Age of Edward Contest

Title: Beneath the Silent Moon

Your pen name: brighterthansunshine28

Type of Edward: Interwarward

If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this contest visit: The Age of Edward C2 Community:

http://www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/community/The_Age_of_Edward_Contest/70125/

Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing with the characters.

Summary: I'd never wanted anything or anyone as thoroughly or desperately as I wanted Bella. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to possess her utterly. I wanted her to bear my name and my children and to be my wife. Submission for the Age of Edward contest.

Brierleigh Hall, 1932

I cursed the Yorkshire rain as I ran from the cover of the house out to Lady Swan's automobile, holding the umbrella carefully over the door so she wouldn't get wet. In her desire to remain dry, she kept very close to my body and I could feel her warmth as we quickly ascended the steps to the large portico.

"Thank you, Edward," she said briskly before moving inside, leaving me standing in the rain.

"You're welcome, Lady Swan," I sneered under my breath. I motioned the chauffeur around to the back and sent two of the footmen to retrieve her copious amounts of luggage, then went into the house.

Once upon a time, Bella and I played together in the nursery while her parents gallivanted through London for the Season in spring and to the Continent in the autumn. They were so rarely seen at home that Bella was desperately afraid of them when they did make an appearance. To be honest, I was frightened of them as well, with their imperious demeanour and expensive clothing.

And then, when we were twelve, Bella suddenly stopped talking to or playing with me. Our beloved nurserymaid was replaced with a stern governess keen on drilling Bella in deportment, etiquette, dancing, and running a household and staff. The girl who loved running through the gardens with me, charming biscuits out of the cooks, and haunting the farms was replaced with a proper lady wearing the latest fashions, though I did hear tales of her abuse of the governess, unruly temper, and general disdain of the London Season for which she was training. Her début into the upper echelons of aristocratic society was the toast of the London Season.

I was sent to work for the Earl's valet, starting my training as a proper servant, and forbidden from calling her anything other than Lady Swan.

I made a few attempts to talk to her, but both her governess and my mother, the housekeeper, chastised me about rising above my station. I never could find her alone and, after a few months, I stopped trying. She never sought me out.

Later that evening, after her ladyship and most of the household had retired, I snuck into the library to switch out books. Returning Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray to the shelves, I browsed the spines until I settled on The Great Gatsby. I was sure the Swans had no idea how well-read the head footman was, but I had been educated with Bella until she turned twelve and continued reading voraciously even after my schooling was ended. Hiding the book under my shirt in case I ran into anyone in the hallway, I quickly went upstairs to my little attic room and lost myself in yet another world of rich carelessness.

The next two weeks were busy with preparations for the upcoming weeklong house party, and the Earl and Countess descended upon the house to ensure that everything was perfect for their guests. Well, the Earl went riding whilst the Countess spent endless hours grilling my mother about the preparations, continually harassing her about every little detail, as if my mother were incompetent. She ran the house without the Countess's supervision for ninety per cent of the year, and did so flawlessly.

I had no use for the aristocracy and its pretensions of superiority.

Everything was in such a frenzy that I did not have a lot of time to spend reading, and The Great Gatsby languished in its hiding place in my wardrobe for a week. I was finally able to finish it late into the morning one night and decided to steal back into the library to exchange it for something new. Nearly all the servants were asleep, but a few were waiting for the Countess and Lady Swan to return from an evening out, so I was extra careful as I made my way downstairs. Closing the library door behind me, I placed the book back in its rightful place on the shelf and started searching for something new to read. While I was standing there, I heard footsteps in the hall, coming closer and closer to the library. I snuffed the candle quickly and hid behind the thick draperies covering the French doors to the terrace.

I could hear Lady Swan speaking loudly to her mother. "For heaven's sake, mama, do not chastise me about speaking so informally with Alice as she is currently one of the only people I can converse with in this godforsaken part of the country. There are no ladies you would consider appropriate for miles and I am lonely! Do not deny me the one comfort I have in this house."

They entered the library and turned on the electric lamps, illuminating the room in an unnaturally bright glow. "Stop being so dramatic, Isabella, for once in your life. You've always had an unfortunate affinity for the help, I just want to ensure that you don't get too attached."

"I will make certain not to get too attached, mama. I learnt that lesson the last time. At least there are people coming in a few days for me to socialise with. And as far as my attachment to Alice, do not forget that she is my maid and papa said I was in charge of her, not you."

I peeked out from behind the draperies to see Lady Swan standing rigidly next to the empty fireplace, exquisite in an emerald green evening dress and smoking her cigarette with a long ivory holder. The Countess was seated in one of the easy chairs looking extremely bored with her petulant daughter.

"Yes, dear, of course you are in charge of Alice. I was just suggesting that you occasionally remind her of her place in this household. She is not your friend, she is your servant. Let's move on from this, it's tiresome, darling. We need to discuss the upcoming house party, as I want you to entertain the younger set. The blue drawing room will be reserved for your exclusive use while the guests are here, but I expect that you will act appropriately at all times. I will station Reginald in there to keep an eye on the younger gentlemen to ensure none of them become out of control."

"I'm certain Reginald will report back to you our every word and move, mother," Lady Swan retorted. The Countess rose and walked toward the doorway.

"I expect you will be on your best behaviour this weekend, and particularly try to impress some of the younger gentlemen. In particular, the Duke of Richmond's youngest son, Lord Pembroke, will be in attendance, and your father and I would not object to uniting with that family."

"It's 1932, mama, not 1815. Please stop discussing my 'marriage prospects' as it's embarrassing and makes you appear ancient. Would you like a hot toddy with your knitting?" Her voice was cutting and I could see the Countess flinch before stalking over to where her daughter was standing.

"You listen to me, Isabella, and listen well. You will entertain the guests in the manner in which you were trained. You will be hospitable and gracious, and the good lord above help you if I discover you've done anything to disgrace yourself or this family. You are the only child of the Earl and Countess of Northallerton and I will not have you taint our reputation with your outlandish ways and talk of independence. Don't think I haven't heard the rumours circling London about you."

She swept out of the library and left Lady Swan standing alone in front of the fireplace, looking, impossibly, both defiant and forlorn.

Guests were due to arrive any minute and my mother was running down the finalised list of guests, their attendants, and the attendants' room assignments. I would be sharing my quarters with the Lord Pembroke's valet. I hoped he was decent and not prone to conversation. I enjoyed the quiet and privacy of my room and resented any intrusion. Mum knew this, of course, which meant we would be at full capacity this weekend; she only ever assigned someone to share with me if there were no other space available.

The day was spent directing the valets and ladies' maids to both their rooms and the rooms their employers would be using. After dinner service, the ladies all retired to the drawing room while the gentlemen had cigars and port at the table. It was there that I overheard the Earl discussing Lady Swan with the Duke of Richmond.

"I think she shall be amenable to the marriage, William, but hopefully they will take a liking to each other this weekend without too much interference on our part. It would be nice to have a son in the family to carry on the title with Isabella."

The Earl stubbed out his cigar and indicated to me that he would like more port. After carefully pouring the wine into the glasses so as not to spill on the pristine tablecloth, the Earl raised his glass to the Duke's and saluted the potential match. Shortly thereafter the gentlemen went to join the ladies in the drawing rooms, leaving behind a mountain of dirty plates, crystal, silverware, and linens for the servants to clean.

After the house fell silent that evening, I retreated to the library to find a new book. After the confrontation with her mother, Lady Swan had lingered in the library, leaving me trapped behind the draperies and I was so tired when she finally left that I hastily returned to my room without choosing new reading material. I cautiously entered, checking to be certain I was alone before closing the door behind me quietly. Lifting my candle high in the air, I perused several of the shelves, debating between the comfort of a Dickens classic I'd read repeatedly or an American Civil War novel.

I was so intent on deciding on which book to read that I did not hear anyone else enter the library until Lady Swan's voice shook me out of my reverie.

"Good heavens, Edward, what on earth are you doing in here at this time of night?" She sounded annoyed to have come upon me here, and stalked over to the liquor cart to pour herself a glass of brandy.

"One of the guests requested a book, and I offered to fetch it as his valet was not feeling well, Lady Swan." I walked over to the light switch and flipped on the electric lamps. No point in standing in here in the near dark if I'd already been discovered.

"How charitable of you to help, Edward, but you must be tired and I'm certain the guest won't be wanting to read A Tale of Two Cities at this hour. I'm sure it can wait until the morning, wouldn't you agree? I don't think anyone is awake but the two of us."

"What are you doing up so late, anyway?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Her hand briefly paused in the act of bringing the brandy to her lips before she tossed it back in one long swallow. "I was looking for Persuasion, if you must know. Alice must have removed it from my bedroom. But this is my house. This is my library. I didn't realise I needed your permission to be up so late."

I apologised and moved towards the door in order to show myself out. As I opened it to leave, her ladyship turned to face me. "Don't apologise to me, Edward," she whispered.

Just as I was closing the door, I thought I heard her say, "you're not the one who should apologise for anything," but I wasn't certain.

I was awoken the next morning by the sound of a knock on my door at an ungodly hour, even for a servant.

It was Alice, Lady Swan's personal maid. She said nothing, but handed me a book before turning and swiftly exiting the men's quarters. Using the faint pre-dawn light by the window, I held it up to read the type on the binding: A Tale of Two Cities.

Inside was a note on her ladyship's personal stationery.

For the "guest". I trust he will enjoy it.

Bella

I was too busy that day to ponder what Bella meant by sending me that book. Lady Swan, I corrected myself mentally. It wouldn't do to start thinking of her as "Bella" again, due to one kind gesture. We were in close proximity throughout the day as I served both the picnic lunch in the gazebo and the formal dinner in the palatial dining room, but she never once glanced my way beyond requesting another lemonade at lunch or a refill of her Champagne at dinner.

I noticed how carefully the Earl and Countess watched her, as if expecting an outburst at any moment, but she behaved herself exactly as one would expect of a young aristocrat, flirting and conversing in equal measure, ensuring the comfort and ease of the younger set. She showed no partiality for Lord Pembroke, though he seemed increasingly enamoured of her, following her around like a lost puppy.

His valet, Jasper, only confirmed my opinion that his lordship was nothing more than a bored dilettante, intimating that Lord Pembroke has fallen in and out of love with ease, rarely staying attracted to a woman for more than a few weeks, and seemingly oblivious to Lady Swan's indifference.

The next day passed similarly to the day before: luncheon served outdoors, a quiet afternoon, dinner, and socialising in the various drawing rooms. Lady Swan dodged Lord Pembroke's advances with increasing frustration and she was starting to show her irritation at his constant attention.

She drank heavily throughout dinner, throwing vicious remarks in Lord Pembroke's direction whenever he spoke to her. Her parents sent more than one disapproving glance in her direction, but she was either too far away to notice or blithely ignored their nonverbal warnings. Once the ladies withdrew from the table, several of the gentlemen turned to Lord Pembroke and teased him about his obvious attentions towards Lady Swan.

"For heaven's sake, Jake, you need to stop with the constant fawning all over Bella. She sees you as nothing but a joke," Lady Swan's cousin, the Honourable McCarty said, leaning back in his chair and enjoying a cigar.

"Your attentions are certainly very marked, my boy," his father chimed in, looking amused. "Why don't you spend some time with the other young ladies, and leave the poor girl alone for a time. It will increase her interest in you if you drop her suddenly."

Lord Pembroke flushed but said nothing, and the conversation eventually turned to tomorrow's shooting expedition and politics.

Later that evening I was refilling the liquor decanters in various rooms when I stumbled upon Lady Swan seated at the piano in the music room, softly playing a Mozart tune learnt years ago. She was alone, her crimson evening dress a stark contrast to the muted blues and greys of the decor. She looked up sharply as I entered, but kept playing, so I continued through the room to the liquor cabinet. I was relieved to note that she no longer looked as intoxicated as she had in the dining room.

"What do you think of Lord Pembroke, Edward?" Her tone was conversational and gave no indication of what she was thinking.

"I'm not sure I have an opinion of him, your ladyship."

"Of course you have an opinion of him, don't be so absurd. I know how servants talk and my parents have hardly been subtle in their aspirations of late."

I still wasn't certain what she wanted to hear, so decided to answer honestly. "Lord Pembroke is rich and from an excellent family, so I see why your parents favour it. But he's young and foolish, and no match for you, as you very well know."

"He is a fool, and an ignorant fool at that. He's completely ridiculous! Just now, in the drawing room, he attempted to recite a Shakespeare sonnet to me, and he was so serious and earnest, but I couldn't stop laughing. I tried to disguise it as a coughing fit, but I don't think it was particularly believable." Lady Swan continued to play, transitioning from Mozart to Dream a Little Dream of Me with minimal flourish.

I did my best to smother my snicker at the picture of Lord Pembroke trying to recite Shakespeare to a serenely disdainful Bella, but she noticed and flashed a genuine smile at me. "Stop it!" she commanded, but there was little authority behind her words. "It's not funny, Edward. My parents will be furious when they realise I don't plan to wed him."

Finished with the decanters, I wandered over to the piano, ostensibly to hear her play, but really to be closer to her. "Why do they care so much, Bella? You're not even twenty, and this is only your second Season. You have plenty of time to find a husband."

Her eyes flitted around the room before meeting mine, and she slowly stopped playing, her hands resting in her lap. "Papa is ill, and the doctors are not sure how long he will...how much more time he has. He refuses to stop riding, smoking, and drinking as the doctors have requested, saying he would rather go out happy than miserable. The only concession he's made to his illness is his determination to find me a husband, but I have been very unwilling to throw my life away for a title and some money. Plus, all the men they've introduced me to have been downright bores."

Bella rose from the piano, sauntered over to the liquor cabinet, and poured herself a brandy. "Care for a drink?" she inquired, quirking a perfectly arched brow in my direction.

I did, but servants never ate or drank in front of our employers, so I declined. She poured a brandy for me anyway and brought it to where I was standing, her slow pace allowing me to fully appreciate her beauty in the stunning dress she wore, the dark satin shimmering in the light from the chandeliers. Diamonds from her tiara and necklace glittered as she moved, sending rainbows across the room.

She was stunning and she knew it. I couldn't let myself become attached to her again, yet I found myself unable to leave.

"What would you do if you weren't a footman?" Bella asked next, settling herself on the piano bench again and replaying Dream a Little Dream of Me, pausing now and then to take a sip of her brandy.

"I don't know," I responded truthfully, leaning against the piano and sipping my drink. "What could I do? I don't have any education or money. There aren't a lot opportunities for someone like me."

"Hmmm," she murmured. "It seems a shame you're in England and not America. I've heard stories of smart, well-spoken people making good lives for themselves there, regardless of their backgrounds."

I was about to reply when the door to the music room suddenly opened and my mother stood in the doorway, a shocked expression on her normally placid face.

Bella greeted her calmly, as if the two of us indulged in tête-à-têtes on a regular basis. I placed my brandy glass on the piano top hastily, embarrassed to be caught drinking and socialising with Bella when I ought to have been working.

"Lady Swan, excuse me, I didn't realise that anyone was using this room. If I could borrow Edward for a time…" my mother trailed off, clearly surprised with our closeness and comfort with each other.

"Of course, Esme, I wouldn't dream of keeping Edward from you. We were only talking 'of shoes and ships and sealing wax…'"

"'Of cabbages and kings,'" I supplied, smiling genuinely at Bella for the first time in years.

She returned my smile and continued the verse, "'and why the sea is boiling hot.'"

"'And whether pigs have wings.'" I finished, striding to the door to follow my mother back downstairs. "Good night, your ladyship."

"Good night, Edward," Bella called from the piano, still playing, though her song had drifted into As Time Goes By.

The next day, I was so occupied with various tasks assigned by my mother and the butler, Collins, that I had no opportunity to see Bella. Our conversation had made it difficult for me to remember her as Lady Swan, and I mulled over her words and expressions throughout the day. I also thought about her song choice, surprised that she knew such recently popular songs. It didn't seem like the Countess to allow her to play anything other than classical concertos and sonatas, but perhaps she was unaware of her daughter's recent forays into music.

"You have been humming all day," Jasper remarked at the end of the night as we were both preparing for bed.

"Have I?" I asked, surprised at this. Humming wasn't something I generally did.

"Yes, you were humming this morning, and at lunch, and now. Did one of the lady's maids catch your eye?" he teased.

I finished washing my face and flung myself into bed, not bothering to answer.

"Or perhaps it is the gorgeous Lady Swan who has so captured your attention. I caught a glimpse of her last night in that red dress...I definitely wouldn't object to warming her bed if she ever invited me into it."

"You gossip like an old woman," I complained, trying to not react to the bait he'd just lain before me. "Go cosy up to the maids if you want to gossip about my love interests, but I just want to sleep."

"Good night, Edward," he replied, climbing into his narrow bed.

I curled up on my side, pretending to sleep, but really thinking of Bella. Lady Swan, I mean. For some reason, an old memory was running through my mind over and over again, like a movie reel replaying the same scene repeatedly.

Bella was sprinting through the formal gardens in the June sun, her long brown hair streaming behind her as she tried to run from me. "I'm going to catch you, Bella!" I called as I chased after her.

She shrieked with laughter and changed course to head in the direction of the lake. There were lots of good trees for hiding behind down there, as well as an outbuilding that housed the boats the grown-ups sometimes used during parties. She darted through some trees, trying to remain hidden, but her white lace dress shone like a beacon through the woods. When she reached the clearing that housed the lake, she took off in a sprint again, dangerously close to the water, but always just far enough away that her new shoes and stockings wouldn't get wet or muddy.

She was as proud as a peacock of that dress, and had preened before the mirror in the nursery when I shyly told her how pretty she looked in it.

I caught up with her near the dock and managed to herd her down to where to boats were tied, so that she was trapped along the wooden pier.

"Edward," she called. "You wouldn't hurt a girl, would you? I'm a lady!"

I smiled at her tactics, but continued walking down the dock, trapping her at the very end of it. "You said I couldn't catch you, and I did, so there!" was my mature response.

"Well you've caught me, what are you going to do with me?"

I was just next to Bella, deciding between tickling her until she cried uncle or ransoming her freedom for some of the books she kept in the nursery, when she pointed down at the lake in horror.

"SNAKE!" she screamed in fright. I leaned over to look into the water, but didn't see anything.

I didn't even realise I was being duped until I felt her hands on my back, pushing me into the water. Unfortunately for her, however, she lost her footing and tumbled into the water with me. We both broke the surface, spluttering, pushing our hair out of our eyes.

"Bella!" I yelled at her. "There wasn't really a snake, was there? You tricked me so you could get away, you sneak!"

She had the grace to look sheepish, and admitted she tricked me. "I fell in anyway, though," she said sadly, eyes filling with tears. "And my pretty dress is probably ruined."

I swam over to where she was treading water and kissed her cheek. "I bet my mum can fix your dress for you, Bella, or have one of the laundresses do it. Let's go back in the house and see."

We swam to the bank and sloshed up towards the house, using the kitchen entrance so we wouldn't drip all through the house. If mum was shocked at our appearance, she said nothing, hustling us both out of our soaked things, wrapping us in towels, and sitting us before the kitchen fire, a cookie and glass of milk for each of us.

Bella cried a bit for her dress, but my mother soothed her fears and promised her it would be as good as new once it was washed and ironed. Bella graced her with an angelic smile before docilely accepting her cookie, her world happy again.

It was then that the unprecedented happened: the Countess swept into the kitchen, her expensive clothing and jewellery looking out of place in the simple kitchen. The cooks gasped and curtseyed for their mistress, and even my mother looked flustered by her sudden appearance.

"Esme, here you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." Even then, I knew this was probably a lie. The Countess didn't look for people, she pulled a cord and someone came running to her.

"I am sorry, your ladyship, I never heard you ring. I've been looking after the children."

"I need Isabella to be made presentable in half and hour for the arrival of her governess. Please also ensure that Isabella's belongings are moved from the nursery to the rose bedroom no later than tomorrow. The nursery will be turned into the governess's room." She turned to leave, and noticed the two of us sitting by the fire, both gaping at her, unfinished cookies in our hands. "And, Esme, remember what we discussed yesterday. Isabella needs to start preparing for her début and I will not have her distracted."

Mum glanced regretfully back at the two of us, but nodded her head. The Countess flounced from the room, the train of her dress trailing after her, without even acknowledging her daughter's presence.

Later that night she explained to me that Bella, or Lady Swan as we were to call her from then on, was starting to prepare for her entrance into Society and would not be able to play with me anymore. It was also time for me to start earning my keep, so I would be training with the Earl's valet and the butler, so that I could eventually take my place as a member of the staff.

I remember crying myself to sleep that night and every night thereafter for a month. Bella had avoided our favourite haunts, and her governess and my mother did everything they could to keep me away from Lady Swan before I finally stopped trying.

That was over six years ago, and Bella's abandonment still stung. I realised that she needed to take her rightful place as the sole heir of the household, and needed to leave childhood things behind, but I resented that she had just dropped our friendship. She had been the centre of my life for so many years, my only real friend. I didn't understand how she could so casually discuss marriage with a stranger, and I resented her parents for pressuring her into a marriage that was so clearly wrong for both parties.

Mostly I resented how much I missed my best friend and how cruelly we were separated.

I was exhausted the next day from a lack of sleep and the increased workload from having so many guests in the house. The highlight of today's schedule was an evening dance for the guests and neighbouring families, so the day was relatively quiet as everyone readied for the night's activities.

The guests kept close to the house, the ladies whiling away the time in the gardens or music room, the gentlemen in the billiards room or the Earl's study. Yet again, I was kept too busy to see Bella, tasked with doing chores in the ballroom in preparation for the evening. Once the dance was under way, I was able to sneak off to the portion of the garden that was unlit by torches, seeking fresh air and some solitude in the cool September evening.

I had intended to only take a small break, but the serenity of the shrubbery was enticing, and I wandered through aimlessly for quite some time, thinking about Bella's question from the other evening. What would I do if I weren't a servant? I honestly didn't have an answer for that question, because what else could I do? I was nineteen, with limited formal education and no money, and trapped in a life of servitude.

A burst of laughter from the terrace recalled me to the present and I hurried in the direction of the house. As I rounded the final corner, someone barrelled into me, nearly knocking me off my feet. I looked down to see Bella's upset face staring back up at me.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked, steadying us both and drawing her away from the lit path so no one else would see her this out of sorts. I shrugged out of my coat and placed it around her shoulders, knowing that her thin dress would do little to protect her from the cool breeze.

"Thanks," she sniffled, slipping her arms into the sleeves.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked again, steering our walk in the direction of the lake, so I could ensure her privacy.

"Nothing. I just needed to have a moment of quiet, that's all."

"Nothing is wrong, but you're near tears and running away from a dance."

"It's nothing, I'm overreacting and it's silly and you shouldn't be wasting your time out here with me."

"Well, then, what has you overreacting?" We reached the lake and stood at the end of the dock. While I waited for her to speak, I took in the scenery and the way the moonlight reflected off the still water.

"You should go back to the house, Edward. I wouldn't want you to be in trouble for shirking your duties," Bella said quietly. "You don't have to be kind to me, you know," she added. "I certainly do not deserve your kindness."

"I wouldn't be here, Bella, if I didn't want to be."

She turned her back to me, then, looking at over the countryside and the water. "Lord Pembroke proposed marriage this evening." I struggled to take a breath; it felt like a giant weight had suddenly been placed on my chest.

"He was so calm and collected, talking about how it was a good match for both of us - the nearness of our family homes, the similarities in age, wealth, and importance...it was so impersonal. I always thought my first proposal would be romantic and sweet and loving, not a business transaction." He voice was calm, but I could hear the pain and frustration and the tears threatening to emerge.

"How did you answer him?"

She turned back to face me, eyes wide and almost desperate. "I just ran out. I didn't say yes or no; I just ran."

I ran a hand up and down her arm soothingly, in the same way she liked when we were little. And, just like when we were children, her breathing calmed. "Thank you, Edward," she whispered. "It would make my parents so happy if I were to marry him, and that can't be wrong, can it?"

"Bella - " my voice broke and I realised that I couldn't encourage her to marry him, despite her parents' wishes. I couldn't push her into the arms of another man. "It's your life. You would be the one to spend the rest of your life with him, not your parents. You can't throw your life away to make them happy."

"My life isn't exactly perfect right now," she scoffed, "but I think a husband, especially one such as Lord Pembroke, would be easier to manage than my mother. I could suddenly have a desire to spend time in the Alps, or in Monte Carlo, and go on my own."

"Is that what you really want?"

"No, that's not what I want. But I am not allowed to have what I want, what I've always wanted, so what does it matter? I'll have to marry someone, someday, preferably sooner rather than later, so why not him?"

"Because you don't love him, Bella! That's why!" I exclaimed, frustrated with her determination to ruin her life.

"Of course I don't love him. I barely tolerate his presence for more than fifteen minutes at a time."

Despite the seriousness of our conversation, I couldn't quite stop the laugh that escaped at that.

"It's not funny, Edward," Bella stated, giving me a gloriously irritated look, but there was humour lurking in her large eyes.

"No, it's not," I conceded. "But you have to admit that you sounded ridiculous just now."

She laughed then; her whole face lighting up, and when she looked up at me her smile was dazzling.

"I suppose I should get back to the house," she eventually sighed, looking around the lake regretfully.

"Don't go." The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I watched the smile on Bella's face fade away.

"Edward..." It came out as nothing more than a whisper and I could see the dawning comprehension on her face as we looked at each other.

"I can't do this," she said flatly, her eyes clouding over as she turned to leave.

"Bella, wait," I said, stopping her from leaving by grasping her upper arm. "Please don't leave me again," I murmured. "One day you were Bella and we were running through the gardens and playing together in the nursery, the next you were Lady Swan and you were learning how to be yet another obnoxious, entitled member of the aristocracy. Where did you go, Bella? What did I do to deserve that?" I angrily exclaimed, my voice getting louder with each word. After so many years, it was cathartic to finally say this to her, to ask these questions.

"I didn't want to do it, I never wanted to, you have to believe that. You didn't do anything wrong, Edward, I had to do it, I promise you." Her eyes filled with tears, and I pushed back the pang of guilt that arose at the sight of them. I hated making her cry. "You have to believe me. Mama insisted that we stop being friends, and when I said I couldn't stop, that I wouldn't do it, she threatened to send you away. At the time I just thought she meant London, but I mentioned you several years ago and she said she would throw you and Esme out without references. And I'm so selfish, Edward, so I did what she asked, so you would still be around, even if we couldn't be friends anymore."

My mind reeled at this new information. I wanted to reject what she said, to insist that she tell me the truth, to shake it out of her if I had to. But when I looked in her eyes, I knew that she was being truthful and that her cow of a mother had forced her into it.

I pulled her against me in a hug, rubbing my hands up and down her back, her sides, trying to comfort her, feeling guilty for having made her cry. "Shhh," I crooned into her ear. "I had no idea, Bella. I've been so horrible and snide to you all these years, and you were just trying to help." She looked up at me so trustingly, with eyes so full of regret, that I snapped. I reached up with one hand to brush the tears away from her face with my thumb, cupping her cheek and marvelling how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. "No more tears. You've cried enough tonight."

I felt her shuddering breaths, and I knew she was valiantly trying to regain control.

I leaned forward to kiss her forehead, very nearly losing myself at the feel of her skin under my lips. Her body pressed into mine and I reflexively tightened the arm holding her to me. I could feel her every curve through her dress, the way her breasts rose and fell against my chest with every breath, the slight shiver that shook her frame as we stood together. My heart began to race, pounding with excitement, and slowly, so very slowly, we drifted even closer, until our lips met for the first time.

The kiss was electric, sending sparks radiating down my body, warming me from within. Her hands slowly began to snake up my chest from my waist, slowly over my breastbone and heart, until they wound into the hair at the nape of my neck; her soft touches teasing and tantalising.

"Edward…" she murmured, and I was pleased to see she looked as overwhelmed as I felt by our kiss. Our eyes met briefly; I could see that she wanted me, wanted this.

"Bella," I breathed back, leaning in again to claim her as mine, a surge of possessiveness coursing through my veins. The kiss intensified, mouths opening, hands groping, breaths coming in short gasps. What had started as a romantic kiss had rapidly evolved into something more, her hands weaving through my hair and holding me firmly against her. I craved her touch, the feel of her skin against mine, letting my hands roam the back of her dress under my coat.

I broke apart from her momentarily to catch my breath before trailing kisses down her jaw towards her ear and then down her neck, sucking gently at the skin over her clavicle, causing her to whimper and breathily moan out my name. Her moan brought me to my senses and I reluctantly stopped kissing her, dropping a chaste kiss on her lips before loosening my grip on her hips and stepping back slightly. Bella's eyes slowly opened and she smiled lazily at me.

"We've been gone a long time. We should both get back up to the house." I didn't want to break the spell of the moonlight, but we would both be in trouble if we were caught out here together.

She looked at me regretfully, but nodded her assent, shrugging out of my overcoat and handing it back to me. She was stunning in the moonlight; her silver dress showing off her creamy skin, accented by blood red rubies in her necklace and bracelet.

"I'll walk you as far as the garden. I'll head over through the kitchen. If anyone asks, you never saw me. You were walking in the unlit gardens for some air. You felt faint from the noise and heat of the ballroom."

We set off at a brisk pace. "Do I look like I've been having a forbidden assignation near the lake, or do I look quite presentable?" she asked, sending me a seductive smile.

"Don't look at me like that or I won't be able to walk away and you'll have a much harder time fixing your appearance, my dear," I warned, but I was unable to keep the smile off my face.

We parted in the shrubbery; I pressed a kiss to her palm before stealing away to the kitchens, an unmistakable spring to my step.

I was still grinning like the village idiot the next morning as I bounded out of bed and enjoyed the sunrise blossoming over the landscape.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning," Jasper sleepily observed from his bed.

"Yes, I suppose I am," I replied.

"I heard several of the other footmen discussing your mysterious absence last night. They weren't particularly happy that you'd abandoned them to do all the work. Some mentioned your special privileges owing to your mum being the housekeeper…"

I closed my eyes and sighed, frustrated with the gossip, but it spurred me to focus solely on my tasks all day. No one who saw me working that day would think I was shirking my duties due to my mother's status in the household. I purposely stayed away from Bella, even managing to escape serving dinner in the dining room. I was worried how I would react if we were in such close proximity after our encounter last night.

I had retired to my room for the evening when a soft knock came at the door. Alice, Bella's maid, stood in the doorway.

"From her ladyship," she stated impassively, handing me a note before turning to head back downstairs.

Meet me in the library. Midnight.

Bella

"Lady Swan's maid has to be the prettiest thing I've seen in awhile," Jasper commented as he turned the corner and entered my room. "Once Lady Swan and Lord Pembroke are wed, we will be spending a lot of time together," he added with relish.

"What?" I barely gasped out the word.

"Lord Pembroke told me he proposed matrimony last night. I assume it's only a matter of time before her ladyship accepts."

"I know that Lady Swan never does the expected." I abruptly shrugged back into my coat and headed for the door. "I'm going to get some air."

I stalked through the house and into the gardens, relaxing only after several turns through the shrubbery. I knew, theoretically, that eventually Bella would marry someone of her rank and not the lowly footman, but it still stung.

I'd never wanted anything or anyone as thoroughly or desperately as I wanted Bella, especially after our kiss on the pier last night. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to possess her utterly. I wanted her to bear my name and my children and to be my wife.

I walked slowly back to the house, and I saw the light click on in the library, indicating that it was almost midnight. I hastened my steps, eager to see her, eager to hold her.

I entered the library quietly, locking the door behind me so we wouldn't be disturbed. I turned to see Bella perched on the sofa, magnificent in a deep purple gown, a lit cigarette dangling elegantly from the ivory holder in her fingers. She was so stunning she nearly took my breath away, from the diamonds in her hair to the black satin heels peeping out from under the hem of her dress.

"Exactly how many evening dresses do you own, your ladyship?" I quipped as I sauntered over to the easy chair next to the sofa.

"It's Bella. And I couldn't begin to count the number of dresses I have, as you very well know," she replied dryly.

"Did you lock the other doors? I would hate to have your mother come upon us in here."

"What are you planning to do behind these locked doors?" Bella asked coyly, looking up at me from under her eyelashes. Her cigarette was dropping ash on the priceless carpet, but she seemed either entirely oblivious or uncaring.

"If I remember correctly, you invited me here this evening, Bella."

She rose suddenly, sauntering over to the doors to the terrace. "The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"

I walked over to the other set of doors, ensuring they were locked and lowering the electric lights, before moving to stand behind her as she gazed up at the night sky. Even with the low lights on in the library, it was so dark outside we could observe the moon and stars.

She was so close I could smell the heady scent of her Floris perfume and feel her frame rise and fall with each breath.

"Why did you invite me here tonight, Bella?" I inquired softly.

"I wanted to see you," she replied simply, and I reached out to wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. "I looked for you throughout the day, but you were avoiding me, weren't you?"

"A little," I admitted. "I thought if I saw you with Lord Pembroke I might get...agitated."

"Agitated?"

"If you must know, I was concerned I might feel the need to punch his lights out if he so much as looked at you the wrong way."

I could see her smile reflected in the glass door. "I thought that might be it, but I worried that you might be regretting last night, and were keeping away for that reason."

I swept her hair off her left shoulder and started dropping kisses along the column of her neck, pausing along her shoulder to nose the strap of her dress out of the way. Bella let out a low sigh as I lightly bit down on her shoulder before soothing the area with my tongue. Deciding I wanted to kiss something other than her shoulder, I turned her in my arms, allowing myself the pleasure of feeling her body under my hands.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered before cupping her cheeks in my hands and kissing her as thoroughly as I knew how. She kissed me back fervently, her hands clasping the lapels of my coat, pressing herself against me.

Time suspended. War could have broken out in the gardens and we wouldn't have noticed. My entire being was focused solely on the beautiful woman in my arms, the feel of her arms around my neck, the way she would playfully nip at my lower lip, the sound of her soft moans and whimpers as our kissing became more and more intense.

My hands began to wander past the realm of propriety, roaming possessively over her back and up her sides, tentatively inching towards her breasts. I broke the kiss in order to gauge her reaction to this new physicality. The pure desire in her eyes reassured me that these liberties were welcome.

"You look delicious with those swollen red lips pouting up at me," I said, leaning down to kiss them softly. Bella's hands worked their way between us, unbuttoning my coat and letting it fall, crumpled, to the floor, before starting the buttons of my shirt as well. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

I needed to be sure before this went any further.

"I want you," she murmured as I started pulling on the row of buttons that ran up her back. I unbuttoned them with an almost aching slowness, as if carefully unwrapping a priceless work of art. Once the buttons were open, I slid the straps off her shoulders and the dress slid to the floor in a swish of silk, leaving Bella clad only in a short slip, garter, and stockings. "I want this."

Our lips met again and again, teasing and playful, but never lacking in passion. My shirt joined the pile of clothes on the floor and I scooped Bella up in my arms, never breaking our kiss as I strode over to the chaise lounge, setting her down gently beside it.

"I'm not made of glass, Edward," Bella said softly. "I want you to touch me. I want you to make me yours."

That was all the encouragement I needed, and I knelt in front of her to unhook her stockings. I rolled them slowly down her legs, my lips following in their wake, delighting in the way she gasped and then moaned as I sucked on the skin on the back of her knee. Once her shoes and the stockings were removed, I placed a kiss on the top of the arch of her foot before continuing upward, my mouth descending on anything in its path.

"Oh God," Bella whimpered as my tongue brushed one of her nipples through the thin silk of her slip. Her eyes drifted shut, her mouth falling open in pleasure. I dragged my fingers up her thighs, gathering the filmy material as my hands continued upward, finally pulling it up and over her head, leaving her before me in only her knickers.

"Bella," I breathed, entranced by hear nearly nude form. "You are exquisite." I returned to worshipping her with my mouth. Her hands slid between us, nails running down my chest and stomach, coming to toy with the closure of my trousers. I broke our kiss, a little shocked at her forwardness.

Bella was a virgin, wasn't she?

Her eyes met mine frankly, and I realised I would not be her first. Her hand stilled on the top button, waiting for my permission to continue. I suddenly felt like an inexperienced virgin, even though I'd been with several of the maids. I tried to cover my confusion by kissing down her neck and collarbone, deliberately trying to leave a mark. She might have had others, but I wanted there to be some proof of our union, even in a temporary form.

Bella took that as a sign to continue and undid my trousers, caressing the skin of my lower back and abdomen with abandon before easing down and cupping me through my underwear. I groaned at the sensation and the way she pushed my trousers down to my ankles with her other hand. I was kicking off my shoes and socks and stepping out of the trousers when I noticed a coy smile gracing her lips. I realised she was enjoying my discomfort.

"You are such a tease, my dear," I said roughly before pushing her down on the chaise lounge and covering her body with my own, relishing the way it felt beneath me. There was nothing better that the feel of her soft bare skin against my own. I trailed my hand down her side and over her hip; she arched into my touch like a cat stretching in the sun.

"Am not," she weakly protested, and I chuckled at her stubbornness. My fingers paused at the top of her knickers, tracing the lace from hipbone to hipbone, eliciting a mewl of pleasure from her. My fingers slowly slid downward, under the lace, and I groaned at the feeling of her, slick and hot and ready for me. I circled her nub a few times before sliding two fingers into her wet heat.

"I want you so much, Bella," I moaned.

"Then take me," she replied, lifting her hips so I could slide the lace and satin down her legs. Once off, Bella reached yet again for my erection, this time slipping her hands under the fabric of my underwear to caress me.

"Christ," I swore, adoring the feel of her hands on me. She ran her fingers up and down my length a few times before handling the waistband and pushing the material down my legs. I kicked them off, relieved to have my erection free of the confining fabric.

Finally. We were both fully nude and I knew how ready she was for me. Leaning down to press hot kisses down her neck and chest, I took one of her rosy nipples into my mouth, proud of the resulting sexy whimper that came from her lips. I made her sound that way. I made her arch and push her breasts farther into my mouth.

My fingers again slid into her, my thumb rubbing lightly over her most sensitive flesh. Bella cried out my name and her eyes drifted shut, subsequent words coming out incoherent and mumbled. Her hips rocked against my hand and I circled my thumb more insistently, kissing her with all the passion for her that was in me. All too soon, her inner walls clenched on my fingers and her legs began to shake as she climaxed.

"Oh," was all she managed to gasp once she came down from her high. Another surge of pride and possession overwhelmed me and I felt myself harden even further. I dragged my hands roughly up her sides, shifting to cover her with my own body, one of my knees nudging hers farther apart.

I wanted her so desperately.

Bella shifted her hips again, causing the tip of my erect length to brush against her sex and we both moaned at the sensation. I slid my forearms under her, bringing her close to me as I pushed forward and sank into her fully. I fought to remain in control as the feeling of her surrounding me, yielding to me, was almost too much for me to bear. It was so right, being joined this way, and as I began to move within her, I tried to convey the depth of my adoration with every thrust.

"I've wanted you so much, Bella," I murmured into her ear. "You have no idea how much I've missed you, how I longed for you to even look at me and not just look through me."

Bella's fingers raked up my back and down my arms, rotating her hips in time with my thrusts.

"Edward..." she breathed, her lust-filled eyes locking with mine. "We feel so right together."

Our movements became more and more erratic and I could feel the knot beginning to form in the bottom of my stomach. I knew I wouldn't last much longer, so I brought my thumb back down to where we were so intimately joined. Almost immediately, Bella began to spasm around me, throwing her head back and exposing the long column of her neck.

"Oh God," moaned Bella as the full force of her orgasm overtook her. A few more thrusts and I came as well, groaning her name before rolling to my side, pulling her with me. She cuddled into my chest, her fingers idly drifting along the skin of my waist; my own fingers were buried in the thick curls of her hair, admiring the way the cold diamond combs contrasted against the rich reddish brown of her hair. She was such a heady combination of fire and ice, my Bella; I never wanted to let her go.

I loved her.

We stayed wrapped up in each other for a time; I pulled the cashmere blanket from the back of the chaise and threw it over us for warmth. We talked quietly of nothing of consequence - books we'd both read, childhood memories, her life in London - but we both realised the danger of remaining in the library for too long, especially in our state of déshabillé.

"I should get back to my room," Bella said regretfully some time later.

"As should I," I replied. "After all, I have to be awake in a couple of hours to start my day. You, my dear, at least have the privilege of being able to sleep late." I dropped a light kiss to her nose before helping her stand.

We collected our clothes and started redressing. I had never before noticed how erotic it was to watch a woman dress herself, but perhaps Bella was putting on a show for my enjoyment. She slid into everything with an aching slowness and grace that left me wanting her again. Once her slip and silk stockings were in place, she pulled her dress over her head and turned her back to me, addressing me over her shoulder.

"I need help with my dress. Could you do up the buttons?"

I slowly slid the jet buttons back into the loops, admiring the contrast between the deep purple of the fabric and the creamy pink of her skin, but lamenting that our time was drawing to a swift close. Once we were both more or less presentable, I moved to the library doors. "I'll go first. You can follow in a few moments to make sure no one sees us leaving here simultaneously."

She nodded her assent and I sensed that she had suddenly withdrawn.

"Bella?" I said softly. Her brown eyes met mine. "I love you. Always have, always will. We will figure it out."

I kissed her gently and slipped from the room.

Jasper woke me far too early later that morning, but did so without comment on my late hours or the large smile that immediately spread across my face as soon as I remembered what transpired in the library.

Bella and I had made love. The memory of the night before sustained me through the morning, through a never-ending array of mindless tasks. Lately such tasks had bored me, but I was buoyed by Bella. Images kept flashing through my mind: Bella's hair in wild disarray, forming a halo around her face; the look in her eyes as she came down from her orgasm; the way her skin looked in the moonlight and the low electric glow of the lamps.

I didn't see Bella until just before dinner; she had remained in her rooms until it was time for cocktails, but I caught sight of her descending the staircase in a peacock blue gown. She was conversing heatedly with her mother, though they both stopped their discussion as soon as they neared the drawing room.

Heaven forbid they be seen disagreeing in public.

I paid her special attention during the meal, constantly hovering at her elbow as much as possible without drawing suspicion. I helped her rise from the table as the ladies excused themselves, and our touch was electric.

"Will I be seeing you later?" I whispered as quietly and discreetly as I possibly could.

"For heaven's sake, not now, Edward," she snapped in reply.

She glided from the room, trailed by some the ladies of the party, and I was left staring after her, unable to read her mercurial mood changes.

I had never before been to Bella's bedroom, but I stalked in its direction three nights later with unerring accuracy. After three more days and nights of the brush-off from her, I was irate. There had been no messages delivered via Alice, no time alone, and no indication that we would ever be together again.

I took a deep breath and knocked softly on her door, checking yet again to ensure that the hallway was empty. The door opened slightly, and I was surprised to see Bella standing there instead of Alice.

"Have you lost your mind?" she hissed, pulling me inside and closing the door behind her. "What if someone saw you, Edward?"

"I would say you rang the bell and none of the women were available to come, so I did." I finally took stock of her clothing and fought to calm my overexcited body: she was wearing a silky, nearly see-through negligee and nothing else. "Do you generally answer your door in your nightclothes?"

She flushed a bit but made no move to cover herself. "I thought it was Alice. I sent her to fetch me some things and she generally knocks instead of trying to open it and risk dropping everything on the floor."

I just stood there gawping at her for a moment, trying to clear my head in order to focus on what I wanted to say.

"Was there a purpose to this night time visit, Edward, or did you just want an excuse to stare at me in my nightgown?"

"Both," I choked out mindlessly. She smiled a bit, but I noticed that her old reserve was still firmly in place.

"You're angry," Bella stated matter-of-factly. "I don't know what you expect from me."

I ran a hand through my hair before nearly exploding with frustration. "I don't know what you want from me, Bella. We make love in the library and you proceed to ignore me for four days. What am I supposed to make of that?"

A soft knock came from the door and Bella started physically pushing me towards the bed. "Get under," she whispered. I was barely concealed when Bella opened the door and Alice entered.

"Thank you for bringing this to me, Alice," Bella said, pulling something off the tray.

"Of course, your ladyship. The letter you wrote to the jeweller earlier is on your secretary. I moved it from your vanity. Do you require anything else?"

"That will be all for tonight. You may go."

"Good night, your ladyship. And, if I may be so bold, permit me to offer congratulations and best wishes on your betrothal to Lord Pembroke."

"Thank you," came the faint reply.

I boarded the ship bound for New York with some trepidation. After all, I was leaving behind my family, my country, and the woman I loved in order to attempt a fresh start in America. Later, watching the English coast fade into the distance, I fought the overwhelming desire to jump overboard and swim back to shore.

Bella looked stricken when I emerged from under her bed, her face a ghostly white. "I didn't want you to find out that way. I was going to write a letter..." her voice trailed off and, for the first time, I saw her self-possession truly desert her. She looked away for a moment before turning back to me, a determined look on her face.

"I want better for you than an affair with the lady of the house, Edward. You can't be a servant your entire life. You have so much more to offer the world."

"And you throwing your life away with that dilettante isn't wasting your life, Bella? You have more to offer the world than that. Why can't you see that?"

"My life and my choices are irrelevant. I am my parents' only child. I can't run away from my responsibilities and my duty to my family. Don't you understand that? I'm trapped. If I don't marry Lord Pembroke now, I'll have to marry an even bigger fool down the road. Don't be so naive; you knew this could never work. How could you not?"

"I love you," I whispered brokenly.

"I know," she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "And maybe someday, in the future... But here and now and in this place?"

I crossed the floor to stand in front of her, my hands tracing softly over her delicate features. She reached up and pulled me against her body. "What would you have said to me?"

Bella took a deep breath before speaking. "I don't really know. That I had to let you go. That I want more for you than just the life of a servant." She left my embrace to pick up an object from the table next to her bed. She held out her hand, and I saw a diamond bracelet dangling from her fingers. "I want you to take this and sell it. Take the money and buy passage to America; take it and buy yourself a new life, school, whatever you want," she begged. "You are meant for more than this."

I looked down at the bracelet, knowing that while it would be worth a fortune, Bella had many like it and her mother had even more. "Bella..." I trailed off, uncertain how to continue. This was not the conversation I had envisioned when I entered her room earlier.

"I will write a letter authorising the sale of this at a reputable London jeweller, so they know it's not stolen and report you to the authorities. From there, you can take a train to Southampton and board a ship, if that's what you decide to do. You could take Esme, if you wanted." Her voice became more and more frantic, and I could see the desperation in her eyes.

"Come with me. We can make a new life together, Bella."

She shook her head. "My life is here."

I took the bracelet from her, touching the exquisite craftsmanship reverently. Bella nearly tripped over herself in her haste to reach her writing desk. Several long minutes later she rose, handing me an envelope and some money. "Take this to Asprey on Bond Street. They know me and will trust you and will give you a good price. The fifty pounds should cover all your expenses on the road to London. You should leave in the morning before the rest of the household awakens."

I vehemently protested taking the bracelet, but she wasn't swayed. Eventually, I gave in, unable to argue with her. She kissed me good-bye before I fled to the safety of my room, simultaneously comforted by and annoyed with Jasper's soft snores. Well, at least he would be happy.

I did not sleep, but mulled over Bella's plan, and eventually rose to greet the dim pre-dawn. I quietly packed my few belongings, safely stored the bracelet in a sock in my bag, and snuck downstairs into my mother's room. Our good-bye was emotional but brief; she understood I couldn't bring her with me until I was established in the States.

It wasn't until I was aboard the train that I discovered the letter she slipped into the larger envelope for the jeweller. My name was neatly written in her elegant script on the envelope, but I couldn't bring myself to read her parting words. What comfort could they provide? Her engagement was now common knowledge, and the alliance between the houses was the toast of London.

The next day I strolled the Promenade Deck, her letter burning a hole in my coat pocket, much as it had for over a week. I finally settled into a deck chair, turning the envelope over and over in my hands, debating whether or not I should read it or throw it into the ocean.

My dearest Edward,

I can barely see through my tears to write this, and sending you away from me is the hardest and least selfish act of my life. Please know that I love you, and hope desperately that in some as-yet-unforeseen future, we can be together again.

I do not have a way with words, so will leave you instead with this quote. I trust you will recognise it and my hope for the future.

"I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak...I have been, but never inconstant."

All my love,

Bella

I carefully folded her letter, placing it next to my heart, and set off to the prow of the ship. Someday we would be together again and I would make myself worthy of her, of her love.

Author's note: The quote at the end is from Jane Austen's Persuasion. This is the result of entirely too much time spent reading novels and watching movies set in the English countryside circa 1930. Inspiration has largely been drawn from Brideshead Revisited (all things Evelyn Waugh, really), Gosford Park, and my own childhood in Yorkshire.

Many MANY thanks to my soulmate, the fabulous Katie (daisy3853), for constantly cracking the whip and providing endless encouragement while I bitched and moaned. Many thanks also to HMonster4, author of the fabulous Breakfast at Tiffany's, for the encouragement, help, and editing you provided. Thanks to Jennde for being an awesome crackfic partner and cheerleader. You ladies are the best!