"Potter, James!"

Hello, hat. Well, this is totally unnecessary, seeing as you could tell just from looking at me that I'm a Gryffindor, am I right? Well, anyway, I knew they'd make me sit up here even though we all know I was sorted at birth, so I prepared a little...presentation. Ready?

'I am most certainly not going to listen to your "presentation." Sorting is up to me, and a student has never had characteristics of just one House!'

Until me, of course. Well, if you're not going to listen, sort me fast so they know I'm a true Gryffindor.

'Quiet. Let's see...intelligence, yes. Bravery...arrogance...'

Hey! Okay, my little speech is clearly needed. I'm James Potter, but you knew that. I'm a great student and probably smarter than everybody here. I'm a great Quidditch player! I'll be on the Gryffindor team in no time. But there isn't a house for good Quidditch players, is there? That's why I have so many other good qualities. I'm brave, of course! And nice—but that doesn't mean I want to be a Hufflepuff! Oh, yes, and I'm good looking...very good looking. Those third years girls over there have already noticed, see their faces?

'Enough! You seem to have a different strategy than most students. I've already had three first years get up here and tell me what a beautiful, brilliant hat I am.'

Would you like me to do that?

'Hmm. As much as I'd love to put you in a different house just to spite you, I'm going to have to go with...'

"GRYFFINDOR!"