Okay, so sorry I haven't updated in so long, but my parents dragged me to my grandparent's, which was shit boring, so it isn't exactly my fault...

By the way, I know on my other story, I said I would update a couple days ago, but I couldn't since I had a 104 degree fever.
It wasn't nice.

I'm still really sick, so you can see how nice I am, actually getting up from my warm soft bed to actually submit this. So, here's a new chapter. I know a lot of people have been asking where the first version is, to everybody: I DELETED IT.
And it was like half a year ago, so there's no chance of ever reading it, sorry guys.

Ok, this is the next chapter. Enjoy.

Please review and show me some love. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter Three

Nothing That Matters

Slowly, I stuck the key gently in the key hole, jumping slightly when there was a loud 'click'.

I wrapped my hand around the golden doorknob, and twisted it, until I felt it unlock.

Lightly, I pushed open the door.

A gorgeous, curvy blonde was lying on the bed flat on her stomach. Her bare arms were a gentle golden tan, matching her shiny honey hair, which wavered down to the small of her back. Every feature on her face was sharp and flawless, I realized, the usual despair whirling in the pit of my stomach.

She was beautiful.

She glanced up with her striking blue eyes, her lips pulling into a friendly smile.

"Hey! You must be the new girl!" Standing up, she towered a couple inches over me. She held out a hand, her expression still kind. "I'm Rosalie Hale, but you can call me Rose."

Biting my lip, I timidly exchanged the gesture. "Isabella." Too nervous to cross formalities. I wasn't good at making friends.

I studied the room briefly. The size was actually rather big, and was curved into a creative circular shape, the floor coated with a thick red carpet. The light beige walls were plastered with an array of posters, and pretty gold lights hung from the flawless white ceiling. Another wooden door led to the closet, which I could guess easily from the numerous clothing racks scattered on the ground.

Three beds were lined up in a row on the left, and two of them I could easily tell had been occupied, from the obvious array of belongings scattered on them. A slightly familiar luggage lay next to the bed in the middle.

Rosalie followed my gaze to the beds, and her smile widened. "Oh, you can take the bed next the wall, if you don't mind, since Alice and I took the others - Alice, is my best friend, by the way, she also rooms here. She's out now, since she just came back from Arizona, which is why you see her suitcase and everything."

My eyebrows shot up with recognition as I matched her words together, and I could feel a spark of hope flash in my mind. "Arizona?"

Rose nodded, knitting her eyebrows in confusion. "You know her?"

"I think...Alice Cullen? D-Does she have short black hair, and is about...this height?" I cautiously raised my hand to about my chin, and looked at Rose, the confirmation in her eyes growing.

Her stunning blue eyes lit up, and her face brightened considerably. "You do know her! Wait..." She blinked a couple times, and then nodded, grinning. "Oh, I think I know, Isabella. You're the Bella Swan from the plane, aren't you?!?"

From the mention of Alice, I smiled slightly, and nodded. "Y-Yeah, that would be me. I didn't know you two came to this school." Despite the un-confidence in my voice, the surprise was easily evident in my voice.

Rosalie gently laid a hand on my arm, her eyebrows only knitting a fraction when I flinched. She pulled me to the bed, and chuckled slightly. "I know, and I'm pretty surprised you'd show up here as well. She said that one-hour flight was not enough time to talk to you, and ask where you were going to. I can guess she never stopped talking?"

By the smile itching its way onto my lips, Rose took it as a 'yes'.

She laughed again, a twinkly sound of chimes and bells. "That's Alice alright. She'll be ecstatic that you're rooming with us! It's really too much a coincidence. First she tells us about a gorgeous stranger that she met on the plane – whom she absolutely adores by the way – and you actually appear on our doorstep! It's fucking amazing!!"

I jumped slightly, but I wallowed briefly in the shot of pleasure that ran up my spine.

Alice actually liked me. I smiled gently at the memory of the relentlessly joyous black-haired girl.

A strange, unfamiliar feeling of warmth washed through my chest.

Rosalie spoke again, luckily, before I could come up with something to say. "So, tell me about you! Alice filled me in so much, I've deafened a little, so I want to hear a little something from you."

My smile grew, and my mood elevated at the further mention of Alice. Her relentless optimism was contagious, and it was no wonder her best friend Rose was so similar.

"You can..." Hesitating slightly, I waved her forward with my hand, "Ask what y-you want..."

Bouncing the bed a little, Rose tilted her head to one side. "So, where are you from? I know I'm going through the basics, but I'd rather start from scratch. That's how I like to get to know someone."

She waited expectantly for an answer, and I swallowed heavily at the repetition of questioning, just like earlier today. It was like an interview all over again.

"Phoenix, Arizona." Choking out an uncomfortable laugh, I added, "That's why I was on the same plane with Alice. From Arizona."

Laughing gently again, she ignored the awkwardness in my voice, and thought for a moment, and then continued to ask.

"So, who are your parents? What do they do?"

Freezing, I stared immobilized at the floor. Panic flashed in my head, and I struggled to control my heartbeat that was threatening to quicken. Clenching my fist, my mind fumbled through excuses.

"Bella?"

"Y-Yes?!" My eyes widened on impulse, and I nervously straightened up, forcing a small smile hoping to mask my previous glitch.

She shrugged away my awkward reaction, the casual smile still glowing from her face. "I asked you 'bout your parents. Anything interesting about them?"

Flinching slightly, I looked away, struggling to hold a confident mask, but I could feel my lips already beginning to twitch with panic.

Rose tilted her head, and I could see the evident confusion flaring in her eyes. Though she waited patiently for my reaction, her expression was calculating, as if she was trying to decipher something in her head.

Turning back, I forced the words out of my mouth. "M-My parents are divorced. I live with my...mother, in Arizona. She recently, um, r-remarried."

My hand jumped slightly as a wave of memories rapidly twisted through my mind, though I was more prepared this time, and forced them out of my head, before it could attack me again.

I held my breath, so it wouldn't quicken in panic by mistake.

Rosalie studied my expression, but then nodded sympathetically. "Jackass stepfather?" Misjudging my expression, she patted my shoulder gently.

Of course she wouldn't guess.

A shiver ran down my spine, and I quickly retracted my hand from her grasp. The muscles in my arms tensed, and I could feel sweat beginning to pool at the base of my palm.

When I looked up again, Rosalie was watching me with unfathomable curiosity, though her eyes were guarded, raking my expression up and down with her piercing blue eyes.

"I-I'm sorry," Apologizing meekly, I blurted the first words that clashed into my head. "H-He's not a nice...man."

Nodding vigorously, she chuckled. "Oh, that's pretty typical with nearly all men." She joked easily, the kindness reappearing naturally on her face. "It's okay; I can tell you hate these questions."

Her tone proved that her words were more a statement rather than a question. I could tell that she was teasing, but there was a curiosity radiating from her aspect of her voice.

Shifting uncomfortably under the pressure of her gaze, I looked down. "A...A little bit. Sorry."

She laughed again, her optimism never wavering just like Alice. "Don't apologize. I can get to learn about you at your pace, I don't really mind." She tilted her hand, so she could see the red leather watch clasped on her wrist. "If I'm not mistaken, Alice should be home, like..." I jumped as the door bell suddenly interrupted her mental countdown. Rosalie didn't notice, instead turning excitedly to the door. "Now!"

Standing up, she gestured for me to follow. A mischievous smile bloomed on her perfect face, as she raised a single finger to her lips.

"Rose?" Alice's familiar voice called through from behind the wooden door.

There was silence, as Rose giggled quietly. I waited in an awkward silence, not feeling that I really fit in with the cheerful girly scenario.

"ROSE?!" Alice yelled louder, rapping her knuckles against the door.

A smile on her face, Rose leaned against the wall to the right of the door. She pretended to sigh, deafened to Alice's voice, gazing out the balcony, not before sending a wink in my direction.

"ROSALIE LILLIAN HALE! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE SINCE EMMETT JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH YOU!!!"

Finally letting a joyous laughter escape her full lips, Rosalie swung the door upon, and enveloped the little Alice in a hug. "Alice, you will never fucking guess who is rooming with us!!"

I stood silently behind the open door, smiling slightly as I recognized what Rose was pulling off.

I could hear Alice sigh. "Are you pulling another celebrity joke, Rose? I still remember your other ones pretty clearly, and I will not fall for this one."

Rose chuckled, and she walked from out the door into my line of sight. She winked again, and pulled Alice further in, so her back was to me.

Alice took in a deep breath, about to speak, but then her gaze landed on my duffle bag, resting upon the spare bed. "Hey..."

Rosalie bounced on the spot. "Familiar?"

"I know that bag..." Alice whispered, and I could hear her natural smile creeping into her voice. "I saw it today..." Ripping her gaze from the back, she turned quickly around, her eyes searching the room frantically.

Finally, she her gaze landed on me. "Bella?!?" Her eyes were wide with disbelief, though her lips then pulled into an elated grin. "Bella!!!" Her words were no longer a question, confirming that I was really here.

A natural smile grew on my face, and I gave a shy wave. "Hi, Alice."

She took a few steps towards me, then reaching out and wrapping me in a tight, genuine hug. "I never actually thought I would see you again! I'm can't believe this! You're actually rooming with me!"

Trying not to react as I usually did from a person's touch; I timidly reached out and patted her on the back. "Y-Yeah, I am. It's nice to see you too, Alice."

She loosened her grip and leaned back, grinning. "Honestly, if I'd known you were coming to this school, I'd have invited you to ride home with me. I'm sure Edward wouldn't have minded."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "A hot girl hitching a ride in his car. Edward would never mind."

Alice chuckled in response, but I shifted uncomfortably under her words.

The name Edward irritated me more and more by the second. Maybe even scared me little too inside.

"So, do you have any plans for today?" Alice took a few steps backwards and collapsed onto my bed, looking at both Rose and me expectantly. "What do you think, Rose? Give Bella a little tour of the famous Southern California Boarding High?"

Rosalie grabbed Alice's hand, and raised an eyebrow, her face bright with enthusiasm. "Alice, we're going to the mall today, remember? Just bring Bella! A shopping trip there can last the day. Plus, the mall is easily worth it."

Alice's face brightened, and she looked at me inquisitively. "Do you mind, Bella? I mean, the mall is absolutely huge. Glamorous, elegant, and nearly every hot shop you would ever know of."

Her enthusiasm ticked at me self-esteem a little, and I twitched in reaction. "The mall?"

Rose joined in. "Yeah, its right outside campus and it has everything you can ever dream of."

Two beautiful, kind, people persuading me to go shopping with them. I could feel my willpower crumble slightly.

Nervously, I bit my lip. "I-I don't shop. I mean, I have no taste."

Alice giggled. "Rose, didn't I tell her it's too easy to love her? Bella, you're amazingly gorgeous, and we're so willing to buy some outfits for you." Rose nodded in agreement.

"No!" I raised a hand in protest. "No, no, I can't let you pay for me, guys. Honestly, I can stay here. You guys enjoy yourself shopping. I'll just ruin all your fun."

Rose sighed. "Bella, I wouldn't believe the last thing you said for the world, and neither of us gives a shit about money. It's not us you mind, right?" Though she spoke the last sentence teasingly, her eyes flashed in curiosity.

I shook my head frantically. "No, of course not!"

Rose raised a quizzical eyebrow, though an amused smile was still glowing on her face.

"I..." I was terrified of offending them, despite how nice they were to me. It's just...I had never exactly been on a shopping trip before.

"I-I really am not a shopping person. It's not that I don't like you two, honestly."

Amused, Alice shook her head. "Oh, come on, Bella. Just come along!" She pursed her lips in despair, and her eyebrows pulled upwards.

It was a heartbreaking expression, and I could see Rose shake her head in amusement.

"That fucked-up puppy-dog expression. I'd usually tell you not to fall for it, but, Bella, I kind of want you to join us and hit the mall. Honestly, I hope you don't mind."

Worriedly, I shook my head. "F-Fine, I'll go. It's not you guys, it honestly is me. I'm just not a shopper." Smiling meekly, I looked at the floor.

Rose and Alice laughed in unison, Alice patting my hand affectionately. "Don't worry, Bella, you have any problems, you come to us. We're your friends now."

I looked up, and saw Rose nodding vigorously to Alice's words. "What she said," She added, pointing to Alice to prove her agreement.

Bliss and happiness shot up my chest, and I felt a heavy relief throb in my chest. I actually had friends here.

The feeling was so strange.

It made me smile.

---

Rose burst into hysterics as Alice finished the last verse of the song, which she had completed through opera. Soprano, specifically.

"Oh my god, Alice," Rose gasped, tears of laughter streaming down her face. "Could you get any worse?"

Alice smirked, slapping Rosalie playfully on the shoulder. "If you want to hear anything worse, then I suggest you sing for us, Rosalie." She retorted teasingly.

Rosalie raised a middle finger at the rearview mirror, but then turned her attention back to the road. "Watch your mouth, pixie, I'm driving. One step out of line, I'll ram you into a tree or something."

Alice pretended to gasp in horror, and the two of them burst into laughter. I chuckled hesitantly on the side.

They were so close, so at ease, so happy together, it actually hurt.

I hadn't had a best friend, nor simply a friend. Ever.

Pain began to burn in my chest, and the illusion of jealousy slowly built in my mind.

But, no.

That wasn't right.

I shouldn't be jealous of them. They hadn't done anything to me. They simple lived a life I had always dreamed of, from the moment I was able to recognize what my life had become.

Fuck.

I watched affectionately as the two of them bickered over some dress Alice bought last week. The bond between them was so close, so sweet, and I had never touched anything of the liking before.

I wished for it though.

I wished for it so much, so badly, so willingly, that it hurt. Excruciatingly. More than any physical blow that I could ever receive.

It wasn't like I deserved it though.

I was what Renee had made me.

What her words had sculpted me into.

"Right, Bella?" Alice asked, that genuine beautiful smile still glowing on her face.

"What?" I shook the thoughts frantically out of my head, and try to jump back into whatever topic they had began to converse over now.

"Just because I'm short, does not mean I lack brain size."

Rosalie burst into laughter again. "I didn't say that! I just said you were stupid! I didn't say that concerned you being short!"

Crossing her arms, Alice huffed in anger. "Well, you say it about me enough, so why shouldn't either topic relate? Huh, Rose, huh?" She countered.

Rose just laughed, shaking her head in false despair. She turned to me and winked. "Bella, you're obviously over five feet, aren't you?"

Nodding slowly, a smile growing timidly on my face, I answered. "Y-Yeah." I wasn't exactly sure where she was leading me.

Shooting a pointed glance at Alice, she nodded seriously at me. "Then you can laugh."

---

We had arrived at The Mall. Alice had repeatedly instructed me to talk about it with intentional emphasis. It wasn't the mall. It was...The Mall.

It wasn't until I saw it that I understood. A bit.

It wasn't like anything I had seen in Arizona.

And it wasn't simply the beautiful glass structure, looped in a circular design, which caught my breath. Adding on to that, was the way it reflected against the sun, each carved glass piece adding it's own rainbow light to the display, and the giant water fountain glimmered along, every drop sparkling at its own accord.

As if that wasn't enough.

I stepped in, Alice and Rosalie pulling me in with blatant enthusiasm glowing from each of their faces. A cool blast of air hit me as soon as I passed the doorway, and I shivered on instinct.

The mall flawlessly suited the exterior as it did inside. The roof was designed completely from glass, and the sun gleamed down to the ground, reflecting brightly against the marble floor. Famous brands; Prada, Burberry, Dolce & Cabana, flashed from every direction I could see.

Escalators curved up and down the mall, coordinating amazingly with the circular design of the mall itself. And another fountain was set in the center of it all, decorated beautifully with classic Greek designs.

My eyes widened in awe, and I dropped Alice's hand in admiration.

"So...?" Alice turned to me expectantly, pleased by my reaction already. "What do you think?"

"It's amazing." I breathed, my voice coated with disbelief. My eyes raked over every single detail I could spot. Usually I wasn't entranced by some stupid mall, but this one was different. It held some sort of...irresistible elegance, to it.

Everything in California was bound to be different, I reminded myself, my 'voice' hinted with intuition.

"Rose, Rose, Rose!! I completely forgot when Bella arrived. It's October, which means..." Alice gasped, interrupting the thoughts flowing rapidly in my head.

Rosalie's face lit up noticeably. "Oh! Summer sale!! Perfect, Bella, you came at the right time."

It wasn't up to me, my mind countered back instantly.

It was up to Renee.

Renee.

Her.

I closed my eyes, trying to push the sudden jump of pain out of my chest. My hand wrapped around my chest unconsciously, and I could feel a sharp fear shoot up my spine.

A tremor racked through my body.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes to two very concerned faces. Rose had one arm around me, and Alice held my right hand tightly.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Unlike Alice's more gentle coaxing voice, Rose held some authority in her tone. I flinched automatically, and lightly shook both their grasps off.

"It's nothing. It was just a little…chilly." By both their faces, I could tell neither of them were convinced by my words. Inhaling, I forced a shaky smile on my face, trying to reassure them.

"Nothing that matters."

---

"So, if it was originally 125 dollars, and at 60 percent off, that means I saved 75 whole dollars!! Is that right?" Her eyes were wide with fear as she turned to Rose and me for reassurance.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, smiling in amusement. "Bella, you see, Alice actually sucks at math at school, but when it comes to shopping, there is no sale she cannot work out. It honestly blows your mind."

Alice stuck her tongue at Rosalie, but grinned anyway.

"Plus, Alice," Rose added, "If you look at all that you're holding, I don't think you saved any money."

Raising an eyebrow, Alice shot a glance downwards. Her tiny hands grasped the straps of around twenty or more bags, but she herself seemed unaffected by the weight.

"And adding to that, of course, are the bags me and Bella are holding for you." Rosalie tilted her head pointedly at the shopping bags that the both of us held as well.

"Hey, half of the stuff you are holding is yours, Rose!" Alice scowled, then adding an apologetic, "Sorry, though, for you, Bella."

"It's alright," I reassured her, and her face brightened again.

Rosalie, on the other hand, rolled her eyes. "You're too nice, Bella." To Alice, she accused, "The other half would be yours, wouldn't it?"

Alice sighed heavily, then pouted in defeat. Rose and I chuckled affectionately in unison.

"Well, it's not that bad." Alice chided, mostly to herself, "I thought it was worse last time. And since these were mostly on sale, think of these more of an...investment."

Rose laughed. "If you take that as a good thing, then yes, good job, Alice Mary Cullen." She congratulated sarcastically.

I smiled in genuine humor as Alice's face lit up.

Inside, I could feel my insides twist, but not as they usually did.

Not in the way that made me gasp for breath, and clutch my chest as if the delicate heart inside would shatter.

It was something...positive.

I had never felt so...happy before.

This...contentment that radiated in my chest was so pleasing, and I really liked it.

"Honestly, Rose, my allowance isn't your problem. I'm can keep track if I want to." Alice made a face, shaking her head at the tall blonde.

Laughing, Rosalie added on teasingly, "Your mother loves you too much for your own good."

I froze.

All the contentment that warmed in my chest vanished instantly on the spot.

Her mother loved her.

Did mine?

Of course not.

There was no sense in even asking.

Her eyes never even flashed with the words of affection, nor were they spoken with her lips.

She hated me. With every single will in her self control, she loathed me.

It was stupid to even think of Renee even uttering the words I love you to me.

Impossible.

It felt as if my heart clenched, and pain convulsed in my chest.

Renee's voice echoed fiercely in my head.

"Isabella, you are no more than a wretched fucking bitch!" She swore, her hand lashing out to slap my cheek.

My eyes closed instinctively, my jaw clenched, as if to quench the pain.

"You don't deserve to live." She hissed, anger twisting and flaring in her words, yet mixed with a hint of pleasure as she watched indifferently, as tears rolled relentlessly down my cheek.

My fists tightened, then unclenched, and I could hear the echoes of the voices, Alice and Rosalie repeatedly calling my name in panic.

I knew what was coming for me the instinct the plates hit the ground, and I landed on top of them.

I was fifteen.

The shattered glass that pierced my underarms and my bare knees was nothing compared to the fear that was building its way up my chest, to spark the scream waiting to escape through my throat.

The silence was cold and frightening, but nothing close to the eyes I saw next.

They were so filled with fury, burning with an utter loathing that no fire could compare.

"Swan, you little bitch!!"

Roughly, she pulled me up with my wrists, ignoring my tremors that ran through my spine as broken plate remnants sliced through my calves.

"So careless and stupid. What did I do to deserve a useless slut like you?!?"

Her arm flexed backwards, and I closed my eyes tightly, preparing myself for her next assault. Her palm came in contact with my face with a loud 'crack', and I whimpered pathetically as pain shot through my cheek, as she shoved me carelessly against the wall.

"How dare you, how dare you," She breathed heavily, her voice dripping in absolute hatred. Alcohol reeked from her breath. "How dare you?!"

"Clean it up." She whispered ferociously, her nails piercing intentionally into my wrists. Her eyes glowering with hatred, she released her grip and flung me heavily on the ground, ignoring the shattered array of broken plates on the waiting for me there.

I forced my mouth shut as the sharp glass tore again at my skin, not wanting to make a sound.

With one last glance, she added, her voice filled with contempt loathing, "You mean nothing to me."

She stalked out the room, her head held high.

The numbness throbbed in my chest, blacking out the pain that screamed in my limbs, time and time over.

My vision was fading, as the sight of the mall made its way back into my mind.

Pain burned relentlessly in my chest, and this time, my willpower had faded too far, to try control it this time.

I could feel myself slowing losing control of my limbs, and my legs suddenly giving way.

Arms frantically supported my back, although I could feel they were trembling, not strong enough to carry me for long.

I opened my eyes again, but everything was dim, and the mall which once seemed so bright was only becoming black.

Voices that screamed in my ear were mere echoes, and I could feel my self-consciousness begin to slip.

Last thing I heard was Alice urgently instructing Rosalie, "Call they guys and get them here, now Rose!"

My eyelids shut, my arms collapsed, and everything went black.

Word Count: 4,283

Well that was really dramatic.

I hope you like it anyway.

I actually remember writing this. Bella's famous panic attack chapter. It was kind of funny to write.

So I'm just going to sleep now, and hopefully my throbbing headache will go away.

Cyan.

And please review. I'd love to read what you think of it.