participate in such foolishness.
Shigure- Fine. Let's begin!
Ayame- Oh my, I'm so excited! ^_^
Shigure- Alright, Aaya-san. The first puzzle is for you. What fits neatly between your breasts, works best when tugged, and inserts neatly into a whole?
Akito- AAAH! That is so disgusting!
Shigure- No it's not, shut up! You aren't even playing.
Bobby- That does sound really dirty though.
Ayame- Um... I must say, Gure-san, I am bewildered.
Tohru- A seat belt?
(Silence)
Shigure- Correct! The answer is: A seat belt! See Tohru, you can play this game well. ^_^
Bobby- Wow.
Akito- She cheated!
Rin- I am in shock right now. That was nothing like what I was about to say.
Akito- This game is stupid.
Shigure- Oh really? Then what do you think the answer should have been, Akito?
(All eyes turn to stare at Akito)
Akito- Well, I- What I thought-
Shigure- That's right, shut up! ^_^
Akito- Grrr...
Shigure- On to the next player! This one is for Mine: If you really want me, you're going to have to expose yourself. If you get naked, I'll be all over you, but you should use protection or else you could get a nasty disease. What am I?
Akito- Shouldn't the question be: Who am I? I do believe that you just described yourself, Shigure.
Bobby- Blahaha!
(Akito and Bobby High-Five each other)
Shigure- HEY!
Mine- Hmm... I really can't think of anything in response to that.
Ayame- Oh, POO. Mine don't give up so easily. Let's see. Is the answer: A prostitute?
Shigure- No. Aaya, it's supposed to be a normal answer.
Akito- You're just a sicko with no life! ^_^
Shigure- You're just keeping the biggest secret in the world. ^_^
Rin- What secret?
Akito- Hahaha, truce? ^_^
Shigure- Perhaps...
Ayame- Well, then let me rephrase the answer. Would an "Escort", be more appropriate?
Shigure- Aaya, that's not what the description is referring to.
Ayame- Well by golly what else could it be?
Bobby- A disease, huh? Could this include Chlamydia?
Shigure- NO!
Rin- Sigh.
Tohru- Oh, I think I know the answer!
Akito- You do not!
Shigure- Go on Tohru! ^_^
Tohru- A suntan! ^_^
(Silence)
Shigure- Correct!
Ayame- Impossible! How can this be?
Bobby- Dang. She's good.
Akito- Okay okay, she's definitely getting the answers from somewhere!
Rin- Well how about that.
Shigure- Moving on to the next question!
Akito- There's more? You've gotta be kidding me...
Shigure- All day long, it's in and out. I discharge my loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
Akito- Nothing but disgusting thoughts come to my mind when you said that!
Bobby- Haha, the answer to that question would be: Me. ;)
Shigure- Gross.
Mine- I am at a loss for this source of entertainment.
Ayame- Ooh, ooh okay, everyone listen up now. The answer to this question is: A BI-SEXUAL prostitute. I win. ^_^
Shigure- Aaya... no.
Ayame- What!?
Akito- This is a horrible game! It is impossible to win and a complete waste of MY TIME!
Rin- I didn't know that you were the only thing on this planet affected by the concept of TIME Akito. Thanks for clearing that one up for us.
Akito- YOU INSOLENT BRAT!
Ayame- But, Gure-San! How can this be? What is the answer?
Shigure- You have to guess!
Bobby- You know guys, now that I think about it, sexually transmitted diseases aren't something to joke about. People should take precautions when partaking in intercourse.
Akito- BOBBY. Now is not the time for one of your educational rants!
Rin- Why did I have to be stuck with this group?
Tohru- (Thinking silently to herself, oblivious to the outside conversation)
Mine- (Directed to Bobby) I completely agree! Just the other evening, Ayame-san and I were having this exact conversation!
Ayame- Ahh, yes. I remember!
Akito- OH GOD EWWW.
Shigure- Let's talk about sex BABY! Let's talk about-
Akito- Shut the FUCK up. No music allowed. EVER.
Shigure- You and me...
Bobby- Condoms are good. You know, as an aide to prevention.
Ayame- Hmm.. I think it depends on the brand.. Tell me Rin, what brand of condoms do you and Haru tend to purchase? ^_^
Rin- (Bristling)
Ayame- Care to answer the question, dear?
Rin- Why is life so cruel?
Tohru- I have the answer! ^_^
Rin- Oh good! I was beginning to contemplate suicide. ^_^
Ayame- TOHRU! I didn't peg my little angel from above to have insight on condom brands!
Akito- Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Ayame- This question might seem a bit awkward, but, How do you and Lucky Kyo come about it?
Tohru- I have the answer...To the game...
Ayame- OHHHH. Oh my.
Rin- Ah. Makes more sense.
Shigure- Well, Tohru, tell us what the answer is! ^_^
Tohru- An elevator. ^_^
Shigure- Correct!
Akito- You can't be serious...
000
Ren- (Waking Up) Hmm…
(Ren looks up to see that she is back in Hatori's arms)
Ren- Hahaha, hey there Hatori, baby.
(She tries to move but realizes that she cannot)
Ren- What the-
Hatori- Yes, hello. This time I thought ahead when it comes to you.
(Ren frowned. She noticed that she had been bound by some itchy twine)
Ren- Why would you tie me up?
Hatori- Ren, I tied you up so that you will not attempt to rape me. Also, I do not want to have to bash you across the head again to stop you.
Ren- (Smirking) Well…
Hatori- Well, what?
(Ren winked)
Ren- I love bondage.
000
(Motoko had taken the liberty to order the girls into the water to search while she rested along the beautiful coastline)
#1- Motoko-Senpai! We are tired...
Motoko- (Glaring) Keep searching!
#1- But.. but.. I can't find Number 2!
#2- (Glug-Glug)
Motoko- What is wrong over there? Is she DROWNING?
#1- Oh no! I can't reach her! HELP!
(Despite her better judgment, Motoko raced into the water to save her useless little follower)
Motoko- (Grabbing #2 from underneath the water) Are you okay, you imbecile?
#2- (Gasping) I... am now... Thanks, boss! ^_^
Motoko- (Growling) I guess it's time for a break. Number one, pull us to shore!
(The waves suddenly kicked into high gear and swept Motoko away from #2. Motoko screamed in indignation as her girls were taken to shore and she was caught up in a whirlpool that began to drag her further and further away from the sand)
Motoko- AGH! Save me you idiots! I cannot swim very well!
(The girls became smaller as she was taken out further. They began to run along the bank of the ocean trying to catch up to her ever moving body)
Motoko- I am going to die!
(She thrashed and turned, seeing the water break surface right in front of her. What emerged was amazing. Beautiful. What emerged, was a god.)
(It was Yuki Sohma)
(He burst from the waves with a grace that only one with an angelic ability could accomplish. Water glistened down his perfect body, his pale skin sparkling with the tiny droplets that clung to it. He swung his hair, his eyes half-lidded as he did so, giving him the appearance of a movie star. Which he was)
(He was everything)
Yuki- Need a hand?
Motoko- P-Prince...
(Motoko's world went black)
000
(The two fan girls were tending to the unconscious Motoko when Yuki found that the other three people in his group stood by the edge of the ocean, staring intently down into the water. Since they had been the first to spot the screaming Fan Club, he jogged over, hoping they might have spotted someone important. Like Tohru)
Kyo- (Staring) What is it?
Kagura- Ooh! So pretty!
(Yuki jumped between the two of them, spotting their new source of curiosity)
Yuki- Don't touch it!
Haru- Why not?
(The group was silent as they stared at the unmoving blob that rested on the sand near the edge of a the water)
Yuki- It's a jellyfish.
Kyo- Mmm…fish…
Haru- …
Kagura- So…why can't we touch it again?
Yuki- Kagura, seriously? It will sting you. Jellyfish are poisonous.
Kagura- Ohhh…
(The group is silent once again. Haru looks around, picking a sea shell up from the ground)
Haru- (Using shell) Poke. Poke.
Yuki- HARU!
Haru- I'm not touching it. (Poke)
Kyo- Hahaha, it looks like jelly! ^_^
(Kyo mimicked Haru's actions, finding something to agitate the beached creature as well)
Kyo- (Poke) (Poke) Hahaha!
Kagura- Jelly Jellyfish!
Yuki- (Sigh) You are all idiots.
(Suddenly the jellyfish squirmed, its last movement of life used to shoot its dangerous tentacles out at its antagonists)
Kyo- (Lurching back) AAAAH!
Kagura- (Running away) Nnaah!
Haru- SHIT!
(A wave leapt forward, taking the jellyfish back into the ocean with one sweep)
Kyo- (Breathing hard) Hahahah! Yes!
Kagura- Is everyone alright?
Haru- Yep. ^_^
(Everyone looked to Yuki, who was clutching his foot)
Haru- On second thought…
Yuki- OWWWW! SON OF A-
Kyo- Oh crap…
000
A/N: HEEYYYYY YOU GUYS! Yeah, I know, it's been forever plus a few days since I have updated this thing. I truly do apologize for the wait, but honestly, there has been a lot of personal stuff going on in my life lately. It's hard to try and balance keeping this story up and also the struggles of the everyday life. So, I am sorry, but I know ya'll liked it, so HURRAY! ^_^ The Island Adventure is nearing its end, so more of the actual Chatroom experiences will be coming in the next few chapters. I thank you all for your support and dedication. Let's see... How about a challenge? 950 REVIEWS for the next update? Love ya'll!
Always,
Charlie-san