Red Vest, Green Vest

Genre: Humor/General

Rated: K

Summary: Right before partaking in a game of laser tag, Spock and Bones get into an argument.

A/N: I'm baaaack! Haha. Yes, so I had this really weird dream where Kirk has fallen to the ground, and Spock's going all crazy, holding him close and stuff...only to realise they were playing laser tag!! XD So, I fgured a story was in order. Just so you know; this little one-shot is NOT a rendition of my dream; it's just a comical arguement between Bones and Spock before they actually begin the game. ^_^

Disclaimer: Dang it, Star Trek does NOT belong to me...*sniffle*

"...Spock, you can be on the green team." Bones said, holding out the black vest with the green laser target on it to the Vulcan. Spock looked down at the vest, and then back up. He blinked his dark eyes at the doctor, as if to say "do you practice being that stupid, or does it come naturally?". Then he turned his head to look at Jim, who was too busy putting on his own vest to notice the direction of Spock's gaze.

Spock's face twisted very slightly into a frown, and he turned back to look at Bones, pointedly.

"Jim has a red vest," he said, as if that was supposed to mean something.

Bones just stared at Spock, not comprehending. All of the others were in the process of putting on their vests, and here the Vulcan was, holding them up. Damned hobgoblin.

"So?" said Bones, trying his best to keep the impatience out of his voice. His efforts were wasted, because his voice still came out sounding curt and sharp. Spock raised an eyebrow, and slid his hands behind his back, clasping them together.

"Is not the purpose of this activity to 'shoot' the opponents as many times as possible, in order to obtain points, that would allow the individual who has claimed the most, to win?" Spock inquired.

Bones nodded slowly. "Yes..." he said, as if talking to a child, still not understanding the point of this conversation.

Spock continued on, drawing the curious eyes of Uhura and Scotty, who were both wearing green vest, like Bones.

"And if I were to wear the green vest, that would require I 'shoot' all of those wearing red vests?"

Bones didn't even try to fight his urge of rolling his eyes.

"Yes, Spock. It's good to know you know the rules. How about you put on the damned vest so we can actually begin the game?" he all but hissed. Spock just looked at him coolly.

"I cannot accept that vest." He said firmly.

Bones took a deep breath, in order to keep in his curses that were dying to get out.

"And why not?" he asked between grinded teeth.

"Because Jim has a red vest." he said simply. By now, everyone had crowded around Bones and Spock, each wearing a face betraying their amusement. Jim, however, had gotten his vest straps all tangled up, so he was busy trying to untangle them, oblivious to the "debate" going on between his friend and bondmate.

Bones let out a sigh, and dropped his hand to his side, tired of having to hold it out.

"So what that Jim has a red vest?" Bones said.

"If I were to wear the green vest, I would be required to shoot anyone wearing a red vest."

"We've been over that Spock," Bones grounded out. "That is the purpose of the game; you shoot the opposite color. So what's the freakin' problem?!"

"Jim is wearing a red vest."

Bones palmed his face.

"So...?" he said. He heard a faint giggle, and his eyes cut to Uhura, who had her head resting on Sulu's shoulder as she tried desperately to keep in her laughter. Scotty had a hand over his mouth, and Chekov and Sulu had similar grins on their faces. Jim now had the owner of the shop standing behind him trying to help him untangle his knotted up vest, not paying the least bit of attention to the animosity between the doctor and First Officer.

Bones narrowed his eyes, feeling his blood pressure rising.

Goodness gracious, arguing with Spock was like running in circles; there was no end to it.

"What does Jim wearing a red vest have to do with anything?" he snapped.

"I cannot wear that vest; it would require I shoot Jim." Spock said.

There was complete silence as Bones just stared at Spock.

"Are. You. Serious?" he said.

"Very," Spock looked calmly back at him, and Bones saw that he was, indeed, serious.

Bones cursed.

"Dammit, Spock. This is a game. You would not actually be shooting Jim for real. It won't even hurt him." Bones said.

"Nevertheless, game or no, I will not shoot my bondmate."

"But it's a game Spock. Not. Real. So take the damned green vest." He shoved it out at Spock.

"I cannot; Jim is wearing a red vest." Spock insisted.

Bones just about had a stroke.

"Damn you, Spock. Why can't you just take-"

"Is everything alright here?" came Jim's perplexed voice. Bones and Spock simultaneously turned their eyes to Jim, to see him now in a green vest. At their confused looks, he elaborated.

"The red vest was broken, so it looks like I'm on the green team." he said with a flourish, giving them both a wide smile.

"Well that's too bad, because Spock here won't-" Bones' words were cut off when he felt the vest being pulled out of his hands. He turned to look at Spock, as he gracefully put on the vest.

"Oh, now you're wearing the green vest?!" he all but shouted, beyond ticked off. Jim looked at Bones as if he were going crazy, while everyone else were laughing aloud.

"Yes. Jim is wearing a green vest." Spock said, as if that explained everything.

And, to everyone around him, it made sense.

To Bones, he just wanted to punch a hole through the wall. Damned hobgoblin.

A/N: I don't know why I posted a Bones/Spock argument story...it's just as I stared to typing it...the words started to flow, and I couldn't stop. How did you like it? I hope I got the two in character. I find I have as much joy writing a weird Bones & Spock twisted friendship story, as I do writing a Spock/Kirk romance one. Strange...

A/N2: I have two request stories that I am working on now, but another story is also in the making; this will likely be Full Length (whatever that means)...and features a nonhuman!Kirk. Of course, it's not set in stone and I may not finish it, but rest assured I will be posting more one-shots to fill you awesome people up. :)

P.S.

If you want me to post an additional chapter to this, where they're actually playing the laser tag, let me know in a review or PM me. I only ask this, so you are aware that if I DO post the story, it will change the category from Bones/Spock Humor to Kirk/Spock Romance/Humor. Or, I could just post it as another story, to go sidelong with this one. ;P Let me know what you think! ^_^