Ravens

Summery: What happens when An imprint goes unrequited?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my car.

Warning: much angst and pain possible slash and other cookie goodness.

If I die before I wake,

How many ravens will my soul make…

Jake pov:

There were three things I knew for a fact. First: Wolves mate for life, Second: Rejection hurts like hell, Third: I Was utterly in love with Edward Cullen. I closed my eyes trying to fight back then tears that came whenever I remembered that night.

I had intended to tell Edward that I would fight for Bella's heart. Instead My eyes met his for the first time and in that instant I knew he had my heart. I had wanted so badly to imprint on some one, anyone. I had not taken into consideration that it would be coyote's sick humor that answered my prayers. The trickster god had lead me to Edward Cullen of all creatures. Before I could redirect or veil my thoughts he Heard me thing how magnificent he was.

He snarled at me dropping his voice so Bella would not hear, " I am not gay you filthy mutt. Your little fantasy will never come true so just keep dreaming." He would have hurt me less if he had torn me limb from limb then and there. My whole spirit recoiled at the sharp words and I felt a little piece of myself die. He raised his voice then into Bella's range "You take care of my girl, Mutt." It felt like lemon juice being rubbed into a fresh wound.

I hid all this from Bella pushing it to the back of my mind to be dealt with later. I even kissed her in a vain attempt to erase the pain gnawing at my heart. She hit me then and reminded me she was with Edward. I drove her home she had broken her hand on my jaw. She called Edward as soon as she got there. I played it off to Charlie that I was trying to win her over. I even stayed when I heard him say he was coming to get her. He told me so that she could heart him that he would Brake my jaw himself if I ever tried that Again without her permission. Then under his breath he added " You stay the hell away from us you filthy queer."

I pretended to laugh it off but inside I knew that he had just made himself off limits. It was perfectly clear he was in love with Bella and that she was what he wanted. I would have given him the moon if he had asked so in my pain I gave him her.

That had been a week ago. Now I was headed to a meeting with the rest of the pack under Sam's orders to Discuss the latest threat to Bella's life with the Cullen clan. The whole pack knew my secret but it was not as though I could hide it. Besides my precious mate Edward would not pass up the opportunity to see me dead if at all possible. "Not yours," he snarled at me. The other vampires would think he was telling me Bella was not mine. In that moment the empathic winced slightly. He felt my Pain lance through him just as I did. Sam felt my mental flinch, the whole pack did. Seth sent me a mental image of him hugging me. Leah growled at Edward. Since I had imprinted we had gotten closer. She understood better then the rest of the pack what I felt. Sam ordered us all to settle down and me to get a grip. I sank to the ground and sent a silent prayer to Grandmother Spider to help me hold back the tears that stung my eyes.

Jasper pov:

What was that? One of the wolves? Hell, it felt like my heart, though long dead, was ripped from my chest. I isolated the emotional backlash as centered on the wolf with the rust colored fur. Now it feels like he's running on auto-pilot just barely functioning. I have to focus on something, anything else before his emotions pull me under. I focus on Emmet his emotions are always so simple. I begin my instruction to further distract myself.

Jacob pov:

I force myself to pay attention to the instruction. Even though I am fully prepared to die if Edward tells me to. Maybe I can help save what he really cares about by taking a few of the other guys out with me. Then a stray thought floats through my mind maybe I can take a more active protection role. I try not to actively think of the other perk, a few moments near him. Will it be enough to ease some of the pain in that void where my heart used to live? I would do anything to make him happy and her safety makes him happy. He complements the thought and I change forms to explain the plan to Bella. I quickly try to hide the slight smile at even that small kindness but give up Bella will misinterpret it anyway. I hold her close as I carry her through the route I planned. I just wanted to pretend for a moment, steal a little of the warmth of his concern for her safety. Stupid me I forget that her can Hear me just as we get to his side my mind betrayed me as I wish he cared even half as much for me. He leans in and whispers in my ear. "You remember what you were thinking as you came up?" I swallowed hard to stop the cry of pain from escaping my mouth. I nodded imperceptibly and have to blink the tears out of my eyes again. " You make her sad and you can kiss this good bye," I nodded again but did not speak. My whole frame was rigged preparing for the next blow. " before you get your little fag hopes up, that does not mean I care if you live or die" he continued the assault as I started to shake slightly. "She would hate to lose her friend."

I spoke in my mind then terrified of what he would do if Bella heard 'Do you want me to stick around then? If keeping her happy is what it takes to make you happy…'

He spoke then loud enough for her to hear "Bella is my life, Jake, for her I would do anything can you say that?"

'Please don't do this, Edward' I knew then that as soon as I was out of her sight I would cry myself to sleep again like I had every night since I imprinted. I had hoped that this one night could be different. " I would die for her" I whispered trying hard to keep my voice from cracking. Just then Alice and Jasper emerged from the forest on my trail.

"It will work perfectly" Alice chimed. I set Bella on the ground then and left without another word. I could not stand anymore.

As soon as I was far enough away that none of them could see I collapsed to the forest floor. The tears I had been fighting came then and I did not try to bite them back now as I curled in on myself. I did not need the heat I was trying to hold myself together to keep the Void that lived where my heart used to from getting bigger. Bella had done the same the time he left. All he wanted from me was to keep her happy so by all I held sacred I would. It hurt like hell to know that other than as some twisted Bella pacifier I was completely worthless to the man who was the center of my world.

Alice pov:

"Wow, that's new," I stated reflexively. I Saw the wolf that had been in love with Bella. What I saw was not at all pleasant. The young wolf going to the clan lord of the wolves and begging to be put to death. What was worse I Saw the reason. Him trembling as he explained that the person he had imprinted on did not want him around. Jasper looked at me slightly concerned. "We have to find Jake, he is about to do something incredibly stupid. "

We found him curled up in a ball in human form completely nude. He did not even hear us approach he was crying so hard. It was disturbing considering he had let down his guard so completely. With that Psycho and her Newborns on the loose that was not smart. Granted we had circled down wind he still should have heard us. Jasper sent a wave of calm at him in an attempt to still his sobbing. I watched him relax a little. I looked to Jasper for conformation that he was stable enough not to lash out before I approached any closer.

Jacob pov:

Pixy and the blond who looks like he is in pain found me. I did not care she put her hand on my upper arm. I relaxed a little more and she threw her arms around me. I Savored her chill arms around me pretending for a few seconds that those arms belonged to my Edward.

Blond boy spoke then, "Look I'm sorry my brother is putting you through all this. I feel what it's doing to you and if you want I can make him pay for it." I growled at that even if Edward was hurting me I could not allow someone to hurt him.

" If that would help the Pack would have killed him already. Even if he doesn't want me It would hurt more if he were gone. There is a tradition in the case of an unrequited imprint. It is considered merciful should the Imprint go unrequited for a year and a day for The clan Lord to End his suffering. It is considered better that the wolf in question die. Wolves in an unrequited imprint will do anything in a vain attempt to earn the love of their mate? If he wanted Edward could make me do anything even endanger my own life or use me as a weapon to kill everyone around me." Alice gasped and let me go. I expected it I was not even worth the love of the center of my world. I started to slide deeper into the void that took the place of my heart.

So it took me by surprise when the blond boy lifted me bridle style from the ground and Pixy wrapped a warm blanket around me. I had not expected kindness. I think I passed out then. When I woke I was in a small cottage in a large bed. The leader of the Cullen clan was sitting in a chair beside my bed and I got the impression I was on suicide watch. I could feel restraints around my wrists and ankles.

"Jake, Alice tells me you imprinted but that the person you imprinted upon did not return the affection. She also told me that in order to get that person to care you would go so far as to end you're own life. I am afraid I can not allow that." Carlisle stated

I was crying again I had done that so much lately. Just then the object of my affection came into the room. My heart skipped a beat. There was no pity in his eyes as there was in the Doctor's only thinly veiled disgust. I looked away I could not let him see my tears he already did not want me. I could not let him see that it was ripping me apart. I could not let him see my this weak. " perhaps, you can get him to talk Edward, or at least get inside his head." Carlisle was leaving me alone with the one thing most dangerous to me.

Edward waited until Carlisle left before starting the assault on me. "I thought I told you to stay away. Looks like you can't even follow a request." I flinched knowing he was right and that I would have to pay. "How about a command? You tell me how to Get that wolf of yours to back off. I am tired of being drawn to the reservation to listen to you're fantasies and crying every night."

I bit back the tears again. But could not keep them out of my voice, "Can we at least be friends I won't ask for more but anything is better than this. Anything even death is better than summery dismissal."

I half expected to get punched for that. But instead I got a resigned sigh.

" So you mean all I have to do to quiet that wolf of yours is agree to be a friend?" he asked. " no strings attached just give you the bare minimum."

I answered softly. " It would ease some but not all of the pain and the pull on you would lessen." I did not add the rest but I think he heard any way. 'maybe then I will be able to survive the year and a day'

"What about the year and a day?" he chimed. I flashed on the tradition of mercy killing but did not speak. He considered my response. "total control you say." his eyes flashed evil ok then Jake you stick around through this fight. And until Bella agrees to marry me then you Disappear in return I will give you one night with me. Only one."

Slash goodness warning.

Edward climbed on to the bed with me with out any fore play or lube He stretched me roughly. I bit back a gasp of pain.. Before I was fully ready Edward slammed into me He was not going to be tender with me at all but at least I would have this to comfort me in the long lonely months and years to come.

All thought left my brain as he hit that bundle of nerves deep inside me and pleasure overtook the pain. I could not know in that instant that the gods decided That I had been tortured long enough. Edward grabbed my cock roughly jerking it in time with his violent thrusts. My orgasm came soon covering my chest and his hand he soon came inside me his venom laced semen cauterizing the internal damage.

End Slash

As I was drifting off in the post orgasmic haze part of an old death song sprung to mind and I muttered it to myself. " And if I die before I wake, How many ravens will my soul make, One crow sorrow two crows mirth, three crows a wedding and four crows a birth."

Edward snarled in my ear then. "How many ravens will you see, Mutt?" When will I learn even with his small kindnesses there is the pain that follows.

Alice pov:

I Saw Jacob again he was sitting under a tree watching Edward marry Bella tears in his eyes. He put his hand to his distended stomach. Then I heard A laughing voice in the vision but seemed as though no one else herd it as it sang a song I did not recognize. The song mentioned Ravens and I saw four sitting on a branch above Jacob. According to the voice four crows ment a birth. Then I saw the singer a half man half coyote he winked at me and my vision ended.

_________________________________________End________________________________________

The words to the song in the story are below

The song is by Gaia Consort I recommend you listen to it the group rocks

Ravens

If Raven called

Your name one night

Hey Mama

Hey nana hey na nay

Twelve more Ravens

Chant in time

Hey nana hey na hey

Death comes early

Death comes mean

Hey Mama

Hey nana hey na nay

But all Mama's children

Return to the Dreamtime

Hey Nana hey na hey

Yo Evohe Yo Evohe

Yo Evohe Yo Evohe

If I should die

Before I wake

Hey Mama

Hey nana hey na nay

How many Ravens

Would my soul make

Hey nana hey na hey

One crow sorrow

Two crows mirth

Hey Mama

Hey nana hey na nay

Three crows a wedding

And four crows birth

Hey nana hey na hey

Yo Evohe Yo Evohe

Yo Evohe Yo Evohe

We sing

Earth my body

Water my blood

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

Earth my body

Water my blood

Mother may you take my

Body when it's cold

Earth my body

Water my blood

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

Earth my body

Water my blood

Mother may you take my body

Shadow of a raven

Lands on a wire

Hey Mama

Hey nana hey na nay

Sun goes down

Like stone on fire

Hey nana hey na hey

Rhythm of the bone

The blood in the heart

Hey Mama

Hey nana hey na nay

Sings

Merry meet

And merry part

And merry meet again

Yo Evohe Yo Evohe

Yo Evohe Yo Evohe

We sing

Earth my body

Water my blood

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

Earth my body

Water my blood

Mother may you take my

Body when it's cold

Earth my body

Water my blood

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

Earth my body

Water my blood

Mother may you take my

Body when it's cold

Earth my body

Water my blood

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

Earth my body

Water my blood

Mother may you take my body

Earth my body

Earth my body

Water my blood

Water my blood

Air my breath

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

And Fire my spirit

Earth my body

Earth my body

Water my blood

Water my blood

Air my breath

Air my breath

And Fire my spirit

And Fire my spirit