"Bella get up, it's the last day of school." my mom said from the doorway in her soft, comforting voice.

Dad, or, as I call him, The A-Hole, wishes I would die, and tells me so daily, all though, what he does at night tells me other wise. But, I've gotten used to it. I don't even scream anymore. I'm past the point of caring, and I pretty much let him, because he'll get his way anyway.

"Okay, Mom. I'll be downstairs when I'm ready.", I waited to hear her shut the door, and then threw the covers off, jumped out of bed, made it up quickly and neatly, making a mental not to myself to wash my sheets to get all of the blood off of them.

I crossed my room, and grabbed some clothes, and stepped into the shower. I washed my waist length, straight black hair, dried it, and applied eyeliner, dark gray eye shadow, and dark red lip gloss, black nail polish, and pulled on black skinny jeans, a pink tank top, and a black long sleeve tight fitting shirt that had four slashes in the front of it, pulled on my black vans, and walked downstairs.

Mom looked at me, but didn't say anything. I'd dressed like this since I was ten years old. Basically, I'd dressed like this for seven years. I only had one more year of high school left thankfully, and then I could leave.

I sat down, ate my waffles in silence, ignoring everything everyone at the table was saying. Once I was finished, I just sat at the table, and waited for Mom to take me to school. Dad was saying how much of a whore I was, and that he wished that I would leave now, instead of waiting a year. I pulled my razor out of my pocket, and sliced each of my arms twice, and put it back away.

*******************************************************************************

Bianca, Alice, and Shay walked up to me. Alice wasn't a student at our school; she was just visiting her Uncle, and cousin, who was Shay.

Bianca and Shay dressed like me, and Alice dressed like a complete girl. Wearing Coco Chanel, Gucci, Armani, and other brand name designers. She wasn't annoying though, and she didn't try to stop us from cutting ourselves, so she was alright.

Alice hugged me so hard that I couldn't breathe.

"This month has gone by way to fast, and I hope that you and Shay will come and visit soon!" I laughed, and nodded.

"Don't worry, we'll come visit as soon as possible, maybe even this summer, what do you say?"

She squealed, and clapped her hands London Tipton Style, and bounced back to her car, waving and honking as she sped out of the parking lot.

I sat in class, barely listening to the teachers talking while I drew a picture of myself, sitting in a forest with a little brook behind me. By the time it was lunch, I had completely finished it.

I showed Bianca and Shay, and they grabbed my notebook, and flipped through the entire thing, ooh'ing, and awing over each one. I rolled my eyes, and snatched it back, saying it wasn't that good, and they didn't need to make such a big deal out of it.

Shay playfully slapped my arm, and said, "If they're not that good, then why do you draw so much, hmm? Could you answer that for me please?"

Rolling my eyes again, I answered "There are a lot of people who like to draw, but completely suck at it, thank you very much. Plus, different people have different opinions, and I am entitled to mine."

"Well then, someone's a bit cranky this morning." Bianca said.

"Yes, but, unlike you two, I have a reason to be cranky. You want to know what they are. My Dad thinks that I'm a whore, hits me all the time, wants me to die, and would screw me if he got the chance, oh, wait. I mean, rapes me every chance he gets. Oh yeah, and half the teachers have tried to screw me as well, so, unless you can come up with something worse than that, don't even talk about how cranky I am, got it, Bianca? Good." I got up, dumped my hardly touched tray of food, and stalked out of the cafeteria, and drove home, not caring that the school would call home and tell Mom that I'd skipped again.

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"Dammit, Bella! Why do you do this? I really don't wanna tell your father, but this has got to stop! This is the twentieth time you've skipped school in the past two months! What do you want to change? Is it something I'm doing?" Mom was standing in my doorway, yelling at me.

"You know what I want to change Mom, but your love for me doesn't stretch that far, and for all I care, go ahead and tell Dad! I mean, whether you tell him or not, I'm still gonna pay for it tonight anyway!" she walked over to me, and slapped me across the face.

"Stop lying! You're so much of a god damn liar; your father doesn't rape you! Why do you hate him so much? All he does is tell you that he doesn't like the way you dress, and, quite frankly, I don't either, it really does make you look like a whore, all that dark make up you wear. I, you know what, I'm asking you're father what he wants to do with you, because I don't have anymore ideas." And she walked out of my room, shaking her head, and slamming the door.

I turned one my iPod, and played Down With the Sickness by Disturbed, I mouthed along with the words, thinking that it was the best song to play at a time like this, when your parents hate you.

Can you feel that?

Ah shit!

ooh ah ah ah ah

ohhh ah ah ah ah

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing,

Broken your servant I kneel

(will you give in to me?)

It seems what's left of my human side is slowly changing in me

(will you give in to me?)

Looking at my own reflection

When suddenly it changes

Violently it changes

There is no turning back now,

you've woken up the demon in me.

[Chorus]

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Open up your hate and let it flow into me.

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness

You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness

Madness is the gift that has been given to me.

I can see inside you the sickness is rising

Don't try to deny what you feel.

(will you give in to me?)

It seems that all that was good has died

and is decaying in me.

(will you give in to me?)

It seems you're having some trouble

In dealing with these changes

Living with these changes.

Oh, no. The world is a scary place

Now that you've woken up the demon in me.

Chorus

And when I dream

And when I dream

And when I dream

And when I dream

No mommy, don't do it again

Don't do it again

I'll be a good boy

I'll be a good boy, I promise

No mommy don't hit me

Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?

Don't do it, you're hurting me

Why did you have to be such a bitch

Why don't you,

Why don't you fuck off and die

Why can't you just fuck off and die

Why can't you just leave here and die

Never stick your hand in my face again bitch

FUCK YOU

I don't need this shit

You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore

How would you like to see how it feels mommy

Here it comes, get ready to die

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

Open up your hate and let it flow into me.

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness

You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness

Madness has now come over me!

When I turned off my iPod, I went in to my bathroom, and dried the dried tears off my face, and dried blood off of my arms.