I had sat at his graveside countless times. I had sat there before going out; I had sat there with alcohol in my hand. I had sat there looking for guidance. I had even sat there with this idea in my head on more then occasions then one. Not once, though, had I pulled out a knife and nearly gone through with it. Now, I feel like life is meaningless: I was having hallucinations; the woman I loved was with another man. How could I possibly survive through life now.

I slowly, gently, run the knife along my wrist, not pushing it deep enough to do any real damage, just enough that I knew I could.

"Eric?" I bite my lip, drop my knife and turn to see Wolfe standing there with flowers. I saw him glance to my side. I saw as his face fell.

I grab my knife and place it in my pocket. "What are you doing here?" I ask as I stand.

"Visiting. You ok?"

"Yeah... Someone close?" I ask as I follow him over by the lake.

Ryan clears his throat and hesitates. "My Fiance."

I stop in my tracks. Ryan turns to face me. "Your..." I could hardly believe it. Ryan always seemed off when it came to the topics of relationships. I had always assumed he was was gay. But engaged never crossed my mind. "How'd she die?"

Ryan smiles sadly. "Car crash... She was in a car with a drunk friend and he drove off a cliff."

"Wow..." We stop at a grave right beside the lake. Not wanting to intrude, I glance around, sneaking a look at the grave:

Andrea Wayne

May 7th 1982

Died Augest 28th 2000

Aged 18

Dearly missed as a daughter, sister, friend and mother

There was a picture on the grave of a young, pretty girl with short black hair.

Sad thoughts washed over me. The girl bore a slight resembelence to Mari. I looked at Ryan to see him staring at me. My eyes caught the headstone again: "mother". My eyes widened. "You have a kid?"

"No... It's her son, not mine... She was raped a year before she died. Her little boy looked so much like her that I decided to take care of him.

"Did you see her...? I mean, when you knew she was...?"

"Yeah... I found the car and uh... I tried to stop the bleeding." Tears filled his eyes so I looked away. When I looked back he was smiling. "I couldn't save her... But she died knowing that I loved her."

It was then, thanks to Ryan, that I realised that kife was short enough when fate was in control, why should someone make it shorter rather then spending time with the ones they loved?

I smiled at Ryan. "Well, Wolfe... You saved my life."