HELLO, EVERYBODY. I'M NOT DEAD! I know, shocker, right? This took forever to make time for and forever to actually WRITE, so basically it's taken twice as much forever. And I truly am sorry for that. But I do actually like the way this one turned out, and I'm curious to see how you'll react to it! So let me know what you think! =D I don't own Hetalia, but I do own this chapter!

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Turning the World Right-Side Up

Chapter Five: A New Couple

"—and then Lovi told him that he wanted to be an UNCLE!" Seychelles slumped against her locker, unable to stop the near-hysterical laughter bubbling out of her.

"He DIDN'T!" she choked out.

"He totally did," Hungary said, giggling herself at the recollection of the event. That just made Seychelles laugh harder until she and Hungary were leaning against each other because they were unable to stand on their own. After a few minutes of laughter, they managed to compose themselves.

"I didn't know Lovino was so good at acting like a freak," commented Seychelles, her dark eyes still sparkling with mirth.

"You'd be surprised," agreed Elizabeta, "Although he hasn't really needed to act as of late. He's been enough of a freak anyway. Acting all irritable and moody—"

"Isn't he always like that?" Seychelles interrupted with genuine curiosity.

"Usually, he's just grumpy for the sake of being grumpy," Hungary snorted derisively. "But now he's taking it too far. He made Feliciano cry the other night, which is actually pretty unusual. I mean, he felt awful afterwards, but he still did it. And he's been hiding a pack of cigarettes in his sock drawer, even though he's promised to quit about twelve times."

"…Wait, how do you know what's in his sock drawer?"

"I know EVERYTHING," she said with a roll of her eyes. "But that's beside the point. Basically, he's been a little shit lately, and it's all Spain's fault."

"He took the dumping really hard, huh?" she murmured sympathetically. "Can't say I blame him. He seemed to genuinely like Antonio—in his own way, I mean. And Antonio seemed to like him. He still does."

"Oh really?" A genuine spark of interest crept into her voice. Seychelles shrugged, not noticing the way the news seemed to make Hungary perk up.

"Yeah. He's been all depressed in Spanish class. Drooping around, looking all listless." Seychelles could speak both French and English fluently, and as a result decided to pursue Spanish to round out her language studies. "He's not really helping the girls who are trying to get his attention for tutoring. He just talks to himself in Spanish all the time. He seems miserable. And he constantly asks me about Lovino. 'How's he doing?' 'Is he well?' It's getting a little weird."

"So he DOES still like him!" Hungary squealed. The sound interrupted the otherwise quiet hallways, and everybody looked at them in confusion. A blush rose to Seychelles's coffee-colored cheeks, but Elizabeta just sighed. "Oh, like you guys haven't heard a girl flip a shit in your hallways before." The students all glanced at each other—this was actually quite true—before resuming whatever they were doing. Hungary nodded in satisfaction before turning back to her friend. "So he does still like him!" she repeated in a more normal volume.

"What makes you say that?" Seychelles asked skeptically.

"Oh, please. I recognize the symptoms. He's obviously as lovesick as a little puppy. A little Spanish puppy. With a fanclub." Hungary nodded confidently, tossing her hair over her shoulder so it would stop getting caught on the buttons of her shirt. "The only question is, why would he dump Lovi if he still is madly and desperately in love with him?"

Seychelles raised an eyebrow at the choice of words, but didn't question them any more than that. "Good luck trying to get an answer out of him. I've been asking him nonstop at the beginning and end of every class. He just looks around like he thinks someone will come and punch his lights out, and then says 'I'd rather not talk about it now'. Too bizarre."

"Well, we'll just have to BEAT IT OUT OF HIM!"

"Are you SERIOUS?" Seychelles spluttered out.

"Of course not. Ladies don't resort to violence. Unless it's on albinos and thoroughly deserved." Hungary pursed her lips sourly, doubtless thinking of obnoxious Gilbert, who she had yet to realize genuinely liked her 'that way'. "No, with Spain we need to take a different approach. He needs a push to admit exactly what it is that caused him to break it up. And if he still loves Lovi, then that'll be easier then we thought! What we need," she said, grinning slowly, "is to make him jealous."

--

"Do we really need to ask HER?" Seychelles mumbled anxiously. "She's really scary! I heard she killed someone once!"

"Those are just rumors, Chelles," said Hungary, trying to separate the panicked girl from her arm. She was beginning to lose circulation. "And there's nobody else to go to. She's the best person for the job!"

"But how do you know she'll DO it? We're really not sure she'll even say yes."

"Well, we have to try, right?"

"Right," Seychelles muttered, but she didn't sound entirely convinced.

"Look, I'll do all the talking. You don't even have to do anything. You're just here for moral support. Okay?" Hungary steered her towards the band lockers, the girl in question's particular place of residence during lunch period. There they found her, sitting in an abandoned chair casually, filing her nails into perfect points with a sharp dagger. Seychelles let out a little scream, but the other girl barely glanced up.

"What do you want?" she asked in a bored voice, looking at her nails still.

"N-nothing! Let's go!" Seychelles stammered, pulling at Hungary's arm. The brunette stubbornly refused to move, instead smiling amiably.

"Hey, how did you get that knife in school? Didn't the student council freak about it?"

Dark eyes snapped up to meet the Elizabeta's green ones and she smirked in response to the question. "And how do you propose they would take it from me?"

"True," Elizabeta responded, her tone still agreeable. "You really can do anything, can't you, Natalia?"

"Depends," she said suspiciously, "on what it is you're asking me to do. And how much you're willing to pay me for it."

"Come on, Eliza," said Seychelles in a quavering voice. "Lunch is almost over."

"We have plenty of time, Chelles."

"What's your hurry?" Natalia asked with a challenging smile. She slid the knife into her shoulder bag and withdrew a black bottle of nail polish, which she uncapped and used to carefully spread a new coat of polish on her black-chipped nails.

"No hurry at all. In fact, we came to see if you'd help us with a problem." Seeing Natalia's raised eyebrow, Hungary persisted. "You see, our friend Lovino has been—"

"Dumped," Natalia cut in, neatly brushing a little more polish on her right index nail. "I've heard. By that dumbass Carriedo." A note of contempt entered her voice when she mentioned his name, and Hungary made a mental note to remember her apparent dislike of him. It could be useful later. "Boohoo. How tragic. What do you want me to do about it?"

"I'm glad you asked," Hungary said cheerfully. "Lovino is still really in love with him." 'Not that he'll admit it,' she added silently. "And according to my sources, Antonio might still be in love with our little Lovi. The only issue now is why they broke up, but Spain won't talk. This is where you come in, Natalia."

"I'm not sure I like where this is going," said Natalia, narrowing her eyes. "but you can call me Belarus if you'd like. Almost nobody calls me by my real name anymore."

"Right. Belarus. Well, we need some way to make Antonio either talk to us or get back together with Romano. So we figured the best way was to make him jealous."

"Let me guess. You want me to fake-date your little Lovino." Hungary nodded and a smirk flickered across Belarus's mouth. "Sounds interesting. But why should I do it?"

"Because," Seychelles piped up, to the surprise of all three of them. "You've hated Spain since middle school. Ever since he beat your brother in the school talent show. Remember? Ivan got second and Spain got first."

"It wasn't a fair fight," barked Belarus, sitting upright and drawing her knife out again. Seychelles flinched away, but all Natalia seemed to want to do with it for the moment was clutch it in her hand. "Just because that jackass Antonio has more friends then my beloved brother, he won the stupid contest! Ivan practiced and practiced his song, and it was beautiful. Just because Spanish supposedly sounds 'sexier' then Russian and that stupid douchebag of a Spaniard has a throng of half-witted fangirls who will vote for him, he won! And I will NEVER forgive him for that!"

"Then there's your reason," Hungary said, seeming unaffected by her outburst. "To piss him off." Seeing Natalia's uncomprehending look, she pressed on. "Well, you hate him. That much is evident. Wouldn't you love to get under his skin by pretending to date the boy he's in love with? Don't you wanna see him glaring at you with the same irritation that you feel towards him?"

"Hm…Tempting," said Belarus slowly, a smirk stretching across her mouth. "Alright. I'll do it. But just for the sake of pissing off that asshole."

"Perfect!" cheered Hungary, leaning forward eagerly. "Okay. This is what I need you to do."

--

Lovino was just innocently walking down the hallway when all of a sudden he felt someone latch onto his arm. He looked down to see what's-her-name clinging to him, looking up at him adoringly. "Um, can I help you…girl?"

"Yes you can," she said with a giggle. "My name is Natalia, or Belarus, and I'm your girlfriend now."

Lovino started at her for a few seconds in pure disbelief, finally managing to say one word: "What."

"We're DATING," cooed Belarus, her eyes sparkling with something akin to murderous rage. Actually, there really wasn't an 'akin' about it. "We're madly in love. And," she added in a whisper, "if you say anything different, I'm going to rip you apart limb by limb. This is all to make your dumbass ex jealous, so if you don't play along, I'm going to castrate you with a rusty axe." There was a brief pause. "Darling," she added as an afterthought.

"Oh my god," Lovino breathed in horror. He could see Spain staring at them in shock out of the corner of his eye, but the thought didn't make him any less terrified of the fair-haired girl beside him.

"I love you," said Belarus sweetly, looking at him with her best smile. There was something somewhat creepy about her smile, pretty though it was, and Romano attempted to sneak out of her grip. She tightened it when she felt him try to leave, and he blanched. "Do. You. Love. Me. Lovi?"

"…Sure?" he said, color rising to his cheeks. Even if this WAS Belarus, it seemed like it had been a long time since somebody said those words to him. Belarus smiled in satisfaction as she heard Antonio drop an armful of books. She leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Good enough, stupid. Took you long enough to play along," she breathed, before pulling back. She silently steeled herself for what she knew she had to do—'The things I'll do for revenge, really'—before leaning forward and pressing her lips to the stunned pair beneath her.