Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I'm just playing with them for awhile. I also do not own any of the quotes I use in each chapter. They were all found on the internet, and if they have an author I say who it is.

Author's Notes: My first one-shot in the "After The Winter War" series, this one focusing on Kira Izuru and Hinamori Momo. Chronologically this goes between chapters 5 and 6 of "No Warm Memories," but it's not necessary to have read that to understand this and vice versa. I know they're not hugely popular as a couple, but I just think they'd be so cute together. And I was in angst mode. Might turn into a two-shot if enough people want it to be.

In Times That She Cried

By Lady Callista

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"I think horrible is still coming. Right now it's worse. Right now I'm just trying to keep from dying. I can't breath, Will. It feels like I can't breath."

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer on getting dumped by her soulmate in "The Prom"

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Hinamori Momo sat in a chair in her room at the Yonbantai's barracks, staring out the window. She hadn't left the room for three weeks.

Part of her couldn't believe it had already been three weeks since the war ended. Since she saw Aizen-taicho killed. She couldn't believe it because it seemed like the pain should have healed, at least a little, in three weeks.

The other part of her was amazed that only three weeks had passed. It felt like it had been an eternity. An eternity of sitting, or laying down, or staring out the window while people came and went, trying to talk to her. Trying to help her. But no one could help her.

Because no one could understand.

Everyone had been betrayed by Aizen, but no one else had loved him. No one else had been told that they were just part of a plan. No one else had found out the man they'd thought liked and respected them was only using them. She'd become a Shinigami for him, worked her butt off to become his fukutaicho, and he had never cared about her in the slightest.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she reached up to wipe it away just as she heard the door behind her open. She continued to stare out the window, not even caring who it was.

It was most likely Shiro-chan, who stopped by every few days to talk to her. At least his visits were slightly less annoying than anyone else's, for he didn't really try to talk her out of her mood, or talk about how she should forget Aizen, or anything like that. He just talked to her as he always had, about what was going on in Seireitei, or in his life, or how him and some of the others were working to keep the Gobantai together until she returned to it.

It was slightly awkward sometimes, as he wasn't exactly a man of many words. Their conversations used to be filled mostly with her chatter and his short and to the point responses, and part of her was grateful he was making this effort for her. The other part of her just wished he'd go away and leave her in her misery. She hadn't spoken a word to anyone since the battle ended, and she had no desire to do so. Although his visit a week ago, when he'd spoken of a human girl he'd fallen in love with, had almost made her speak. Almost made her tell him of the joy one felt when one was in love. Then she'd remembered that love lied. Love was false. Who needed love?

"She hasn't spoken since the war ended. She won't meet your eyes, or acknowledge that you're there. We assume she can hear us, but we can't even be sure of that. She may have retreated far enough into her mind that she's not coming back."

Kira Izuru entered the room quietly, Unohana-taicho's words still echoing in his mind.

In the three weeks since the war ended, he'd yet to come see Momo. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid to. He'd visited her just once in the time after Aizen betrayed them and before the war, and the sight of her lying in bed and staring glassily into space had nearly broken his heart. The courageous girl he'd grown to like, then to love, back when they'd been in the Academy together was nowhere to be found. The girl who seemed shy until she got to know you, then turned into a babbling whirlwind, seemed to be gone forever.

"Hi, Hinamori." Izuru said quietly as he sat on her bed, a few feet away from where she sat staring out the window. "I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit you yet, but it's been a busy few weeks. Uh, Hitsugaya-taicho, Renji, and I are working on keeping the Gobantai together, but I'm sure one of them has already told you that. The Division's doing pretty well, although they miss you."

Izuru studied her face as he sat there, understanding what Unohana had meant when she said Momo wouldn't even acknowledge that he was there. There was no movement of her eyes, no twitch of even a single facial muscle, nothing to indicate that she was even in there.

"Um, they still haven't chosen new taicho for any of the divisions, and I imagine they won't for a while. There's not really anyone who's qualified. Well, okay, there is, but it doesn't seem like Urahara and Yoruichi have any plans of returning. They could, now that it's known nothing that happened a hundred years ago was their fault, but I kinda think they like living in the real world. At least they don't have to deal with all the politics and paperwork."

Izuru fought the urge to wave a hand in front of her face to see if there was any reaction as he tried to think of what else to say.

He'd come here intending to confess his feelings to her, but was having trouble finding the words.

He'd been drinking with a few members of the Friday Night Drinking Group a few weeks ago, and Rangiku had gotten into this sentimental spiel on love. He'd been as drunk as the rest of them, and had told them that he'd been in love with someone for a while, but that she loved someone else. He'd said he'd rather be friends with her than risk losing her friendship if he told her and it was awkward.

Rangiku had commented on how lots of the Shinigami seemed apathetic when it came to love, probably because they figured they had very long lives ahead of them and there was no rush.

Those words had been running around in his head for the past two weeks.

Momo had almost died for real in the war, and seeing her now it was like she had died.

Now he wasn't so sure if not risking losing her friendship was a good enough reason to not tell her of his love. Because he knew if she had actually died he would have regretted not telling her for the rest of his life.

"I know I can't understand how you feel, Momo, none of us can. But I think I understand a little better than anyone else. My taicho betrayed me as well, although not in the same way yours did. I can't claim I ever loved Ichimaru, half the time I wasn't even sure I liked him. But I respected him as a taicho. I thought he was such a good man at first…" Izuru trailed off for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "I remember when I became his fukutaicho, and when you became Aizen's. We thought we had it made. Two of the first seated Shinigami we'd ever met, people we already respected and wanted to be like."

Izuru stopped briefly as he felt tears begin to fill his eyes. "When you raised your zanpakuto against Ichimaru, I lied to you for the first time. I told you that I stepped between you because I was his fukutaicho, and I would always stand against anyone threatening him. The real reason I did it was because I knew he would kill you. And I couldn't let that happen. It's another reason I can understand how you feel, Momo. Because the way you felt about Aizen, I've felt that way about someone. I've loved someone who didn't feel the same way about me."

Izuru had been staring at the wall as he spoke, and now he glanced over at Momo, surprised to find a few tears sliding down her cheeks. Well, that answered the question of whether or not she could hear people. It made what he was about to say next harder, but he figured he'd come this far, he might as well say it all.

"I know how long you've loved Aizen. And I know that kind of feeling doesn't just go away. I don't know if there's room in your heart for anyone else, Momo. I don't know if there ever will be." He rose and crossed the small room to stand beside her chair. "But I just wanted you to know that there is someone who loves you."

He leaned down to kiss her gently on the forehead, then straightened up and turned to leave. When he felt a small hand grip the sleeve of his uniform his eyes snapped down to her in shock.

Her tears had begun to flow faster, and he saw her lower lip trembling. The next thing he knew she slid sideways, her face turning into his stomach as she started to sob.

Izuru brought his arms up around her slowly, kneeling down beside her until her head was tucked against his chest and she was fully in his embrace. Her arms were around his back, and she was sobbing brokenly and hanging on for dear life.

It might not have been a declaration of love, but it was a beginning.

Unohana-taicho opened the door quietly, about to tell Kira that he really should be leaving, and smiled gently as she saw Hinamori crying in his arms.

Good, she thought as she closed the door soundlessly behind her and stepped back into the hallway, now the girl could finally begin to heal.

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"How can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned? Or in times that he cried?

In bridges he burned? Or the way that she died?

...Measure in love."

-from "Seasons of Love," in "RENT"

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Glossary:

Yonbantai: 4th Division, the Healers.

Gobantai: 5th Division, the one Hinamori is fukutaicho of.

Fukutaicho: Vice Captain, Assistant Captain, Lieutenant,

Taicho: Captain