Disclaimer: Hell, I don't even own the plot of this thing. (see author's note)
A/N: Basically, in a Fanfiction Remix, you take someone's story and you remix it. (No kidding.) I'm sure you'll be able to find a more detailed description on wikipedia or something. This is a remix of Duchessa of Bellezza's fanfiction 'I Do'. The remix was organised by the Livejournal community 'Chips_Remixed'. Basically, I have read Duchessa of Bellezza's story, taken it apart, added bits, taken bits away, hit it with a hammer a few times, and ended up with this.
It's an alternate ending to Journey's End, in the form of Doctor/Rose separation. But it was originally written before series four aired, so there is no dupe!Doctor. You don't need to know the storyline, but the original's good, so read it anyway. The italic names represent POVs. It's very angsty. Enjoy. ^_^
I Do (The Last Goodbye Remix)
The four travellers reached the room panting, clutching at their sides for air. There could only be minutes remaining, and there was still so much left to say…
The door swung shut behind them as Donna bounded in from the corridor, and they all seemed to droop, leaning over to steady themselves. Rose ran up to the wall reluctantly, with desperation and devastation written upon her face, and the Doctor followed her up, his eyes widened with fear. Martha rested her hands on her knees and breathed in deeply - why had the elevator not taken them up this far? Donna, at her side, was leaning back against the wall, her chest heaving as she tried to steady her breath.
- - - - - - -
Martha
It has always been her. I've always known it. Right from the very beginning; I always knew that I was nothing, nothing compared to his precious Rose. It bit into me whenever I saw it: whenever he had walked away from me frowning, whenever he'd avoided my glance, whenever I'd gazed into those broken brown eyes and seen his pain. But I had never given up, and I felt an almost guilt at the thought.
Seeing them now, though, it's something completely different. I can feel his pain, see his anguish; I think that if I could tear the world apart to keep them together, I would do so freely. I have Tom now, and my days of longing for the Doctor are over. It isn't my love for him that lets me feel his pain, but our friendship. I know what she means to him. And I can't bear to see him so broken once again.
They talk, but I can't hear the words above my own breath. As I stand up, stretch my back and glance over at Donna by my side, I see a tear slide down Rose's face. It's over. The Breach is about to pull her back. They have no time…
- - - - - - -
Donna
They are perfect together. I can see it, and through all of Martha's prior jealousy, I'm sure she agrees. But what are they doing, just stood there, chatting? If I had any breath, I would yell at them, make them get their act together. But it can't be helped. They'll say goodbye in the way that suits them; I can only hope they'll get to finish it this time.
I close my eyes in a silent plea for Rose and the Doctor. Just what I want for them, I don't quite know. But whatever's possible, I would give it to them in an instant - if only I could. I catch a small portion of the conversation and gather my breath to interject…
- - - - - - -
The Doctor
Where has all the time gone? How have I wasted it away over all these years? And now, with only minutes left, seconds even, how is my mind so blank?
'I'm so glad I found you,' I seem to be saying, my mouth speaking separately from my heart. I know what I want to say, so why can't I say it?
'Me too,' she replies, and I knew that she wants more. She needs to hear it, and for the life of me, I want to give it to her.
Sure enough, Rose steps forwards nervously and bites her lip. 'Doctor, before I go…' she begins, 'I have to know - Back on that beach…'
'- When we ran out of time!' I blunder with a forced smile, avoiding the intended question purposefully, 'Imagine that, a Timelord, and I ran -'
'Doctor, just bleedin' well say it, would'ya? You've got no time!' Donna bellows from behind me, panting. I sigh and look down at my feet.
'But… were you - I mean, do you…?' She leaves the question hanging - as if she needs to finish it - and I feel my heart drop into my stomach. How can I say it now, when I'm about to loose her forever? But how can I not? It is so true, we both know it is, but as for actually saying it out loud… and when it hasn't been said for so long… I'm not even sure that I can.
'I do.' I settle for, looking back up at her with shining eyes.
- - - - - - -
Rose
It's too late. Time's up. Even as I walk forwards to the Doctor, I can feel the pull on me, drawing me backwards towards the Breach. I smile, content with the Doctor's admission. Even if he never says the actual words, it's good enough for me. I touch a hand to his cheek softly, trying my hardest never to forget the way his skin feels, the way his eyes shine in the light, the way he smiles so freely and speaks so caringly. His face, his hearts, everything about him that I love, that I never want to loose, and yet here we are.
This won't be the same as the last time. He finished his sentence - well, in a way - and this time it is not unexpected. We both know what's coming. I smile wider as tears began to fall steadily down my cheeks, leaving watery tracks in my foundation. Everything becomes blurry, seen through bitter, salted tears. I don't care. I don't care about anything except the Doctor.
'I do too,' I reply firmly, my voice braking. I blink furiously, determined to see his face clearly one last time, before I'm pulled away forever.
He smiles back weakly, and rests his hand on my own cheek. It's cold, and yet in a way, it's the warmth and strength I need to walk away.
I walk back slowly, letting my hand fall to my side, and the Doctor's falls away too. I take one step back and the world seems to fall on my shoulders. I want nothing more than to run up to him, wrap my arms around him, and take him back with me. But it doesn't work like that. The Universe is cruel.
Another step, and I feel myself fading gradually into white. The Doctor and I stare on, our eyes locked together defiantly, determined to make the most of the precious few seconds that remain. His watering brown eyes are colder and more despondent than ever, and my own, I can feel, are shallow and lifeless, but full to the brim with soon-to-be flooding tears.
Another step back and he smiles. Not a happy smile, but a smile of anguish - forced, in reassurance. I smile a watery smile back at him, drinking in every detail - his hair, his face, his neck, his suit, his hands, his shoes…
Pressure builds up and bears down upon me, my hair whips up around my face, a sudden cold breeze, and then nothing. A wall, pure white, stands in front of me. I am back. I am "home". That's what They would say. But my home is a long way away now. If I press my ear up against the wall, I can feel it. Like he's stood right here, exactly where I am, in a different World, thinking the exact same thoughts. The tears start to flood, silent, and no one tries to stop them. They will flow forever in my heart.
- - - - - - -
The Doctor walks up to the wall and reaches a hand out. He brushes against the white wall and touches the side of his face against the cool, hard barrier.
'Rose…' he whispers, his lips caressing the name one last time. He forces himself to step back, gives a heaving sigh, and swallows hard, staring at the expanse of white before him.
He is vaguely aware of Donna and Martha behind him, but they don't seem to matter anymore. He takes another step back and turns around, and finds himself facing their awkward faces. His vision blurs with one last tear, which drops hastily down his cheek, alone.
A weak smile flits across his face, and his companions smile back sympathetically. In many ways, he's lucky. He's met a wonderful woman, and he's fallen in love - even if he did go for so long without admitting it. He even got to see her again, and give her the goodbye she deserves.
And now, she knew. Oh, she knew.
A/N: Aww... But yays for Doctor/Rose!
Now, this is a complete opposite to what I usually write, which is largely renunion!Fic, so let me know if I screwed it up.