Librarian Park 3
(What happened to 1 and 2?)
by: Anna Skywalker (co-written by Jake Sweeney)
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Jurassic Park 3, or librarians, so don't sue me!!! if you do, you will receive: a coat hanger, a few candy wrappers, five dollars, and a hard kick in the stomach, so there!!
Author's notes: this is kind of a crossover/parody of scenes from Jurassic Park 3(with librarians and Gundam Wing characters thrown in), so if you haven't seen JP3, you will not find this story humorous. Heero will take the place of Dr. Grant, and Duo takes the place of his assistant, Billy. The other JP3 characters don't exist, and in their place are Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre.
Warnings: non-yaoi/yuri and Duo and Heero are kind of out of character because I had them take the place of characters from Jurassic Park
now, on with the fic!!
The Scene During The Dinosaur Dig:
Hilde was sitting on the ground dusting at the fossilized skeleton of a librarian.
"c'mere Duo, I don't think I'm doing this right"
Duo walked over and sat down beside her.
"I can never tell the difference between the bone and rock" she said
"Well the rock is rough, but the bone is smooth, see?" he said running a finger over the bone
Heero walked over to see how far they'd gotten on the skeleton.
"Hey Heero, come look at this" said Duo, getting up and walking toward a tent.
~inside the tent~
Duo and Heero stood in front of a large machine.
"See, it can analyze the skeleton and make this" said Duo, holding up a small, white object. He raised it to his lips and blew into it, and a loud "SILENCE, THIS IS A LIBRARY!!" came out.
Heero nodded "yes, that's a librarian call alright." He shook his head "too bad it's just a few years to late" he muttered to himself, thinking of his visit to Librarian Park some years ago.
The Scene Right After The Plane Crash:
Everyone gets to their feet rubbing their heads and groaning,
"Is everyone okay?" asked Quatre
"Yeah, I think so" said Heero
Duo stood up and slowly backed away from the front of the plane and pointed "uh…guys? you'd better look at this"
Everyone turned toward the front and saw a bunch of librarians came running towards them along the thick branches of the tree that the plane had come to rest in, waving overdue notices and screaming. They all hit the plane at once, causing it to lurch to the side. Everyone ran to the back of the plane, and the librarians rammed into it again, causing the plane to fall out of the tree. The boys hurried out of the plane and escaped the librarians.
"Now that's something you don't see every day" muttered Duo as the group ran from the plane.
The Scene Where They Find The Raptor Eggs:
Heero lead the group to a small clearing near a river. They looked around in awe.
"Wow…" said Quatre.
Heero knelt near a bookshelf and examined it closely. "Just as I thought….Library books." He said nodding.
"Let's get out of here before the librarians come back" said Trowa
"Yeah" agreed Wufei nodding
As the group started from the clearing, Duo hung back and looked at the book shelves. Snatching two of the books, he ran to catch up to the others.
The Scene Inside The Compound, Where The Raptor Attacks:
The group wandered through the compound, looking at all the machinery. Trowa walked over to a large incubator. "This is how you make librarians?" he asked
Heero looked at him "No, This is how you play the Principal" he replied
Quatre wandered past huge glass containers filled with green fluid and strange creatures and came to a stop at one that appeared to contain a Librarian head. He stared at hard, trying to see if it was alive. Suddenly, the librarian's eye focused on him and it screamed "LATE FEES!!" and started to chase him. Quatre cried out, and ran toward the others who saw him running from the librarian and started running too.
"This way!!!" shouted Heero, heading for some metal cages. They all got inside of one and held the door as the librarian pushed against it screaming. They managed finally to trap the librarian between the door and the wall and escape. It started screaming a pattern of short, sharp screams. Heero turned and looked at the trapped librarian in shock.
"It's calling for help!" he exclaimed
"Don't you mean "calling for 'assistance'?" snickered Duo "it is a librarian, after all"
"Come on!!!!" shouted Wufei, and the group ran out of the compound.
The Scene Where Dr. Grant Finds The Raptor Eggs Inside Billy's Bag:
The boys were in the top story of a building, taking refuge from a recent librarian attack. Duo walked over to Heero
"Hey, you found my bag!" he said happily
"Yeah" said Heero "no problem"
"uh, here I'll take it" said Duo nervously
"No, It's fine, I've got it" said Heero
"Heero," said Duo "give me the bag"
Heero looked at him suspiciously and opened the bag. Inside were the two library books Duo had stolen earlier. "Overdue library books, this explains a lot" he said, glaring at Duo.
"That's why those things were chasing us!!!" said Trowa looking angrily at Duo
Duo looked down at his feet. "I thought I could sell them for lots of money-enough to buy a brand-new thermal energy weapon for Deathsycthe! I know it was stupid, but I did it with the best intentions"
Heero glared at him "with the best intentions?" he growled "some of the worst things in the world have been done 'with the best intentions'!! As far as I'm concerned, you're no better than the people who built the library!!!"
And with that he walked over to the window and held out the bag, ready to drop it, when a thought crossed his mind. Slowly he withdrew the bag from the window.
"What?!!" exclaimed Wufei "the librarians are after us because of those things!! what if they catch us with them?!"
Heero turned and looked at him "What if they catch us without them?" he asked, shouldering the bag. "Come on, let's go"
The Scene Where The Spinosaurus Is Attacking The Boat:
The group minus Duo, who was eaten by ptaranadon-librarians, is on a boat being drowned by a large librarian with a fake fin tied to her back and fake flippers on her hands and feet.
"Get the cell phone!!" yelled Trowa and Heero made a grab for it, but missed. The boat was pushed the other direction and the phone came sliding back.
"There it is, Heero!! grab it!!" shouted Quatre. This time Heero caught it. He dialed Relena's number and Pagen picked it up.
"Hello?"
"PAGEN?!! HELLO?!! GIVE THE PHONE TO RELENA!!" shouted Heero
Pagen, who was hard of hearing anyway, couldn't hear Heero over the noise being made by the librarian
"Excuse me? I can't hear you. Speak up"
"GIVE THE DAMN PHONE TO RELENA, NOW!!!!" shouted Heero, who was half drowned.
"Give the what to who?" asked Pagen, now very confused.
"PHONE!! TO RELENA!!!! THAT'S SPELLED R-E-L-E-N-A!!! GOT IT?!!"
"ohhhh" said Pagen, "just a moment" He quickly gave the phone to Relena
"Hello?" she said
"RELENA!! WE'RE IN LIBRARIAN PARK!! WE NEED YOU TO SEND TH……." the phone went dead as Heero and the others went under water.
"Heero? HEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOO!!!"
After being under water for about 3 minutes straight, Wufei managed to get free of the boat and swim away. He swam over to a large construction crane and climbed to the top.
"HEY!!" he shouted trying to get the attention of the librarian
"HEY, YOU STUPID ONNA, OVER HERE!!!" he shouted again, waving his arms. The librarian finally noticed him and walked over and stared to tip it over.
While the librarian was distracted, the others managed to escape the boat. The librarian was still ramming into the crane trying to knock Wufei into the water. Wufei was knocked off the crane and held on to it by one hand. The librarian roared and was about to knock him off, but Wufei kicked it in the face. The librarian screamed in anger and finally, Wufei jumped off and landed in the river. Then swam to shore and joined the others.
The Scene Where The Raptors Trap Dr. Grant's Group And They Give Them The Eggs:
The Gundam pilots find themselves trapped by librarians. Everyone knelt down on the ground, and didn't look the librarians in the eye. A large female librarian walked up to Quatre and started sniffing around him.
"She thinks you have the overdue books, Quatre" said Trowa quietly.
"Okay...hand them to me then" whispered Quatre
Heero opened Duo's bag and saw the overdue books and the librarian call that Duo had made. He took it out and slowly pushed the bag over to Quatre. He slowly took out the books and pushed them towards the librarian.
Heero put the librarian call to his lips and blew. A loud "OVERDUE, OVERDUE" came out. The librarians gave him a funny look.
"Call for help" whispered Wufei
Heero nodded and blew into the call again--this time making the short bursts of scream.
The librarians looked around, confused. Then one librarian stepped forward and picked up the books, and they all ran to answer the call.
The Ending Scene:
They had finally reached the coast, when half a dozen Leo mobile suits landed along with several shuttles.
"wow" said Quatre "you'll defiantly have to thank Relena when we get back!!"
Heero got on board one of the shuttles to find Duo laying on a stretcher, all bandaged up.
"Hiya Heero!!" he said happily.
"Hnn… I suppose you weren't eaten by pteranadon-librarians after all?"
"Nope!!" said Duo, cheerful as ever.
As they were flying, they could see a flock of pteranadon-librarians flying slightly in front of them.
"Where do you think they're going?" asked Trowa
"I think they're looking for a new library" replied Heero
THE END
did you like it?!! was it just too weird? I crave feedback!!! I know this fic was REALLY strange. I have no idea what possessed me to write it. please R&R!! even if it's only a few words!! but if you flame me, please make a point, don't just write "it sucked" in all caps. tell me why it sucked. please.
Heero: Omae o korosu, that was the stupidest thing ever
Duo: Yeah!! how come I got eaten? why not Quatre or somebody?
Quatre: Hey!!
Heero: you didn't get eaten, Duo, remember?
Duo:….oh yeah…heh heh…just kidding
Me: well, stop complaining, or I'll make you do 10 more of them
Wufei: I'd like to see you try, onna
Trowa:….actually…I liked it
Everyone: o.0
Me: well, if I get enough reviews, I will write more….if I have any ideas, that is.