Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

The Marauder's Advice Column

Marauders:

Who are you really?

A Concerned Student

Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that the Marauders are not at liberty to discuss their true identities, and that this is an advice column, not a get students-who-are-trying-to-help in trouble column.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot, and would like to add that such a column does exist, and can be found in the Slimy Slitherns section of the school paper.

Mr. Moony would like to assure the Concerned Student that the Marauders aren't out to humiliate anybody, lest it be Snape.

Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Moony, and wishes for chocolate pudding.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Wormtail's wishing for pudding, and believes Mr. Padfoot should go fetch the Marauders some.

Mr. Padfoot believes Mr. Moony should do the fetching of the chocolate pudding.

Mr. Moony thinks the Marauders should attempt to stay on subject.

Mr. Prongs gets bored when staying on subject.

Mr. Moony doesn't care.

Mr. Wormtail wants chocolate pudding.

Mr. Padfoot wants doughnuts.

Mr. Prongs is observing the twitching in Mr. Moony's eye, and thinks they ought to abandon ship and move to the next question.

Mr. Moon is appalled that he agrees with Mr. Prongs.

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot:

Can somebody really go get some chocolate pudding? I really want some.

Mr. Prongs

Mr. Moony would ask that Mr. Prongs not abuse the Marauder's Advice Column, and that Mr. Prongs get his own pudding if he really wants it that badly.

Mr. Padfoot agrees that Mr. Prongs should get his own pudding, and asks that Mr. Prongs bring him a doughnut or five if he's going to the kitchens.

Mr. Wormtail still wishes for chocolate pudding.

Mr. Prongs would like to remind Mr. Moony that The Marauder's Advice Column was built to be abused, and that the Marauders should stay on the current topic: getting Mr. Prongs chocolate pudding.

Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Prongs that The Marauder's Advice Column is currently being monitored by Professor McGonagall , and that Mr. Prongs does not need chocolate pudding. Mr. Moony would also like to remind Mr. Padfoot that students aren't supposed to know where the kitchens are.

Mr. Padfoot would like Mr. Moony to stop ruining his fun.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot.

Mr. Moony is declaring this the end of the discussion.

Mr. Wormtail didn't know it was a discussion.

Mr. Prongs still wants Mr. Moony to stop ruining their fun.

Marauders:

Is there a magical equivalent of the Muggle DVD player?

Muggleborn 1st year

Mr. Wormtail would like to ask what a DVD player is, what it does, and if there is any chance of getting chocolate pudding in the near future.

Mr. Prongs would also like to ask what a DVD player does, and if there is any hope for chocolate pudding.

Mr. Moony is completely amazed that Mr. Prongs was paying attention in Muggle Studies enough to know what a DVD Player is, and would like for chocolate pudding not to be brought up again. Mr. Moony believes there isn't a magical equivalent of the Muggle DVD player, but one should be made.

Mr. Wormtail is still wondering what a DVD player is.

Mr. Prongs would like to know what a DVD player does.

Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Prongs should pay better attention in Muggle Studies.

Mr. Prongs believes Muggle Studies is a pointless class in which no information is useful.

Mr. Moony knows Mr. Prongs cannot join the MLE unless he passes the Muggle Studies NEWT, and the Muggle Studies would not be a requirement for the MLE unless the knowledge gained would be used.

Mr. Prongs has no comment.

Mr. Wormtail does not like being ignored.

Mr. Moony apologizes for ignoring Mr. Wormtail, and would like to inquire as to Mr. Padfoot's mysterious absence.

Mr. Prongs believes Mr. Padfoot is fetching chocolate pudding and five doughnuts from the kitchens students aren't supposed to know about.

Mr. Padfoot would like to announce the arrival of five doughnuts and chocolate pudding.

Mr. Wormtail wants some of the chocolate pudding.

Disclaimer: I don't own the maurders, though I really wish I did.

Author's note: And htis is where I ran out of inspiration. Any inspiration you can offer would be most welcome. Otherwise this story might not get much farhter than this. So please review, amd maybe with something that I can put in the story. Thanks, and REVIEW.