Winter-Rae: Here's another one for you all. I hope you enjoy it. Who do you want next? Duncan? Or Noah? Or someone else?

THE USER'S GUIDE AND MANUAL FOR

IZZY

Copyright Wawanakwa Ltd.

Congratulations!

You are now the proud owner of an IZZY unit! In order to obtain maximum enjoyment from your psycho hose beast please follow the instructions below.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

NAME: Izzy; sometimes also referred to as 'Kaleidoscope, E-Scope, Explosivo, Esquire '

TYPE: Human (female)

MANUFACTURES: Wawanakwa Ltd.

HEIGHT: 5'8

WEIGHT: Roughly 122 lbs

SIZE: B

COLOUR: orange hair and green eyes

ACCESSORIES:

Your IZZY unit comes complete with an accessory pack which should provide you with hours of mutual enjoyment. Units arrive fully dressed in a green bathing suit and wrap, via wooden box. Also included are a tranquillizer gun, some explosives and a rattlesnake.

Upon receiving your IZZY it is strongly recommended that you immediately remove her clothes, take away the explosives, untangle her from the rattlesnake and then put her into a nice bubble bath. This will keep her moving parts in good condition and fully functional. As your IZZY has recently been digging underground with her prairie dog family, you may have to climb in with her to ensure that all parts of her are adequately lathered. This procedure should be repeated as needed to ensure that her moving parts are kept well-lubricated and in fine working condition.

NOTE: Committed IZZY owners should ensure that their significant others are out or have other plans before doing this. Wawanakwa Ltd is not held responsible for any heart breaking breakups or hospital fees due to careless execution of this procedure in the company of a jealous significant other.

For international buyers, Wawanakwa Ltd. accepts no liability for getting your unit through customs

OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS:

Your IZZY unit has been designed to be user friendly and efficient. Her controls are voice activated and she will respond to instructions in English. You may also choose to teach her commands in other languages. Since she is very intelligent, with an IQ of 188, picking up other languages will be no trouble to her memory banks.

Aside from being both insane and a bundle of laughs, your IZZY unit has many other uses.

Karate: You IZZY isn't afraid to roundhouse kick anyone who might be bothering you or her. This includes CHEF units, JUSTIN units, your teachers, elected officials, RCMP officers, etc.

Snake Dancing: This is a highly delicate feature on your IZZY unit and we recommend being very far away from her when she does this. It is also recommended to have bottles of anti-venom for every type of venomous snake just in case they decide to 'kiss' you or your IZZY.

Stalking: Disappointed that you couldn't meet your favourite celebrity for their autograph? Well just activate this mode on you IZZY and she will hunt them down and camp on their doorstep until the autograph is yours! NOTE: Your IZZY will not take restraining orders seriously; you would do well to explain this to said favourite celebrity. You might get the autograph faster.

Creating Fire Starters: Lost in the cold, dark woods? Not to worry. You're IZZY will have a fire going for you in no time. Making a fire starter out of nothing but tree sap and other materials the IZZY unit has yet to divulge, you'll be toasty warm soon. However, you might lose your eyebrows in the process. But who needs eyebrows anymore right?

COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS:

You will find that your IZZY unit is compatible with most of the other TDI units. Especially the NOAH and EVA units and also the OWEN unit. It is recommender to keep your IZZY away from your JUSTIN unit since IZZY units hate liars. Also, should you unlock the IZZY unit's FEMSLASH mode; she will get along even better with an EVA unit who also has this mode unlocked.

CLEANING:

Hand washing of the unit is both recommended and enjoyable for the owner. After showering, dry your IZZY by rubbing her briskly with a large towel. Do not tumble dry. Do not hang her on the washing line, even if she begs you to do so.

PRECAUTIONS:

Do not expose your IZZY unit to fire, strong magnetic fields, electricity, excessive humidity, great heights, flying aircrafts, explosives, or anything sharp and pointy.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Q: Why is my IZZY getting mad at me when I call her by her name?

A: You IZZY has entered her ALTER EGO mode. While this can sometimes be very confusing, just be sure to ask her who she is at the start of each day. This will clear up any confusion and your IZZY will be very happy that you thought to do so.

Q: What would happen if I was to lock my IZZY unit in a room with my JUSTIN unit?

A: You would have to buy yourself a new JUSTIN unit, as well as new furniture for said room. But we hope you would not do anything as foolish as to place those two units in a room alone together.

Q: My IZZY unit took off with my friend's EVA and NOAH units, then came back reeking like fish, what happened?

A: Your IZZY unit no doubt roped the EVA and NOAH unit together to help her ambush a JUSTIN unit. If you go out into your backyard, you might find a JUSTIN unit wandering around with a bucket of fish over his head. Kindly return him to his owner and then celebrate with your IZZY over her victory.

TROUBLESHOOTING:

Problem: My IZZY has been talking in a creepy Scottish accent, what's going on?

Solution: Your IZZY is also the reincarnation of her great-Grandmother, Mavis. She is no doubt channelling her for your amusement. If this is not amusing you however, we suggest backing away...slowly.

Problem: I found a HEATHER unit tied up with a dart sticking out of her bum.

Solution: Your IZZY has entered her HUNTING mode and has mistaken the HEATHER unit as a deer. We suggest taking the tranquillizer gun from your IZZY and untying the HEATHER unit, though this may cause some ruckus if the HEATHER unit is in her VENGENCE mode.

Problem: A group of Royal Canadian Mounted Police just arrived on my front lawn! Although I love their snappy outfits, should I be worried about my IZZY?

Solution: Don't worry. THEY'LL NEVER TAKE HER ALIVE!

FINAL NOTE:

Should any other problems arise with your IZZY unit, please contact our help desk. In the case of un-resolvable differences, please return the unit for a complete refund. And as a gift from us, you can keep the rattlesnake!

Wawanakwa Ltd. accepts no responsibility for any and all legal problems brought about by said unit. All costs for damaged property, medical bills, and for keeping the unit in good shape are entirely the owner's responsibility.

We at Wawanakwa Ltd. are sure that you will be very happy with your purchase, and should you follow the above instructions you will have many years of enjoyable service from the IZZY unit. Remember, an IZZY is not just for your birthday; an IZZY is for life. (A message from Wawanakwa Ltd.)

Winter-Rae: Wow, Izzy's was really hard to write. Still, I hope it was amusing to some. Oh and my dog had five pups in all; three girls and two boys. They are so cute! And the mother is doing just fine. Anyway! Thanks for reading. Cheers!