Truth or Snare?
chapter one: dare you to date

"Truth or Dare?" came the saccharine taunt, accompanied with Mars' trademark smirk. The focus of her attention, the usually composed Jupiter, looked as if she were about to commit suicide.

"You could at least give me some time to recover," she finally managed to mutter. "God. Playing this game with only the three of us around... it's pathetic. Besides, it hardly gives us time to prepare ourselves before the next challenge smacks us in the face again."

"Whatever. Rules are rules," Mars retorted with a wink. "And rules say it's your turn, Jupi. So just get it over with. Truth or Dare?"

"Ughh. Fine, whatever shuts you up," came the exasperated sigh. "Truth."

Mars' face scrunched up into a tight ball of indecision. Saturn rolled his eyes at her, splayed lazily on the only couch in the rec room. Cyrus was notoriously cheap with the furniture, so the three commanders usually had to fight for use of the precious thing. Today was the first time he had actually been able to call it for himself (although, he noticed with a grimace, it smelled like sweat, mold, and an excess of Mars' perfume).

Finally, an uncharacteristic shriek tore Saturn out of his couch-related thoughts. "I know! Okay, Jupiter, do you really have a thing for Saturn?"

Both commanders eyed her with horror, while the red-haired woman giggled to herself and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Speak the truth, or I'll tell Cyrus that you two spent three hours in the Nap Room together. I won't go into specifics, but I'm sure he'll catch on by the time I-"

"Okay, okay!" Came the instantaneous response. "Alright, so what if I do? It's not like I trail that one Twinleaf trainer with a stalker mentality!"

Forgetting his shock at Jupiter's (almost) confession, Saturn burst into laughter. Two pairs of eyes settled on him, but he kept going, rolling on the couch like a madman. Ignoring his hysterics, the purple-haired commander scowled and continued:

"And unlike you, I seem to have no trouble at all taking my eyes off the boss. It's like you ogle him every chance you get!"

"Well!" Mars retorted, eyes narrowing. Okay, so she did have peculiar obsessions, but she had trusted Jupiter not to bring them to light! "I've heard some pret-ty strange rumors about you and that one blondie that time you were assigned to Acuity. To be perfectly honest, it's hard not to believe-"

"You guys are total pedophiles!" Saturn shrieked, just as the door slammed open and revealed Cyrus, the strictest boss in the entirety of Sinnoh, standing in the doorway. Saturn, oblivious, continued snickering to himself while his coworkers stared on in shock.

"Well," came the man's quiet, deadly remark. That finally caught his giggling employee's attention, prompting him to clam up immediately. "The world is a curious place. Yesterday, I oversaw the capture of Sinnoh's lake guardians. Today, I've realized that two of my trusted commanders might be child predators."

Under ordinary circumstances, the statement would've been hilarious to the men and woman sprawled inside the rec room. However, this was coming from Cyrus! Cyrus, possibly the world's most mentally unstable man! Unsure how to respond, the room was stunned into complete silence.

Finally, Saturn, the kiss-up of the trio, immediately sat up straight, pulled at his collar, and stammered:

"I had no part in this, sir! It was those two! They were playing a game! Truth or Dare!" He whipped an index finger at the two women, who glared back at him with deadly expressions. "They started it all, sir. I don't know why, or how... I don't know-"

"Silence yourself," came the cold order. The commander cowered back onto his couch, ignoring the death threats Mars was silently mouthing at him. Rather than launch into a spiel of potential consequences, though, Cyrus regarded the trio for a moment before his mouth curled into a smile.

A smile.

A SMILE?!

The three commanders had learned to read Cyrus during their first months at Team Galactic, something most Grunts failed pathetically at. The few emotions their boss decided to show were usually quite straightforward- anger, frustration, impatience, insanity, etc. A frown usually meant 'shut up and do your work'. A scowl usually meant 'you miserable failure!'. A raise of an eyebrow usually meant 'your pathetic little excuse will not be enough to sway me' or something along the lines of that.

But in all their years serving under TG, the three had never once seen their boss smile. And although it was bad enough to elicit any emotion from the guy, they were sure that happiness was something they never should have brought on. I mean, the guy was borderline psychopathic! What could his twisted concept of happiness be?

"A game," the man mused aloud, breaking the horrified silence. "How interesting. Mind if I join?"

And so, because the three commanders were too stunned to speak (and because there were no words to describe the situation anyways), Cyrus was admitted into the game. Saturn had propelled himself off the couch and onto the floor, giving his boss a place to sit. Meanwhile, Jupiter and Mars were wondering if Cyrus had accidentally looked into Uxie's eyes and lost his memory. Either way, an awkward silence now hung in the air, and nobody seemed to know how to break it.

Finally, Jupiter summoned her courage up and muttered, "Alright, it's my turn." She glared at Saturn, who grinned sheepishly back. "You. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare?"

After Saturn had been forced to kiss his Toxicroak- an awkward situation, considering that the Pokemon was a male- the blue-haired commander, red-faced, turned to Cyrus. Jupiter and Mars eyed each other in exasperation, knowing that Saturn would probably try to give his boss the easiest challenge in the history of Truth-or-Dare. The guy was a total boss' pet, after all, and actually cared about TG! He was a suck-up! A total wannabe! If given the chance, he would probably marry Cyrus!

Instead, Saturn's eyes narrowed. Cyrus had totally forced everything on the commander ever since he had blown up Lake Valor. "Oversee the containment of the three lake guardians, Saturn." "Assist Charon with the database backup, Saturn." "Go stalk that one trainer from Twinleaf, Saturn." Needless to say, the guy was tragically overworked, and now was the perfect time to exact revenge. He knew that Mars and Jupiter were behind him on this- after all, considering their recent failures, they had every incentive to get back at Cyrus for making them suffer.

So Saturn straightened himself up and looked Cyrus straight in the eye, a gesture that would make even the hardiest of Galactic Grunts flinch. However, he had worked at TG far longer than any of his coworkers, and was no stranger to facing his boss head-on. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," came the confident, unwavering response. Mars and Jupiter raised their eyebrows at Saturn, who nodded back assuredly.

"Alright, then." He paused in mock contemplation, eyes fixed on his boss. "I dare you... to go on a date. With the Sinnoh League Champion."

There was a stunned silence after that, one in which his two comrades eyed him in horror (and pity, considering the fury that was probably going to be unleashed on the poor guy). Mars bit her lip, unsure whether or not Saturn was joking. Jupiter simply gaped. Meanwhile, Saturn and Cyrus engaged in a tense staring competition, one that was broken when the Galactic Boss raised an eyebrow and asked:

"What incentive could I possibly have for spending an evening with the League Champion?"

"Well, she's easy on the eyes!" Saturn contributed without missing a beat.

"You deserve to celebrate the captures of the lake trio," Mars offered reluctantly.

"It's a matter of honor, sir. Believe me, boss, if you follow through with this dare, we'd probably have new respect for you. Maybe even obey you without question... or something," Jupiter answered without thinking, suddenly aware that her comrades were now directing their death glares at her.

This last comment seemed to hit home, however. Cyrus straightened up, strangely enthused about the concept of newly willing and loyal commanders.

"If I follow through on this 'dare', you, Saturn, will be forced to stay at Veilstone while the rest of us take Mt. Coronet."

"That's something I can handle," the commander replied with some reluctance. The guy really had wanted to see Cyrus create a new world, but hey, he figured, you win some, you lose some. Besides, when would he ever get a chance to witness Cyrus on a date? With Cynthia, of all people? The woman would probably kill Cyrus if he stepped within an inch of her, and then Saturn would be in charge of Team Galactic. He smirked to himself as his evil plan unfurled, though he knew that it was hardly something that would come to fruition.

"And in addition, you must also assist Charon with his research for a month. No, rather- all three of you must. No matter how trivial or unorthodox his commands, you are all required to acquiesce to them. You will receive no pay- and no sympathy- for completing this servitude."

The three exchanged glances, and wordlessly concluded that the benefits far outweighed the costs. "Fine with us," Saturn replied. "How difficult can it be?"

"I intend for all of you to be up at dawn tomorrow. I will carry out the details of your request then," came the smooth reply. "As of now, however, this game is over."

xxx

Her eyes narrowed as they settled on the man before her. She hadn't expected anyone to arrive first thing in the morning- after all, challengers were only allowed to come in after ten, and fewer were arriving every day. It was eight-thirty now, and she had never expected this particular visitor. Had never wanted to see him again.

Still, the irony of the situation was humorously evident. Rather than waiting for her visitor to speak, she sighed, looked him over, and coldly inquired:

"Have you come for a battle, Cyrus? I don't suppose you could defeat me, but it'll be enjoyable watching you fall."

"I have no intention of challenging you," he replied just as coolly. Cold grey eyes met deadened black, and she scowled slightly, wondering exactly what the man had come for.

"Your lackeys are probably infiltrating the building, aren't they?" Came her voice, laced with warning. "A wasted effort. They'll find nothing here."

"An interesting guess, but an incorrect one. I've come here alone. There was the receptionist to handle, however... fortunately, she was easily disposed of."

Not the best thing to say, sir, Saturn hastily stammered into the earpiece. The advice proved true, as Cynthia started glaring at the man with an intensity frightening to behold. The League Champion's stare was strangely intimidating, though it really had no effect on Cyrus. The man was accustomed to such things, since he was, indisputably, the self-proclaimed master of evil glares.

Instead, he looked back at her with unwavering confidence. "I've come to ask a favor of you, Cynthia."

She raised an eyebrow. "At this point, Cyrus, I'll be doing you a favor if I don't turn you in."

Be subtle, sir, Mars cooed in his ear, amusement heavy in her voice. Unfortunately, genius as he was in other matters, Cyrus lacked social skills. More notably, he lacked conversational skills. Tactfulness. So subtlety had never really been his forte...

"My underlings have suggested that we partake in a romantic evening," he said without thinking. "Failure to comply with their idiotic demands will result in humiliation on my part. Suffice it to say, I have no choice but to answer to them, if at the cost of my dignity and your patience. I suggest you follow suit."

Miles away, three young commanders did simultaneous facepalms.

Meanwhile, Cynthia's anger was shifting to a cynical bemusement. "You're asking me out on a date. You? The head of a crime syndicate?"

"It would appear so," the aforementioned head-of-a-crime-syndicate responded nonchantly. "Yes. I believe 'date' is the proper terminology for such undertakings."

The League Champion mulled the idea over for an instant. Either Cyrus was drawing her into a trap, or his employees had blackmailed him. The first option was much more likely, since the man hated her with a passion. She didn't mind too much. The feeling was mutual.

However, if Cyrus actually meant his offer, it would make it so much easier for her to trap him. The endless fight against Team Galactic would end just like that, if it did come at the cost of her dignity. Ah, well. She would make him pay for dinner, anyways. And besides, she would drag some Elite Four guys around, in case it did turn out to be a scheme.

The thought made her smirk, to the evident annoyance of the criminal standing in front of her. "Tonight, then. Seven sharp, directly outside the League Building. I suggest you wear something that fits the occasion, unless you want the public to recognize you as a wanted man."

"I will be prompt," he confirmed. "And... subtle." He would need help with that, actually.

"Excellent," she muttered as he left the Champion Room. Oh Arceus what have I done what have I done her mind screamed, but she knew better than to display her panic. A date, though? With that guy? For some reason, Cyrus had some sort of negative energy that filtered all life away from the atmosphere. She swore that the room grew five degrees warmer when he stepped outside.

The man in question was now leaving the League Building, after returning his Crobat to its Poke Ball. The League receptionist was still white-faced and shaky, eyes wide with horror.

"It was going to suck my blood!" She stammered to nobody in particular, referring to the Pokemon that had been hovering over her neck for the last five minutes. "ItwasgoingtosuckmybloodohmyArceus.. oh Arceus..." The receptionist slumped over in a dead faint, and the man continued walking.

I'll be honest with you, Jupiter snarked, her voice marred with static. I didn't think you could pull it off. Not the Crobat thing, I definitely saw that coming. The date thing. You actually asked her out. Kudos to you, boss.

"It's merely a ploy," he hissed. "A scheme to turn me in to the authorities. If her plan is successful, our struggles will have been for nothing!"

Re-lax, Cyrus. You can't back out now. Besides, all three of us'll tag along in case it really is a trap. Mars drawled, much to the dismay of her fellow accomplices. Actually, I don't think she has anything planned. That Cynthia chick totally has the hots for you.

There was silence on the other side, and Mars frowned. "Huh. Must be bad reception."

"Or maybe he's devising a way to punish you for that," Saturn suggested, leaning against his chair. "Who are you kidding, anyways? Why would Cynthia- the hottest girl in the region, possibly the world- want our creepy, psychopathic boss in any way, shape, or form? Common sense, Marsy." He tapped his head with a finger, eliciting a raised eyebrow from "Marsy".

Finally, a reply came. "Commander Saturn," Cyrus intoned, voice low and dangerous. "I believe you've forgotten that I can hear everything you say."

Oh shi-

xxx

"You seem uncharacteristically quiet today," Lucian remarked. It was lunchtime at the League, and the five prestigious trainers were huddled around their usual table. The man's comment had been directed towards Cynthia, who had all but lost her appetite and was picking at her food.

"Hmm, well. Maybe I'm just tired," came the dull, apathetic response. At this, the heads of Aaron, Bertha, and Flint snapped up simultaneously. Though Cynthia was in no way the most energetic of the group, the woman was never this low in spirits. She was always the commanding, fearless, tireless one, laughing at a joke one second and shouting orders the next.

This particular instant, however, Cynthia was hunched over the table, eyes cast onto the cracked wood of the surface. Sensing that something was terribly wrong, the Psychic-type trainer extended his fingers towards her, clenched his eyes shut, and creased his forehead in thought.

"What's he doing?" Aaron whispered, as if he would break a sacred rite if he dared to speak normally.

"Lucian's trying to read her mind, dear," Bertha answered without looking at him, attention drawn back to finishing her lunch. "Though I doubt he has those abilities."

Too downcast to protest, the League Champion simply stared wearily at Lucian while he tried to sense the problem. "You're not going to have any luck with that," she remarked quietly. "I've already tried my hardest to forget the matter."

"You're right. I'm not able to sense anything." Lucian let his hand drop, his eyes opening and settling on her. "Can you tell us what's wrong?"

Cynthia looked up, and met four pairs of curious eyes. She sighed; it was better to let the problem out before it consumed her entire being.

"I have a date tonight. No, not a rowdy fan or anything," she quickly added, sensing the alarm on their faces. "The exact opposite."

"Well, that sounds lovely," Bertha remarked, while Flint shot her an enthusiastic grin and a thumbs-up.

"What does he look like, Champ? Probably not as handsome as me, but close, huh? Could be a guy just like you, the toughest in his region." He prodded her in the arm with his elbow, ignoring how she winced at the contact. "Two high-and-mighty League Champions, out on a fancy date. Sounds hot, sounds hot."

"No, Flint. Far from 'hot', actually," Cynthia sighed, pushing his elbow away. "The date's with the head of Team Galactic. Cyrus."

She attempted at a small smile, but it fell flat and turned into a grimace. She saw the same expression mirrored on Lucian's face, followed by mute amazement from Aaron, mute concern from Bertha, and very heavily voiced shock from Flint.

"WHAT THE BLAZES, Cynthia? You could do so much better than a guy like him! I mean, the dude's like, what? Eighty?" He shot a disappointed look at her, while Aaron tried to stifle a laugh. Whether Flint knew it or not, his fire-themed outbursts were pretty hilarious.

"I must admit that it was quite rash on your part," Lucian added, peering at her above the rims of his glasses. "The man's a criminal. To be utterly honest, I'm amazed you hadn't arrested him on the spot."

"Relax, it's nothing serious." I hope, she added silently. "He said it was just a setup by his employees. Idiot must have played Truth or Dare with the lot."

The members of the Elite Four exchanged furtive, amused glances. They were no strangers to the fun underlings could have with Truth or Dare, even if their target happened to be their boss and, on a slightly more intimidating note, the strongest trainer in the region.

Aaron was the first to speak up again. "Well, then, don't go on the date. Let him get humiliated by his employees. It's the least that guy deserves, right?"

"I wouldn't object to that, honestly. The thing is, if I do go along with him, it gives me the perfect opportunity to trap him and turn him in."

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" Bertha inquired, raising her mug of coffee. "You certainly had him alone then."

"I know. But somehow, I don't think I have the heart to arrest him myself. It's better to let the authorities handle it. Besides, he's not truly evil, really... maybe just disillusioned. Misunderstood."

"Right. And I'm ugly," Flint snorted. "You know what, if you're really going to do this, we might as well go with you. Hide discreetly and observe. No matter the circumstances, that guy's dangerous. We can't put anything past him."

"I'm with you!" Aaron shouted. Lucian followed suit, and cast his gaze on Bertha, who was busy sipping at her coffee.

"You youngsters run along and have some fun," she laughed. "It'll be wonderful to have this building to myself."

The three boys nodded, and turned to Cynthia. "Okay, plan of action," Flint said. "I'll have Officer Jenny and her people wait outside wherever you're going out for... dinner, probably?" She confirmed it with a slight nod. "One of us can wait with them. The other two can secretly sneak inside the restaurant and watch out for Cynthia. If something goes wrong, all we have to do is alert the guys waiting outside. Then bam!" He slapped his hands together. "Cyrus's plan goes up in FLAMES!"

"Seriously, man, you've gotta stop doing that," Aaron managed through giggles. Cynthia attempted at a slight smile.

"It's the bare minimum, but it'll have to do. I appreciate your insight and support, everyone, though you did manage to portray me as a helpless damsel in distress. Not a very good reflection on you four."

"I liked her better when she was tired," Flint mumbled to Aaron, which sent the adolescent boy laughing again. Aaron was, after all, notoriously easy to amuse.

"Wait, though," Lucian spoke through the noise. "What if nothing goes wrong? What if the man's conduct is impeccable, and he's truly changed for the better?"

"Well, then..." Flint exhaled sharply, glancing sideways at Cynthia. "I guess we just run right in and arrest him. No need to wait for something to go wrong. After all, one night of great behavior doesn't excuse a lifetime of FIERY EVIL."

"I suppose," the League Champion sighed, tapping her fingers on the table. "You should all prepare; the date's at seven. For now, however, you'd better get to work. Every one of you, or you're all fired."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The table was cleared in a matter of seconds, leaving an exasperated young woman to her own thoughts.

Author's Note: Oh, I hate writing comedies so much, particularly because I'm not a very funny person by nature. Did anything in this make you cringe, cry, or claw your eyes out? I apologize, because my pitiful attempts at humor usually elicit those reactions. I should probably put some sort of warning at the top of this fic, huh?

In any case, this is to atone for the angst-ridden themes of all my prior stories. If you've been bored and gone through every single one, you'll find that each one has some sort of dark undertone somewhere in it. Especially "A Torn Perfection", in which I do Mizuhikishipping no justice whatsoever.

Oh, and I should warn you- since my muse is all but exhausted right about now, my writing style is going to be much more relaxed than in my other stories. Not only is this something new for me, it's also an outlet for my warped creativity. So if Cyrus and Cynthia- or any other character, for that matter- is acting tragically out of character, feel free to call me out for it. Chances are, I'll feel just as bad about it as you do, if not worse.

Thanks!

EDIT: Fixed a lame screw-up on Jupiter's name. Thanks, R0-S3! Haha, see, these are the repercussions of writing a story at 11:00 PM. xD