Hello again~

It feels like I've been gone forever. Though it's only been a year, not too long, right?
Anyways, this is the first time I've ever written something like this (with this pairing as well), and considering I'm a non-yaoi fan who's only fond of LaviYu, I wrote a little humor story in order to entertain my friends. Nothing too serious, so if you're hoping to find some passionate love/kiss/smut in this story, I'm afraid you wouldn't find any. But if you're looking for some fluff, and a sweet humor LaviYu, there ya have it XD

This story is nothing like my other one. Instead of an utter tragedy, this one is a pure humor bomb. Or at least I hope so.

I will dedicate this story to Dem-chan (aka Dementia Morphia, the organizer of this event), my greatest LaviYu friend ever; Kuro-chan (aka Kuro666, one of the best LaviYu fanfic writers), my dearest honey; and Lara-chan (aka LaraBlackEarl, another awesome writer), my sweetest best friend. They're my biggest support ever, I really love them!
And of course, my love for all of my Lavi and LaviYu fellows!

Summary:
After an unexpected birthday present from Lavi, and a one-month long mission, will the almighty Kanda be able to handle the pressure from the whole Order and his inner battles to face the truth of his worsening syndrome, or will he finally give in to his insanity? Will the missing Lavi be able to help? Pure humor. LaviKanda. For the LaviYu Day.

Warning:
If you're not a LaviYu fan, or ESPECIALLY, a Lavi fan (like myself), please take your leave. I will not take any offense toward Lavi, people! Seriously.
My sense of humor is extremely crazy, you have been warned.
And this story will be full of insanity, mostly of Kanda's. *shot* So if you're a loyal fan of Kanda and easily offended, be careful (or should I say that to myself? *gulps*). But I don't think there was anything too serious about it. Just relax, and enjoy it.
Another warning, my writing is not perfect at all. And this was written in rush. Thats why if you find any mistake, just bear with me and my craziness. Again, I'm an artist, not a writer.
And the last but not least, no more warning people! (see how my brain works?)

Disclaimer:
I've stolen Lavi from Hoshino for too long now, so of course I own Lavi! Don't you have an answer for his long absence in the manga? Yep, that's my doing, thank you very much!

Of course you wouldn't take me seriously would you? I would die to own Lavi, but I'm obviously still alive, see my point? I don't own Lavi! (But I own the Lavi FC)
And no, I own neither DGM nor the definition of 'Syndrome'. It's not like I want to, or ever wish to.

- T H E . L A V I . S Y N D R O M E -

- Part 1-

- I'm going insane! -

The term 'syndrome' refers to a group of symptoms that collectively indicate or characterize a disease, psychological disorder, or other abnormal condition. In recent decades, this term has been used outside of medicine in order to refer to a combination of phenomena seen in association. The description of a syndrome usually includes a number of essential characteristics, which when concurrent lead to the diagnosis of the condition, and usually, undesirable condition or quality. Bad conditions caused by unnamed syndromes often lead to abnormal characteristic pattern of behaviors, and then disasters.

Just like the insanely eventful disaster at the Head Quarter of the Black Order in one evening, location still undefined.

That had been a wonderful evening before the storm coming, no Akuma, no Noah, no crazy invention or any Komurin uncountable-X, no stupid fighting between the 'you-are-a-bean-sprout' and the 'I-am-no-bean-sprout', and surprisingly no annoying redhead, which meant no nothing. It had been a surprise at first, but as the clock ticked on, people had grown more and more nervous, the mere surprise had turned to pure panic and fear of what kind of evil tricks the infamous prankster redhead had been plotting for all the evening that had made the already quiet Head Quarter so, well, quiet. But as God never wanted to see his dear children suffer from a pointless fear and a part of Him could not stand the surprising boredom for too long, He finally made his move and that was when the lightning struck right onto everyone in the Order and all Hell broke loose as the storm was coming. Okay, maybe it was a little too much specific. To put it in a simpler way, all the quietness and boredom ended completely when the Japanese Samurai returned from his mission.

In another way of saying, Kanda Yu was on his way to the large hall.
And he was in an extremely bad mood.

Being in a bad mood was just one of the long lasting emotional states, but it might as well become a syndrome in some way with bad conditions, and they, as in 'people', including either geniuses and idiots, called it "the Bad Mood Syndrome". But it was kind of beside the point, at least not in this situation. The Japanese exorcist was just in his usual bad mood, as normal as it was. People talked too much, he got mad. People laughed too loud, he got mad. People breathed too close to him, he got mad. The leaves fell and the wind blew, he got mad as well.
Okay, so it was not very normal, but sometimes people just kept forgetting the main subject of their in-progress research and analysis, and in this story, Kanda Yu. Yes we were talking about Kanda Yu, the simplest teenager in the world of black and white (and the most complicated samurai in the history, but scratch that), and he getting mad was the most natural thing on the planet, just like kids love candies and Lavi loves teasing Kanda.
More like annoying. Or irritating.
Anyways, speaking of which, the absence of a certain redhead and the whole quiet thing were starting to get on his nerves bit by bit. Usually he would trade anything (except Mugen and his precious lotus, which meant nothing) to get some quiet time for himself, and usually, he always got what he wanted by force. But this whole silence thing along with the nervous surrounding, and the lack of Lavi, he mentally added, were just unusual. And he hated things out of ordinary, because they always pissed him off to no end, which would lead to his every-day-bad-mood, and eventually come back to Lavi, who always seemed to be the cause of everything 'unusual' in his oh-so-normal life. Speaking of Lavi, the lack of his presence once again came to his mind like an unmerciful strike of thunder.

Great. Just great.

The beautiful young exorcist angrily stepped through the large door of the hall way, his long raven hair was lazily let down as each silky strand flowing freely around his slim waist and glowing under the early moon. Once again his natural beauty was completely ignoring its owner's mental state as he continued to his unending Japanese curses under his breath, glaring at every single person he passed by as furiously as a super human possibly could. He looked tired, angry, exhausted, and angry. So he was angry. But how could he not? He was finally back from a Goddamn long and exhausting mission after a whole freaking month and everything was just seeming to push him over the edge. People were acting a little too much nervous around him. The Order was a little too much quiet, the air grew too hot, the wind blew too loud, and there was not a sight of the stupid redhead!

Basically on his mind, only the last reason mattered to him, yet being in denial as he always was, he just had to make a long stupid list just to increase his anger with the last reason, and he didn't even know why! Damn, his mind was playing back the stupid incident again, and even though it had happened a day before he left for his mission, and it had been a month since then, it still felt extremely fresh in his non-photographic memory.

The idiot Lavi had sneaked into his room that night while he was packing, grinning widely at him before suddenly shoving a small red box into his hands and then made a bee line for the door in a fraction of a minute, the earlier grin never left his face. No word had fallen from either of them. Kanda had just stood there, dumbstruck as he continued staring at the Birthday present Lavi had just given him for a good fifteen minutes before it dawned on him completely.

And dammit, the idiot had successfully fled away without having his body sliced in half!

He had gone back to stare at the box anyway. Had it been possible that the box was a new prank of the idiot, or it was definitely some kind of bomb inside that could make people do something extremely crazy or embarrassing, or laugh to death. What else could have made the redhead run off so damn fast if not the thought of being blown up with the poor long-haired victim?

The answer was too simple, the Birthday boy.

Kanda Yu had always been the scariest thing, or person, in the Order, and along with Mugen never leaving his side, he was almost invincible.
'So it couldn't be a bomb', the invincible samurai had reassured himself as he slowly unwrapped the box. If death were not his problem, then there was nothing that could scare him right?
Right, and that was when the thing inside the box had totally gotten him. He would have dropped it to the ground had he not realized it was actually a cake. A small, heart-shaped, chocolate cake to be exact. On top of the cake had stood proudly a tiny plushie bunny holding up a small heart-shaped piece of paper with some neat Japanese words, which obviously belonged to the Bookman Junior. And it had looked so cute that even the cold arrogant exorcist had allowed the corner of his lips to curve into a small smile while reading it. It had been a simple birthday greeting written in his first language, but until now he could still feel the warmth from the words themselves, just like the bittersweet taste of that cake…

Wait, did he just think it was sweet?

Dammit, that was it! The evil plan of the idiot, was actually to make him eat sweet things, which he loathed, and to make him think those sweet things sweet, which he had just done. Unintentionally, he added. Maybe the thing was sweet for real, but why the heck should he care! He hated sweets, for God's sake! And until now he still had no idea what on Earth had gotten into him to have him eat that cake in the first place… Was it because of the cute bunny, or the warm Japanese note? Or maybe just because of the one who had given it? He didn't know, and he was so confused and irritated.
No, he was angry just thinking about it again. And there was the whole quiet thing around him, and the lack of…no, he was getting caught in an unending loop of his stupid thoughts!

Stupid Order. Stupid thoughts. Stupid cake. Stupid bunny. Stupid Lavi!

Argh, again! That stupid 'L-a-v-i' thing was starting to get on his nerves. That was not good. He needed to get distracted. He needed to let out his anger before he lost it. Quickly.
And they said when you got angry, the fastest way to get away from it was to pick on someone else. Someone annoying. Someone irritating. Someone like La—uh oh.
That was close.

Someone like that idiot over there!

He quickly jumped to a God-sent distraction, and in this situation, some poor idiot who was getting in his way. Or in his way of saying, who breathed the same air as his in a close distance. Killing would do better than picking on 'it', but it was still a no-go.

"You over there!", he snapped

"Y-Yes…Kanda-sama? Did I-I do something…wrong? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me!", the poor finder was seemingly having a hard time to piece his mind together again as he had just swallowed his tongue in panic.

"Say, why is everyone acting so nervous? And why are things so quiet here? If I ever found out you lied to me…", he said lowly in a warning tone.

"No no I would never lie to you! It's just…as far as I can see, it's because of the absence of Lavi-sama and people were just afraid of what he might—"

He never got to finish his sentence. And he would never get to know the reason of his death, or unconsciousness, was because he had said the 'forbidden word' earlier. As soon as the word fell from his lips, Kanda had immediately decided the first sacrifice of the day for his 'Bad Mood Syndrome'.
Poor soul, he hadn't known the poor Kanda-sama had been tortured by his inner thoughts for a whole month and now he just had to pay for accidentally turning 'Kanda's violent mode' on.
Things couldn't get any better. Or worse.

Stupid finder. Stupid thoughts. Stupid cake. Stupid bunny. Stupid Lavi!

There, he'd said it again. But he was an exception, wasn't he? It's not like he could kill himself for saying the word, or thinking of the idiot, or missing—oh no, he didn't even know what was on his mind anymore! There was no way in hell he would actually mis— okay, another forbidden word! That damn rabbit, shoving him in this whole pain in the ass like this…he was going to kill that idiot!
Lav—the redhead was going to pay once he found him! Clenching at his beloved Mugen, he was about to make his search for the missing rabbit until it struck him not-so-kindly.

Wait a minute, he could not face that idiot right now! His face and his brightly reddish style and his sweet grin and—

Had he just said what he thought he had just said?

Dammit, he had forgotten the key word! There, he mentally added the 'sweet' word to his increasingly 'forbidden word' list. This was totally screwed! Now he knew for sure that he could never face the idiot with his mental state like this again, or else his whole list, along with his life, would be completely ruined! In order to protect his perfect image, all he had to do was to report the mission, find something to eat (which sure would eventually end up soba), go to his room, and done. Everything would be just fine once he was back to his room. There were only 2 obstacles left, and he would make sure to ace them as quickly as inhumanly possible.

Or that was what he had thought.

He didn't know how wrong he had been until the very moment he grumpily rushed in Komui's office. He had to try his best to restrain himself from killing the stupid Head Officer for using that stupid coffee cup with that pink bunny thing, which was stupid as well. All bunnies seemed to remind him of…scratch that, he couldn't hate bunnies because currently there was one in his pocket, the cute little one he had been keeping with him all the time ever since someone had given him on his birthday.
And because of that stupid someone, he now had to immediately curse himself and silently add another word in his list. 'Cute', dammit! He couldn't believe he had actually said that, the 'bad mood' thing had gone too far, and he was sure as hell it wasn't just a mood anymore. It had somewhat become a sickness. And this sickness obviously had something to do with that bunny! Not the bunny plushie, but a bunny boy!

It was the Supervisor's sing-sang voice that sent him flying back to reality. Very cruel reality.

"So, Kanda-kun, how was the trip? Aside from the mission that is."

His brow twitched. How dared he ask such stupid question when his life was on a very slight thread that was called 'the Kanda Yu's self-control'?

"Che."

Lesson number two in Kanda book, when you are at loss at words or you're trying your best to control the urge to kill, just say 'che'.
After the failure of the 'picking-on-someone-when-you're-angry' in lesson number 1, he had to make sure this one would work at all cost. As long as he said nothing but 'che', everything would go well and he would soon move to the last obstacle. Perfect plan. Perfect book. Perfect Kanda.

"Are you in your usual bad mood, Kanda-kun? Ah I see…then I better not bother your rest anymore. Thank you for your hard work, you can leave now."

After giving him a warning glare for the 'bad mood' part, he silently sighed in relief and made his way towards the door. It worked. Now to the last—

"By the way, if you happen to see Lavi-kun around, please pass my word to him that I need hi—"

CRASH!

'Keep your calm, Yu, keep your calm. Rule number one, cannot kill people. Can-not-kill---'

"YOU STUPID KOMUI! DO NOT EVER MENTION THAT AGAIN!"

'Keep your calm, Yu, keep your calm.'

The whole office was almost blown up by his Mugen as if to prove another failure of the Kanda book and lesson number two, and the second sacrifice was made right at that moment to remind the poor victim and the rest of the Order that the 'Kanda Yu's self control' thread had broken. If not for the stupid rule number one messing in his head, Komui would have been dead by now.

However, judging by his current state and the blood dripping on Mugen, it was not like he could be considered 'alive' in a long time ahead though…

Leaving the supposed corspe buried six feet under the whole mess he had just mercilessly caused, the pretty murderer harshly kicked the already destroyed door and walked off like nothing had happened at all. It was absolutely none of his concern. His mind at this very moment was pretty much occupied by the image of a certain redhead, and anger. Yes, the anger had slowly getting unbearable and soon Rule number one would be thrown into a trash bin as well. Thank Gods that at least he had managed to regain a little bit of his composure or else he would have to very soon follow his victim.
But that didn't mean it didn't trouble him at all, in fact he was not sure how long he would be able to keep his sanity anymore. It was getting out of his hands bit by bit, thanks to all the stupid people around him.

Stupid Komui. Stupid people. Stupid sickness. Stupid bunny. Stupid La—

Slap! He was at it again! This time he had to mentally and repeatedly slap himself for his stupidity. Okay it was worse. Though look on the bright side, no new forbidden word on the list! Yay, he was making a process! Or was he?
Oh no, that was it. He was starting to lose it. Now that there was no more stupid words that bothered his mind, no more obstacle between himself and the truth he had been denying all the time, meaning he was coming closer and closer to the point of using the word direct to that redhead, meaning…
NO! There was no way he would let it happen!
Wait a minute, there was still one more obstacle he had to get over, right? A new distraction, good, he needed that. Gods knew how he needed that. This had better be a good one, or else…lets just think positive. It's not like he felt any hungry anymore, after all those pressure he'd been through with his new-found sickness, no, syndrome. Yes, that must be a syndrome!

'Bad conditions caused by unnamed syndromes often lead to abnormal characteristic pattern of behaviors, and then disasters.'

He gulped. That was it. The almighty Kanda Yu had gotten a serious mental problem, and it was some Goddamn syndrome for God's sake! Whatever God that existed must have really hated his guts. And look at what he had done wrong! Nothing, except being extremely sexy! And to those people who had fallen for him (and also been kicked by him right after that), it was totally absolutely completely their faults for being stupid! How could he be the one at fault when he couldn't help being the hottest? He was the victim of his natural beauty here, people. And besides, it was also not his fault for already falling for another one who was equally sexy, if not more.
Of course, come to think of it personally, that person was always one step ahead of him. He was a bit younger yet taller, hotter, cuter, funnier, weirder, smarter, more beautiful in every way and his body shape was one of perfection. Kanda wasn't bothered by that, what bothered him the most was the fact that he didn't mind himself admitting that 'the other person' was better than him at all. In fact, he actually held some kind of respect and admiration towards the other boy, not to mention the times he really had thought the boy was the hottest with his sweetest earth-warming lopsided grin and his brightest gorgeous emerald green eye and especially the most stunning flaming red hair…But what he loved the most was---

Goddamn him for having gone too far!

How that could happen, he had no clue. But it had happened in some way and here he was, cursing himself in every language he'd come to learn in all those years. 'Hottest', 'sweetest', 'gorgeous', 'beautiful', 'perfection', blahblahblah… It was like he had used up all of his 'nice words' in a few minutes just for the sake of that damn idiot! Where had he learned those words anyway? Now his list didn't even have enough space for them anymore, after all his brain wasn't an unlimited box, dammit! He felt like slamming his head against the wall over and over again, he was losing it way too fast, and he didn't know what to do anymore…

And why was he in the dining room again?

SOBA! That's right, he was here to eat soba, no, to find his distraction! And here it was, the best distraction ever! Soba, he needed his soba. Right now only soba could save him from his doom. Soba! Mister Sobaman needed his soba right at that moment!

That was the last thought before he stormed into the room, and straight ahead to Jerry.

"Yo Kanda-kun, it's been a while. How have you bee—oh, not so good, I assume? Soba like usual, isn't it? Alright, there you go!", he said, as cheerful as always.

Well, at least he didn't comment any further. That was a good sign. If things kept going this way, he believe he would get over this obstacle and get some sleep in his dear room very soon. Then he would forget everything that had happened today, and he would go back to the almighty Kanda Yu again. It was good to think positive, wasn't it?

Too bad.

Life never seemed to go on his way. Maybe that was his punishment for sacrificing more than one not-so-innocent people in one evening, or, just being hot. He didn't know.
But it was obviously that he could hear. Not from just one person, but a bunch of people.

"Do you have any idea what he's been up to? It's way too quiet to be considered normal!", a finder said to his friends.

"Lavi-sama, you mean? Your guess is as good as mine, but I do hope this time he won't drag us all into his mess like last time. It was such a terrible disaster", another one sighed in nervousness.

He twitched.

"I still remember the last time he tried to steal some potion of the Head Officer, and I ended up transforming into a flying pig for a whole day! If he came up with something this time, I sure as hell would be the first one to run off.", the Japanese boy could hear a trembling voice from them.

"That was horrible! I saw the Bookman being turned into a real Panda as well. Lavi-sama can be sooo scary if he really wants to…"

The second time. He twitched again. It was coming closer to an end.

"Speaking of which, did you guys hear what happened to a poor finder and our Head Officer with his office? I wonder whether those were some kind of Akuma or his doing as well. After all Lavi-sama had been disappearing for—hey, did you hear some cracking sound?"

Crack. That was the sound of his self-composure coming to the point of totally breaking to shards.

BAAAAAAANG!!!

That was it! No more Mr. Nice guy! No more self-restraint! Screw his composure. Screw his lesson. Screw soba. Screw the Goddamn rule number one, or two, or whatever! Screw the whole Order, and even the whole world! Why the heck should he give a damn! Those idiots had driven him insane, and they were gonna pay for that!

"MUGEN: Kaichu Ichigen!"

That was the last thing they had ever heard before the blue light came crushing down on them. They had asked for it, now they had it. No more nervousness about Lavi and the whole quiet thing, which also had just become a 'no more'. Nobody was injured badly but the surrounding wasn't that lucky. In a minute, the once dining hall was now just chaos with everything was either blown up, or shattered and destroyed completely. Kanda Yu on the other hand just stormed off indifferently as though he had just blown up a fallen leaf, anger never once leaving his cold face. Neither of them dared say a single word.
Yep, that was definitely the third sacrifice of the day.
And now the whole Order knew Kanda Yu was angry.

It was supposed to feel good as usual, but it didn't feel any better. He was still angry. He didn't give a damn about what the people had learned, he didn't give a damn about what he himself had done, he didn't give a damn about anything at all. He had been pushed over the edge, and he could not ignore it anymore. This was all because of Lavi.

SLAP!

He had slapped himself hard for real this time. So what? It all was still Lavi's fault. Because Lavi had given him the damn cake along with the bunny, and the note, and the heart things. Because Lavi had always given him that damn bright grin whenever and wherever they'd met, the grin he didn't know if it was real or not.

SLAP. SLAP. SLAP.

Damn you Lavi.

He was the reason for all of this mess. And those people. Those fucking idiots. They had just had to bring up Lavi wherever he went to, and pushing him deeper and deeper into his sickening and worsening syndrome. No matter how hard he had tried, he still had failed, and would always fail, because the syndrome was still here, in his damn body and head and mind. It was what his heart had been denying all the time, and now the heart must have been angry and decided to strike him back with this damn syndrome.

Touché.

And then the idiots had just had to say those crappy things about Lavi. What the hell had been wrong with them? Lavi was an energetic boy, an annoying rabbit, and sometimes an irritating prankster. He was a mysterious Bookman-in-training, but also a nice person, and the brightest light in the gloomy days at the Black Order to be honest. He always admired Lavi for that, though he would be damned if he ever admitted it. But the things those people had said were really unbearable, especially with his state of mind, and he just couldn't help but get angrier and allow his composure to break just so he could teach them a bloody lesson. He couldn't let they blame Lavi for what he had done himself.
And if there were anyone who should be mad at Lavi and chase him off or even beat him up, it would have to be Kanda Yu.
No one else was allowed to do that but himself. He had made damn sure about that.

Stupid Lavi.

So that was what it had been all about. Lavi, wasn't it? The origin of his bad mood, anger, craziness, sickness, insanity, syndrome. That was what this syndrome was all about. An unnamed syndrome could lead to abnormal characteristic pattern of behaviors and disasters. It actually had, but there wouldn't be any more disaster for today, because now he knew it.
It wasn't just any unnamed syndrome, it was a Lavi Syndrome.

His Lavi Syndrome.

Well, he had come all the way to this conclusion eventually. Now what? It didn't mean he was any less angrier after learning about his sickness though. How in the world he had gotten himself into this kind of syndrome, and of all thing and all people, a Lavi Syndrome, it was still a puzzle. But also it was not like he had any energy left to play another game, or to get any madder.
No, he was tired, too damn tired to even lift his Mugen. After the one-month long damn mission and all those crappy things he had been through in a few hours, he just wanted to get some sleep. Everything could come later. Now that his room was coming into his view, he put all of his thoughts away. He would deal with Lavi and the Lavi things later. Once he was back in his room, his sweet sweet room (screw the list!), he wouldn't have to care about Lavi anymore. And if Lavi wasn't his problem, then nothing else would matter to him. Wasn't it great? He was totally safe, in his room. His home, his heaven. As long as he was in his room, nothing could ever bother him, or drive him crazy, even Lavi.

Awesome.

The cold handle was in his palm now. Once he was in, he would be safe from the cruel world, safe from his Lavi.
He realized he had just dropped the word 'syndrome' somewhere, and somehow, in purpose. But why should he care? He was going back to his 'home sweet home' now. He would think of whether or not Lavi was his later. Or appreciating and even loving the one who had come up with the term 'home sweet home'. Right now there was only one thing on his exhausted mind, to get back to the non-Lavi world that had been waiting for him for too long. The wonderful world that he was the only one existed. Nothing about Lavi could bother him anymore.

He turned the doorknob.

The wonderful non-Lavi silent world of his was finally open. No more noises. No more voices. No more La---

"Hey Yu! What took you so long? I've been waiting for you forever! Okaeri, Yu-chan!"

*Okaeri (nasai): Welcome home.

A/N: Well that was it for now. Did I tell you I'm a cliff-hanger lover? Now you know. Kill me and I swear you will never get to see the next chapter again, muahahahaha XD Its not like I'll be waiting here for you to come and kill me you know, I'm no idiot! And it's not like you'd find out where I live either...so I assume I'm still safe here...

Anyways, I tried to make it as innocent (and crazy) as I could. It'll be sweeter next time, I promise. (says the one who doesn't know how to keep promises)

But, review and I will learn how to keep them! I promise you that I will keep my 'promise' if you review!

However I won't promise to update soon. I still have a lot of my drawing projects.
Maybe the next LaviYu day, meaning next year?

*runs off as fast as she can*

Don't forget to review my friends! The cute green button is waiting!!!

And happy LaviYu Day everyone!

~ Julye